Being in a relationship can be so complicated.
I'd assume that's why I'm not in them most often.
But this boy was sweet, and I had liked him a bit.
So I gave it a go, even though I hadn't dated
he would be my first
And to be honest, I had no idea what I was doing.
What am I supposed to do, act, say?
And maybe I was the one who caused us to fall to ruin.
Maybe it was my lack of knowlege or experience
that led to our downfall.
You were fine. But I was not.
You wanted to hold hands, to hug, snuggle, and kiss.
I didn't feel so comfortable with all of those.
Although I liked talking to you
and i was so happy with you
i didn't feel it lasting
it didn't feel like you loved me whole
you were the only one to understand me
but my friends didn't let me love you
So then I had a thought,
It would only be logical to end this,
What was the point in continuing
if I knew it was inevitablly going to end.
my friend has often told me that
i'm the "emotionally attached" one.
i rely on my feelings.
and i think there is truth to that.
and i felt this slowly ending
it wasn't going to last
maybe that was my fault though
So I ended it. And i asked to still be friends.
That's fine with me. Friends is good.
But I've noticed since then,
you haven't paid me no mind.
Haven't talked to me in particular,
or directly to me at all.
I saw you, but you were distant. You still are.
You talked with any girl but me.
And it's hard to just suddenly get used to that.
One day we talked before and after school
during every single class
You always made the effort to talk to me,
to hold me
to hug me
to comfort me
you knew when i wasn't okay
or when i needed you
or when i lied saying i was "fine"
Then the next day, you were gone.
I knew you were there
i saw you every day
It's like the phrase "so close, yet so far away"
That seems the perfect description for it.
Because you were right there,
where I could walk up and talk to you,
but you turned around, and walked away.
I see you talk to others and I wonder,
Does he not miss me at all?
Am I so easy to replace with just another girl?
Do I hold no signifigance whatsoever?
And I begin to realize, I miss you.
I miss how large your hand was and
that it practically swallowed mine.
I miss being able to lean against you
and aimlessly doze off.
I miss your humor and the
small compliments you'd always give me.
No boy had ever spoke so sweetly to me before.
It's not that I feel we should get back together.
i'm over you
maybe i'd still come back to you?
i'm not quite sure
But I'm still not happy now that it ended,
and aprubtly at that.
I just wish you would talk to me.
Say something. Anything.
Walk next to me
just text me
make me feel like i'm something
rather than the girl who can be so easily replaced
Look into my eyes with yours,
as if you could speak that way.
I just wish you wouldn't ignore
my presence completely.
And it's now that I finally realize,
I took you for granted.