"felo" poems
sleep now, my darling
it will be alright
you'll wake up in a land of butterflies and light
with no monsters to follow you
no need to rush through the night
just sleep now, my darling
don't bother to fight
Jan 31, 2018
Jan 31, 2018 at 7:55 PM UTC
*I lay, of my own volition, in a space meant for her:
a confined and achromatic scene.
My hands, malodorous, muddy and splintered,
leisurely rest on my chest, free from labor machines.
Here I rest, hackneyed and discouraged
in a pitifully human attempt to simulate death
I curse my virtue; it chastises back as it
mourns the curious exploitation of my health.
It was meant to last only a minute,
as sorrow chains my putrid despair in place.
Yet I, to this day, cannot begin to explain
how the darkness manifested itself a face.
I attempted to strike a movement but remained still
as the daemon began to smile.
The plan was to endure without oxygen for seconds,
yet the creature stayed my conscience for a while.
In a surprising and trepid consternation,
I find myself in service to mendicancy.
The creature, a devil with venetian red oculi,
salivates at its newest and prized delicacy.
I cry at the fleeting mastery of my faculty,
yet the tears remain inattentive and departed.
Time blesses the creature with a dominant sentence
as reality registers a dialog that I had started.
“Where is my daughter? I demand to know.”
The creature’s smile grows ever wider.
He then takes the form of the stuffed turtle toy
that used to sleep right beside her.
The creature, in a droning and unmelodious voice,
utters a perplexing, yet commanding noise:*
“ATIV ARETLA NI MAN ES ED OLEF”
*Frightened yet discouraged, I aim to find the sense
in the puzzling command the creature produced.
“She’s been missing for days! I need to know where she is!”
The beast speaks again, letting its anger loose:*
“FELO DE SE NAM IN ALTERA VITA!!”
*Suddenly, albeit boundlessly, the stillness was lifted,
and my structure was free from this tenebrous stead.
I raise myself and clasp at the summit’s precipice
after having danced with a beast in this wooden bed.
The vacant coffin remained pristine,
fitted with natural calico cotton lining.
The devil you fear the most is the one you create
and mine emerged with impeccable timing.
The creature’s malevolent ballad persistently tattles
as The Lapse rebroadcasts the “truth” it wanted to utter.
It had told me, “Become a felon of oneself,
and thine own life shall be traded for another.”
I refuse to concur with the creature’s decisiveness
as my unyielding faith will ensure my daughter’s return.
Her weighty and boundless absence must cease
and lead to the terminus of my inexhaustible concern.*
Jan 25, 2018
Jan 25, 2018 at 6:57 PM UTC
Because it's too sweet when things are going well, too painful when it's not.
The process makes development heavenly addicting; separation, a gateway to hell.
It's enlightening when you're hitting the high notes. Felo-de-se never became such an attractive propostion when you're missing it.
Call me crazy, but chivalry is embedded deep within my soul, I believe we should court this way. Whatever the outcome may be, go bloom and then wilt, rinse and repeat—better be a flower, than die a seedling.
I think it's the way people are supposed to love each other. You already feel the effects of it, consumed, drowning in it, before your heart even realizes it.
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015 at 8:39 AM UTC
I can't help myself.
Without effort
I will take it all to pieces. I'll show
you
Black ruin. The misery that picks
clean my. bones.
Self—destruction,
My whispered mantra
I will not be happy.
I will not be happy.
It's a divine sickness
Undenied. My ugliness
Is my shame.
Let me show you
The nothing I'm capable of.
Crawl towards the edge.
Step. Off.
Smile.
Jan 27, 2017
Jan 27, 2017 at 5:56 PM UTC
They always come in waves;
Kamikaze planes, or sweet berceuse
Felo de se, or euphoria.
Go up.
No, go down.
Ice, then fire
Then, chaos
Like a pendulum,
swinging madly across a spectrum.
Mar 24, 2017
Mar 24, 2017 at 5:51 AM UTC
rope tied on my neck
silver knife on my wrist
bottle of pills beside my feet
offer me a good night sleep
Mar 2, 2017
Mar 2, 2017 at 8:03 AM UTC