Turns out the joke's on me yet again...
Monsters don't really disappear when the light comes on.
And they don't hide when you shine the light on them either.
No. Instead they rise up. They grow to fill the space that was created by spotlighting them and become ready-
To be the star of a show that you helped to curate.
I thought for certainty that talking to you about my depression would somehow alleviate it in some way...
but it didn't...
I actually feel more like I'm recessing further since we spoke about this
Like I just let the demons out to run a muck instead of putting them down to rest.
So instead of hurting me when I'm alone, it happens any time now.
When ever it likes
and I feel it eating me...
and I want it to
We have souls that are plunging off this planet,
in hopes they will be swallowed by the cosmos-
fearing the hurt is never ending,
leads to renovations of existence.
To silence the beating
of a heart,
to end a life.
Morality is stuck behind
the gates of purgatory
& society is too scared of
what will happen
if we use our mouths for
A tourniquet can stop the bleeding,
but can’t do justice for spread of infection,
or the scar serving as a reminder.
People are dying from depression-
faulty chemistry in the brain.
As well as suicide.
It is the crying of phantoms,
never to be heard-
of the contorted humanity
we proudly call ”life”
Ache that’s carried lifelong,
but never resolved.
those vague questions
don’t save lives.
Death knows this,
He is an omniscient force
lingering in the scenery.
Possessing the inability
to tolerate the teasing
and the wagers.
Coming to collect early
because, we’ve begun
Darkness makes him feel welcome
Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in America. Not OK.
Your weakness feeds my strength.
And it tastes delicious
grace on a birch branch
a pair of silky redbreasts
among red buds of spring
no worry about tomorrow
for God feeds them today
and clothes them as kings
I live on your social acceptance of me
You keep my face buried, my eyes blind and my mind occupied
You draw me in, I loose myself, trying to find myself
I can't hear the birds chirp, I can't see the sunrise
You are always here but yet I'm afraid and I’m alone
The happiest people living their "best lives" surrounds me
Telling me to see, telling me I need to be apart of it
Don't you want to be like me?
Live feeds, Status updates
Love me, don't scroll without a comment
Live streams, fake news, fake friends
Program-me, I need your feeds
It's not just a movie, it's real life get a clue
As I decompose, don't decipher the
depths of my pain. I was indecisive, in life and
death, defining my problems deformed my
whole purpose. And maybe I was too delicate
for these demised decisions, deflecting and
deluding recovery, instead; I delve into these
delusions I'm too scared to deny in my head, its
density dented me, depleted my happiness,
and feeds off my doubt, all inside of me-
I get so fascinated with one letter, I don't know why, and odd poems like these come to be.
All feedback is welcome and appreciated
The mother that feeds her starving children with her own flesh.
Handcuffs made of money.
A pregnant earth giving birth to toxic waste.
Starving children fed empty promises
and grow up to be drug addicts and terrorist.
The mind poisoned by fables and lies.
Gifts given for show, taken back by greed.
The poor being robbed of their human dignity.
Success based on likes, hearts and followers.
Love the only cure.
Relapse and rewind
This happens every ******* time.
I've been neglecting the drugs,
The ones that were supposed to save me.
They only make it worse
Make me feel more crazy.
But when the time comes
Where my tide breaks
I cannot hold my ground.
The monsters come to me
With deafening sound.
Whispers from malevolent lips
Sound so sweet.
Like candy for my starving soul.
And soon I'm on that sugar high.
Rushing cherry red
It's got such a lovely flavor.
Feeds my hunger
Satisfies my thirst.
It won't be long
Before I'm back for more.
The pendulum swings at a steady speed
Inevitably life upon me feeds
I dreamt of real in my illusion
Destiny like free-will a mere delusion
Today’s all but gone, am I still intact
To pull love’s knife out of my back
Brilliantly dim this light of mine
I strain to glimpse the bottom line
These nights do linger pain becomes art
The Cut that Never Heals still bleeds my heart
re to 3-19
Devilish torment -- her body is my lament.
She crawls beneath the cracks and finds
The dark cellar my "worst" ferments.
She feeds it as it rots, just to make its wine more bitter...
Squeezed from the finest lies,
Designed to make an addict from a quitter.
Like a dark and tempting vacuum that my soul cannot escape,
Attractive in its repulsion,
Its a part of me that loves the way it hates.
Masturbatory and selfish, With a thirst that can't be quenched...
She finds the spots within me, that make even deities flinch.
Their knees crack and crumble, at its all-consuming "nothing"...
I never knew my zero could be so wholly unbecoming.
She, or it, will surely be my undoing.
Yet, somehow, that keeps me moving.
So uncomfortably I'll admit...
It's the brutal nature of it all,
That I find so disturbingly soothing.
Sister who conceived was thrown outta the nunnery
This disgrace fed the top feeds hence.
Shunning all her exemplary works at once.
But where did the well-read ladies lose reference?
THE BOOK had revealed it all right there,
But when history repeated itself...
with just a track from heaven missing
And so this mother raised a fatherless child.
But in history when the father was a Carpenter.
