"halitosis" poems
The sun, a blazing circle of celestial fire
Hangs low upon the horizon,
Its fiery glory reflecting orangely
On the wind-whipped, blue-green sea.
The late afternoon sees my love and I,
Arms and legs entwined, ******* naked on the beach,
Rapt in appreciation of that blest moment
When sun and sea join in mystic communion.
And yet, all is not golden:
When one mentions the word "legs"
Once is certainly grammatically correct, yet
One does not convey the true situation to the reader.
You see, my lover is the sad possessor
Of a fifty percent deficit in the podial department,
Whilst I have a full double complement.
And thus to so-called act of generation
(Most times mis-named, for which I thank the gods)
Is a feat requiring great dexterous equilibrium.
However, my love's club foot (speaking candidly,
An admitted visual defect most times)
Now comes to the rescue of Eros' urgent needs,
With the aid of a little mutual ingenuity.
Balancing carefully on my dear one's abbreviated podex,
Supported carefully by the discarded surgical boot,
A passable **** can usually be achieved.
Only the halitosis appears irremediable.
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 10:40 AM UTC
For what it is worth,
I have been drunk on self-loathing and
halitosis since our separation
for the sole reason that
brushing my teeth
is only necessary if
kissing is mandatory
which is quite often the case
at least in well built relationships.
Actually, we did not
have one of those, I suppose
because you obviously
never brushed your teeth.
From here on out
I swear to hook up with
only those in the field of dentistry,
and only if they believe
it is ***** to do ***
in lab coats
surrounded by extracted pediatric teeth.
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013 at 11:11 AM UTC
IN BED WITH STEPHEN KING
backstage: Romeo
tries it on
Juliet 'its 'im 'ard
the slap
shocks the extras
they pause mid-make-up
Juliet's received pronunciation
slips back into her native Cockney
Romeo told to go forth and multiply
anyway, Paris is
more her type and
oooh his *** in ahhhh...those tights
Romeo's...ughhh....halitosis
she winces with each kiss
taste of garlic...cheap cigarettes
an audience applauds
the curtain falls
glad to be just Jane again
she takes time
to un-Shakespeare her self
boy but she could ****** a kebab
Romeo: once again Andy
her ex & yes yes
she wants *** but...not with him
Paris: now Peter
gives her a saucy wnk
"Hmm!" she thinks "Hmmm!"
she imagines him
nakedly mad for her
sans tights...sans everything
alas that wink was
for Tybalt...god ****
another night in bed with
- Stephen King.
Feb 23, 2019
Feb 23, 2019 at 3:00 PM UTC
Center pressure on the tip
Of the glassed pleasure,
Release a million particles,
Watch them rest on the air.
Thousands of master dancers twirling, spinning,
Sashaying their paths to refuge.
Inhale, exhale.
The atoms entice, capture.
Pleasuring senses with alluring influences.
Just like a ballerina, trapezed,
Carefully and gracefully
Leaning her swan-like neck
Away from her poor partner,
Afflicted by the contrast of halitosis.
Another focus of pressure:
The last of inconveniences amended.
Feb 13, 2010
Feb 13, 2010 at 8:44 PM UTC
When I think of that matchless night
with your hideous face on the pillow
your disgusting body spread eagled on my bed
unwashed and rancid like stale fish stew
I recall nothing but putrid filth
and how the memory lingers on
of your staggering halitosis flavours
filthy foulness oozing from broken teeth
and gum abscesses so deep no tongue could
fully probe them without coming through
the other side covered in warm pus
and you left in the morning
leaving my sheets looking like
a patchwork quilt of many colours
after having elegantly wolfed down
a huge bacon and egg fry-up
accompanied by loud squelchy farts
presaging a dump in your knickers
and you never even suggested
we should have another date
so that old story about the ugly ones
being grateful is a load of *****
but I can't be too fussy really
now I'm pushing eighty-eight.
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 6:58 AM UTC
I just heard that
they are going to pass a law
prohibiting smoking
e-cigarettes indoors.
Well if that is the case,
why don't they halt
all auto mobile traffic
in the down town area's,
like Inglis Street.
Them fumes
are a harsh pollutant...
Why can't they get real.
Now you're treating smokers like
they are
flesh eating zombies
that have halitosis
whom need to be steered
outside and away from token rabble-rousers
eating their daily bread.
