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kenye Jul 2013
Felicia,
I'm off my meds and I need you.

My mind is somewhere between 
rock bottom and a dark place

My mind is my frenemy
that I'm sleeping alone with. 

I feel more alone again.

Felicia,
If my minds the weapon
How to I get my heart 
to back me up?
Because it feels like 
it's set to self-destruction

my own prophecy self-fulfilled

Felicia,
How come I'll never get the time back I killed?

What about the madness 
and how it manifests 
into impulses?

Like biting my ******* lip.

and how come I imagine everyone naked still?

I feel like biting my tongue off
when it's freudian slipping
But I need that for the times
when these fantasies start projecting

Felicia,
I'm sorry for all those times I swore in your office.
I'm the impatient patient still locked in the waiting room of my mind

Waiting for the ******* world to fall in my lap. 

Felicia,
I'm ready to dig myself out of this bed I made in falling for tired cliches when all I needed was a metaphor.
unwritten Jan 2017
on tuesday,
dylann roof was sentenced to his death.
on tuesday we tried
to make one body feel like nine.
to make one body feel like justice.
on tuesday we said
there has got to be some price to pay
for entering the house of god
with a sinful tongue
and a handgun.

today,
six days later,
we remembered the rev. dr. martin luther king, jr.
we looked at the world,
called it a place with potential for change,
called it that because there has to be some softer way
to look at bloodshed,
for sanity’s sake.
if not then
all that remains is a solitary image of dr. king rolling in his grave because he knows,
knows that breathless black bodies
are a constant,
are transcenders of time,
whether sunken in rivers,
hung from taut ropes,
or bathing in blood on historic church floors,
singing, singing, screaming, shrill
for some messiah bringing mercy, mercy, mercy.

felicia sanders wants mercy:
prays for it, wills it down from up above,
unfolded from the hands of god
so that it might fall upon the head and in the eyes
and within the very being
of the man who killed her son.


it takes a certain grace —
one so foreign to me i can hardly write of it —
to see god in such men who deliberately defy Him,
to ask that heaven’s gates
be so indiscriminate and overt.
i would want him to burn for this.
but it is not my say,
not my life,
not my long, resounding, unflinching “hallelujah!”
not my certain type of grace.

breathless black bodies
are a constant,
are transcenders of time, a recurring motif.
but so too, then, is the black body full
of breath,
that inhales and exhales faith
without ceasing.

such is the black body
that sees a little bit of god in dylann roof,
that prays that he prays for forgiveness,
that thinks there to be but one kingdom,
and he, too,
a worthy subject.

the solitary image of dr. king rolling in his grave
is not a surprise.
the black body has always known
so well
how to die.

but felicia sanders hopes her son’s killer finds mercy.
perhaps the one thing the black body has always known better
is how to love.

(a.m.)
written 1.16.17 in honor of MLK day, and of the charleston church shooting victims. #blacklivesmatter, today, tomorrow, and always
Fel Apr 2014
I've always felt "too big."

I have never felt small.
Even when I was little
I was always fat.
I never remember
Being referred to as "little."
My brothers
They always called me fat
My friends, too
And I was always too tall
Just too big, in general
And I hated it
Still do
Cause all my friends,
They're ******* tiny
And they complain.
"Oh, this [insert name of clothing]
It makes me look fat."
Or
"I need to lose weight
I'm at 130 now."
Or the classic,
"My [insert body part] is too fat."
It makes me want to strangle them
Cause they have no idea
What it feels like
To have the only color you look good in
Be the color black
And be labled
As "gothic" or "emo"
Because you can only wear black.
They have no idea
What it feels like
To be anxious around scales
Or anything that has a weight limit
They have no ******* clue.
And my name?
I get called "****** Felicia"
Or
"Felicia the ******" sometimes
Cause of how big I am
And I ******* hate it!
No one knows
How much I hate myself
Because of my weight
And how insecure I am about how big I am
It is seriously why I wish I wasn't me
It makes me wish I was someone else
And it always has
Ever since I can remember,
I have always wanted to be littler
Skinnier.
Just anything
But "too big."
I just really hate my body sometimes.
Ryan Bowdish Jul 2013
Shannon, Mariah, Serena, Maria
Meridia, Midian, Sharon, Alliah
Rochelle, Camille, Rose, Halo
Trenna, Jessica, Ashley, Georgia
Marla, Olivia, Sofia, India
Daniella, Diana, Christina, Caroline
Isabella, Amelia, Amanda, Matilda
Nadine, Haley, Bailey, Francine
Eliza, Annabelle, Kathryn, Sandra
Melinda, Audrey, Aubrey, Emily
Tara, Emma, Ginny, Kathleen
Josephine, Helena, Charlotte, Laura
Chelsea, Arkady, Megan, Kelsey
Kayla, Karliah, Moana, Vivien
Kaysea, Macy, Stacy, Lorraine
Theresa, Felicia, Cecilia, Darlene
Holly, Brianna, Alexa, Ariel
Marianne, Miranda, Jennie, Coral
Korra, Daisy, Penelope, Rayne
Zoey, Cassandra, Grace, Stephanie
Female names are beautiful. Poetry on their own.
SP Blackwell Apr 2014
I am slowly drifting further from the unrealistic reality
that has been imposed on me by others.
The end was not cordial nor was it polite.
It was spattered with hate and rage
and malice and anger and loss but those are not mine.
The end for me was very matter of fact.
As if it never ended because it never started.
My end was casual highlighted with words like "k"
and corrections on his awful grammar and a nod
at my phone intended for him to see and the icy reply to a
one sided heated conversation that he was having with himself
because i never participated.
The tone of my indifference remains steady which is
what angers him most. I have been killed by far better men
than him. But they are cheap in a sense.
Cheap ***
Cheap words
Cheap rooms
Cheap emotions
Cheap lies
and even worse
Cheap truths.
And after all is said and done
Here you are in a sense getting
what you wanted.
A small piece of immortality in an
otherwise meaningless life.
But alas my dear, your name is not mentioned here.
And as I warned before,
You are just another line.
Another sentence which will be forgotten.
Sad isn't it?
Ironic
softcomponent Oct 2013
Anya is lying next to me like a dormant sheet. The bed wears her as unassorted dress and I sit perked to her right, righting?

