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Natalia Gancheva Aug 2018
I want to go away,
Go so far away
From all the drama, all the movies, all the scenes.
I'm getting tired of this.
I'm getting tired of the same exact ******* every single day.
I just want to take my time.
Take my time somewhere far, far away.

I know what you'll say.
"Don't go, I love you so much, you have to stay."
But... do you really mean it?
Do you still love me, when I'm sitting alone at the cafeteria, eating silently my lunch.
Do you still love me, when I'm home alone trying to distract myself from my own.

The answer is no.
Right?
What, Isn't my answer correct?
Or am I missing some details which I don't want to admit
Just to be the victim in all of this?
Feel free to fill me in.

If you have nothing to say -
don't make me stay.
Because I just want to be away.
Away - for my fresh start.
Because I'm tired...
I'm FUCKUNG TIRED OF ALL THIS ****.
I'm tired of all the lies you say,
I'm tired of all the words that I left unsaid
I'm tired of waking every morning,
Pretending to be OK.

Now I'm in the bathroom,
water running down my cheeks,
making my tears blend with it.
I'm tired...
... but I'm OK...

I'll wake up tomorrow as if nothing have happened today.
I'll wake up tomorrow, putting that fake smile on my face again.

Yes, I'm friendly.
Yes, I'm kind.
Yes, I'm happy, yes I'll do you a favour, yes I'm smiling
YES...
I am...
I'm tired if this.
Pretending to be all good to everyone,
Trying not to upset them,
Trying to help them,
Trying to comfort them
And then what?!

They still go talk behind your back remembering that time,
That one time you wanted to help YOURSELF and not them.
Wanting all from you
And never really turned back the favour.
They even stop asking for it.
You just give it to them
Because you're scared, that in the end of the day
you'll end up alone,
Crawling in your bed,
Hiding from the world,
Cause you feel ashamed.

This is why I want to get away.
From all the people whom I used to call "friends"
I want to scream,
I want to sing,
I want to fly,
I want to break free.

The first step to my dream is to get away...
Get far, far away, where there's only me.
Kwanele Jun 2017
When i think of you i think of the silenced voices in my head
When i think of you i think of the silenced tremors underneath my skin
When i think of you i think of steady hands my steady hands
When i think of you i am okay
But right now i can't
When i think of you the voices ask about you
When i think of you the tremors become a little too much
When i think of you my hands shake
When i think of you i really fuckung think of you
When i think of you i hurt myself
When I think of you i don't know how to be strong for me
When i think of you i lose all sense of me
When i think of you i think of you
When i think of you i think of you
When i think of you i only think of you
When i think of you i forget about me
When i think of you i forget that I am in control of me
When i think of you i forget everything
When i think of you i forget

— The End —