”~Happy birthday to you ~”
“Go on, honey, make a wish!”
You close your eyes, your thoughts are tight.
Give it a second, for the voices to unwind.
Don’t get too comfy, but sit back tight.
Tense, emotionless, walls go up, prepare to fight
What could you wish for? What could it be?
Perhaps a new body, or un-broken eyes that see clearly?
Perhaps the willpower to fast longer, or to purge harder than normal,
Or maybe for the eating disorder to disappear,
But that would be too informal.
Only fifteen, but your thoughts are so mean.
I’m guessing your sixteenth won’t be so sweet.
Always shiver and feel cold, but for me, feel the heat.
I won’t let you off that easy,
so don’t keep your hopes up, sweet-pea.
If your family knew what you were thinking,
They would be horrified, that you’re mentally sinking.
Don’t you dream of shrinking?
Your mother probably thinks you’re wishing for something innocent, like happiness or peace.
Instead, a new shell to inhabit or the strength to not eat
Don’t you see, a simple wish is your reward?
Realistically, you should just wish to be in a morgue.
No more kissing boys or sneaking out late
No more dinner dates or birthday cake
No more dancing in your room, or eating ice cream
No more memorable laughs or sugar-sweet dreams
So, blow out the candles, honey, make a wish
Lick off the frosting, be sure to clean your dish,
Or your secret will be out, if you don’t finish
So, come on, birthday girl, give it a go
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them all know
Put on a show, don’t be exposed
I am your voice, but a friend or a foe?
“Did you make your wish, honey?”
Your eyes glisten with sadness.
“Yes, mommy, I did.” ~