Writing.

What I'm writing about is better left unsaid for the darling teens afraid of themselves and unable to psychoanalyze through their fancied word. I guess I am a little afraid of myself but I'm not afraid to admit it and, if you ask the state, I'm an adult now. No ******* darling teen so you can tag your assumptions at the front door.

Anya slept over here last night and it's almost like the last 2 days are some ecstatic, beautiful blur. I can prove to you my state of disbelief by describing my Freudian revelation of a dream.

We were all down at the theatre. There was some strange minor citadel at the top of good old 1913 where some slightly chubby early-20's daughter-of-a-railroad-man watched these strangely Shakespearean woes on the street below. A little bleak and depressing.

I assume we were here for a movie. It was me, Anya, Felicia, and Chris. I could tell Anya liked me but I wasn't sure how to present my VCR of a heart to her and ask for the chance. So I didn't say a word. Instead I tossed boomerang smiles as the daughter-of-a-railroad-man gawked at my progressively punctured lung 2-stories up. I started trying to talk to Felicia because she seemed familiar and more likely, but she was taking photos of smoke-stacks and materializing groups of people so she had no time to listen, and I woefully backed off with an 'I'll tell you later, I guess.'

Things moved quickly at that point and it was like jogging through a Philip K. **** novel. I'd waited too long and Chris had his arm around Anya. I then backed off assuming the worst and as soon as I woke up I realized the dream had revealed a legion of my insecurities all out on a drill away from the main barracks, ready to march closer-to or away from my field of battle *** it was a question of Ghandi or God now.

A battle on open fields? Or non-violent resistance?

The funnier part of waking up was that my dream had been profoundly upsetting and darkly self-fulfilling, but this time it was a dream and what I woke up to wasn't the neutral dune of the everyday life of distraction, but one of those profoundly holy literature’s of the past 2000 years.

I suppose the biggest revelation the dream gave was the observation of my never asserting myself, nor in pursuit. Just the head-tilt mope of a poet with a bleeding heart that not only denies the need for bandage, but keeps double checking the hole is big enough to bleed but small enough not to **** me.

Have you ever seen those kinds of cars that look like they have teeth and eyes and noses?
/ancient history\

/pseudonyms applied\
Giuseppe Stokes Feb 2018
Polly

Polly she was a psych major,
But minds she couldn't read. Page
her instead
with words in your stead.
And her beauty you'll get engage(r).


Courtney

Courtney and whiskey and game of thrones,
Tyrion's wisdom satsifies jones,
The dragon so epic,
But White Walker get it,
While visually feasting on bones.


Georgia

Georgia a mess,
White hair from the stress
Her beauty sublime
Pausing time no contest.


Rachel

Rachel abate chu,
you know that I couldn't
For weirdness is awesomeness; serene.
Now who wouldn't appreciate
deviate from our normality
Plus gin is for winning
a truth known unanimously.


Wilhelmine

Wilhelmine sublime in her majesty,
At the helm for intersectionality
Butler'd be proud
Preferred pronouns abound,
(And **** what kind of band are you rad in b?)


Selene

Selene full of sugar,
What music dya cover?
(I mean if it ain't free form jazz,
It can't lack razzmatazz)


Nassem

Nassem with beret and flowers,
Entrancing, enchanting for hours,
The men did all swoon
For no finer a tune,
Their blakcouts a sign of her powers.


Tanya

Tanya does shine,
and **** ya so fine,
Entwine our being
in blissful combine?


Denise

Denise pretty sweet ****** her thumb
the saliva like juices of plum
She'd still **** it now
If she'd stuck with the how
Instead all her coolness undone.


Kate

Kate so great,
And gin drink elate,
Dya wonder bowt cool stuff?
Or leave it to fate...


Felicia

Felicia appresh ur adventure (I do)
A coolness some people should start to accrue
It feels your speal will carry enjoyment
What spoils you foiled like Gandalf's endorsement?


Rachel

Rachel is boring?
A fact left adorning,
Conversations a **** up
For ****** who are stuck,
I'm sure you're a truth worth adoring


Ilydia

Ilydia sublime in all of her glory
But without a bio, she's lacking a story


Caoimhe

Caoimhe relieve ya with tales of Kirk
But Picard is the ****** she'd rather you ****,
A sailor mouthed hoodlum
beguiling with *****
that'd harbour a vegan inert ;) ;)


Annabel

Annabel, man her well
into her *******?
Sneaking round farmer's fields
down for some... snogging...


Kathrin

Kathrin, laughin with wind in her face,
Riding her gas powerer car every place,
Her lectures a feature of questions renowned,
Or else you can find her with face fraught (not sound!)


