(based on a true incident at Trubros Ltd., Kegworth - A "relief" lorry driver really did get well and truly lost)
It was on a Monday morning when the lorry left the yard
Mr. Waters was away that week – and things were getting hard
But Chris gave Glyn all the info and the route
was carefully planned
And in the Cargo’s cab the mobile phone was close to hand
It was on a Tuesday morning when the site staff called to say
They hadn’t seen the lorry yet, was it on the !!! way!
With Adrian away, things had gone from bad to worse
Was it a lorry on the way or a !!! funeral hearse!
It was on a Wednesday morning we called up 999
And a very nice policeman was soon upon the line
We said, we’re getting worried, our M.D.’s on some beach
And our Cargo must be with him, ‘cos it’s phone we canna reach!
It was on a Thursday morning that the coppers we did spy
1 horse, 6 cars, 10 tracker dogs and 12 choppers in the sky
The horseman said, “we got a little lost,
but Adrian stood a round or two
So, if we see your Cargo, we’ll try and get back to you”
It was on a Friday morning, when Kate Adey came in view
She’d interviewed our Adrian, and was told to see Chris. True
There’d been one call from Cairo, and a couple from Japan
And a little Chinese merchant said he’d seen Glyn in Taiwan
It was on a Saturday morning we saw Adrian on t.v.
He told how, from his hotel, he’d been forced to quickly flee
Since a Cargo, in the Foyer, had dumped its load of steel
And this funny looking stranger had been seated at the wheel!
It was on a Sunday morning an Ayatollah called to say
He’d turned at morn to Mecca, and was prone, about to pray
When a man in navy overalls, Trubros logo on his sleeve
Claimed he’d had a revelation and was ready to believe!
It was on the Monday morning, when the P.M.’s statement came
For this international incident Great Britain was not to blame
For a man in navy overalls had been seen to lead the coup
And Saddam was coming over here to sort out Mr. True!
just a bit of a fun from my past working days - As the Receptionist I was expected to re-direct lost drivers, including the company's own!!