From birth my beauty condemned me, a sacrificial lamb for slaughter.
Beauty was a curse in my land, for each and every daughter.

The monster in the castle, Dracula would be his name.
Always hungry for ****** blood, and it was his right to claim.

Stealing a moment before I go, I took a bottle of sweet red wine.
Hoping that a drunken stupor
would help me with my time.

For days he kept his food alive, who wish that they would die.
I sat at the moonlit pond, and for my fate I did cry.
I come from a family, who's wholly dreaded
Because to the church we are indebted

I took up my family's sacred weapon
A holy whip, the vampire killer, after leaving home into Transylvania I treaded

I wandered aimlessly into a forest
Seeing Draculas castle on a hill,
My blood boiled and my family's voices were urging me to go pursue the ****

I stopped in a lonely clearing and Sat down with the whip at my side,
I looked up and saw a beautiful maiden carrying a very fine wine

As I walked the path, to the castle on the hill.
I saw the man upon a rock, my heart did calm and still.

He offered me some food, I shared with him my wine.
I stopped to sup with him, dragging out the time.

If I could love, this man I would choose.
Curse the fates and Dracula, because of them I lose.

I listened to his voice, shy to reveal my name.
I just want to stay here forever, safe and far from pain.

I whisper my name, after hearing his " Nero".
My lungs all but froze, and my heart rate went to zero.

A wonderful name
for a wonderful man.
My love was growing, but not part of the plan.

The time grew late,
I soon would have to go.
But I knew I was his,
I could feel it in my soul.

His story he did tell, the aim to destroy the beast.
The very same one, who on my blood would feast.

"Aurora" so simple yet supple, it rolled of the tongue
I knew that I loved her, I knew she was my only and one,

The problem was I was facing an impossible task,
Destroying the count, I wasn't sure if I would last

I said to her if tonight is my last on this earth
That I should enjoy it, like incense and myrrh

I could not let him go, without showing him my love.
I would give him my heart, before he is taken up above.

I untied my lace,and steeped out of my dress.
Watching his beautiful eyes, as they fell upon my breast.

I gave him my strength, my body,heart and soul.
All for the only man I will ever physically know.

His hands so tender,
it made my heart cry.
Holding him tightly,praying he would not die.

I stared at this beautiful woman, now naked in the moonlight,
I was aroused already by her appearance, but this was exemplified by the darkest night,

I laid her down on the forest floor and kissed her lovely face
Somehow my armor was stripped off of me and scattered all over the place

His kiss melted my heart, his loverall than made me whole.
Broken til I meet him, the partner of my soul.

I took him in deep, tho I was sure it would not fit.
But it easily slipped inside, with his fingers working my ****.

Gasping and moaning, he truly filled me up.
My joy and my pleasure, overflowing my womanly cup.

Scratching at his,back, and arcing up my hips.
My breath mingling with his, as his name escapes my lips.

My God this woman was like heaven on earth
She was so Beautiful, like the goddess of the hearth

She was so sweet and supple like a well cut gem I knew I loved this woman, and I proved it there and then

I fell apart in his arms, my ****** blew my mind.
This was the purest love, that would stand the test of time.

His loved filled me up, the moon he did give to me.
A caged bird no longer, for my beloved had set me free.

Far to soon our time did end, the fates stepping in once more.
But for a moment in time, we were connected and we soared.

It almost brought tears to my eyes, that our time together couldn't last
We made love so passionately, our bodies had stains of grass,

I gave her my mother's Morningstar, in case I didn't return
I loved this woman so much, it was a trinket she deserved

Tears flowing from my eyes, the Morningstar clasped to my breast.
I whispered my goodbyes, with a tightening in my chest.

Fully dressed with whip in hand, oh what a sight to behold.
But the truth of the situation, had my blood now running cold.

I sat upon his rock, and watched as he walked away.
Knowing until he returned, right here I was going to stay.