Gabby

Gabby her sense of humour is dark,
A chicken who's picking the losers apart,
Some rabbits who slumber by her majesty,
With floppy ears, carrots, and cuddles of glee....
LordxWilliamson Dec 2014
Black Girl

Black is beautiful shouldn't be anything new to you I know TV's confusing you but you need to just think it through, lightskin dark skin every shade of sister in between you're all beautiful women playing for the same team. Your hair is perfect ***** natural and curly blonde hair and blue eyes don't make you anymore girly. Enough with TV's fraud me and my squad out here looking for our very own Felicia Rashad. Shout out to Disney for making a black princess who didn't rep our women at all. I'm just looking for Nefertiti an African Queen a woman who's skin is like coffee love like caffeine who's mind is sharp and focused on that green but does it all for the family her day one team dog that's my dream, a women who cooks like like my grand mama and hustles harder than than Mrs. Obama. Black butterfly your skies the limit lift your spirit against the malicious avaricious ignorance. The world is spiteful and stupid you're all beautiful that's can't be disputed, be proud of your eyes and hair be proud every morning you wake up and take a breath of fresh air be proud for every test you ace be proud of that beautiful skin stretched over that beautiful face.
Andrew Parker Jul 2014
Body Parts and Curse Words Symphony Poem
(7/5/2014)

So, you think I'm an *******?
Well then my farts must smell like roses,
because I treat you the sweetest anyone could dare to stomach.
You count mistakes I've made like calories,
forgetting you are a strangling esophagus,
coated in cholesterol and stuffed with lies.
You flex between smooth to striated as visibly as a zig-zag line,
but even as I try to pass you out of my sphincter like the **** you are,
you keep finding ways to come back up my throat like acid reflux.
But I, am an *******.

So, you think I'm a *******?
Well then you must be a kidney stone,
because you refuse to leave my life any less painfully,
than an unwanted calcium deposit in my urethra.
Nice to meet ya, now bye Felicia.
***** as they come,
you ***.
Because you like to torture me,
clutching that red beating thing in my chest,
with the fierceness of a ****** clamp.
But I, am a *******

So, you think I'm a *****?
Well then I am honored to be seen as so sensitive,
because you must be a  brutal ******* crammed into my face.
Which is funny,
because you'll have your face buried in me soon enough.
You exhaust your *****-eating arsenal,
including flicks of your wicked tongue and lips,
a tiny bite as an exercise of your might.
But I'm the one here who is in control.
So call me a raging thunder **** and make my day,
because you hide in ******* disguise,
now don't be scared little guy and stare into Momma Medusa's eyes.
But I, am a *****.

So, you think I have ***** eyes?
Well then maybe you give judgmental stares,
because you are faced with a ***** reflection in the mirror,
but don't blame the fragile glass surface.
The one with smudges and stains, until it shatters,
because these eyes are no simple *** object.
They are the most beautiful brown bestowed upon my body,
and they are filled with the anger,
filled with the rage,
and filled with the envy which accompanies sorrow.
***** eyes, **** eyes,
but gaze into these eyes that are relentlessly unforgiving, named Hazel.
as if they had a name for human pieces of flesh filled with blood.
But I, have ***** eyes.

You wave these body parts around so casually,
wielding them like words used to curse someone.
You scream that they are used to sell ***.
But my body parts are no curse words,
and my body parts are no mere objects.

They are woven together to create a breathtaking symphony.
They don't belong in a sarcophagus, still alive and breathing,
my heart is here and beating,
as much as that ******* may ****,
as much as that **** may ****,
as much as that ***** may throb,
and as much as those eyes may stare,
don't you dare ever go there.

Because while I may be a compilation of body parts and curse words,
you are just beef jerky, a food mindlessly consumed, and overly salty.
wordvango May 2017
One day, I believe it was a Saturday
before the eve of Mother's day or Father's day I have
forgotten, let's say it was ten years ago,
the sun rose brighter than any day had
on any day I had woken still drunk.
The skies were blue as a bruise from a punch
on the jaw and stark as, shockingly pure , almost .
I awoke remembering a bit of the chaos of last night.
I sort of recalled getting my lights punched out by
Eduardo, Didn't realize he was a black belt,
but I beat the hell out of his fists.
I recall trying to swap girls or something,
young and dumb as a sombrero thrown in the air
on new year's , I was, no purpose, but to see if
they had those feelings too.
And all hell broke loose.
My girl got mad, Eduardo got mad.
His girl smiled at me.
I kind of grabbed her and kissed her
pasionately, she returned it.
Then Eduardo punched her and my sweet
Felicia cold cocked me.
Then he  hit me and Felicia pulled his girl's hair.
It was bad. But good, you only live once ,
I said to Juanita as we limped home.
Woke up next to her, she and I both had black eyes
and hangovers. That Cuervos is crazy ,
dude!
Chelsea Spears Aug 2015
You are out of this world hot;
Inside and out
You do not get in stupid fights, you do not hit people and smile

You are out of this world hot;
Inner beauty and heart
Perfect and a star  

You are out of this world hot;
Pretty and full of fun stories
Stares with butterflies, silent, always speechless

You are out of this world hot;
Mystic and true
Kisses sweeter than strawberries dipped in chocolate

You are out of this world hot...
Fel Sep 2014
July 17th 2014 11:49 PM

On the day I was born
I was given the name Felicia
Because my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

By the time I was a toddler
I did not think much of beauty
Nor did I think much of myself
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When I started school
I started to see beauty.
I thought it meant blonde hair
And pastel coloured skirts
I had neither, but did not think much of it
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

By the time I was in third grade
I saw beauty even more
I saw it in my mother,
My friends and my teachers.
I thought it meant a smaller body
But that, I didn't know or think
Until I found out I was ten pounds lighter than my oldest brother.
He weighed 140. 
I started to really think about beauty
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

