I had had my worst best friend,
though my story didn't end,
but I had had my worst best friend....

The story began when facebook was growing its trend,
I striked an account and reqested her to be my frnd ,
That time something giggled my hand,
But i never knew i gonna have my worst best friend.....

Singing in loud,so that every person can hear me in croud,
I woke up from sleep and felt some proud,
that was just a dream that never gonna end,
But i never knew i gonna have my wrst bst frnd....

Thinking that life will be so easy as it never ends
but who ever knew i gonna have my worst best friend...
Suffering from bitter wounds,
I had many of my friends,
But the one made me special,
And that was just my worst best friend.....

Well...,,
Times gonna be the worst till the end,
As i am going to get so many of "soo called frnds"...
Though these issues are going to ruin me till the end,
But i had had my worst best friend

I know things will never change and memories never end
but at last this topic grew trend
that i had had my worst best friend,
had had my worst best friend.........

Sometimes i wnna write everything which i perceive but i don't know how can i make hard   portray of the very things which i feel. Sometimes  my inner core  fed up from this circle where i have a lot of familiars but actually not a single one. And i realize one thing which is that,

        " The time which we spend with Ourselves is more peaceful , sleepy and memorable then that which we spend with others in gossips".

I sometimes feel to make myself cut from this surrounding where when we need someone then there would be no one and when we need not a single one then there would be so many...

We all know that this world  is perishable but why we do not realize one center which is that

""" Feelings , Emotions,, Heart and Beats are not perishable."

A portion comes in the life when u wnna say a lot of words but u wish  all the feelings convey to that person without making a single utterance by u. This world is going on due to the dependence on one another. Every one needs someone may a frnd , a close frnd, age fellow or may be a would be..
          
Everyone should spend some time with herself or himself  bcz

"Alienation is the best frnd to make u realize whether  r u wrong or right"??.  

And in urdu register u may say

" Tunhai insaan ki islaa ka bhtreen zuriyaa r zindgi ki bhtreen saathi hai..q k y apko kbhi b tunha nhi chorti.."

Eish i see stars in the day  
moon in mid day. My frnd sometimes u a bad sometimes  u a gud to me


I give up  give up  marijane
you make  high like highest paid
president obama
i feel   so high  tht i could talk to GOD to came
u a not meant for the youth
one puff blowed my
head up

A letter to my best friend -

Dear Piu,

       I know we are not in touch anymore. Everyone is happy as they thought we parted our way but they can't able to understood our friendship. I always used to say our friendship didn't need any convo but now am writing this letter to you. Yeah I miss you a lot. Sometimes it feels like we lost our way someway. We lost ourselves. Without you I became all alone. I have lost myself somewhere. Our friendship is something that no one can define in words everyone do get jealous of our friendship. But then how we lost ourselves.How we do lost that cute,adorable friendship of our. It's easy to say we are not parted,  but somewhere I also know we love each other a lot Piu but then also somewhere we became as stranger. Today I got to write a letter for you and am writing all the emotions. I love you a lot but you know what I also have tried to be connected to you to be in touch. But you got that much busy that you don't have time to talk with me and you have forgotten my birthday also. Nevertheless if I forget all that but whenever I call you on your birthday you always said thanks but am busy call you letter. I have lost the beautiful friend of mine who have given me another life. I was the person who always got angry and you always consoled me. But after being parted I tried very hard. I never got angry not even have said my pain to you like before but then also if lost you. Here I want to express all my pain and agony to you that now also I do miss you a lot and love you a lot. But don't know where to again find that frnd of mine whom I lost in this big world. Please I am requesting I will never get angry on you, never irritate you and never complain you about anything but plz give me my Piu back plz. I can't able to live without her. I am suffocating without you my darling plz come back.

                       From,
                            Your Aku

Sajjan adeeb da song
Cheta tera
Aj repeat te chlea sara din
Sala ena rona aya
Ki krke rakh dita he?

Bhenchod zindagi khrab ** *** he
Meri frnd naal gal chal rahi c
Kripa nam he usda
Usde samne bi roi gea me
Phone te c usde naal
Oh bi ron lag *** menu ronda sun ke phon te

Yaar heena, kidda zigra he tera
Metho eh time kadea ni ja reha
Te tuci es time wicho kiwe nikal
Gaye
Menu pata eh sab tuci bi face kita he
Tuci bi ewe hi roye hone
But sach kaha meri fati hoi he
Hell wali fati hoi a

Faad ke rakh diti tuci meri
Baddua lag *** menu thuhadi

It's raining heavily
Golden pea is lonely

Once upon a time
A farmer harvested peas
There is a group of frnd
In the

You ******* asked me if I was okay.

You.

Not me.

You started it.

You typed those words, “Pinky promise… seriously asking… no jokes.”

I should’ve lied.
I should’ve said “I’m fine” like everyone else.
But no.
I trusted you.

And when I finally opened the door,
you left.
Like everyone else.
But worse—
you asked.

So I replied.

I told you everything.
I said I was scared.
That I felt like a ghost still bleeding in a world that stopped noticing.
That I felt like I should’ve died a long time ago
and everything after has just been borrowed pain.

And what did you do?

You read it.
You ******* read it.
Every letter, you said.
And you did nothing.

Not a word.
Just silence—again.

You say you love me like a brother—
Then why does it feel like I’m begging for scraps of your time?
Why does your silence hit harder than death threats ever did?

You knew I was sick.
You knew I had cancer.
You knew this could be my last year on Earth.
And you still chose silence.

