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ollie Feb 5
No one shares seats on the bus
Not since fourth grade
And I’m still trying to figure out if it’s because we want the room to ourselves
Or because too many of us still flinch when someone slides in next to us
It happened in the summer between fourth and fifth grade
And whatever it is, we don’t know
But no one shares seats on the bus
when i was in the fifth grade, it came out that a girl two grades below mine had been ***** by a boy in sixth grade. no one has shared seats on the bus since, even though this boy has long since been arrested since i reported him after i overheard him saying he had more planned for her the next year. that’s just the way it’s come to be
Mark Boschi Apr 3
i know him too well —
the sweaty palms
the wobbly knees
the trembling voice

he sits with me in therapy
scowls at me, clawing his nails into my arms
growls through gritted teeth:
“quit talking about me.”
and the floor tilts underneath.

i do not flinch/shrink/cower;
i remain firm/secure/composed
because now,
my tongue is an ammunition
i am no longer afraid to exhaust.
Day #4 of Escapril, prompt: anxiety.
Big Virge Aug 2016
Well ........
It seems it's ... OPEN SEASON ...
  
for ... MURDEROUS ... Policing ... !?!
  
NO MORE ...
will blacks take ... Beatings ... !!!
  
Police will leave us ... Bleeding ... !!!
while they ... KEEP ON ... receiving ...
PROTECTION ... for yes ... leaving ...
  
Blacks with ...
  
NO PULSE or ... FEELING ... !!!
In Fact ... NO LONGER ... Breathing.
  
and then .....
comes ... " Court Proceedings " ...
that leave black people ... " SEETHING " ... !!!!!!
  
Well fine it's ... OPEN SEASON ...
for poetry ... now ... Seeking .............................................................
  
Some TRUTH ...  
and less ... Deceiving ... !!!
  
See ....
I'm Incredibly ... not shocked ...
at how ... poor ... " Walter Scott " ...
  
got shot by ...
some ... white cop ...  
  
when Walter ... tried to run ...
from this ... Policeman ... **** ... !!!!!
  
But ......
before I ... move along ...
  
He may well have done wrong ... ?!?
but ... " Officer Slager " ...
Let Off ... EIGHT SHOTS ...
in ... Walters' BACK ... !?!!!? ...
  
Let me just .... " back track " .....
  
He shot ... " EIGHT TIMES " ...
Taking ... " HIS LIFE " ... !!!!! ...
  
Because .............
said ... SLAGER ...  
  
" He feared for his safety
because Mr. Scott, tried to
grab his Taser ! "
  
So ...  
That means ... WHAT ... ?!?
  
He ... Deserved to be shot ...
EIGHT TIMES ... in his ... BACK ... !?!!!?!
  
Maaaaannnnn ....
  
ENOUGH ... of this CRAP ... !!!!!
  
What kind of Policing ... ?!?
gives Policeman teachings ...
of ... SHOOT TO DEATH ... !!!!
  
Rather than ... " A Leg " ...
  
Shoot ... BOTH ...  
... if ya like ... !!!!!
  
But .....
ENOUGH ... of these vibes ...
where Black People ... DIE ... !!!!!!
  
Husbands and Wives ...
whose Fam' ... are told ... LIES ... !!!!!
about ... Cop ... HOMICIDES ... !!!!!!
  
So let me ...
  
Season and OPEN ........................................
how people are .... Bro Ken ...
and Blacks are just ... " Tokens "...
for them to be ... " Quoting " ...
all kinds of ... DUMB THINGS ... !!!!!!
  
About ...
  
... Po' Po' ...  
... Shootings ....
  
An ... Asian dude ...
who went to ... my school
posted ... one day ...
  
on my ...  
Facebook Page ...
  
"Blacks need to be wise
when police are in sight,
and not antagonise,
cos that's how they'll die !"
  
Yeah THIS ... Indian Guy ...
felt he had ... The Right ...
to tell me ... " Why " ...
Police TAKE ... Black Lives ... ?!!!?
  
cos' we ....
  
" DON'T ACT RIGHT !!! "
  
Well YEAH ... sometimes ....
but being ... SHOT TO DEATH ...
goes BEYOND .... NONSENSE ... !!!!!
  
but ......
Asians like ... HIM ...
Prove that being ... "submissive" ...
is how ... Most Choose ... to live ...
and how ... Most Seem ... to think ... !?!
  
