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Know where
There is absolutely know where I can go
Without you following me
Without you watching me
I'm never ******* good enough you *****
You want to see everything I do
*******
You want to know everything I think
Get the **** away you ******* *******
Privacy is not it your vocabulary
GET A ******* DICTIONARY

Anything I say
Is wrong
Whatever I do
Is wrong
You want my grades up
But you don't want me to study
You want me to talk more
But only when you feel like listening
You want me to spend time with you
But when I do
You call me selfish, self-centered and lazy
So I stay in my room
And you say I'm isolating my self

You want to know everything I
Post
Tweet
Write
Say
And do
You say it your right
WELL *****
I HAVE RIGHTS TOO

You tell me
I don't have to say 'I love you'
To people I don't love
And yet
You force me to say it to you
Telling me that I in fact DO love you
***** when did I tell you that?

You tell me I can make my own decisions
Do what I want
Because its my own life
But you seem more interested in it
Than I am

I just want you to leave me the **** alone
Please
You create so much pain in my life
And you will forever create more

You don't need to know everything
You CAN'T know everything
And I swear to whatever ******* ****** *** god you believe in
You won't ever know everything
Not really a poem, more of an indirect to a real pain in the ***
Redshift Mar 2013
"yeah i had a good break...was smashed the whole week...apparently i ****** on some dude's xbox"
"yeah mine does that too. they were ******* so hard the bed was squeaking"
"*** there she is! the one with the ears....hah check the sneakers! who the **** does she think she is"
"i'm glad my hair doesn't look like that"
"i think i was *****"
"did you get it in, man? hahahhh"
"it's cuz his **** is smaller than his brain"
"got a D...i'mma go shoot myself. i ******* hate this lady"
"hah! I like HER skirt. notttt! what the ****, she looks like a hippo"
"yeah we're kind of a thing now. he texts me like, 24/7...my parents were so ****** over break"
"oh my god i have this test in an hour...i was way too ****** last night to study"
"wow i didn't get **** on my midterms, hello mcdonald's"
"*******"
"hey *****, you're lookin' ******"
"check my ***. good? good."
"yeaaahhh man! we make this punch...it's crazy. half a solo cup and you're gonneeee. tuesday, man. be there or be a little **** for the rest of your life, hahahhahh"
"duude we were dropping ecstasy like crazy! everything looked like pink marshmallow fluff...some poor ******* jumped off the garage roof, thought he could fly or some ****...you want some? i can get you some, bro. no prob."
"i couldn't even sleep last night, my roommate was banging her boyfriend and the moaning was sicking me out"
"yeah bathsalts are some ****...my cousin tried to rip out his kid's eyeball one time...it was ******* hilarious"
"did you get in her pants?"
"homerun?"
"i was so drunk man, i don't remember anythingggg hahahhhh"
"honey...i was drunk. i don't even remember sleeping with her, you can't blame me"
"i was drunk...surprise buttsex!!"
"dude she had her hands in my pants for half of the class"
"can you believe she posted that? i mean come on"
"yeah! then write ***** on it!"
"hahah i wrote this note on her door with my number...saying that i was a lesbian and thought she was hot....then the ******* ****** called me and me and my roommates basically pranked **** out of her for like, two hours"
"dad, i know. i get it. yeah. yeah. ALRIGHT! i just need a couple hundred. i'll pay you back. it's just to help me get by. yeah, this one professor wants me to do some extra reading. i need it for a book..."
"yeah he likes you! he texted me! text him back. COME ON! i'm telling you...you're gonna end up 22 and STILL not have boyfriend. just do it already...jess!"
"yeah we didn't even have enough gas to get here. had to borrow money from my dad...ohmygodd...this app won't load..."
"it wasn't ****...it was more like...******* a dead fish...hahahhh!!!"


