Tired of the lies
Tired of the weakness I feel inside
So many years
So much time
Effort to just get fcked
Wouldn't it be my luck
Lucky enough to fall in love with my best friend
Took me three years to let you in
Didn't immediately allow the love to flow
Scared to lose a friend
But ended up gaining a lover
3 years together and you made me a mother
Beautiful daughter
Smart as fck
Then you started fcken up
The lies just to get what you want
What was the purpose
Of making me happy to play me like a game
Being in love wasn't enough in your brain
I'm tired of the mistrust and hurt
I don't think I will ever love again
But why did you do this to me , my best friend ?
Why does it feel like I belong in your arms but you hurt me and drive me insane ?
Why does it feel like regardless of all the games when we touch we are meant to stay ?
No one attracts me in any which way
But I'm letting go of all ties
I never want to get hurt with all the lies
Time heals all they tell me
All the same
How can you forget someone who impacted your life in so many dramatic ways . . .
Staying strong and never looking back cause what the heart wants hurts me real bad . .

When everyone's started to be an eyesore,
When everything made me swore,
Feelin' ****** wherever I go,
Should I just follow the flow?

Nothing much to be said,
I'd rather kept silent;
and let the noise stayed in my head,
No one cares,instead
being ignored is what I get.

My heart is filled with hatred,
My ego is not going to be shattered,
My voices are unheard,
Feels like to rip everyone's shirts!

I tried to calm myself down,
I repeated it for one more round
and I heard a sound
That happiness is not easily to be found.


a.b

I go to the washroom to freshen up
The bar is loud
I smell something familiar
Smells like you
It smells like you
Comfort
I don't want to lose you
I'm sorry
I'm ******, I know
We're fcked
We know

Where did you go?
My strong grandfather
lying dead in his coffin
still and lifeless

Once the picture of manliness
strength, masculinity and health
now a lifeless corpse

Like a human sized robot
with a miniature pilot
a pilot that simply left
and a biological suit just lies there

Unable to even open his eyes
or move a muscle

I don't understand death
I don't get what it is
The pilot leaves and goes where?

Alone in a room
with a white coffin
and my grandfather's corpse
I stand and try to get a hold on the moment

Leaving me fcked up
Searching for meaning