That’s not the sad part, not that you ignored me.
But that you did it knowing it might be the last time I ever opened up.

You want me to forgive?
Sure. I’ve done that my whole life.
I forgave strangers for stepping on me.
Forgave friends for forgetting me.
Forgave a god who never listened.

I guess the real question is-
Forgiveness for what?
You never even admitted what you did.
You didn’t forget to reply.
You made a decision.

I gave you everything.
And you gave me “idk.”

You left
a dying man
on read.

What the **** is wrong with you?

You don’t get to play the “I care” card
when your caring looks like vanishing.

You don’t get to call me your best friend
and then sleep through my breakdown.

You weren’t just unavailable.
You were cruel.
And that’s not the worst part…

It’s that You know me.
You know exactly how my brain works.
You know I spiral.
You know I overthink.
You know I read into every pause, every delay, every ******* reply—
and you still chose
to say nothing.

You let me talk to walls.
You let me beg the air for answers
while you sat there
knowing **** well
I was screaming inside.

You didn’t forget to reply.
You chose not to.

And then you said
“I’m sorry Charan”
like it was a favor.
Like I should bow
because the great Deekshitha
finally typed three words
after ignoring my pain
like it was spam.

And don’t tell me you’re “going through something.”
We’re all are going through something.
The difference is, I still ******* showed up for you.

Let me ask you this—

How many people in your life
have ever loved you the way I did?
Not romantically.
Not in some movie ****.

I noticed you.
When you were low and silent,
I wrote you things to lift you.
I gave you the words I never got.
I poured myself out

I saw through every mask you wore.
I knew when you were lying about being fine.
I read the tremble in your “okays”
and I replied.
Every. Single. Time.

I gave you validation when you didn’t even ask for it.
Wrote ******* essays just to remind you that you mattered.

And when it was my turn?
…….not even a ******* emoji.

This isn’t new.
I wrote you long-*** paragraphs before too—
not about me,
but about you.

I saw through your fake smiles.
So I sent oceans of validation,
words dipped in understanding,
proof that someone finally ******* saw you.
You read all of them too.
And again—no reply.

Just me and my thoughts echoing back in an empty thread,
me wondering what I did wrong,
me refreshing the chat like I wasn’t begging to matter.

Do you know what it does to a person
to give everything
and not even be worth a **** response?

Do you remember calling me your best-esttttttr friend?
Telling me I was irreplaceable?
Telling me I was the only one who understood you?

Then why was I the only one you chose not to answer?

You weaponized my empathy.
You knew I’d understand.
You knew I wouldn’t fight back.
You knew I’d say,
“It’s okay, I get it, she’s going through something.”

But you weren’t “going through something”
when you picked up that phone
to talk to your boyfriend
with me sitting right beside you
—waiting—
for the conversation you asked for.

You were fine enough to nap.
You were fine enough to smile.

But not fine enough
to give me ten ******* minutes
of dignity.

How dare you.

How dare you act confused about why I’m hurt.
How dare you act like everything is fine.
How dare you think “I’m sorry” is enough.

You think I care about apologies now?
You think I’m mad because of one reply?
No.

I’m wrecked
because this is a pattern.
A ******* cycle.

You ignored me two years ago.
Called me a “sidekick.”
Told your ex I was annoying af.
I still forgave you.

You ghosted me again.
I still stayed.
Still showed up.
Now I sit beside you every ******* day
like a dog waiting to be acknowledged.

And today, when you said “can we speak,”
and called your boyfriend instead.
And napped.
I felt humiliated.
Small.
Like a background character in your life
who somehow forgot his role
and started thinking he was important.

You know how that shattered what little belief I had
that I could ever matter to anyone?

I’m dying.
Literally.
And you still found a way to make me feel invisible.

….Not even a ******* thumbs up.
Not even a “hey, I read what you said and I don’t know what to say but I’m here.”
Nothing.

you didn’t just fail me as a friend.
You chose to.
you didn’t fail me.
You abandoned me.

And still, I’m the one who feels guilty.
Because I dared to hope
that the person I called my best friend
might give a single ****
about whether I lived
or died
inside.

But fine.
You don’t owe me your attention.
You don’t owe me your time.

But don’t lie to me with titles like “THE BEST-ESTTTTTTR FRND”
if you treat me like a bookmark you’ll never return to.

I loved you with the kind of honesty
most people will never understand.
And you loved me with the kind of silence
that should be illegal.

I gave you the kind of love
people write poems about.
You gave me
seen 5:43 PM.

And now I have to forgive you—again—
just to breathe.
Just to sleep.
Just to survive one more day without hating myself
for expecting something as simple as a reply.

I needed you.
More than anyone.
More than ever.

And you chose your ******* comfort over my collapse.

Tell your new boyfriend I’m annoying again.
Tell your friends I overthink everything.
Tell the world that I was just “too much.”

You said I made you uncomfortable.
And you know what?
You make me feel disposable.

You’ve made a pattern out of pretending to care.
And I made a habit of believing you.

But this time, I’m done.
Don’t apologize.
Explain.
Don’t call me your brother
and then ignore me.

If I meant anything
you would’ve replied
before it became convenient.

But I know now.
I finally know.

You were never going to fight for me.

…No more poems.
No more paragraphs.
No more hoping.

I finally heard you.
I heard your silence louder than I ever heard your voice.
And it screamed the truth:

You never really cared.
You just liked being cared for.