By the time I started middle school
Things had really changed
I was not like my peers
I felt unbeautiful and awkward.
I began to loathe myself
I started seeing beauty
In everything but me.
Found fake love once
Forever scarred my heart.
Started developing phobias,
Couldn't be seen with some people
Couldn't let anyone hear me breathe.
I thought way too much of beauty
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When I was in seventh grade
I thought beauty meant good clothes
Pretty smiles
Fatter wallets
And thinner waistlines
(All of which I had none of)
I thought a lot about beauty
Decided to try something new
One
         Two
                   Three thin slices into my skin
(Found out cutting wasn't really my thing)
I made good friends
Tons of bitter enemies
That all, I felt, were prettier than me
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When eighth grade rolled around
I knew lots about beauty
But started caring for little of it.
Homelessness had racked my life
I worried more about keeping up with school
And picking up a new instrument
Than worrying about beauty
That I still thought a little about.
I made friends that didn't care either
I decided I can live my life
Ugly, in poverty, fat, and awkward
Although some nights I still did cry
About how I never had a boyfriend 
About how no one ever showed interest in me
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When I started high scho
Beauty was everywhere I turned
But a developing affair I had
With the lovely marching arts
Took all my worrying and cares
Away from beauty
But not completely.
I thought beauty meant
Shorter shorts
Tanner skin
Straighter hair
And an older age.
I was bullied for being a freshman
And often picks on for being far
I didn't  care much to look at myself in the mirror often
But I outwardly cared much less about  everything
Putting off a persona.
Found better friends
And less bitter enemies
That I thought much be a little prettier than me
Also found some bad friends
That couldve gotten me in trouble
Ones that helped create a nasty habit
Of taking things that weren't mine
I however saw a little beauty in myself
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

Now, when I was a sophomore
I believe I truly found myself.
If  not all, then bits of myself.
I made even greater friends
Maybe even found love
And an ever deepening love for the marching arts.
I thought beauty meant
Great musical skill,
Being a good person,
An having a passion for something greater than yourself.
I  started to find beautiful things in people
That we're sometimes reflected in me.
Does that mean I  started to think I was beautiful?
I guess it does.
But I started to accept myself.
All my strengths
My flaws and my quirks and weaknesses
And I believe that comes along with finding yourself.
However,
Academic life started to slip
I did not care much for it
Did not care much for anything, really
But two things:
Love. And band.
Which both have kept me from
Falling into a deep dark abyss
That both of my siblings have experienced and ensures
One I do not safe fall into.
My nasty habit
Had only deepened
And gotten even more daring.
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

Today
I am fast approaching junior year
I am becoming a young adult
And I see beauty in everything
Myself included
It's amazing
And truly liberating
To feel this way
To not worry
Of what others think of me.
I still have phobias I had developed earlier
I still have the scars where I thought a solution may be found
And I still have a nasty habit
Yet I feel beautiful.
Some days are bad
Most days are good.
I have accepted myself enough
To take a step out of denial
And head toward the truth of change
And still
Through everything
(Although there is much here she does not know about)
My momma thinks I'm beautiful and happy.
Phoenix Jun 2016
Do you remember the jeep
Going for rides
With the top down
And music blarring

I sang at the top of my lungs
My hair blowing everywhere
Dancing in my seat
To Bonjovi
And Guns and Roses

We took the back roads
Absorbing the sunlight
I loved those moments
Bonding over music
That only you and I shared

Forgetting the rest of the world
Just you and me
No girlfriends
Or school
Or drama

Do you remember the White Sox game
My first baseball game
I don't remember who they played
Or who won

It was Rich and Felicia
You and me
I begged you for a hat
To remember the day

I still have it
It's hanging in my closet
By the clasps in back

It's getting old
And *****
I don't let people touch it
Not very often at least

It's an awesome memory
And people don't unserstand
What the hat means to me

Do you remember Six Flags
It was you and I
Rich and Felicia

I remember the long lines
And constant jokes
I remember waiting for superman
Nearly dying of laughter
From your stupid jokes

I was afraid
Afraid of its height
But I got on
With the three of you

It was a lot of fun
Even though I kept my eyes closed
The rush of the wind in my hair
My voice was hoarse
After screaming most of the time

I remember getting squid hats
Making funny faces for the camera
I remember getting to the front of that line

The raging bull
A large roller coaster
That I lost my nerve on
I felt bad because you wouldn't ride without me
But my fear overruled

Do you remember the sushi bar
Where I had sushi for the first time
It was an old place
And an odd experience
But one I don't regret

It felt strange
On my tounge and throat
But I enjoyed it

Learning about a different culture
From you
Something that stays between us
Something no one else can intrude on

So many memories I have
Of you and I
We don't talk much
Since I'm always busy

Sorry I'm not around much
Even though I'd like to be
Sometimes I feel out of place

But you still include me
With the family
In your life
Letting me know
That I'm welcome at any point

I love you dad
Even if I don't say it
You're stuck with me
Forever and eternity
Good memories are always there
With just you and me
Stuff I wont forget
Stuff I'll remember until I die

So here's a few
Of the things
That comes to mind
When I think of you

Happy Father's Day dad
I love you
dareujoe Dec 2014
She said, "I have a bad taste in my mouth."
Ha ha ha
Then I offered her mouthwash.
Jellyfish Dec 2015
I wonder,
have you forgotten about me yet?
I'm not sure that I'll ever forget you
even though I'm wanting to, so badly
It seems my mind isn't ready to let me.
But I have to keep trying.
And it'll take a while for me to stop crying
but at least I won't be denying,
my longing for you
to still be in my life.
Yeah, we had strife
but somehow we managed and
right now I'm tired of standing
here without you beside me.
Please just pull the knife out of me
set me free from this agony, maybe
give me an anaesthetic to numb all
of this pain.
I'm waiting for Felicia Amnesia to
sink into my brain.
It hurts to miss you.
Arcassin B Sep 2016
By Arcassin Burnham