Jan 19, 2014
Jan 19, 2014 at 3:33 PM UTC
Meanings mull within mulish minds
Letters like lingering halitosis
Words waft with each exhale
Sentences,
swirling, sliding, sighing
Phrases pant per pulmonary systems
Tumbling through teeth,
Vocabulary resonates outward
Into the stagnant air
Permanence spills over tongues
Word ***** condemnation
Speak your life sentence
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 3, 2017 at 6:19 PM UTC
prognosis
for gnosis
unfortunately
poor for us
enlightenment
eschewed
like a bad
case of
halitosis
veins of
understanding
constricted with
thrombosis
open minds
burst from
chronic
trikanosis
students and
teachers lack
a needed
symbiosis
antibiosis
trumps
scrabble
word
biocenosis
for the sake
of a bit
of silly
exegesis
oh my
gnosis
where for
art thou
angel
peda go
go sis
Music Selection:
Esperanza Spalding -
I know You know
Oakland
4/2/14
jbm
Apr 2, 2014
Apr 2, 2014 at 2:48 PM UTC
don't untwist the twisted bro..just follow the flow of the gifted yo..caught in a whirlwind moving to and fro..can't figure this **** out guess we'll never know..opposite movements from where the system will go..krazy as a ***** fucker..Meth,crack,weed persue your needs **** who bleeds..to caught up in religion to see the blood on the leafs..men standing in a circle with blood on their sleeves..discontentment was womans down fall..Adams was Eve's..painting life with a brush under sycamores and behind houses..neighbors are the closest apart from bad breath and halitosis of course the end wouldn't make sense..its the only way to share psychosis
Nov 21, 2013
Nov 21, 2013 at 7:45 PM UTC
Mental halitosis
My mind stinks
Because I can't scrape off memories of you.
Trepanation is the only solution
Drill out my old life
And stuff it full of molded silver
Then my thoughts
Will sparkle
In the soft sunlight
Of forgetting.
Mar 30, 2012
Mar 30, 2012 at 3:31 PM UTC
Yay, it's another lovely Barry Hodges "Memories" poem.
How happily I recall the excitement of my visits to Lewisham's hospital
For my regular "haemorrhoid adjustment/re-alignment" sessions,
During which time I made the acquaintance of a nursing sister
With possibly the fiercest libido in south-east London.
And one night, whilst we were "on the job" in her comfy cubicle,
I glanced over her fat shoulder through the cracked observation window.
Ah yes, dear reader, it was the relatively cleanish Ward G
(the terminal one where the near-dead await merciful release,
wittily nicknamed "the happy dreamers' room" by the matron,
an evil predatory old **** with a 40-inch waist and wild halitosis);
I watched a spectacularly ugly nurse peering o'er the screen
Around poor old ******** Bertie "Big ***** Bloggs.
His wasted, crippled, whitened pyjamed form
Lay twitching on the none-too-clean patched sheets;
He opened his unseeing, ancient eyes and gave voice:
"Give us a gobble" the old ****** croaked pathetically,
"You know you want to, you fat smelly *****
And then he croaked. Unsucked and unloved,
O my beloved lector, compassionate creature that thou art,
Surely thy pleasure will be utterly intensified to learn that
The NHS bedsheets were indelibly and spectacularly stained
As his bowels opened spontaneously with Death's kindly appearance.
"Gor ******* blimey, what a ******* horrid pong," came a groan:
('twas Sammy "No Legs" Smith in mid-wank on a nearby trolley).
These events in the ward led to an inevitable result for me:
You have divined it correctly, O treasured fan of mine,
Yea verily, the happenings I espied made me blow my ***
Most prematurely and my love-partner, the sylphlike Sister Sally,
Was so sodding annoyed she crushed my tender haemorrhoids
Quite brutally in her surgical spirit-hardened left hand.
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 8:42 AM UTC
I open my mouth to your tongue
and it forces its way in
slurping past my incisors
and licking the crevices between my molars
like a snake about to strike
at a mongoose's ********
oh my god but your halitosis
is enough to make me boke
copiously on my new hush puppies.
Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 2:02 PM UTC
a bottle of sake
four double gin and tonics
bad halitosis
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 6:35 AM UTC
It's not easy speak
or a Speak Easy
when conversing with him,
dark'ling gremlin toothless grin
but he's your friend so I carry on
with Yoda in the corner of my mind
"judgmental you must be not"
and Comicon's collective excitement fading
as the light will do in the west...
We speak easy with the circling
of the communal pipe
crystal peace in mists of glass orbs
oil burner fog horns
piercingly in & between my ears
but its not so easy to ignore
the scent of death in his halitosis
We spoke of Superheroes
their idiosyncratic identities
His secret celebrity crushes
envying Green Lantern’s ring finger
he speculates on Cyclop's orientation,
"Y don’t you make me an X man, professor?"