"i'm gonna fail"
"don't worry about it, it's the professor's fault. she's a ******."
Elana Jan 2014
Tell me you did not know
that you would tear the life out of me,
rip it to shreds piece by piece
before my very eyes
that your memory would claw at my lungs,
***** every gasp I tried to take,
and fill each breath with the taste of your skin
that you were the only one to see a light in me
and now I'm groping in the dark.
Alessander Jan 2017
I don’t want to know about your ex
Don’t want to know about your daddy
Or your ******* coworkers or customers
Or your catty friends

Stop

Tonight begins the future

Some believe a wall against your back
Creates desperation
But it can also spark urgency
Clear the phlegm of memory
It can  protect
Your vulnerabilities  
Focus your vision

When getting jumped
First thing you scan for is a car or wall
The fists and kicks might ****** down
From everywhere like stony blizzards
But the pain is peripheral
Not ethereal
You’ll have a chance to dodge and block

Stop

Tonight begins the future

A future empty of splinters/thorns/shards
Of muscle aches, fatigue, or tremors
Of gooey ***, tar heroine, clunky *****
Dismembered torsos, sliced ears, dangling eyes
Red **** and blacker kisses

In turn I won’t burden you
With my *******
Won’t convert you into an airport carousel
I won’t unload
My unkempt baggage
Upon your frail façade
Turning turning turning
In circles
As weary passengers shuffle
To and fro
Frantically
Beneath buzzing phosphorescent

Stop

Tonight begins the future

Open and free
Like air over mountains
Like clocks un-tocked
Like silence hovering around the corner
A seed buried in ****** soil
A dream light has yet to touch


*Tonight begins our future
Redshift Apr 2013
wow.
that was the wrong thing to say to me,
*******.
whining at me
and telling me to amuse you
because you're bored
is the last thing
you'd ever
want to say to me,
trust me.
that's the quickest way
of making sure
i will be no where in sight
when you come looking
i am not
a game
don't push me around
trying to feel out my buttons
i am not
a toy
to play with.

....you want something to play with?
play with yourself,
*******.
woolgather Apr 2018
And so I might've said
Goodbye a million times,

And so I might've sighed
And given up more than once.

And so I might've typed a lot,
Words that tell the truth,

None seen correctly
Always the spur of youth.

And so I might've said I'm done.
And so I might've lied.

And so I might've said I'm fine
Then cried a million times.

But I'm still here.
And I still ache.

And I still say so.
And I'm sorry.

And I can't put off
The urge to end

Because it's a part of me
That never makes me pretend

That even if I want others to live
I don't want to fend

And so I can't put off
The urge to end.

And so I say I'm sorry
Without an end
I don't even know where my mind has gone off to
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2016
it feels less pathological
writing about / in a family environment
when so many familial niches
basically **** up;
sounds a bit like: 'oh look 'ere,
'ere comes bozo the didgeridoo *******,
with stories swelling with
only a memory of a single night
in philadephia, all else a marathon
of egoism exploding spontaneously
just in order to keep it up,'
survive the competitive race of dying an
old man, and saying old age isn't
what the slavic maxim states -
starość nie radość (old age isn't happiness) -
seriously, if it was so much about ******
encounters, and cockerel cigars
with a reversal of mouths stuffing pretty
***** sunshine i'd tell you
that the worst combination of theory
came with freudian darwinism - the plague
paralleled with 20th century's dictatorial atheism.
LEARN TO PET ANIMALS BEFORE ATTEMPTING
TO RAISE CHILDREN BOZO!
Redshift Feb 2013
wow
ok
well
i guess
i'm not going to stick up for you anymore
you really gonna let some
*******
lightning-pole
stuck up their rear
*******
put me on blast
like that?
and not say anything?
all i've ever done
is take care of you
beat off the ****-heads
that tried to make fun of you
told you
how much i adored you
and you really just sat there
and let me deal with that
by myself?