I walked up the path and opened the gate to that cursed abode
I trusted my love with the Morningstar because it was my heart I trusted her to hold

I fought my way through his castle defeating everything, zombies, demons even death
Like my ancestors before me I would fight on until my last breath

Finally atop the ancient staircase stood the evil count himself,
I didn't even bother sneaking in because i grew tired of stealth,

In a battle that raged many hours as the night went on,
I choked and beheaded him with the vampire killer, and after that he disappeared into the great beyond,

Triumphant I returned to my beloved and I noticed it began to rain
It felt like my ancestors we're celebrating and their tears were of joy instead of pain

Rain washed down my cheeks, chasing the tears that fell.
My beloved topped the crest, and he was hurt, I could tell.

I ran up to greet him, my aid I lovingly did give.
Many thanks I gave to god, for letting my heart to live.

I took him to my home, and took care of his every need.
Cleaning up his angry wounds and cooking rabbit for me to feed.

Sleep overtook him, the stew I stew I left to simmer.
Holding his I hand I to slept, as the day light began to dimmer.

I walked home with my beloved and fell into a deep slumber
While I was unconscious my every need and wound she treated as if a spell she was under.

I began to stir as I smelled food, rabbit stew if I had to guess
Having known my beloved's passion, I knew it was made with love, the best

The moon rose and than it fell, I watched my lover sleep.
I saw when he began to stir and with joy I did weep.

I changed his bandages, and feed him with every kiss.
He ate the whole bowl and my heart was full of bliss.

My love would live,
my curse was now broken.
All because of a kind hello and names that were softly spoken.

My wish came to true and love I did find.
Our two souls now made one, forever intertwined.

I looked at my love and saw the passion in her eyes, I pulled her close to me, I missed her so last night,

I kissed her with all the love I could muster I stared into those deep blue eyes
I made sure that because I had come back she would never have to cry

I kissed my love, my own, he was truly my handsome hero.
I could no longer hold it in," I love you Nero."

My heart swimming in my eyes, I put my hand upon his cheek.
The love that I could see, made my bones melt and my knees weak.

Finally I could live,
my heart now had a home.
This man that is before me, I can claim as my very own.

I smiled in my beloveds face, I kissed her again and said I'll always love you
I don't know how fortunate I had to have been
But ill make sure to keep you happy, more so than you have ever been

Forever happy I shall be, with you by my side.
No longer shall I feel pain, no more will I have hide.

Shunned by the village, as the one who was chosen.
But now from the darkest pit, the sun has finally rosen.

To you my love, I give my heart.
Forever together,
never shall we part

I smiled wryly and began to gently rub her soft curvy body
I didn't think it strange at all she began acting so oddly

As we laid together in the sunrise I whispered "darling, shall we make love again?"

I raise my head to meet his eyes and knew he wanted me to.
" Are you sure my love, it won't end up hurting you."

To hurt him now, I just could never forgive.
I shall never cause him pain, as long as we both shall live.

But oh how I wanted him, my body began to ache.
I pray he was well enough, so me he would be able to take.

I said no matter how much pain I'm in I'll always make time for you
Just be gentle with me beloved, I'm healing now thanks to you

I kissed him tenderly, giving my promise and my vow.
"I shall love you tenderly, no pain will I cause u now."

I kissed my way down his neck and licked down his chest.
I leaned just a little bit so his hairs could tease my breast.

Lower I did go, my mouth hungry for more. As I reached my goal, my heart began to soar.

I placed myself between his legs, and licked my luscious lips.
I put my mouth to his shaft and my hands upon his hips.

I took him inside and his taste danced on my tongue.
If I could but sing my joy I would have sung.

As I bathed him with silken warmth, I started to ride his leg.
The feel of him inside my mouth had my core starting to beg.

I felt almost ecstatic
Making love to Aurora again
After battling my way through hell and high water
I couldn't wait to be with her again
My toes curled up in excitement my muscles still somewhat sore,
I stared into those deep blue eyes, my eyes begging for more

I teased him just a little bit, my tongue licking up and down.
I had to taste his lovely ***** so cute and bouncy round.

I slide up his body and slowly slipped him inside.
I softly rocked my hips as I began my loving ride.

I moaned deep in my throat and he filled deep within.
If this was being wanton than I bask in glorious sin.