....And from that fateful day, he went home with
A smile for once,
Because he knew that for the first time he was in love,
He'll have something to tell his friends tomorrow,
Yeah he'll flaunt ,
It's only a matter of time before he drowns in her love,
Goes through the door with a smile , heads to his room
With a smile, lays on his bed with a smile,
He quickly took out his phone and dialed the number that he dials,
Telling his befriend that they have to go to that party,
His best friend says "cool , but we're not popular , remember dude,
Remember on the way to school on the day that guy ran into you and pushed
To the ground and asked for money? You said no , and he said I'll see you
Monday", and he's like "yeah , I remember", and his friend confesses and says "okay remember the girl you ask me for ? Weeelllll that's her boyfriend" and hes like "dude seriously! Why didn't you tell me first hand!? I could have said just **** it , now I think I'm in love man",
Friend said "I'm sorry man I thought you knew",
His happy day just turned into blue,
He says "sorry I blew up but I'm not mad you, and no I didn't know that
She was dating that arrogant ******",

The day calms down and slowly eases into nighttime, he sits on the roof
Of his house with earphones in thinking about Felicia,
That sweet Felicia,
All the ugliness in the world just couldn't defeat ya,
You brighten up his days where he use to feel low,
He's gonna change himself for you while time moves slow.
©ABPoetry2016
http://arcassin.blogspot.com/2016/09/cupids-voice-pt2.html
Like cadavers are so many lovers.
Drunk on a table for two,
laid out and cut open
examined, weighed and cataloged,
yes,
cupid has your number.

He sharpens his arrows.
"Oh, how cute! He's like a baby!"
Shut it!
He's a monster.

It was nothing serious.
Angela and I were noncommittal,
then,
it just...
Happened!
I kissed her and she lost her footing.
Her legs slackened like climber's loose rope.
Angela fell, hard.
I pulled out the arrow. (I only wish I had disinfectant.)
She was breathing funny. I wasn't sure what bit her,
but when her eyes flickered open,
I felt the shame she would never know.
I looked up in time to see a fluttering of white.
A dove? I was too naive.
Angela started to get clingy. That's when I got stingy.
Soon, I began to ignore messages selectively.
Eventually, she was a fading memory.

Monica. Jessica. Lisa. Monique.
The story kept repeating itself.
"Get a grip, love was chasing you! Some should be so lucky..."
If that grip is cupid's neck, give me two handfuls, please.
I nearly stopped ******* around altogether,
haunted by feather after feather,
but I really just learned to play it safe.
Cut them off after a couple of weeks.
I'll never forgive Cupid, that rotten ****.

Her name was Felicia.

It was day thirteen.
I had my copied and pasted, "Sorry," SMS ready to go.
We were engaged in pillow talk,
it was nothing serious.
Sarcasm turned into playfulness.
We rolled over,
she had me pinned,
she nibbled on my earlobe,
and with artful tongue stroked
years of pain
from my soul.
She reared back.
Our eyes locked in mutual reverence.
We smiled and embraced letting our slick bodies revel in the moist residue of our tender frolicking.
It was then that I felt the itch in my shoulder blade.
Color and warmth fled my chest.
It was with a numbness that I let her go,
and reach back,
and felt the long spine of the arrow,
like the stem of a scythe.

The weeks that followed were a heaven
that I had always hoped not to enjoy
and felt ever more guilty in knowing my unfettered happiness.
Simple pleasures I once knew were then mountains of joy.
My passions magnified were as the flames of the sun.
I even feared I could turn her away with mentions of my love,
but this was not an unrequited venture.
We shared in admissions of our deepest affections.
There was not a moment passed in yearning of our old lives.
Even shedding light on our past imperfections was a delight
incapable of breaking the spell.
Truly, this is the purpose of youth; this love; this roaring of souls entwined.

Is justice blind?

I certainly felt this token of nature cast its judgment upon me.
No sooner than I had finally accepted my new reality, did I watch this sheltering bubble burst.
We weren't as open as I had imagined, of course, I shouldn't be so naive to think so.
She disappeared. I was distraught for what seemed like weeks, but.
I got a phone call.
The phone call led to a hospital. Within the hospital, a room.
Within that room, she lay on a bed, head shaved, smiling weakly.
I sat hesitantly by her side.
She grinned as she pinned me with a pink ribbon.
"You'll fight with me, right?" She said, as her eyes searched my soul,
quivering, yet there was a fierce strength behind the weariness.
"If I don't fight, I'll lose more than losing you."
She lay her head in my chest. A chest that could lend its power.
Looking out of the window into the horizon, I wished for things I never considered to be signs of hope. Yes, I'll fight...

In that moment of my life, it was as if I weren't alive.
Perhaps my body was waiting for me to return: sitting there, breathless.

Are brave words the measure of fate?
Oh, I wish this were so, yet some battles only time can win.

I didn't go to the funeral. I simply asked that I may scatter the ashes.
It was a moment for two. I stood on a cliff by the sea, a place she and I loved. I spoke to her, in ways I knew she deserved. I scattered the ashes, and I knew she had returned to the promise of life, a place beyond time and pain.

And so, time passes for me.