i guess i
know better now.
have fun
beating off all those guys
i held at bay...
i can't believe i defended you....through everything
and this is how i'm
repaid.
Creep Mar 2015
Ignore the demons.
Remember that you did well,
Tell the demons to shut up.
You'rekayyou'reokayyou'reokay
Don't let anyone see you like this.
Plaster that smile
Be "happy."
Let the tears and blood fall in the showers
Let the freezing water mix with your warm tears,
Let the demons out of their cage.
Cause I'm not okay, I promise.
You couldve done better. Put more effort.
Stay up late. Study more.
Do so much more...
You're an idiot how did you even get into one of the schools?
Hah must have been a pity letter.
I ****.
I should've done better.
I could've done better.
That school? Seriously?
What are you, stupid?
Why, in fact I am.
My brain is mush and I didn't try hard enough to mold that stupid ******* into something comprehendable and usable.
Ishouldhaveishouldhaveishouldhave
****...
You are terrible and unusuable,
Nothing to those school,
Youre a ******* stupid ******* who is nothing.
Nothing worth looking at or inviting to a school.
A lil *******.

Go join the other pieces of **** over there,
Yeah?
I'm not okay (I promise)
By my chemical romance
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2016
when excavating demons you excessively salivate; and then become self-conscious asking for a hanky to sniff into.*

a simplicity of language
beckons death to be nearing -
and if not taking
then vainly empowering -
lost in a photograph,
to no of the two claims' avail -
no wolf ****** what the she
already does; oh come on,
here the man, here the Zeus ****?!
cos' that's what it loos like!
******* the **** of a cow to get the cool.
you missing a ******* from the Albert Hall?
huh?! ******? let me chisel one into
your ball-sack so i can feel the proper rattle.
Now picture this... I communed with chaos and conjured up an ancient conquistador by the name of Quetzalcoatl. He called me a chickenshit coward then grabbed me by my cranial consciousness container; and with a chiropractic crack, just like that, my chakras connected and I channeled the grizzled ghost of Ol' Ronnie Reagan. He gurgled a “Hello” and grumbled “Just Say No. Did you know my Nancy fancied ******* fantasies, and that bedlamite believed in astrology and necromancy? ***** better know, it's bros before hoes cuz this ghost with the most is about to get gangsta with my ***** Miki-G... Yo, Gorbachev, you old goblin goat, wipe off that **** stain on your head and tear down this muthafuckin wall.” After guzzling a gallon of ***** distilled through Vlad Putin's ego, he gave me a wink from a glowing goat eye of iris framed rectangle dark... then lowered his headgear and destroyed the blockade like a supernova midnight pool party for Gremlins and grenades. When the dust settled, everything was gone and all was right with the quarks and the gluons. The quasars aligned and spun in a symmetrical dance inducing a trance; showing me it was gonna be a great day here on the shores of Château de Event Horizon, my own private island. Where I will watch my goblin goats with genes of Gorbachev, graze the galactic grass while I wait for a companion to come. Another cynical cosmonaut to converse with through this and partake in this holy communion. Where neutron star wine made from the grapes grown on gamma rays represents the life force of beautiful bombshells of red, brunette, and blonde. Lust-laced blood we bathe and become baptized in; breathing from the baetyl of brume taking Big Bang **** hits of killer kush grown on Kepler 452. The haze making it hard to see, when we feast on the flesh force fed to each other; for we are the Gods creating our reality. Leading to a galactic gathering of groans from groins grinding in tune with the pulsar powered music called Love Lust and Longing. Our libidos sing the sine wave sounds and strum the string theory, for we are the Cosmic Conductors created from stardust now streaming the vibrations of this ****** symphony throughout the fabric of spacetime. Cosmological carnal knowledge collapsing and condensing, the coalescing creates pure light from new stars being born to illuminate the darkness dwelling within us all.
Bec Apr 2020
I’ve gotta find a way
To forget about the words
They fell out of your mouth
Now I’m shouting out
You’re so wrong about me
When you’re sipping your tea
You think you’re so much better
You can’t predict the weather
you tell me to wear a sweater
but I'm not cold
I break all the standard molds
I'm made of gold
I'm not sold
on your lies
they are covered in flies
and maggots
The unpredictable anomaly’s of my existence
Living each day in pretense
No one these days
Have any ******* common sense
this mainstream **** makes me cringe

Talentless nothingness
Disrupting my silence
It’s all the same just more drugs and violence