I laid back and watch this beautiful woman transform into a goddess of desire
I could see why the night we first met was ablaze with this passionate fire,

My spine shot up and down I quivered with ecstasy
I held on to my love tightly
So I could love every inch of her body

Quivering with such delight, I placed his hands on my breast.
I left my hands ontop of his, as he fondled and caressed.

I gave him my body, I will even give him my life.
My only one true desire now, was to become his loving wife.

I looked deep into his eyes, and drowned within his soul.
My body felt on fire and my flame did dance and glow.

Pleasure overtook me, I began to scream his name.
My sheath tightened around him and my essence began to rain.

I felt her sweet love juices
Spill onto me with such extremity
I'd been traveling around for quite some time so I knew the perfect remedy
"Beloved lay down beside me I want to try something new"
I winked at her because she had no idea what I planned to do

I kissed my beloved down her body caressing from place to place
My eyes were almost drunken from her intoxicating face

I arrived at her woman cup so soft wet and warm
I began to drink deeply, taking in all of her love juices like coffee at dawn

Griping the sheets within my hand, I bite into my lips.
The shock and surprise had u rising up my hips.

I gave a womanly growl, as my hands than griped his hair.
I was so enchanted with the sight, I could do aught but stare.

Him between my legs, his tongue licking at my ****.
I knew that he could taste me, for I was extremely slick.

My essence flowed freely, and I was lost to the pleasure.
He treated me like I was his own special treasure.

I ate her like I was starving, Like her orifice contained the gift of life
I ****** and licked upon her
Desiring nothing but to make my beloved nothing less than my wife.

I drank my beloved's essence like I was mad with desire,
I got back up on my knees, and asked for what my beloved desired

My joy knew no bounds, as I could not believe my ears.
My wish was granted, I shed some happy tears.

I rose up to meet him, now we were eye to eye. I kissed him so hard and let out a contented sigh.

"Yes my love I would not want any other, my heart is in ur hands.
Were you go I go anywhere throughout the lands."

I wraped my arms around him and kissed him with all my heart.
He is my everything, right from the very start.

I kissed her beautiful lips and I slid myself back inside her again
The bed creaked and groaned as both myself and my wife moaned and I released deep inside my beloved again

I kissed my wife's rosy cheeks and kissed her lovely lips
"I love you so much aurora" her name felt soft like a willow in the wisp

I awoke to a sound of tapping, the teacher purple in the face.
This felt like a weird time and an even stranger place.

Ignoring the words, I turned my head to look and see.
And there was my dream man staring straight back at me.

I smiled a knowing smile, for I think he knew me to.
We both lived in the past and our love was not through.

He was calm, cool and relaxed
In his Papa's old forbidden barn
His eyes hid a lonely happiness
It was a quiet summer afternoon

At first he thought it was a man
But in the heat, he couldn't decide
And his young heart felt haunted
So from a distance he watched

Then, the clouds gathered
And a mighty storm brewed
Darkness slithered into the barn
Rife with the venom of uncertainty

And like the darkness , she crept in
Her eyes haunted by a strange fear
Danced about the old lonely barn
But not one glance fell on the boy

He watched her and her thoughts
Settle down in the hay and into sleep
The barn was now dark and quiet
With the exception of silent sobs

Then suddenly they stopped,
In his minds eye they dispersed
Like the dark stormy clouds, then
He slowly crept up to her

But before he could do the ritual
Strange fingers griped his hand
They had the terrifying grip of death
And death was a man!

You were a face of November
A face that burned through my mind
As I griped my phone with a shaky hand
And heavy defeat
I read our conversation
Splattered with the words
Of my most recent confession
And wondered
What I had said
To leave me
With wet hands
And another reminder
That I will never be good enough