How many ... Asian girls ...
and I ... DON'T MEAN ... Orientals ... !!!
  
have been ... " Experimental " ... ???
  
when it comes to ... Black Men ...
being in their worlds ...
as the ... FATHERS OF ...
  
..... Their Children ..... ?!?
  
It's CLEAR ....
from their ... " Caste System " ...
that ... Inter-Racial Teams ...
are .... Rarely EVER ... seen ... !!!
  
Unless their partner's ...
..... " White " ..... ?!?
  
Most Asians ....
Don't Trust ... blacks ...
and that is simply ... FACT ...
  
In Fact ...
Some do believe ...
that blacks are just ... MONKEYS ... ??!??
  
Check through their ... "History " ...
Such words ... AREN'T FALLACY ... !!!!!!!!!!
  
When we now ... " Greet Police " ...
  
Should blacks ... IMMEDIATELY ... ?
get down upon our knees ...
  
and BEG ... like ...
  
... " Slavery Scenes " ...
  
"Please *****', don't shoot me !"
  
which leads me to ...
... These Blacks ...
  
Whose uniform's now ...
.... " Packed " ....
  
to join these ...
... Police Klans ... !!!!!!!
  
What have they ... " Changed " ...
in ... Policing ways ... ?!!!? ...
  
" Not A Lot " ... !!!!!! ...
  
Ask ... " Walter Scott " ... ???
  
Well sadly now ...
  
You ... CAN'T DO THAT ... !!!!!!
  
because what is ... FOUL ...
is ... THIS HERE FACT ... !!!!!
  
while Walter died
and lied ... FACE FLAT ...
  
A cop who was ... BLACK ... !!!
seemed to search Mr. Scott ...
as if ... He'd ... STILL ATTACK ... ?!!!?
  
and then ...  
let this ... white cop ..
treat him ... LIKE HIS DOG .... !???!
  
I'm ...  
SICK ... of the ... CRAP ... !!!!!!
now coming from ... Blacks ... !!!!!!!
  
Will they wanna ... Shoot ME ... ?!?
for this ... REAL POETRY ... !?!
  
See it's been ...
  
..... OPEN SEASON .....
for ... QUITE SOME TIME ... !!!!! ...
  
cos' ....
Black folks be ... " submissive " ...
as if they'll face ... " A Lynching " ... !!!

for .. BREATHING ...
and NOT ... " Flinch-ing " ... !!!!!
  
when ... Po Po lights ...
Start .... Blinking .... !!!!!!!
  
which right now ...
gets me thinking ...
  
that ... " William Lynch " ...
is looking down and saying ...
  
"Look at these Black Clowns !"
  
Folks ....
This here ... AIN'T ...
  
" 12 Years A Slave " ...
  
This shooing happened ...
.... " YESTERDAY " .... !!!!!!!!
  
In ....  
South Carolina ....
where that PIG ...
has been ... Fired ... !!!
  
But ....
Without ... " The Footage " ...
would he still be out ... SHOOTING ... !!! ? !!!
  
See i'm ...  
a man of ... " Reason " ...
  
but right now ...
I'M SEETHING ... !!!!!
  
because ....
when it comes to ....
  
... KILLING BLACKS ...  
  
It's  .....
  
... STILL ...
..... CLEARLY .....
  
.... " Open Season " ....

Listen Here :

https://soundcloud.com/user-16569179/07-open-season
Certain poems speak for themselves, due to events that are as REAl, as they come .... I use the BLM moniker below, but, Do Black Lives REALLY Matter ... ??? beyond police actions .... ??? I prefer this tag #VerseThatMatters
B L Sep 2018
Devilish torment -- her body is my lament.
She crawls beneath the cracks and finds
The dark cellar my "worst" ferments.
She feeds it as it rots, just to make its wine more bitter...
Squeezed from the finest lies,
Designed to make an addict from a quitter.

Like a dark and tempting vacuum that my soul cannot escape,
Attractive in its repulsion,
Its a part of me that loves the way it hates.
Masturbatory and selfish, With a thirst that can't be quenched...
She finds the spots within me, that make even deities flinch.
Their knees crack and crumble, at its all-consuming "nothing"...
I never knew my zero could be so wholly unbecoming.

