They say people can be a creature of habit
But I never saw it quite like that.
I always thought of it as people with creatures,
their habits formed around this being.
They often seem fine,
Harmless in every way,
Little pets that follow the person around.
But my creature was invisible.
I guess it was never invisible,
Just hidden behind my back.
Never to be let out,
Never to be seen,
Never to be pet,
Just hidden out of shame.
This thing wasn't pretty,
Yet it held an illusion of perfectness,
Like a person who had one too many plastic surgeries.
Something that at first glance,
or maybe in the beginning,
Looked so great,
The best pet around.
But after a while,
You notice the things you never did before
The subtle impurities that are placed upon it
In a vain attempt to make it look perfect.
This thing tends to start out small.
Little creatures that can be managed,
out of site,
perfect little monsters.
Then as you tend to them more,
as they feed on your insecurities,
they begin to gain power.
But it happens so slowly that it looks natural,
just a little bit at a time.
Then at some point,
the scale begins to tip.
You try to stop it,
Command it to behave,
But you soon learn that this creature is no longer in your control.
It grows bigger and bigger,
Past the size of you,
And suddenly you are the one being hidden behind it's back
As you become invisible to the world around you.
If you are in this spot,
I implore you to keep fighting.
This monster's weakness is that it can only fight one at a time.
It can't handle more than one person,
So reach out.
Don't be afraid.
You will find help,
I promise you,
But you have to take that first step.
If you reach out a hand someone will grab it,
and help you fight this monster,
Tearaway this image of perfectness it attempts to reflect.
I won't lie to you,
the fight may not be easy,
but I can tell you this:
Every day, with some help from the people around you,
It gets better.
The monster gets torn down,
It begins to lose its control over you.
Until one day,
You wake up,
and there's nothing there.
If you are at this spot, keep fighting.