There is a boy bathed by the light of the full moon
I wrote about it, then I burned it
Now.. sitting in the shade of the budding lime trees
I realize that which is once written..cannot be destroyed
An oddness is abroad I believe
An oddness that allows for the purchasing of warm apricot juice
An oddness that produces groundless but powerful fears
An oddness producing an impulse to run away
An oddness that weaves itself into a shape among the sultry and coagulated air
An oddness in the shape of a boy
Captured by the blue light of a full moon in the middle of the day
I shut my eyes but the vision flutters before me
As if it is impressed on tissue paper
Blown gently by a soft breeze
The boys face though beautiful is one made for derision
I think to myself..this can't be.. but alas it is
For when I now open my eyes the hallucination
For that's what I believe it to be
Still flutters before me as a candle flame flickers
My heart is beating in a wild desperation
I am about to scream
The mirage dissolves itself and the boy vanishes
The fear that has griped me evaporates
I put the whole episode down to the drinking
Of warm apricot juice on a very hot day
But am I wrong am I wrong...that would be an oddness

Prisms encased bare branches.
Tiny rainbows refracted on the asphalt.
Glass trees
and the golden pink sky
flying by.

You left.
You left me with the sun.
Then it left me too
so I fell as darkness fell.
My hands folded on my chest,
my body straight,
in the casket of my bed, veiled
with warm covers, I slept.

Rapid eyes reconstructed the sun,
painting on my eyelids.
Soft shaded grass beneath my soles,
from the shadow of my house,
That eclipsed the setting sun.
I made my way next door,
with bare feet, lead by my shadow.

I felt your presence.
Gran,
I felt your ghost in my dream.

You sat inside the kitchen,
center, by the table
looking adoringly at the family.
Everyone was laughing and talking.
They seemed to glow around you.

Mom tended to all the guests,
while my aunt made coffee.
There was little food,
little physical evidence of celebration.
Just the smell
of the bitter black beverage percolating,
and kids like firefly
lights, appearing and disappearing
from view as they played
between our legs.

I didn’t know how to say “bye” then,
with your frail chest heaving
and plastic tubes tangled around you.
Silence griped my throat
strangling my “Goodbye,
Gran”.

But, now, you were at the kitchen table,
from unknown horizons,
hugging me,
to give back the time
to speak more loudly without words
what I couldn’t before.

You waited till I had let you go
before making your rounds
to end the last farewell.

I followed you out
as you made your way through the garage
heading west past the blue stones
and the wall of evergreen.
I stopped you before you left the shade
into the golden pink light,
that fiery light,
and gave you another long hug,
and a kiss to take with you
as you evaporated in the glare.

You left as you did before,
Gran,
with the sun.

A dusty beam of light peeked
through a crack in the blinds
waking me;
my cheeks stuck to the wet pillow.
Gran, you always had a way of reminding me to wash my sheets.

I wonder sometimes
If you bother to
Look at me
On the social media plane
The only plane
We the world
Can only connect with
At this point.

In the midst of the quarantine
I start braiding my hair again while its wet
My skin tans
I try to get my eyes to feel less
Tired.
My mom and I box dyed my hair
I record the many big little
Moments
In my mind
In my heart
Thinking
For later use.

And I know in so many ways I'm so lucky
I know I'm so lucky.

I am aware of the parts
That do sting like a bee
And I recognized I betrayed myself again
For a moments time
I do allow myself to get wrapped up in the drama
Of what is and what is not
And fear the unknown
The queen of making grand plans
Fearing all the question marks
That now sing and echo my name
Our names
Louder than ever.

I suppose there is a tiny bit of comfort
In the fact theres no real reason to
Feel FOMO
Everyone sits on their couch
In their house
I ring the bells of the sun
I paddle and try to convince myself
To go on walk jogs
Because the truth is
I just haven't been feeling
Super so into myself
And what I'm capable of
Lately.

So tonight
I sit in bed
With a paper towel of pumpkin coffee cake
And a glass of cognac
My wet hair in short soft braids
My mind as always
Trickles and slips over to you
And I see you fading and becoming
More & more distant
Just like they always do in a break up
And I wonder if you think on me often too
If between the pressing of buttons
On screens, on video games
On the places you hide so well
If you hear my voice
See my name, you once spelled out so often
And remember the way I tried to love you best
Intimately
Quietly
And yet with such strength.

I've been seeing this quote a couple times now
And essentially it reads:
Someone can love the way you love them more than they actually love you
And I wonder if that was us
I wonder if that was you
I wonder if really
That was me.