I want to live more spiritually
But my demons inside quietly creep
Convincing me that I am weak
I’m soo sick of being a ******* freak

Hearing voices means your crazy
If your scared to live
That means your lazy
I choose to live my life hazy
Because this pain you cause
Completely drains me

Do you know the difference between
Wrong and right
Just because its a law
Should you follow with blind sight
Really take a look at every law
Do they all make sense
You know ****** created laws
Laws that should make you cringe
These lawmakers have but one goal
to line thier pockets
And keep thier bank accounts full

If we are truly free
Then how come we can go to jail
If we smoke a little ****
This is obscene
Smokin a little **** has never hurt anyone
But it’s ok to go drink a 1/5th of *****
And **** someone with your car
Or get alcohol poisoning at you local bar
More people die due to alchhol each year
Than every illegal drug combined
So if you follow every law
You have no idea what’s right or wrong

Just sheep following sheep following
An orange idiot puppet
Being used by people with real power
Power most can’t even begin to comprehend
Our world is doomed because the world is 50% sheep, 49.5% other sheep and 0.5% woke( but the woke have been ****** with and suppressed and discredited and forced addictions and confusion and straight psychological torture through auditory, tactile, and visual hallucinations and beat down and used and stripped of any financial status so they can’t rise up and take down the evil powers that are in control of this world, keeping the sheep sheep and laughing at the rest of us as we trying to figure out some way to make life better but a couple ants against a bully with a magnifying glass,
The best way to put it is WE ARE ALL ******, see you back in hell(earth) after they **** us, use our soul however they please, give our soul amnesia and send us right back to hell(earth) just so we can do it all again. Oh and I’m 99% sure thier is no GOD and if there is he is either a sadistic ****, or he is both GOD and the devil so don’t ask him for help cause he doesn’t give a ****. Especially if you are me. I have only really asked for one thing from him. One thing that really isn’t that difficult. The one thing I want no need back In My life but god doesn’t ******* care and she is never coming back so I plan to live my days in a haze preparing for a short life and a quick death.)

I love you Michelle. Please come back, please
I made a mistake but we are human we make mistakes. Don’t throw away six years because of one mistake. I honestly don’t see a reason the live if I’m not with you. I don’t want to live if I’m not with you. Honestly the only thing that has kept me from slitting my wrists(the right way this time) is this little tiny bit of hope I will get you back. But with every passing day that hope is fleeting and death seems more and more likely my future than a future of a beautiful life with the only woman I have ever truly loved. Oh and one more thing, **** GOD **** the devil **** addiction **** temptations **** alcohol **** that orange ******* senile ******* we call president **** family who won’t believe you when you try to tell them your truth **** all the judgmental wealthy sheep who haven’t struggled a day in there life but think they have the right to look down on someone who wasn’t born rich and last but not least the biggest ******* of all, **** analytical skitzo aka Alex for literally every stupid thing you have done the biggest being losing Michelle. You had happiness in tour grasp and you pushed it away because you believe you don’t deserve to be happy subconsciously I guess. FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKFFUUUUUUCCKKFUCCKKFUCKKFUCK
****­IN **** FUCKBUCKET ******* FUCKSDOODLE DO **** NE AND ESPECIALLY ******* **** THIS WORK BECAUSE THE ***** OF THIS WORLD KEEP ******* UP AND MAKING ******* LIFE FOR EVERYONE ******* DOOMED. And all you ******* PANSIES out thier **** is just a ******* word, it hold no ******* power over you unless you let it ******* hold power over you. No one can make you feel only you control you. I obviously need to work on that a lot myself. Rant rant rant I bet none reads this whole thing.
IF YOU GET TO THE END PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THE COMMENTS THAT YOU READ IT ALL IM CURIOUS HOW MANY WILL ACTUALLY READ THIS WHOLE THING. Thank you very ******* much
Tom Shields Jul 2022
I apologize for what I'm about to say
if you're sensitive to language, I speak not with the intention to do harm
but to reflect pain.

