"gurt" poems
.
****
**** *****
Wiener Pecker U
nit ***** Piece T
ool Thing Shaft
Member Doink
er ***** Cack C
hour Chub Pud
******* Wanki
W a n g D ing
a ling Ding Don
g Kielbasa Brat
worst Meat Pop
sicle Meat ther
mometer Bolog
ny pony Salami
Sausage Tube
steak ****** P
orkSword Nood
le Banana Corn
dog Magic wan
d Staff Divine R
od Love muscle
Third leg Tonsi
l tickler Power
drill Jack hamm
er Wedding tac
kle Bat Club Rod
Pole Joystick Ja
ck-in-the-box S
kin flute D-trai
n Mr . Happy B
a ld - headed yo
gurt slinger Lon
g **** Silver Ji
my Johnson Kn
ob Captain Win
ky One eyed W
illy One eyed M
onster Peter On
e eyed trouser
snake The Sala
mander Horse
**** Lincoln lo
g Tootsie Roll F
Lesh trombone
Meat stick Meat
whistle Dobber
Wanger Woody
Shake weight T
iffy Frank and
the beans Ch o
a d t h e dirty
wise man *****
Harry nut cann
on Flesh flute
Satan's clarinet
Sexophone Th e Mayflower ( on
account of all the Puritans who came
on it ) The Wea p o n of A s s
destruction junk mail
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 1:37 PM UTC
australians all, let us rejoice
for this anthem is so ******
it has sentences that don’t make sense
like, our home is gurt by sea
what the flaming heck is a gurt my dear
i have no idea
australians probably put it there just to create a laugh
a hurt sounds like a terrible person like wayne and bruce or garth
in natural facts i say all this cause it makes no sense to me
like malcoml turnbull or just simply me
i will never stand up voluntary to
advance australia fair
i prefer to just sit and drink
but i hope i haven’t offended the australians honour
of enjoying this great anthem
i say it’s not great but that is just me
come on and party
enjoy yourself at party time
advance australia fair
i can’t help it i i don’t look like a patriot
we could choose another song
like down under or we are australian
anything but advance ausatralia fait, dudes, let’s party hard
to end advance australia fair as our anthem oh yeseree
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 4:30 AM UTC
lunch?
yes, lunch.
what will it be,
herr vielefurz? bring me,
oh noble page,
3 czech beers.
funny,
as a pole, i can
see the downfall
of germany,
and as nietzsche
predicted,
the deutsche:
wächter von kreuz...
and to see it,
well... i am seeing
germany topple,
and i didn't
even have to lift
a finger,
well, i had to do something:
so i farted while
sitting in an armchair;
in polish it sounds
a bit different:
mazel tov!
oh wait, that's jewish...
á jom patru patru na to szambo,
i se myślom... pinknie...
i se pier**dziáłem w fotel
na to ganz popierdolenie:
ojra ojra, hurrrrr'ah!
sto lat takich lat jak tych!
sto lat, sto lat, niech żyje nam,
sto lat, sto lat, niech żyje nam!
eins hundret, eins hundret,
damit leben für uns!
germany... it's your.... birthday!
wanna see the prezzies?
ah... go on... titanic is sinking,
might as well open them,
while the orchestra plays!
orchestra! play! play!
and let us sing:
sha! shtil! makht nisht keyn gerider
der rebe geyt shoyn tantsn vider
sha! shtil! makht nisht keyn gevalt
der rebe geyt shoyn tantsn bald...
and they took their root into the home
they made, and made their
language the mongrel ******* of
yiddish...
while in poland:
they still spoke with a "funny" accent...
as stanisław wokulski
would testify, in the novel
the doll, by bolesław prus.
p.s. i once heard a jew complain
that he be called that,
a jew...
ah... but wouldn't it be
more offensive, if i called you
a *** he blushed,
and took off his kippah;
well then,
hebrye.
Aug 12, 2017
Aug 12, 2017 at 10:47 AM UTC