In time, I am ready to love another.
A familiar itch in the shoulder blade.
I know the arrow is there.
I look up and there is cupid, smiling.
No need to hide from a gracious soul.
I gaze and I whisper:

"Please, Cupid. This time, don't leave me breathless."
Enjoy :)

DEW
Arcassin B Aug 2016
By Arcassin Burnham


He was a loss caused teen with daddy issues keeping
To himself everyday in his room with books of magic
And teleportation to get out of this town,
Missing the days when he was little and mom and
Pops would show him more respect as a little addition to
The family more like a blessing as he was considered the
Miracle child around,
Went to school with iron fists and jean chains hanging
With the bad crowd like the emos mixed with nerdy rock
Fans that had no life just seeking attention from penny
Pinching,
Pulling a list of ******* in his life at home,
Watching anime to make sure he was not alone,
The hostility with his dad , it was home grown,
Everything in his life was an utter joke to him,
But until he saw a that girl across the lunch room,
Felicia Stone,
So he asked his friend Joe ,
Who's that girl sitting over there with high heels
And that red shirt on,
"Oh her! Her name's Felicia, she transferred from Italy",
Blue eyes like the Argentina oceans and her voice so
Heavenly,
Make boys fall down to their knees as they appease,
It was like clouds and stars and rain in one room when
She stands up to throw her tray away,
probably thinking he's gonna say hey today,
Gets up , walks to the trash, throw it away,
Walks her direction, turns back around and doesn't
Go through with it.....
©ABPoetry2016

http://arcassin.blogspot.com/2016/08/cupids-voice-pt1.html
Stances

I

Sans doute il est trop **** pour parler encor d'elle ;
Depuis qu'elle n'est plus quinze jours sont passés,
Et dans ce pays-ci quinze jours, je le sais,
Font d'une mort récente une vieille nouvelle.
De quelque nom d'ailleurs que le regret s'appelle,
L'homme, par tout pays, en a bien vite assez.

II

Ô Maria-Felicia ! le peintre et le poète
Laissent, en expirant, d'immortels héritiers ;
Jamais l'affreuse nuit ne les prend tout entiers.
À défaut d'action, leur grande âme inquiète
De la mort et du temps entreprend la conquête,
Et, frappés dans la lutte, ils tombent en guerriers.

III

Celui-là sur l'airain a gravé sa pensée ;
Dans un rythme doré l'autre l'a cadencée ;
Du moment qu'on l'écoute, on lui devient ami.
Sur sa toile, en mourant, Raphael l'a laissée,
Et, pour que le néant ne touche point à lui,
C'est assez d'un enfant sur sa mère endormi.

IV

Comme dans une lampe une flamme fidèle,
Au fond du Parthénon le marbre inhabité
Garde de Phidias la mémoire éternelle,
Et la jeune Vénus, fille de Praxitèle,
Sourit encor, debout dans sa divinité,
Aux siècles impuissants qu'a vaincus sa beauté.

V

Recevant d'âge en âge une nouvelle vie,
Ainsi s'en vont à Dieu les gloires d'autrefois ;
Ainsi le vaste écho de la voix du génie
Devient du genre humain l'universelle voix...
Et de toi, morte hier, de toi, pauvre Marie,
Au fond d'une chapelle il nous reste une croix !

VI

Une croix ! et l'oubli, la nuit et le silence !
Écoutez ! c'est le vent, c'est l'Océan immense ;
C'est un pêcheur qui chante au bord du grand chemin.
Et de tant de beauté, de gloire et d'espérance,
De tant d'accords si doux d'un instrument divin,
Pas un faible soupir, pas un écho lointain !

VII

Une croix ! et ton nom écrit sur une pierre,
Non pas même le tien, mais celui d'un époux,
Voilà ce qu'après toi tu laisses sur la terre ;
Et ceux qui t'iront voir à ta maison dernière,
N'y trouvant pas ce nom qui fut aimé de nous,
Ne sauront pour prier où poser les genoux.

VIII

Ô Ninette ! où sont-ils, belle muse adorée,
Ces accents pleins d'amour, de charme et de terreur,
Qui voltigeaient le soir sur ta lèvre inspirée,
Comme un parfum léger sur l'aubépine en fleur ?
Où vibre maintenant cette voix éplorée,
Cette harpe vivante attachée à ton coeur ?

IX

N'était-ce pas hier, fille joyeuse et folle,
Que ta verve railleuse animait Corilla,
Et que tu nous lançais avec la Rosina
La roulade amoureuse et l'oeillade espagnole ?
Ces pleurs sur tes bras nus, quand tu chantais le Saule,
N'était-ce pas hier, pâle Desdemona ?

X

N'était-ce pas hier qu'à la fleur de ton âge
Tu traversais l'Europe, une lyre à la main ;
Dans la mer, en riant, te jetant à la nage,
Chantant la tarentelle au ciel napolitain,
Coeur d'ange et de lion, libre oiseau de passage,
Espiègle enfant ce soir, sainte artiste demain ?

XI

N'était-ce pas hier qu'enivrée et bénie
Tu traînais à ton char un peuple transporté,
Et que Londre et Madrid, la France et l'Italie,
Apportaient à tes pieds cet or tant convoité,
Cet or deux fois sacré qui payait ton génie,
Et qu'à tes pieds souvent laissa ta charité ?

XII

Qu'as-tu fait pour mourir, ô noble créature,
Belle image de Dieu, qui donnais en chemin
Au riche un peu de joie, au malheureux du pain ?
Ah ! qui donc frappe ainsi dans la mère nature,
Et quel faucheur aveugle, affamé de pâture,
Sur les meilleurs de nous ose porter la main ?

XIII

Ne suffit-il donc pas à l'ange de ténèbres
Qu'à peine de ce temps il nous reste un grand nom ?
Que Géricault, Cuvier, Schiller, Goethe et Byron
Soient endormis d'hier sous les dalles funèbres,
Et que nous ayons vu tant d'autres morts célèbres
Dans l'abîme entr'ouvert suivre Napoléon ?