Here in time the father was a Father
Who continued to raise "patriarchy" on the altar!
Be gentle with me, I beg
My skin burns with adoration
Your touch feeds these flames
Pause and breathe
Lungs of hopeful dreaming
I feel safest in the dark
Where I can see
And you get lost in shadows
Fingers search for souls
I am on fire, do you not see
You are cold like ice
insecurity is eating me
the world is showing me
that you have to be having it all
or you have nothing.
i should be happy
with my natural blessings.
because it all belongs to God
and i was made special in his image
and if he supplies all of my needs
then my natural self is okay
that is all i should need.
those people that i envy
those people aren't happy
those people are irresponsible
those people are temporary
because they waste their life
and feed on
on temporary things
and you are what you eat.
those people don't care
those people are full
of the gigantic meal called
but the would feeds me
a different meal
which i am the cook
they feed me my own
this is how i eat and be eaten.
what does the world show you?
The black horse of nocturnal dreams
That of which the cursed angels sing
The black horse
Of man's design
The black horse of untold times
Braided mane fiery long and flowing
Riding into the darkness all knowing
I am that which feeds the demons fear
Hidden in a blind man's tears
The black horse of lost tomorrows
The ghosts of suffering and sorrow
Thundering hooves of the written word
The sound of blood trumpets can be heard
Bringer of nocturnal dreams
That of which the dark angels sing.
The black horse with deep earth eyes
Vicious wind of the people cries
The black horse of lost tomorrows
The ghosts of suffering and sorrow
The listener of your agonized screams
The bearer of your darkest dreams
@ Copyright Tammy M Darby 3/6/2016
Look in the mirror and tell me what you see,
Is your smile weird, maybe its the shape of your face, what about your teeth?
Do some seem out of place?
You're no different from me, I look in the mirror all the time,
Even when I don't need to or when its not wort it.
What do I see ? I see the same as you, all things that I deem to make me less than perfect.
You see we're unhappy with ourselves,
Things we've been taught can be fixed with a product on a shelf,
Somewhere in an isle that feeds off our desire to look flawless.
Yet all we do is buy more and learn to love ourselves less.
What is self love ?
Do you even know where to start?
I don't but I believe that with all love it comes from the heart.
You see we compliment people who talk theirselves down,
But we can't compliment ourselves yet sometimes we give it all to erase a frown.
We're not incapable of loving, you an me.
We're just too blind to see, that we deserve our love too, to be as happy as can be.
Morning dew that feeds the grass
Tell me how long does it last
Seven hundred days have passed
And still the void remains so vast
Drops like tears run down the blades
And band together in cascades
Then journey deep beneath the shade
Where my dear brother has been laid
In memory of my big brother Travis
a ghost white fluffy fluff **** ball of fur
kneading on my thigh
want to smack it and knock it off
but it’s purring and it’s warm
my friends have the cute
meow meow meows
and feeds it a lot so I pet the kitty
when I’d rather fall asleep or pet you
Soon, it jumps off the bed
presumably to race up and down
the stairs at night, watch the ghost
floof away— its fur hiding its legs
and looking like a hovering white cloth
So I’ll post about my best friend’s cat instead
Don't bite it
yeah don't bite it
because it worth
Dude don't bite it
don't bite that hand
it feeds you, so don't bite it
Oh, you heard feeding
you practically thinking
of food, you salivating
Don't bite it
it feeding you with that
love ,unconditional love
love the way you being fed
so don't bite it
don't bite that hand
Don't bite the hand that
feeds you, don't do that
it gonna stop feeding you
A world without borders
is a fantasy land.
Wake up, set aside emotion
before everything's gone.
Evil is deceitful
it feeds on the clueless.
Disguised with love
that's called "political correctness".
sat next to the man with two phones
i asked him to hold my hand
and he laughed
sitting in his ‘96 civic
for three hours we fell asleep
till six since three
he’s one of the many men
far from the moral field
leaves many men with little substance
and you and me victims
of victims of you and me
he’s the type who feeds fiends
and he’ll keep making a killing
off children we perceive
as grown men and women
living to **** themselves
it’s how he makes a living
don’t him you belittle
for you are no different
i know the thought makes you livid
you wish he was lined up and shot with the likes of him
but your white lies are their white lines
and the front lines in his line of business
so you would lie alongside and
where you were digging
as far as i’m concerned
he’s not a man without substance
and one of much substance
one of few and far between
and certainly could you defeat
because while you let savages ravage me
he held my hand for free
and never demanded their standard fee
of an arm
and a leg
and everything in between
I've got vines for my veins and roots for my laces
Leaves for my hair that hangs over empty eyes, graceless
It's coming from up under my branches
All this air could've been wasted on dead faces
Tell me what you're thinking
Put it into words for my inkling
Tickle me with jokes
But watch out for my ribbing
Power only consumes
But love it always feeds you
And I love it
When you breeze through
And I'm moving
To windy grooving
As you sing me
All your favorite musing
So baby won't you cut me
Down but don't you burn me
Wear me as a locket
Don't you ever lose me
Or I'll lose me
I'm not really sure.