Its been an interesting exercise
When I think back on all the insecurity, fear
The feeling of whether or not I was enough
How I worried and griped about it all
And I knew it a bit then
And I certainly can see it more clearly now
But I think if I switch those nouns
Well, we know the rest.

I'd been chasing boys like you since I was 13 years old
I wanted to date so far so outside so dark so deep
Outside of myself
So that I could feel more alive
So that I didn't have to face the truths of myself
So that I could settle and be the better half.

I don't think that will be my reality anymore
And I sometimes have wondered if I will live a life
Of experiencing a series of people
Rather than being able to just find and choose and be chosen
By just a one.

I suppose life can be whatever you want it to be
And you can make what you want happen
I've proven that again and again
And I do hope the flames within me can simmer down
To a soft strong burn
And that an equal soft strong burning flame
Can fabulously
Mightily
And without question
Or settling
Or the need to qualify and quantify and convince myself
Its right
Can find its way to me.

I wanted to undress you

I wanted you to crawl like a tigress
I wanted you to show me the danger

I wanted to *******
I wanted to see you dance in strawberry orchard

I wanted to here you moan
I wanted to see a red strawberry griped to your lips

I wanted to exchange vow of silence
I wanted to see you become buoyant

I wanted you to say '**** me more'
I wanted you to fill what words can not fill

I wanted to you be amoral over the codes
I wanted you to flourish like a red poppy

I wanted you to walk with me side by side
I wanted to teach you green, red and blue, black and white

I wanted the strawberry to remark our day
I wanted to see your smile and **** walk

I wanted you to be me
I wanted you to have big eyes

I wanted you
I wanted the whole you

© shanikayrs

The usual crew down at Mary's Cafe,
Slurping coffee over hash browns and eggs,
Weather too nice now for comments.

Bill clears his throat to say the grass is getting long,
And the pastor was out mowing yesterday.
"I tried to get my old Sears mower running,
But no go," he griped. "Took it to the shop."

Tom cleared his throat and looked at Bill.
We all knew what was coming.
Tom prides himself in handy manning,
And waxes on and on to us poor fools.
"Did you clean the plug?"
"Was your filter clean?"

Bill was in the hot seat now,
And we were being entertained.
"I checked 'em both, that wasn't it,"
Said Bill. "It don't make sense,
'Cause it was running
When I put it in the shed last fall!"

Tom chortled then, an expert in his glee...
"Well, then it's obvious, Bill!
If it was running when you put it in the shed,
It's out of gas!"

At that point, I burned my mouth,
Spit hot coffee on my food, and gasped for air.
I wouldn't miss these breakfasts for the world.

The letters coiled beneath her pleading tongue
Griped between the veins with cotton strings like a marionette
Hanging in mid air
Only settling in her nightly thoughts
Still and frozen.
Just as still as the silhouette of the painting
Concealing the montage of words
That one lived
She was silenced as they haunted her

The sound was deafening
The earth griped groaned and grumbled
Beneath their feet
Seconds of mobocracy

Followed by
An eerie silence of confusion
Shock and awe

The sun sat high unnerving
As the dust settled
Exposing the grotesque macabre
That is now their reality

Tear trickled traces speckled with blood seared
Upon muddled faces covered of soot
Stood surreal against the carnage
Unabled to grasp what has happened
Trudges about in symbiotic aloofness

Slowly a crescendo of wails
A wretched affair
Sliced into the mid day air
Sending chills to all within ear

Sirens heard from the distance
Approaches quickly
Adding to the cacophony of sound
An orchestra of pain
Reminiscent of
Dante's Inferno
Rock rescuers to the core

Bodies strewn and dispensed
Lie unrecognizable
Young and old alike
For death does not discriminate

As neighbors extend helping hands
Black and white
Slowly the healing begins
We can breathe again
Live again
Trust again
For surely hate cannot be
Allowed to win

The outpouring of support was astronomical
The love felt was undeniable
People say I'm ideological
But love conquers hate
And that's
Indisputable

Books of word in shaded writes not as other
Reading was penned. where wrote but black
Pages of nothing, words claustrophobic in tight
Proximity but never viewed on sights unseen
In either dusk or light. Gathered upon nameless
Shelves, dust gathered where words left unspoken.