Informatively encyclopedic volubility,
Mike speaks queerly and toofless
yet well versed on oral
said he rims pacific beach boys
(And I can smell the white lies
wafting from his mouth)
as I color at his studly fairy tales
and his idolatry of prepubescent innocence
the hyper kind of **********
as he verbally recalls the taste of how sweet
the sweet untouched were...
*"The most gorgeous boys I’ve ever seen
in **** or anyplace on the face of the planet
comes from and are probably ******* now
in Europe... Mmm, European boys...
I want to use my life’s savings to go there
enter the war zone and come back wounded..."*
I can't even imagine
Shrapnel jacked backside, points and protrusions
grandiloquent mouths and holes full of
enunciations...
"Fourteen is the age of consent there..." he is smiling
a caricature of a wolf *** fang less
Such a pseudo wanna-be
possibly already
********* friend from the broken rainbow factory,
how I chuckle uncomfortably
shake my head disbelievingly
oh the humorous horror of it...
(I'm grinding my teeth, until I notice myself
doing so and get an image of him
with a gummy grin,
I preoccupy my thinking
nodding as I half-heartedly half listen)
Jun 11, 2016
Jun 11, 2016 at 12:54 PM UTC
POTUS
SCOTUS
Halitosis
By the pricking of my thumb,
Something wicked this way's come.
Oct 7, 2018
Oct 7, 2018 at 3:45 AM UTC
We got a god thing going here
We got gun runners and *** runners
Nice and furtive
I will not go to the penitentiary
I'll get a face lift if I have to
She knows too much
Give her a party favor
That represents our colonial ways
Gingivitis
It's a hoot
Halitosis
Pass the ammunition
No flash photography
Bump some coke
Before the search and seizure
Of puzzled looks
Some can't deal with this safari maze
Mutter a prayer for human error
It's first come first served
A double helix goodie-bag
Stomp the home schooled henchmen
Mace them and throw the grenade
It's too close for comfort
And that's the gist of it
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 3:24 PM UTC
Love,
My love lost in tangles.
My lover lost in tangles the wind pushes and pulls,
silk ribbons scarved around metal fence posts.
Carved around sentimental friend posts,
Computer monitor halitosis,
Curvaceous moments leave you hopeless.
Hopeless in the deep end and you drown,
but love,
Lost in angles.
Lost in traditional hang-ups and
Lost on a particular campus.
Divide the mental anguish,
Stand by and maybe hand this,
back to me
I might reciprocate and
Debilitate and the modesty wont
Depreciate as you make your,
point.
Stand by me,
Look lackluster at the edges of
perennial views.
Stand by me,
Walk me down the marital isle of
your perpetual bad news.
-P.S.
Jun 16, 2013
Jun 16, 2013 at 9:22 AM UTC
Garner the relics of my shattered aura,
Unfetter me from the scaffolds of despair,
Frazzled by the quest of divinity,
My entity crumbles, segments scatter,
Marred is my spirit,
By the halitosis of demons that crowd my
mind,
Marooned in the island of pugnacious
beasts,
My faith dwindles, peace fritters away,
Fawn autumn leaves,
Blown by the gales to the kingdom of
solace,
Pity my soul, deride my existence
"Thee are nothing, but a fallible
saunterer, in the dynasty of abomination,
the reign of feigning fidelity."
Feb 25, 2014
Feb 25, 2014 at 4:17 AM UTC
The pretty people do the drugs
The criminals will do the time
The homely people do the work
Inside,
They don't like what they find
They don't have you
The way I do
Your t-shirt's large but belongs right here
You think I'm hot in yesterday's get-up
You prefer me when I'm fresh from a morning
When we both have a twang of slight halitosis
You're gross
But you loved the smell of my hair
I know that it's wrong
To think of you and grin
To recall the definition of your chin
The freckles on your chest
You hated them, wanted them removed
And I'd shake my head
And press my nose against your neck
Remember when we used to dance?
Front and center, your locks of gold would gather
Corkscrew
And condensate
Salty, sweet times
I'll find them once again.
Dec 16, 2011
Dec 16, 2011 at 9:15 AM UTC
How can I stop,
this lead filled shaft,
from texting about lies?
Spreading words that
expose some truths.
Order:
Cheese, burger and fries.
Orders to desist,
from the right-thought cops,
make my wood wand, wiggle
spurting tiny dots
on paper.