XIV

Nous faut-il perdre encor nos têtes les plus chères,
Et venir en pleurant leur fermer les paupières,
Dès qu'un rayon d'espoir a brillé dans leurs yeux ?
Le ciel de ses élus devient-il envieux ?
Ou faut-il croire, hélas ! ce que disaient nos pères,
Que lorsqu'on meurt si jeune on est aimé des dieux ?

XV

Ah ! combien, depuis peu, sont partis pleins de vie !
Sous les cyprès anciens que de saules nouveaux !
La cendre de Robert à peine refroidie,
Bellini tombe et meurt ! - Une lente agonie
Traîne Carrel sanglant à l'éternel repos.
Le seuil de notre siècle est pavé de tombeaux.

XVI

Que nous restera-t-il si l'ombre insatiable,
Dès que nous bâtissons, vient tout ensevelir ?
Nous qui sentons déjà le sol si variable,
Et, sur tant de débris, marchons vers l'avenir,
Si le vent, sous nos pas, balaye ainsi le sable,
De quel deuil le Seigneur veut-il donc nous vêtir ?

XVII

Hélas ! Marietta, tu nous restais encore.
Lorsque, sur le sillon, l'oiseau chante à l'aurore,
Le laboureur s'arrête, et, le front en sueur,
Aspire dans l'air pur un souffle de bonheur.
Ainsi nous consolait ta voix fraîche et sonore,
Et tes chants dans les cieux emportaient la douleur.

XVIII

Ce qu'il nous faut pleurer sur ta tombe hâtive,
Ce n'est pas l'art divin, ni ses savants secrets :
Quelque autre étudiera cet art que tu créais ;
C'est ton âme, Ninette, et ta grandeur naïve,
C'est cette voix du coeur qui seule au coeur arrive,
Que nul autre, après toi, ne nous rendra jamais.

XIX

Ah ! tu vivrais encor sans cette âme indomptable.
Ce fut là ton seul mal, et le secret fardeau
Sous lequel ton beau corps plia comme un roseau.
Il en soutint longtemps la lutte inexorable.
C'est le Dieu tout-puissant, c'est la Muse implacable
Qui dans ses bras en feu t'a portée au tombeau.

**

Que ne l'étouffais-tu, cette flamme brûlante
Que ton sein palpitant ne pouvait contenir !
Tu vivrais, tu verrais te suivre et t'applaudir
De ce public blasé la foule indifférente,
Qui prodigue aujourd'hui sa faveur inconstante
À des gens dont pas un, certes, n'en doit mourir.

XXI

Connaissais-tu si peu l'ingratitude humaine ?
Quel rêve as-tu donc fait de te tuer pour eux ?
Quelques bouquets de fleurs te rendaient-ils si vaine,
Pour venir nous verser de vrais pleurs sur la scène,
Lorsque tant d'histrions et d'artistes fameux,
Couronnés mille fois, n'en ont pas dans les yeux ?

XXII

Que ne détournais-tu la tête pour sourire,
Comme on en use ici quand on feint d'être ému ?
Hélas ! on t'aimait tant, qu'on n'en aurait rien vu.
Quand tu chantais le Saule, au lieu de ce délire,
Que ne t'occupais-tu de bien porter ta lyre ?
La Pasta fait ainsi : que ne l'imitais-tu ?

XXIII

Ne savais-tu donc pas, comédienne imprudente,
Que ces cris insensés qui te sortaient du coeur
De ta joue amaigrie augmentaient la pâleur ?
Ne savais-tu donc pas que, sur ta tempe ardente,
Ta main de jour en jour se posait plus tremblante,
Et que c'est tenter Dieu que d'aimer la douleur ?

XXIV

Ne sentais-tu donc pas que ta belle jeunesse
De tes yeux fatigués s'écoulait en ruisseaux,
Et de ton noble coeur s'exhalait en sanglots ?
Quand de ceux qui t'aimaient tu voyais la tristesse,
Ne sentais-tu donc pas qu'une fatale ivresse
Berçait ta vie errante à ses derniers rameaux ?

XXV

Oui, oui, tu le savais, qu'au sortir du théâtre,
Un soir dans ton linceul il faudrait te coucher.
Lorsqu'on te rapportait plus froide que l'albâtre,
Lorsque le médecin, de ta veine bleuâtre,
Regardait goutte à goutte un sang noir s'épancher,
Tu savais quelle main venait de te toucher.

XXVI

Oui, oui, tu le savais, et que, dans cette vie,
Rien n'est bon que d'aimer, n'est vrai que de souffrir.
Chaque soir dans tes chants tu te sentais pâlir.
Tu connaissais le monde, et la foule, et l'envie,
Et, dans ce corps brisé concentrant ton génie,
Tu regardais aussi la Malibran mourir.

XXVII

Meurs donc ! ta mort est douce, et ta tâche est remplie.
Ce que l'homme ici-bas appelle le génie,
C'est le besoin d'aimer ; hors de là tout est vain.
Et, puisque tôt ou **** l'amour humain s'oublie,
Il est d'une grande âme et d'un heureux destin
D'expirer comme toi pour un amour divin !
Arcassin B Jan 2017
By Arcassin Burnham