She, or it, will surely be my undoing.
Yet, somehow, that keeps me moving.
So uncomfortably I'll admit...
It's the brutal nature of it all,
That I find so disturbingly soothing.
Alyssa Underwood Jun 2016
Who believes what we’ve heard and seen?
    Who would have thought God’s saving power would look like this?
The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
    a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
    nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
    a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
    We looked down on him, thought he was ****.

But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
    our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
    that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
    that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
    Through his bruises we get healed.
We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost.
    We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong,
    on him, on him.

He was beaten, he was tortured,
    but he didn’t say a word.
Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered
    and like a sheep being sheared,
    he took it all in silence.
Justice miscarried, and he was led off—
    and did anyone really know what was happening?
He died without a thought for his own welfare,
    beaten ****** for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked,
    threw him in a grave with a rich man,
Even though he’d never hurt a soul
    or said one word that wasn’t true.
Still, it’s what God had in mind all along,
    to crush him with pain.
The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin
    so that he’d see life come from it—life, life, and more life.
    And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him.

Out of that terrible travail of soul,
    he’ll see that it’s worth it and be glad he did it.
Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant,
    will make many “righteous ones,”
    as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
Therefore I’ll reward him extravagantly—
    the best of everything, the highest honors—
Because he looked death in the face and didn’t flinch,
    because he embraced the company of the lowest.
He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many,
    he took up the cause of all the black sheep.


~ Eugene Peterson
~~~

"Who has believed our message
    and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
    and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

4 Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
    yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
    so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
    Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
    for the transgression of my people he was punished.
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
    and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
    nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
    and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
    and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After he has suffered,
    he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
    and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
    and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
    and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
    and made intercession for the transgressors."

~ Isaiah 53, New International Version

~~~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ47-KYUdpE
patty m Jun 2014
A nightmare whispers in my ear
sidles down, spreading wasp-like wings
as it hisses between pointy teeth
words of chaos and confusion.

Disturbing revelations
whirr, jitter, and chatter as I flinch.
Its consumptive rattle spraying spittle
emits a putrid scent reminiscent of rodent.

Milky blue and innocent eyed
yet dastardly depraved,
the imp reaches out
shivering with excitement,
ignoring my piteous complaint.

Oppressive gray skinned nightmare
barbed prehensile tail
your vicious stinger
breeds monsters.

Failing light
the fallen rain
congers danger
Between bouts of nausea
I watch him ******* breath from mewling infants,
opening plague tombs, unwinding sheets,
and I cringe with the fear of being buried alive.

Clinging to bones, scant hair on a withered head,
I cry burning tears,
my face seamed with scars.
Not dead yet, but powerless to refute him.

Leagues of the dead march by
rank after rank of their numbers
never staggering to an end,  

I try to rise, wheezing , tongue swelled over teeth
eyeballs bulging, as their footsteps grow louder.

Still I dangle chained to this moment
terrified ,
as nightmare rears its head
but even more frightened of dying.
Skaidrum Mar 2016
...

"This is a big dream, it may eat you up."
I do not flinch in the face of chaos.


(Forecasters)
I counted as seven gods
ascended the iodine skyline.
We all call them "misfortune in the flesh."
They waltz in pairs but the very last is a composer;
Seven deities promised the sun would catch scarlet fever.
We danced to the music to summon fate and disorder,
building a coffin in the middle of hungry waters,
The sun is our noble sacrifice in ruby robes;
So lets just hope the sea was starving for fire.

(Brew)
Metal ghosts slip among the sky
and lock like iron gates to form an army of grey.
The weight of sober clouds are intoxicated with turmoil,
Unbalanced weight, scales faltering, "no sudden moves please"
Obsidian giants collect the welkin until it boils over
the edges, the pillars, the cage
Why does the dark taste sweeter?

(Beautiful downfall)
The raindrops are ashamed
of the bitter liars we're all becoming;
We've succumbed to narcolepsy by the hand of water;
within the jaws of hurricanes we were consumed,
teeth formed by the angry fingers of the wind
thunder rejoicing as the land buckles down,
rain feasting on the earth in ecstasy
hail and rain are merciless foes
lightning still swinging,
morbidly screeching
chaotic smile,
a sword,
a single,
a cut.

