good morning
baby grrl
do you need
some attention
want to cuddle
yes you may
get into bed
snuggle up
put your head
on daddy’s shoulder
i’ll wrap you up
hold you tight
center of
my world

The day came
This mad riot grrl
Who stays with hearts she does not love out of duty
Out of vulnerability is worse than death
Out of a sneaking suspicion that anything good in the world will corrode when left in her hands too long

The day finally came
This riot grrl found a 90’s cool boy and the censor bar over her chest popped off
Not to reveal an exposed breast but an exposed heart
Stiched together with fishnets and dragon fly hair pins
Still there where she thought she had dug it out with tiny spoons and razor blades
She had buried it deep with Green Day posters and burned Photographs
In a metal box adorned with skate sticker and manic panic stains

When the static beating started like a rolling drum beat waiting for a bass line she choked up sharp candy
Slick blue and green
Her tongue traced over it
Sticky sweet and all her own

If this is the way it ends, she decides, As she dips her nails in black polish and glitter
Let’s do this right
Let’s take it all off
Leave the sparkling and the songs
Exposed and laughing
And ride this roller coaster to the end
Eyes wide open for the first time

she told me once that she worshiped the
forest of her body and the garden she had grown (like spring
                                          all over her outsides).
she said she loved skin the same way i  loved
marlboro blacks and sweetwater blue (obviously and
                                         uncontrollably).
she screamed compliments at me in
soft words with rough meaning (like ****** knuckles against
                                        freshly cut grass).  
she assured me that it was okay to wake up
in cold sweats with heavy limbs (unmovable and brittle,
                                         buried under sheets).

but i knew better.

This is to the camera, that sees me as nothing but
Delicate bones and pearly whites
My essence captured through awkward captions and
My worth measured by likes and heart bytes
A photograph carefully composed
Of a girl with her true thoughts [boxed up tight]

This is to the boys who see me as nothing but
Geometric shapes
Circles and curves and parabolas
**** and *** and legs and waist
And an irrelevant concave where my brain should be
My “radical ideas” make me a butterface

This is to the academy, that sees me as nothing but
3.97 and a good SAT score
A scholar of great potential
That will donate millions or more
As an honored alumni
Of the greatest institution in the world

This is to society, that sees me as nothing but
A golden gal who always colored inside the lines
Mrs. Goody-Two-Shoes, no fire in my soles

“She’s never insubordinate, ‘cause she’s never been inclined”
Determined but docile
Go ahead and assume I’m not the rebellious kind

This is to myself, because I see that
My mind is a kaleidoscope of technicolor dreams
Ideas colliding like specks in sunbeams  
And I’ll call myself a feminist or riot grrl if I **** well please
You are not my dictator or an office label machine
It’s 2015; I’ll be whatever the hell I want to be.

In the movies this doesn’t happen.

The lovers don’t dissolve into nothing
after visits and good times and bad times and pet names and words like
safe
and
Soulmate
and

The One.

They don’t break up and
stay that way.

In the movies,
there’s unconditional love
and sometimes it’s tragic but
it’s always
unconditional,

But me?
I’m not the unconditional love
kind of grrl,
I’m only a grrl with

bad habits.

Pick my lip, my leg, pick my arm until I see red,
cut my arms up because I’m bored,
play games with my meds,
swipe my parents’ alcohol,
fall in love with
crazy grrls,
fall in love with

Impossibility.

-
I want to be able to Love forever but
wanting to talk to you
is only another bad habit,
only wanting another hit
to get the high before the fall.


See for me,
love is a high
and a


                                       crash.

There is no in between.

-
I want to be able to Love forever but
when I say I miss you
there is no feeling
when I say I want you
there is no feeling
when I say your name
there is no feeling.

I know now.
There are no soul mates.
There is no One.

(there is no one).

Harold Hunt
Just now ·
untitled
Little girl she does dream. While a little Boy he does play.
While the angels do a dance to the song she does sing about a star they begin to to pray.
little grrl she begins to sing a song of a star so near but so far
The little boy he plays a drum to the song she does sing
While the angels do a dance to the song she does sing about a star they begin to to pray.
They all pray for those that have died,
That are on  the star which are near but far.
The little girl far.does dream As the little boy he does play.
The Angels they still do a dance on the star which is so near but so far.

Little girl she does dream. While a little Boy he does play.
While the angels do a dance to the song she does sing about a star They begin to to pray.
little grrl she begins to sim\g a song of a star so near but so far
The little boy he plays a drum yo the song she does sing
While the angels do a dance to the song she does sing about a star They begin to to pray.
They all pray for those that have died,
That are the star which are near but far.
The little girl far.does dream As the little boy he does play.
The Angels they still do a dance on the star which is so near but so far