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Amanda fancy Jul 2020
What now... I didn't die...
Just sitting inside my mind,
I died inside.
Hitting my blunt in what seemed to be a session of an endless cry, Instead of what I wish was an everlasting high.

He hurt me again.
Words more than any..
Swords stabbing me, it's TOO many.
More than fkn PLENTY.
Someone pass me the Henny.
Wish I would of only fell in love with the feti.

I snapped.
Not in half ....breaking fast.
In pieces, immediately I turned into ash, **** that, more like your favorite huge glass, mirror in a million pieces
Nothing but fkn GLASS.
He knew that was my vice, my devil in it's flask.

It was all too fast.

Might as well just put me in my newly givin cask...

I tried to grab his face with tears in my eyes...to beg to know how he could accuse me of going back to the drug that almost literally killed me inside. I wanted to just shake him....
anger filled me.
All bullshiiiii aside.
The drug that almost took me from my son. THAT killed me inside.

Instead my hands went for his throat Like a gun..just wanted him to dry up n shrivel as a dead flower does underneath the rising sun.
Riding the wave, I'm afloat, I am the black ****** goat, head over water let me fukn float.
Socks turning blue, will I really stay afloat?

I didn't even know I could cry like that anymore..didn't think I could feel that anger anymore...didnt know there was any left...guess some was kept.
Only I am left....
Alone, accused, abused by the words you don't wanna hear from the one person you thought was "it" for you.

My whole life I've had this bad habit of wanting to run ...
A GO GETTER.
I'm fearless..  but to run from my sorrow...possible, but
never.

I'm too clever.
Ready to make nobody my forever🖤

Lifes a lesson and I'm on the highest ****** level, for now I'll put away the shovel, won't stoop to that fkn level.

This feeling feels like home...
I wish my pain could come,
like phone ****** home..
sorry pain you can't come.

Let's go Zbby...
I think it's time to overcome.

I'm done. You know who you are..
You had your fun, now it's my turn to point my fkn 4000 Dolla gun.
#runnawaylove#deadeverywhere
#ifyoucanhearmeshoutatme
Neil Coleman Mar 28
Some are my
angels
Halo'd and winged

Others my
demons
Horned and singed

These words I speak of,
these ill-fated feti,
doomed remnants on the yellowed page.
Lie lonely,
and shawled

      found in attics and cobwebbed mem'ries long gone
      in scrapbooks and photos of loved ones moved on

Wicked words can devour
the feeble and weak
as they bump into walls in the night.
Sightless,
and hushed

Yet there was once a vision
They once had a voice
And I am not God.
The weak make their own choice
There's words that make the page, and then there's the "feeble and weak"
Ready or not,
Run up the spot,
Selling them blues,
Three dollars a pop.
killing the streets,
Stealing the block,
like it or not
This isnt the top
Been climbing alot
shooting the stars
watching them drop
if you dont got
then your holding them stocks
Market drops
Then your buying in flocks
this isnt a sign
this isnt a stop
Robinhood pushing your grind
polishing rocks
losing my mind
but I like it alot
smoking them trees
growing my crops
moving with ease
feti to shop was
3 days 3 nights 3 weeks
3 hots and a cot
more then you need
shooting them shots
concence or not
think im lying
better ask your pops
im that young *****
dreaming of hops
Gold filling my pots
stuffing my socks
polly poppins
pulling her hair.
snapping her locks
slapping her ***.
holding her houst
until she pays me my cash
I want all that it costs
to turn a skinny n* phat
to turn a loser n
*
Boss
im a dog Ruff
chasing them cats.
couldnt have fame
couldn't have rap
not in that order
now you know where im at
over the moon
under the maps
moments to soon
bullets will flash
drity spoons to consume
never told
never asked
I make it to hold
I make it to last
***** turned up
leaving faster then fast
leaving faster then trash
can't leave it behind
cant put it in the past
all these problems are mine
all these problems are facts
just look at my arms
just look at my tracks
needles to farm
needles to grasp
feelings bring harm
feelings to mask
calm before the storm
but all my vains collapsed
tears to conjor
tears to crash
living my life
better ask
drowning your soul
burning them traps
filling the mold
with lies, crys and cracks
couldnt convince the mass
now a life ends with a blast
like the deadliest catch
winning it all
or losing to craps
City of sin
monkey on your back
getting you for all you have
better walk away
majority attracts
crowds brings packs.
Holes to patch
doors never latched
pain brings laughs
like buggs bunny and Daph
ready for guns
ready for wrath  
light up the spot
spark up a match
bodies will drop
packing them straps
******* are foul
lratchet then ratch
holding them down
cooking  a batch
if you dont come around
wouldn't get attached
don't believe me now
just look at the stats
spiting them bars
laying those tracks

— The End —