Heavybag's fallen
knuckles only started to trickle with blood,
my new self-flagellation ritual interrupted
coitus, denied, the penultimate inspiration served
with every swing a flash of the past invoked
in my borderline personality crossing rage
bipolar seeming on a stable day, and I see
the nervous breakdown, these teachers
sanctuary for you, to me they say
**** yourself ******
hey, come over here and deal with this
dismissively
I keep my head down, a higher dose the next day
apathy, numb to stigmas, stigmata on my soul
martyrdom they beg of me
an inconvenience and how timely, they jokingly
say go on Tom, shoot up the school
**** yourself, you fat ******* ******
you *******, ******,
**** yourself ******,
I've been called that more times than my own name
by a long shot
all I ever wanted was to do what I was there for
then to not be there anymore
and I used to salivate as early as middle or intermediate school
at jumping off the roof, but I realized that it was too short a drop
so I recalculated, I decided on a ripcord, the train
**** yourself ******, if I do, that'd have been how I did
and I defied everyone by clinging to the only thing they couldn't take
they couldn't violate
and they did take and violate, they robbed my home,
I was beaten, *****, I keep it all bottled up
I couldn't tell anyone because all they'd say if they knew a boy ****** me was
**** yourself ******
so, I let him **** me several more times until I snapped
a tree branch over his throat
so, I clung to breath out of spite for all of them
and as soon as I could I committed their faces and names
to an infinite pit, I granted myself the greatest mercy of all
I let myself forget

Teachers never looked twice, if they did it was like
watching daytime television
no lesson plans, no structure, I remember them
sneering at me for being there, for being called names in their classroom
for being nervous, overweight, clumsy and awkward, uncomfortable
and scared, and then being mad at me when I skirted truancy laws
CPS, investigating me after my dad stopped beating me, when
I could've named a dozen houses where kids were still getting beat
and the **** cook's grandson who showed up late from the lab
and the drunks who showed up with the flasks, the rednecks with the tobacco dip ring in their pockets
I was so ****** on an overdosage of poison that it damaged my liver and I had to stop it
but that didn't change the reality I was supposed to ignore, I still saw it
in hindsight, I wish I was blinded, then I might have turned out alright
I know they'd probably just have led me to the tracks and left me there to **** myself
assisted suicide for the outsider, moved into town before they put up the first stoplight
but, sure, teachers do their job, if that means they said, just sit down shut up
watch a movie, play on your phone if you got one, do this quiz so I can say you did something
read a textbook, I don't give a ****, I'm gonna be over here and if you interrupt
**** yourself *******,
that's how it was, I never questioned it, because it always was like that
I never asked how it was elsewhere, I didn't think I'd live past 17
or past 18, or 21, or 25 or 27 so I'm really in uncharted waters now I'm almost 29
and no codependent relationship for me to abuse, just drugs

I talk to you
and you might think that means you, it doesn't
it means the paper, me and you
we've got our own thing, I don't need anybody else
this is what got me through
my first and only love, the thing that I lassoed my heart and identity to
that nobody else can take credit for giving me, I found it myself
dug it out of my skin and bone and muscle and sinew
and cultivated my own interests in it, forged every fiber of growth
over every year, every second every minute, I took the energy burning me up
every time I saw disdain, dismissive, disrespectful, belittling, hatred and inconvenience in someone's eyes
impatience for my still being here, still being alive, and I turned that into notebooks full of chicken scratch handwriting
my learning disabled hands could manage it, nobody gets to own this, not one lethargic **** teacher who didn't raise a finger to the board
when the kid whose dad owned the car dealership was running me down, or the football team, or the cheerleader was threatening to **** me
but when someone claimed the same on my name they sent me to the office and I had to sit there, knowing it was useless to protest
I did my ******* best, I never let these people make me violent,
when they wanted the worst of me, I wrote it down,
defied them to fight me, stayed silent and turned every
**** yourself ****** into a story, a poem, an idea, anything creative, just anything that was something
more than that repulsive reaction, get over yourself *******
I'll die when I'm good and ******* ready