Yes,
I am the one
(☔)
who fed the sky
my name.
...

I guess my only company that night
was the black umbrella.
It's kindness was it's very own ******,
and I have always known better.

© Copywrite Skaidrum
Sofia Von Sep 2012
You’re lost
I can’t find you anywhere
I listen for the sound of your foot steps
Your breath

Silence
Silence

Its getting late
I'm perspiring
I'm hoping you’ll be strong

Strong like how I am
Or maybe how I want to be

But you’re not
You know you’re not
You probably wouldn’t stand a chance

I run

Hiding in the bushes as the bright lights shine

I’m a crminal, I’m a criminal, I’m a criminal

I hear a rustle
Flinch
I hear a squeel
Frozen muscles
Is it you?
.
.
.
Im sprinting now
Home, home were you’ll be I know it
It has to be
I’m not worried everything’s fine

I don’t care who sees me now

I'll **** them up

I'm on a mission
I've gotta save her
I've gotta prove I'm fretting over nothing
Which is worse than fretting over something

Stomp stomp creek
Warm air
Familiar smell
No sound

I walk to the bathroom
It's nothing

To her
Slap
Caroline Feb 7
Perhaps I am a tease of some kind.
I think I like the power.
I like to make you wait;
The piercing pleasure of milking the nectar from the hours.

Sit in that chair with your blue jeans on,
White
Shirt
Barely
Tucked.
Place your hands down on your knees and attempt to
Catch
Your
Breath.

Look at me in this half-light glow;
Your eyes cut glass and fire.

Burn me with that desperate gaze;
Let it slice me like barbed wire.

Don't flinch at all,
Stay still and let me play.
I want to gently trace your muscles;
To track your tremors
As if
As if you were my favorite prey.

I am a devil in a nymph’s disguise.
I take pleasure in this hunger that we
Suffer;
Climbing slowly in your lap,
I need you to feel me shudder.

There is something holy in this craving;
Something beautiful that only
This restraint
Is making.

Rest with me here in this space of aching
And wait;
Wait within the slow rotation of
My hips.
Wait within the throbbing heartbeat of
My lips
Wait until the universe
Drips
With
Lust.

Then give it up,
Smash these tortuous walls,
Slay me
Slaughter me
Shred me

With

Your

Love.
What can I say, sometimes I'm a bad girl haha Sometimes I just have to explore those delicious realms that can exist within the intensity of two wildly connected spirits.
i feel completely exhausted
i lost the ability to relax
my jaw is always clenched
my muscles are always tense
my mind is always infested
nightmares are haunting my dreams
flashbacks of repressed memories are darkening my waking life
i jump at the drop of a hat
the slightest sudden unexpected sound makes me flinch
anxiety is plaguing my existance

06/03/2019
If she comes back
      I'll let her do her way  
          a crowd of beauty and potential
         she chose me to be her headache
im not much.. more likely too less
   for every drunk cries I make
Her sitting next to me without making        a single flinch killed me for not being her next
    She wanted love ,I gave her pain
          why does empty spaces hurt more than a room full of different faces
      In the end I only once knew
      to love a real woman hurts so bad to be true
LNMVDS Jan 2018
It’s been so long
The distance begs
To be traveled on
By weary legs
I rise again
But do not flinch
I cannot stand
To move an inch
Nothing waits
If I go back
I am too late
It’s time I lack
You made your choice
And I made mine
Quiet your voice
I think it’s time
I’ll give you up
You’ll let me go
Begin to cut
The ties we know
I’ve come not for
The love we shared
So wait no more
The end is here.
XX Nov 2018
loving you wasn't an innocent kind of love,
it was guilty and achy in a way that felt so good i couldn't even talk about it.
and when we finally decided it was time,
i lost my best friend.
i felt you forget me every evening before we became strangers
and i still wake up in tears in the middle of the night because in a dream, i remembered what it felt like when you held me

eventually, you become numb to the pain that is no longer constant
the feeling of nostalgia becomes muted by the louder sounds of life:
like the ringing alarm clock reminding you that you’ve still got a job to show up to,
like the radio announcer's voice telling you that we're expecting clear skies.
there are moments throughout the day when you forget to think about them, forget to stare at old pictures, forget to cry in bathroom at work
there are milestones that will take place and they won't show up;
like your graduation, or your brother's wedding
and you almost don't notice their absence.
almost.