Many fought the paradox of never reading these
Pages that pulsated In mystical thought.This library
Of books with neither word, but pages took the
Lives of many never a mark. But now their bones
Lie in waiting anticipation, now eyes hollow of
Needed words only grasping torn parchment.

Along she came silken gloves, garbs that cut upon
Fine curves, she walked with a look of cautious pleasure
As if  seeing but knowing what was beyond her sight.
Her only companion was a stick old yet shimmered
In a mirage of confusions light. For after she was beyond
Glares, her memory an afterimage upon others cares.

She had heard of this place of pages as dark as night,
Heeded upon thoughts of countless others who had
Pilgrimaged to this place, all faded from memories
Sight. "I wonder if a book can be read in darkness,
She sighed; and she came across this Old redwood
Door, in a redwood trunk as it stretched upon high.

Old door was neither of key or grip. She stood patiently
As rain shivered bones as night turned to day.
Thinking of how a door would be opened, Then a
Thought smiled upon her lips."Knock, Knock,
And that which was closed now let her in. The air
Smelt of old paper and the air was static and sweet.

She gathered her surroundings and where wood
Had greeted her, now there was but a view of the
Plentiful forest that stood outside. She reunited her
Thoughts of consumed panic and breathed.
Her stick she grasped and in words whispered, it
Shrunk to but a branch in griped tightly in her hand.

Noticing those that had stumbled or sneaked in this place.
Each a book or page in white closed palms, they were
Silent but told her stories of there fate. each page black
As if night had set upon them and sleep was like sinking
Sand drowning never to ever awake.

Once again words spoke upon a branch and light did  like
Firefly playing against this enlightened place. She scrolled
On pages of onyx black and where once a void of nothing
Her light gained access to the darkest palace and words
Shone in echo's of time. Bestowed on this beauty was
The key to words unspoken now glanced upon in sight.

"I will learn your words,
"Never revealing what others might,

The library now hidden, but a tree can be found in
This wood, and on certain nights fireflies dance around
It and play in moonlit fun. All the while a woman
Looks after words that heed great power. But in
The hands of light, words dance upon air into the night.

Being puny, young and too impatient to understand time would eventually change me, I sulked at the unfairness of the world.
He sensed I felt exactly what I was: a limp sapling too fragile and green to be allowed join the hunt of adventure with the older children.”Fetch me water from the well,” he said, more so a suggestion than a request.

Galloping to show my pace under his constant protective eyes, I reached the stone hemmed shaft.
Looping the rope through the eye of the weighted pail handle, I eagerly watched the vessel plummet into oblivion. Savouring the echoed dunk and gulp. The silent count to seven reverberated within.

Bracing myself in a determined stance. Straining against the initial load, I heaved. Hand griped over hand grip on the thick rough hemp cord. I allowed its slack to gather as it wished on the earth by the foot of the attached secure spike.

The last hoist was always the hardest for me. Trying as I could to avoid the bottom of the pail from striking the lip of the well. Swinging it clear, I untangled the umbilical cord. I carried the burden with dread. One arm was awkwardly angled for balance in case too much sloshed over the brim and soaked my feet, or worse, dampened my chances to prove my worth.

“Place it on the bench.” He nodded to the far end from where he sat as rigid and as tragic as a dense tree stump hinting at the might which he once was. Standing by his shoulder, I watched him overlap the flesh of his bog-wood tough hands into a cup. Without a flinch or goose-bump to note the coolness of the water, he sank his hands into the pail.

He slowly raised the basin of flesh. From the gathered pool minute drips seeped back into its source. He looked at me with his tricolour eyes of pitched pupils moated by iris of speckled cloudy blue in a sclera battlefield tinged with a sepia hue.”This is all I can lift. You’ve carried more than I one-handed.”

He sipped the last of the diminishing pool, only wasting the dampness of his fingers upon his woolen top. I followed his gaze to my own petal hands. I did not notice him leaving as I examined my palms in a new light.

The time for words had passed
I don't even remember
what was said.
Who said it?
Hold up, hold back,
too late now.

My weight holding him down.
His throat griped tightly between my hands.
My mind grasping blindly from the hate.
What now, what next,
I've crossed a line.