...So They Both Walk in class, sits down and the teacher
Tells them to take out the quiz of math, the class sighs in frustration,
He stares at her from across the room hoping to have some continuation,
Maybe of the little encounter they had in the hall , or the eye contact that
Overwhelmed him for 20 minutes,
Class ends and then they all leave and head out the door, he almost
Tripped , face almost hitting the floor, As kids laugh,
There she goes standing over him again, Rosey red cheeks , so nervous
That she can barely stand,
She says, "Hey think you might need a tutor for the weekend" he replies "um
Mmmmmmmmmmm" Nervously , she laughs and gives him a piece of
Paper "Here's my number , just text me the address and I'll be there in a hurry...
By the way the names Felicia" And she walks off with a smile,
Hasn't had a girl give him her number in awhile,
Except this cute teenage beastie back in seventh grade knowing that cute teenage beastie with no name since kindergarten,
Reminiscent toward the days when they would ride they're bikes to school in a trance listening to mp3's of techno music they couldn't buy , back when he
Lived in Colorado,
He always knew her but she never would reveal her name, he knew that when
He moved that he would see her someday, she use to where a hoodie and a pink
Shoe string around the wrist to hide the cuts, kids bullying her in school and every time she walked home they called her nuts,
Because he was there to witness it all and stopped those kids,
But why they picked on her? Is because of what her mother did,
Her mother is bipolar and has been on drugs forever,
Carrying the burden, he would never ever leave her, but he did,
Thinking back when he would spend nights cuddling her to sleep,
A lot memories don't stay in peoples minds , it just repeats,
So he gets up , walks into the hall and heads to lunch,
There was a person with a hoodie watching him walk and such...
©ABPoetry2017
http://arcassin.blogspot.com/2017/01/cupids-voice-pt-4.html
Joseph C Ogbonna Feb 2019
Good Morning Grandma.
It really was a hitch free journey
between a tumultuous earth,
and a refreshing dawn
in a glamorous
celestial city.
Conveyed in honour,
on eternity's ship,
in the midst of a flotilla,
each by angels maneuvered.
I do sincerely congratulate you
for your new found bliss.
And as you merry in your
world of paradisation,
be sure to plead our cause
before His Majesty divine.
In loving memory of Grandma, the late Mrs Felicia Enato
Quettevio Oct 2016
there's this girl, her name is felicia,
and she is not afraid to love with all she might,
to fall over and over again,
to get hurt and to be misunderstood,
to be pushed away by the circumstances she is not aware.
i tell her she is stupid, wasting her time, and that she deserves better;
but still the only time she cries is because he cries.

there's this guy, his name is derio,
tells me he knows nothing about love, or how to win a girl heart,
but i witness him giving his drink to her,
pats her back after their group presentation,
shows me what he writes and how i notice he engraves
every single thing about her in words,
how he makes a playlist contains songs about her
and how she makes him feel.

there's this girl, her name is nadya,
her love is the love that is so pure and innocent,
that even when he is miles away she tells me she senses his presence.
she draws him paintings, consist of pastel colors, and i ask her why;
she says it brings calmness to every storm.
i will look up at her history chat, being a protective friend that i am;
and i notice how fast she responds,
showering him with the attention he never have.

there's this guy, his name is andre,
and the way he talks about her, i assure you,
even the star constellations will envy the spark in his eyes.
his wallpaper is green, and i joke a lot about it;
how it shows that he is a capitalist, how it looks like he just puke on it,
but he shrugs it all off; tells me it is her favorite color.

there's this girl, her name is clara,
never going anywhere without a book in her hand,
sometimes she will surprise me with midnight chats
contains her crying over a fictional character and how unfair the ending is,
she has this web-page where she writes the unsent letters
to every character she is in love with.
she has a personal blog where she makes each of them
another story, another ending.

there's this guy, his name is elliot,
a head division of an event i am contributed in,
and between the meetings that goes almost overnight,
he insists to walk her to the train station even if she never ask to.
he tells me it is not because he think she is weak and can't protect herself,
he says it is because she is precious.

and then there is me;
a witness,
a learner,
a note-taker,
of all kind of love they show,
of all kind of love they grow,
for sometimes it is easy to love
but hard to remember
how beautiful and endearing it is.
Arcassin B Sep 2016
By Arcassin Burnham


....So the next morning comes and he's slumped halfway off
The bed with drool spewing out from his mouth,
Must of had a good dream inside a kerosene filled with doubts
Thinking about his future spouse,
Gets up , does everything that he didn't think he would do
To get ready for school,
Saw his friend walking to the bus stop and decided to join him,
He said "Man those shoes are cool, are they new?" He bragged
"Yes my friend it's called shop lifting", looking in astonishment,
He said "are you telling the truth?" He sarcastically admitted, "haha
No I got them from a yard sale", he replied "you *******" and then they
Got on the bus, knowing that his friend on the bus , is really the only
Guy he could trust,
Which brings us,
To first period , fixing his hair in the bathroom and talking to
Himself in the mirror saying , "the day is only as bad as you make it",
Aligning his collar and pants to at least in the slightest look presentable
But his hands started to shake, oh what a day! You couldn't possibly
Say that if you've made it to the end he thought,
He walks out of the bathroom and into the hall looking into first
Period and then ducks so he wouldn't get caught,
Sitting by the door , he looks down and sees that one of his shoes isn't
Tied and then looks to his right only to see Felicia walking down the hall coming towards him, thinking to himself , what I am I gonna do
If she wonders how stupid I look sitting outside of this door I need help,
He stands up quick and she walks right in front of him as graceful as a
Million swans and a thousand beautiful smiles put together and says ,"Hey",
Brushing her hair passed her face shylike,
With sweat on his face he replies nervously , "ahh ...he...hey",
They stare at each other for like 4 minutes almost like syncing into each other's minds using eyes and raging emotions, she looks down and looks back up and says ,"so umm , you gonna let me through or should I be worried?" As
She giggled, he replies ,"no not at all ... I'm um ... Actually in this class too",
Blushing a little...........To Be Continued.
©ABPoetry2016
http://arcassin.blogspot.com/2016/09/cupids-voice-pt3.html

— The End —