you think you won't be able to go on without them,
but you do.
you find there are new songs stuck in your head, even if you never forget the lyrics to your old favourite one.
you learn to let go in small parts -
you hear his name and your body doesn't flinch,
you walk past the liquor aisle without thinking to pick up his favourite brand of whiskey.

and one day, without even realizing,
you notice how straight you stand without the weight of their world pushing down on your shoulders.
Jostin Mendez Mar 2018
I felt abandoned. I walked past you and felt pure hate.
Not once did you flinch when I screamed your name.
Did you leave because I wasnt enough? Or was it because I no longer matched the image of myself in your mind.
Teresa Garde Sep 2017
I am a ghost of myself
and you love every single piece of me
that used to exist

Maybe you stay
and you wait bedside
praying for me to wake up again

And maybe I stay
because you
are the only thing that makes me flinch anymore

I am a ghost of myself
and every morning I pray
that you leave my side

Because, I know, the piece that does exist
is not meant for you
To: My Gin
ryn Sep 2014
I have come humble to seek your knowledge
With exhausted feet and weighing burden, I bear my heart
I have travelled far to arrive at the world's edge
Ready to receive what wisdom you will impart

I'll set myself cross-legged on the opposite of you
I see you peering, examining my physical entirety
With one good eye, you gaze right through
Makes me uncomfortable, if I may... But I'll hold steady

I notice you muttering but no words could be heard
Your hands hovering over a glassy globe with an ominous glow
You turn to the left, as if conversing with an invisible third
Whispering secrets that I will never learn to know

Shifting your gaze now into the crystal orb
What do you see, Wise One, in that ball of yours
You shudder upon it's touch as though it's power you absorb
Tell me, Soothsayer... What lies for me in this course?

You swiftly pull your hands behind your back
I flinch with a start at your sudden display
You bring back your hands revealing cards out of a stack
You tremble in spasms, dropping the rest leaving one for play

The card you place face down, right in front of me
You motion for me to pick it up and flip it round
I see the card bore inscriptions and ancient runes, quizzically
You ****** the card and begin chanting in odd sounds

Reciting your incantations, in a tongue I do not understand
They sound like curses rather than the answers I seek
It all ends almost as soon as it started... I can't comprehend
You then place your warm palms gently touching my cheeks

Your features softened as you stared into my sullen eyes
A connection like eternity trapped within seconds never going astray
Then you turn away to fetch a bundle roped in knots and ties
You hand it to me hastily before ushering me on my way

I am now perplexed much... What does it show?
What did you see, what does my future hold?
Please enlighten me what you've come to know
From all of that, what could you have foretold?

Bundle in hand I turn to leave your rundown shanty
As I leave, you speak in your voice, different from before
Soft yet raspy you say, "Do not open till the end of journey"
"Open only when in house, behind closed door"


Moon is up illuminating, as I make my way up north
Armed in hand a strange, scented, ******* bundle
Leaving with the same questions with no answers, I amble forth
Wondering if in the bundle I may find the missing pieces of the puzzle...
If you like this, check out 'Dear Seeker'
xcvii Jan 2016
You see her one day and something's different. Every magazine is full of blank pages. Every billboard is empty. She is the only face you want to see and the only taste you need.

You touch her and her skin is soft like chocolate, but she melts. The verdict? Put away the candy jar. You diet for a year and nothing changes. She's still the only thing you want to make a mess of.

Six years later the realization comes- you were weak and she was there. It was only ever time and space that put you together. You spent every second of the past decade lying her into perfection until you believed every word. But the truth is, you were never happy, and neither was she.

The things that used to remind you of her don't anymore. You've been to New York City half a dozen times since then and never once did you think of her and flinch. Your body has purged her memory and so has your mind. You haven't associated her with Times Square in eons. There's ten years of nothingness between the Tuesday when you saw her and now. But nothing you say could change how that time passed or what it did to you.

And you repeat and repeat,
to yourself this time,
it should've been you.

.
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