The hate that made a handle
of my opponent's larynx
is muddied.
Muddled with guilt but strengthened by fear.
Let go, let loose,
the fight has left him.

Yet still I hold,
fearing more the next opponent I face.

DO you feel it
the warmth of another
hands tightly griped
to my body
eyes like white sparkly diamonds
stared straight into minds
as if he could almost read my mind
he doesn't talk much
but i knew he felt
a burning sensation
we danced our dance
below the great moon
a peck closed lip touched
ohh i just relaised it was nothing but
a beautiful dream

The letters coiled beneath her pleading tongue
Griped between the veins with cotton strings like a marionette
Hanging in mid air
Only settling in her nightly thoughts
Still
And
Frozen
Motionless like the silhouette
Concealing a montage of words
That one lived
She was silenced as they haunted her

And when you raise that bottle to your worn, warped lips.
Do you see me?
And when your so ******* drunk you stumble and crumble to the floor.
Stop.
Do you see me?
When your vision blurs and your brain abducts your memories.
Do you still ******* see me?
At the end of the hallway scared half to death.
Blanket griped in my hand, tear filled eyes.
Do you see me there.
Do you see me through my heart break, Do you see me grow up and graduate, start smoking working a ******* minimum wage job trying to get my **** together when in reality I am falling apart because of you.
Do you ******* see
That the damage you do to yourself is damaging me.
All that poison that you inject into your blood stream turns into a tornado, breaking doors and beating wives. Your own flesh and blood becoming so ******* disgusted. They can't even look you in the eye?
You know who you don't see anymore
Do you know?
Under all that memory loss, Do you ******* remember?
You won't see, Oh you will not ******* see.
Me.

Firmly griped.
Griped
in what’s
around.
Griped
by the
code.
Where
we are.
Internal
instinct
gripping
what is done.
Programmed.
Coded for
function.
Controlled
by code.
Do what’s
done, coded
as such.
No way out!
No way
out of
determinism.
Predetermined
from the start.
Coded
from
inception.
Illusions.
Merry-go-round.
Everything
a merry-go-round.
Spinning.
Relentlessly
spinning.
Going nowhere,
simply in
circles
as designed.

i remember you
and that twinkle in your eye
the one that griped my heart so tight
on the day that you took flight

i remember it
like it was yesterday
that was when you went away
now here we are today

just the two of us
me and my lasting memory
if you think about it technically
with you, guess that makes three

which always seems to make me think
if in turn you remember me
and if you do, do you see
the fool in love i'll always be

As the clock of life tics the minute hand takes away from us,
Precious time in our lives just to see what were made of.
We live in a society that is always testing your nerves, through  situations and issues that challenge your courage.

It's hard to move forward when your griped by depression. It starts infecting your mind with hopeless feelings and self doubt. Some days you even feel like you cant cope, with all the depression and you start to think about letting go. Stress is common in life and staying focused is critical, to gain strength from your struggles and remain in control.

When life seems to hard, do you give up and forfeit the effort of trying, or put it all on the line? Does the fear of you failure bother you more than the fear of you dying? Hopefully so, we use fear to remind us, that our time here is short and our decisions define us!

A boy loves a girl
he knows this to be true
which is all the more important
because he doesn't know much else
at least for sure
but boy does he know love
it's simple really
he wondered what everyone griped about
but when he heard those words
the one saying a girl did not love him too
he was torn limb from limb
a boy woke in a hospital one day and hell the next
it's life with someone you love
but something much different without
so he would do his best to change her mind
and convince her to give him her remaining time.

I saw a ray of sunshine
She sung to me like I was the sun
Nestled within her arms of Autumn yet to chill
Sweet scent of lavender and mint as she exhaled
Silver strands of silk
Morning dew kisses
Her heartbeat still in my head
All I ever had needed

I saw a ray of sunshine
She seemed colder today
Yet the smile is what pushed me to rise
Higher, Higher
Until I needed to come back to their earth
So, we forgot the pain she felt
Ignored the way she griped my hand
The warmth still there
Still strong
It would be better in no time, right?