Bag fell off, gloves off,
barely a trickle of blood,
barely a tickle
no air circulating, stagnant and stale in this summer heat
there's nothing on the table, but the dog could eat
hand yourself a victory, hand over fist pat on the back
and at this address leave defeat
I don't care, who wants what if anything
what you think, I don't want to know
just keep it to yourself, I don't care
just leave me alone, goodbye touring these last few walks
shaking fingers tenderly touch memory lane, caress the stalks
and with each punch I've thrown, exertion grunt and groan
I let spit fly through my teeth, a rabid dog beneath
biting, reminding, flashes, each landing blow, **** yourself
rooftop, train, pills, parking garage, gun
I hit him harder, harder and harder
tail between his legs, his carcass is thrown
standing, heaving, desperate fear, anger quivering in my eyes
I snap and snarl at this specter of myself, to just leave me alone
you don't have to be gone,
just be quiet, god help me, just shut your barking mouth
stomping the throat of this animal expelled,
I fall back into myself, an escalated conflict of spirit
elevated into frenzied panic, the need to hurt
without reason, I delve, don't make me remember
I seal them away, superstitious of their nameless, faceless
demonic hold, in jars in my head, these mentors, these helpers
teachers, there is hardly a worse word

I want to go away
to a quiet place
I want to become a quiet place
where I can let go of all the noise
and be quite okay
life does not excite me
I do not anticipate it
if all my life were writing, then maybe
but living alone is a task greater than this
and I do not know what I want, but more
more than the peace I've seen this can offer
so I search, in other places, finding myself
right
back
here
I want to be content, at peace
and so I write, I feed my spirit, body, heart and mind
but I am given to darkness, foreboding ominous evil
acts of malice and treachery, betrayal of the most intimate trust
and even the best efforts to keep myself leashed only serve as a noose to me
so I try to distance people, and isolate with the best intentions, finding myself
right
back
here
and sooner than later I will complete this tour,
say goodbye, this confessional, it is not poetry,
you do not understand that it is, expression is
and you can do it, let your red setter loose with wandering ennui
speak your displeasure with today, rewrite history, in your closing set
circle back around like those teardrop vultures over the mausoleum gallery
and come back to me, for I will be
write
back
here.
write
please read and enjoy

strong language warning
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2020
.no... i'm pretty sure, that prior to hearing... glitter's rock and roll part 2... oh sure... if any of these citations were my favorite... anything but the sound of a congregations of humming farts and echoes... the trusted: self-help guru mantras... the what ifs of what nots... and knots... period pieces of picked up... and all of which... no... not even :wumpscut: bunkertor 7 - vomito *****'s fall of an empire... what radio station are you listening to? the kind that might also play 13th floor elevators' you're gonna miss me... somehow they'll be playing the black angels' young men dead... well if there's a radio station that does that... i'm gonna do the next best thing to compensate the feminists burning their bras... i'll burn my ******* vinyls! but... i can't see that on the horizon: any time soon!

anything by frank zappa...
or... iggy pop...

           and out of the bag
those stand-out tracks...

           fat white family -
        whitest boy on the beach...

wolf alice - silk...

              slaves - cheer up london...

scot the braille-reader...
which could be a name for a band's
name...
more like scotty the whipped-lock
baron...
or just scotty the braille-reader...

redder meat than buffalo steak...
a streak of tartare...
bitten by a dozen...
by a dozen: and none of them
are mosquitos...

for all the whipped cream:
sacrilege of the sacred...
beelzebub the lord of the flies...
my debaser...
my rhythm guitar on
white stripes' seven nation army...
my: this whiskey bottle
just went to heaven...

ms. amber um-um and all
those leftover yummy-crumbs
and slurps of a slush-puppy
sequence...

nirvana and sonic youth:
our lady peace...

             obviously the pixies...
the people of the sticks...
       the lesser inquiring montage
of inquisitive bums...

the nuns of beirut...
         the kola-kool kids of sunday
school mandarin...

                that! john peel epitaph.