Some puns, to make one, jiggle.
Onions, mustard.
Halitosis.
How, this parch-
ment does stink!
No more fragrant
lines that clatter;
old stained platter in the sink.
Bold pro-nounce-ments.
Dec-la-ra-tions.
Little ditties, catchy rhymes.
Freaky fables,
twisted gristers.
Mills churning, fruit, from ripe vines.
Meals of corn gruel.
New! Eye candy.
Salivate on par-a-graphs.
Drooling foolish
in - u - endos.
Reveal wisdoms: walked down paths.
Rebuilding brains,
is the point,
of these obscure, obscene words.
Lettuce listen
to the crunching
of our inner munching herds.
Power surging,
from vibrations
as the cantor, picks up pace.
A light comes on.
Awaken- ness!
Gulp! Right in the nick of time.
Ps. It is a RACE.
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 9:19 AM UTC
painful ghosts in inverted dance
their bodies are engraved with curses
desperately they try to create music
wich may reveal their true nature
but only silent halitosis pours forth
ancient masks pervert the purity of their intentions
my desire to burst into a thousand dying stars
so that mine heart, tortured by black hands
may dream until all concept of time is wilted
but i am fettered in this wyrd carcass
the words i utter are devoid of meaning
my mortal kinesthetics only deforms
my wishes to love you
in this prison of marrow
sleeps my passion
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 11:31 PM UTC
They need to redirect the energy they hate with
It's basic
Improvements will be made by creating love from hatred.
Like seeing a rain cloud and being glad you're outta the sun.
Like.. run Forrest run!!
What's with this kid?
Is he dumb?
I dunno
But he drops the funk like halitosis when the words leave his lungs.
..and the spit leaves his tongue.
Where the hell did he come from?
Not sure but..
I think they found him between a rock and a hard place with both sides of his heart stuck.
****
Little did they know he had them underneath his thumb
Just waitin to push the button
Waitin to spray on something
Waitin to be the one to,
Bring the fire and brimstone
Because revenge can be sweet,
Kinda like a cold stone,
So pump this **** loud
til the dairy cows come home
stick it upside down in your tape deck
and eat it like a fat kid.
May 4, 2016
May 4, 2016 at 3:47 PM UTC
Spinning..Spinning... I'm Dizzy
Ready to fall,
But I can't see the ground.
Voices in my head,
But I can't see a crowd.
Momma Momma,
Have I made you proud?
I made it to twenty-one,
But you can't see me now.
Can't fight this feeling
Can't hide this frown
Should I bite my tongue
Or rep my town
My Life
Spiraling...Spiraling
Down through the cosmos,
My life's odor is foul like halitosis
My heartbeat screams through the Galaxies
Paying my long distance
Soul searching fees.
In hopes that I can find you before my spirit leaves
In hopes that I find the right moment,
And I happen to seize it.
Just take my hand and squeeze it
Walk with me
While you tell me everything
Your pleased with,
I pray to the most high
On my knees quick
I have this stabbing pain
In my heart,
And the Dr's can't seem to ease it
I'm begging for peace of mind
I'm beating vocal cords
Making supplication to the nation
Wishing my agony
Would finally take a short vacation.
Sometimes I feel empty
Like my torso is Vacant
Though I've learned to live with it
So I appear to be complacent
You can't walk in my shoes
Our lives aren't adjacent
Your life's problems
Are only a day of my obligations
So you don't "Feel......Me"
That phrase is tasteless.
I wouldn't wish this
On my worse enemy
I know they can't take it
Can't stare in the mirror
At the reality I'm faced with.
No this isn't karma
That philosophy is basic
I don't want be here
But My Momma told me I can take it
My sister said in this life I can make it
So i'm climbing this tallest mountain
Just to tell them I made it.
Jun 22, 2014
Jun 22, 2014 at 6:32 PM UTC
They talk of christmas spirit
Of myrrh intertwined with magic
2019 was a special one
In my unending travel
I boarded a public service van
Sat next to a stranger
This was no regular stranger
She told me not to throw the plastics
An environmental conservative
Stranger after my own heart
She offered A gift
In absolute veracity this was my santa
And we talked about life
And of the passing of events
She has just alighted
And now am left here
Stuck with a new stranger
Who smells of alcohol
And dental halitosis
Now i cant talk
So i sit in wait
Waiting to reach my destination
All the while.....
Thinking about the perfect stranger.
May 11, 2023
May 11, 2023 at 2:52 AM UTC