I saw a ray of sunshine
She slept at the cusp of the summer noon
Mouth wide open
Ready to say I was hers
That no one would ever be able to take me away
Alas, she said nothing
And yet, I understood

She broke a promise
Maybe once or twice
But it is forgiven
For the second was only the wind whispering to me
She wouldn't of known
The way she sighed sent chills down my back

I saw a ray of sunshine this morning
But it's not her
To be fair, I can still smell the lavender and mint
I can still hear her voice
Her heart
But this was not her
The arms that held our autumn dropped all the leaves
Dew dried from the drought
Yet they were all soaked from the salty rain

I remember when she was gone
The clouds must of taken her away
Not out of cruelty
Only to take away the ignored pain
I'm sorry for moving on
Before I could tell her that she was MY sun

Alas, she had already known
This always helps me stop
Remembering
That I was actually the light
She, the one who guided the way

That feel of crazed in love with you
griped my heart and i bought it
as honest as it could be bought.

Then love was redefined
and seen in a new light.

But the heat the blaze the wild
even if not love, cant just be denied.

First of all I think it's an appropriate song for these times.
Kind of semi-tragic bittersweet beauty goes on
Caused, I think, by just the people
I've griped about - countercultures, youth,
revolution, the cult of the hippie
and I think that's good
that we're getting a taste
of a bro-ken-heart-ed mel-o-dy
I remember I felt so bluesy
and sad when I listened to
when it first came out
when I was going through a hippie stage
as an adolescent -
Cheerios - honey - tea - coffee with Mom for breakfast - sunflower seeds,
a small pigtail, an earring, bell bottom
blue jeans - I had my mother hem 'em up for me
Oh, well, anyway, yeah, Sassy
Sarah Vaughn and her song
This generation just might be sarcastic
if they sing along and blurt it
out in their dialogue.
It could be that I'm fancying

By: Cedric McClester

I’m other-ized
And despised
By those I surmise
Who are none the wise
That what they are seeing
Is a fellow human being
And just that recognition
Could improve my condition

I’m vilified
And denied
When the system’s applied
Convicted before tried
So it’s easy to hate me
Or under rate me
What’s harder to do
Is to inflate me

I’m over hyped
And stereotyped
When certain folks griped
I’ve been prison striped
And not for nothing
Removed or forgotten
As a direct outgrowth
Sometimes I’m both

As you might have deduced
I’ve been reduced
Forced to ask what’s the use?
Told to vamoose
And it’s become clear
They’d like me to disappear
But despite what they’re praying
I declare that I’m staying











Cedric McClester,Copyright © 2018. All rights reserved.

I tried. I really did. I had the dream in my grasp:                                                           ­      
it was there for me to accomplish.                                                      ­
But I let go. Now it has withered away.                                    
Nothing mattered.          
But why? I did everything right.

Do not sulk in the corner, things will get better.                                                          ­                                               Try.                                                             ­                                             
Try again. Your long trek through  the dark tunnel will find a light.

"You're useless.  Why even try?                                                      
You'll just end up in the heap again."
So I try again…

Again.                                                   ­                                                 
God, why do you forsake me so? Why is my dream not meant to be true?                                                            ­                                    
Perhaps it is time to lay down my sword  and live the simple life.

No. Never accept it when the dark tells you to give up.                       
You have it in you. If you give up, that dream will forever be lost in the mists of time, never to be remembered.

Finally. I have done it.                                                              ­           
The many times I let go,                                                              ­         
this time I held it tight. I griped the edge of the cliff I would have fallen from, and now I have reached the top. Now my dreams are here.       

I know now: failure will always be with you, that parasite.          
But you have to fight it's influence.                                              
"You'll never succeed," it'll say.

But you're special.

Remember:

Try, fail, repeat: Success!

My own thoughts
Filling me, I founder
Pushing me backwards
They Hit me like a thunder

My own thoughts
Laid down on a pile
And I went their under
Griped me from my collar
Dragged me, I surrender

My own thoughts
Are getting ample thicker
Lightening up my darkness
Shining muddy flicker

My own thoughts
Planned my tiny murther
Heaved the ground bellow my feet
And i can fall no further