***** boots: ariel clean socks!

       mud! rummaging in...
clay and custardo: mantra of a north
korean commando!

small elephant! big mouse!

              mahler digs ****...
mozart only does marzipan oral!

well... if beelzebub is the lord of
**** happens...
jesus, oh hey-zeus and christian...
who's the lord of the mosquitos?
who needs as much blood
and doubly as much wine?

the real miracle came when:
he turned the water into wine...
apparently no miracle
when he turned wine into blood...
the miracle: i'm pretty sure...
he turned the water into wine...
but... never mind...
he's still the lord of the mosquitos...

sugar kane and ***** boots...
anything on in utero:
the lesser part of me is still
struggling with that whole:
in vitro...

               imagine the birth of
a vampire... a blood-clot pandemic...
a romance of vampire...
that ol' h.i.v. riddled drag queen...
the vampire is either...
is a vampire an anemic or...
a haemophiliac?

                     the bad blood: ministry...
fear factory: linchpin or
zero signal...

          KMFDM - juke joint jezebel...
'i'm am the city that will rise'...

                vex'd: citations of blade runner...
i want more... life... ******...
the good old days of donny the dub and stepper...
precarious strawberries...
better... precarious strawberry harvest!
nuance: all is pink...

       ha ha...
               i'm the madman and all i did:
please don't let the draconian hogs...
oh... look... youngsters on parole...
coughing into the faces of the elderly...
n.h.s. ambulances found with nails stuck
in tires... moving slower than...
slu------- -gs pour some salt on them...
watch them sizzle in the sun...
hell... find a toad... smear some lipstick
onto it... let's wait for the princess...
no princess in 10 minutes...
set the neon-green burp alight...

as i was told by two conspiring sadist
peform this torture chamber in
the open... their excuse was:
fairy tales are gay... none of them are true...
we'd much prefer to be told the mundane
truth first... to later find escape in daydreams
than be fed the worse kind of virus disease
with santa...
      
        i just wished they stayed on
the middle ground...
         if all the would be sadists could work
in meat-processing factories...
too cute to be a cat:
or a dog... a cow can't whimper from
both the pain of the pain inflicted
and all that heap of attaching points
of being your extension of it being petted...
you herd cows...
you herd sheep... you can't exactly herd
dogs...

  you can't exactly keep or put a leash
on a cat.. you shouldn't really put a dot
above an ıota... or ȷanıce...
ı'm pretty sure the full-stop declared ıt:
we would lıke the questıon mark (?)
and the exclamatıon mark (!) to keep their
dots...

then again... my delights galore...
seeing two sadist conspire...
they were quiet open about it...
smear some lipstick onto a frog...
and set it ablaze...

       i do wonder... do i have enough
metal-******* capacity to draw that one
out from my ******* of malnourished imagination
or whether: yes... this really happened...
and...

   i got away with: adam and the ants...
prince charming...

and some duran duran...
  and some the cure and some depeche mode...
and... she must be in her 40s... nearing her 50s...
and she would be an auntie for me...
and no...

     that (out of the ashes rmx) of type o negative's
blood and fire...
    less the bat-curse and more that
resurrected crow...
     of no -man suffix to give him a marvel:
mar-vel: marvelous-veal? entry...

traci lords - control
        sepultura - roots ****** roots...
    orbital - halcyon...
           faithless - woozy...
                     geezer - the invisible...
sister machine gun - burn...

             *****'s day out - what U see...

and everything, everything i might want
to hate about a milkman's son...

there's too much music to look-out
for any sort of in-crowd...
one mention of:
in the court of the crimson king...

sergei prokofiev: crusaders in pskov...
or... alexander nevsky - the battle of the ice...
holst: an ode to death...
               death that great *****-**** or something?

death that ******* into a tissue
and a baptism after and all prior:
on the throne of thrones and from that
the great debate: was it genocide
will it be ******...
eggs without yoke?
     is that the "debate"...
or is that: one poultry abortion a day...
keeps the cholesterol at bay...
and of course the apple...
to combat the dementia of:
never / not out of Eden...
with or without the hebrew poetic route
of congesting a period of time
to mark out: the better parts
of what's still memorable...
before the acid of humanity audacity
and outright stupidity...
  does the second half of the erosion...

foals' - my number...
           foster the people - sit next to me...
anything by: cage the elephant...

