it's funny, because when you think about it there's nothing more valuable than your FreeTime
that being said i hope you can understand why i require so much me time
it could be the largest inconvenience in the world, tell me that you need me and i'll make a b line
if you want to move forward you can't fret about who or what you had to leave behind
time heals all wounds, so enjoy peace of mind in the fact that damage done will one day be fine
narcissistic, selfish, ego-maniac at best, that's how i have the audacity to ask if you'll be mine

The colder weather is approaching,
Funny how that indicates the withering of our love.
In summer, we blossomed, so happy;
In winter, we die under the cold and bitter winds.
Back in May, you celebrated my birthday with me,
We partied it up 'til dawn, but really . . .
We just watched Disney movies together,
But I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
In June, you held my hand and told me,
"We'll make it through."
In July, we kissed under the fireworks,
Held each other tight, and vowed to never let go.
In August, you told me that you loved me for the first time,
And for the first time, I said it back and meant it.
In September, senior year started, we didn't have much freetime-
We drifted apart, but stayed together.
In October, we reunited;
We played in leaf piles and watched the stars at night.
In November, we could feel the chill of the wind coming,
But we decided to savor what we could until it came.
December rolled around, you stayed with me 'til Christmas.
You came to my house and met my whole family.
We were happy, despite the bitter cold,
I thought that we might just make it through.
But then came January . . .
January was the worst.
Temperatures dipped into the negative range,
And so did our relationship.
You'd scream and yell at me,
I'd cower helplessly.
You told me you didn't love me,
And threw our love away.
With February approaching,
Valentine's Day will make me a bitter girl,
You promised you'd be my valentine,
But where are you now?
Are you holding hands with a new girl,
Who's eyes glint in the light better than mine?
Or are you laying in your bed,
Regretting what you did?
Regretting you left me, the one person who truly loved you?
I hug myself at night, assuring that I'm better off;
But I can't seem to convince myself,
I can't shake you off.
Even though I'm not over you,
When the spring comes back, I will not return to you.
If you can't stay with me through the bitterness,
You can't be with me during the beauty.

Though the days are now bygone
When we used to blabber on and on
When I used to sit in my balcony
And think about committing this felony
To be in love with this nightingale
So sweet was the voice of this female

And it went on and on
Until we lost control of our own
When the expectations rose to such a height
That we started to talk until midnight

I hardly used to hear her words
As I was lost in her chords
Because I have never saw a person so cloying
That to get her, I would keep myself ploying

Now I know, what was my fault
To bring on her and myself, such an assault
If I had the option, to do it all again
I still wonder, would I like to keep it sustain?

What I miss now most, is your gn and bye
And with equal amount, your hello and hi
Do you know, what I like to do in my freetime?
Is to think of all the things I would say to you, incase you had been mine

I know that, I have not been such a good a friend    
But I never expected things to come to such an end
I tried my best to let our relationship extend
But life had to take, some another bend

I no longer enjoy these winds and rain
Because you have left me insane
Pondering about, what you would be doing over there
But I do not call, thinking, who am I to interfere?

Was this just the play of time?
That you left me, suffering in this famine
And now you have become so distant
That to call me, you have become so reluctant?

You dont know, how I miss you now
As all I feel now, is this death so slow
Let me tell you, as we draw to this end so nigh
That your iloveyou to me , was so big a sigh
That you became, the ******* of my high.

I dream of walls of fire and ice.
I watch them clash and arrive awake drowning on acid in my throat.
I long for apotheosis
but just get ready for the fight.
We line up in neat rows
to take hit after hit
and smile gap-toothed grins
as we spit the blood on
the pavement at their feet.
Rubbing our gumlines
to feel for new absence we
move with practiced discipline
to the back of the line.
Maybe, just maybe,
if we sell more time we can
get struck once more today.
We cower and we wail
and every ******* morning
we're back in line for more.
We talk the talk about
using our sick and vacation days
and we aknowlede that he'll only
be this little once
and we sob and we break
and we queue so that we
can bleed.
During our freetime,
the great modern myth,
there are yards to mow
things to fix.
Here a new socket, spackle there
and so much shopping to do.
Errands before we can
finally get back in line
to fight.

On the horizon on some distant day
there will be death.
There will be sleep.
If we can find the time
to lay down.
If we can just survive long enough
to hear the bell.
To get to heaven, we're told
you gotta go through hell.

I've been letting these feelings of complacency linger for awhile now
avoiding the process of acknowledgement like it's an overused hobby in my freetime

and it's rare for me to act--
instead I diminish and allow myself to curl in on myself
rather than facing head-on the things I fear

I am weak like that--
weathered down by time like a stone in a creekbed until my sharp edges are smooth--
only good for skidding above the water and sinking down below--
my obtrusive nature nonexistent,
only useful to those searching for me

but I've been sitting here complacent--
letting the rushing of the currents wear me down,
and I find I am tired of it's constant freezing presence
sitting beneath the crystal waters--visible to those searching for my stone,
waiting for the helpful hand of someone brave enough to seek me out
waiting to fit perfectly in the palm of their hand

and maybe I'll find that I've found purpose again.