!!! - chk chk chk (strange weather, isn't it?) -
jump back...

the velvet underground -
all of tomorrow's parties...

kyuss - demon cleaner...
  
     just saying... it's hardly expected...
this is the sort of music i'd hear...
if i didn't collect records?
on a whim... this brvo delta d.j.: good yarn!
of whittle amsterdam would
somehow spin... a wooden shjip's:
flight?

        wow: oh wow now that's my first
summary of: really?!

the historical argument for the accelerated
whims of balding men
in the harems of sheikhs...
that they really are the ******* emblems
of horses but otherwise...
the castrated wind-sacks of *****
when it comes to pedigree cat or
dog breeders willing a monopoly...

some come with the gories: and ghost rider...
there's just too much and there's
also "too much"...
sputnik 'nick of time of the candy-floss
barbed wire when you just sat
through a sobering visit to the dentist...

you will count your pearls...
and that tongue...
that mollusk of yours...
  well: wriggle wiggle wriggle and high-brow
forward through...
to the base of the bull's eye...

because by then: counting to 1
is the only arithmetic that's worth anything...
the vice barons - fuzzy 'n' wild...

trevor something - into your heart...
ulver - utriese...
boy harsher - country girl EP...
primitive knot - ******* of brutalism...
years of denial -
film maker -
beat bizarre...

                   boris brejcha...
skip james - hard times killing floor blues...

spirit - the twelve dreams of dr. sardonicus...
never mind...
anything about vietnam...
c. c. r.: running through the jungle...

                    sam cooke and:
                             that knock-knock music...
heard once... never to be heard again...

pulp? this is *******... or we love life?
rammstein contra radiohead?
or is that all about elvis costello?
         tiresome the cool...
        but beyond reaching 70 and your language
is still as practical as everyday
of charles bukowski...
without any of those complications
of the comfort-riddled life...
which can always allow for an ink
and some... paper...
but then: what are guilty pleasures
by then?

        talking? thinking?
being the impractical dog-walking man?
oh god... i can think of being paid
to be a movie critic... or a restaurant
sabatouer... also a critic...
by now: as long as the hands are washed
that prepare any food...
is fine: oh a mighty O mighty fine by my
standards for identifying:
the universal / a franction of a billion
strong population sort of china-       man...

nothing smart about singing
about my initials...
m c e...               energy = mass x speed of
light squared...
so... what sort of equation has it at:
speed of light cubed?
there must be a speed of light cubed equation...
given light comes from stars...
and the stars aren't going anywhere:
apart from their usual disco orbit...
there must be a...
                                     space travelled...
time concerning = energy and...
something that invokes the speed of light cubed...
rather than squared... 2-dimensional...
there needs to be something concerning...
the nature of light in a 3-dimensional
posit... pivot...

               i am this far from wanting
any credentials to have to be psychopathic about
a heritage and a future that's a bit like
about that fortune and fame of the man:
not the buddha not the christ...
but the man who won the crown of king anon
when fermenting the clarity cocktail from
a bunch of near-rotting stalks of wheat
and getting drunk on rotting apples
borrowed from the mules and the bears...
that would stumble into their caves
and hug their shadows...

                       christopher young:
the hellraiser II: hellbound soundtrack...
or dead can dance: into the labyrinth...
or hammock's ketonic...
the full album through and through...

                        pulp that never became an oasis
or a blur...
as expected... winning... losing...
but somehow forever meshed into
the ongoing democratic fortune-wheel
spin-off... the minor influences congregation
dynamic... congesting the cogito...
          
                 wins! wins? a comment section...
the loser...
                  keeps on writing...
because... here's to elbow nudging...
   as the hands are riddled with hand-signs
for the deaf... and... that would truly be
the better part of anyone's guess...
        hallucinating braille come mid-air traction
of: things heard over a megaphone.

— The End —