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"fastidiousness" poems
A series of short puffs from a rekindled cigarette expertly put out on the half reminds you of your fastidiousness now you feel like **** as you look at the wreckage site of a desk that is your own doing        That is what you do. While your ego floats like the unmelted coffee you put in cold water Hardly dissolvable to anything normal missing anything temporal You lash out once more waging a war with a nation of thoughts You kick the furniture to send the dust flying        That is what you do. You attempt to sheathe an intricate wound patterned on your knuckle, as detailed as the dystopia of your own human agenda that can be trivialized by just "I haven't been myself lately" when somebody asks because you're afraid they might see you find it hard to belong Slowly, the dust resorts to settle on the bedroom floor        And so do you.
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Sep 9, 2018
Sep 9, 2018 at 4:31 AM UTC
I Haven't Been Myself Lately
I drew the second third line A first fourth one is on deck Knew I inked them finely fine Still, I go check and recheck Marvelously filleted corners Cleave an unsettling sound Put compass back on paper Just to make sure it's round Anxiety was bound to happen To the fifth first line I go back Again, I sharpen and sharpen But I give up, made it all black Perfection is not my liberty But a numb skin I wish to flay Half of my mind seeks symmetry Yet the other  half                                    is    in                                           disarray
0
Dec 5, 2018
Dec 5, 2018 at 8:46 PM UTC
Fastidiousness
A white abstract silence falls heavily like phosphorous snow… odd and oblique with nervous intensity of random limitations… sensitive and fragile in its unremitting generosity…A fluency of motion of imaginary realisation in silent turbulence descends in tenebrous shadows of illusion detonating the unconscious… the symmetry and exactitude of silence beyond all compass…. an intricate camouflage… meticulous and consistent. Disinherited it tries to sanctify the air….. a silence in where stars evaporate vibrational loud and inquisitive…. freezing time by the velocity of its inner momentum of silent adrenalin. Concealing its true identity isolating me in unknown realisation of what is to occur.. It resonates with constant tension waiting for unpredictability’s of indispensible voices that don’t speak….. This is a realisation of the imagination…. a vibrant insensibility…. density of unravelled thoughts that vaporise within me causing a vibration that fractures the equation of time and space in the burning crucible of my mind. Intractable proportions of silent thought…. hovering… a constant mirage of irrational calculations….. This silence forces all the tears of consequence to fall upon my face with no avail…..Then in this thunderous silence see graffiti on white walls…abstract and meaningless….Like primitive lives…those with meaning yet possess no meaning… an ungovernable democracy of fruitless endeavour… of non factual fastidiousness… a glimpse of life and its fallacy. Yet the words were spoken and written… by whom… And for why.. Now the silence punctuates and instructs…. phosphorous extinguishes itself and hides behind another truth…..The noise of the world cascades in torrents deafening… attempting to defeat… subordinate the senses in atavistic cruelty… Prowling searching for the silence… but it has gone…. disappeared in the imagination of my inner self…. an abstraction I call me….. But I know where the silence has gone….
0
Mar 22, 2012
Mar 22, 2012 at 7:07 PM UTC
My Delirium
A white abstract silence falls heavily like phosphorous snow… odd and oblique with nervous intensity of random limitations… sensitive and fragile in its unremitting generosity…A fluency of motion of imaginary realisation in silent turbulence descends in tenebrous shadows of illusion detonating the unconscious… the symmetry and exactitude of silence beyond all compass…. an intricate camouflage… meticulous and consistent. Disinherited it tries to sanctify the air….. a silence in where stars evaporate vibrational loud and inquisitive…. freezing time by the velocity of its inner momentum of silent adrenalin. Concealing its true identity isolating me in unknown realisation of what is to occur.. It resonates with constant tension waiting for unpredictability’s of indispensible voices that don’t speak….. This is a realisation of the imagination…. a vibrant insensibility…. density of unravelled thoughts that vaporise within me causing a vibration that fractures the equation of time and space in the burning crucible of my mind. Intractable proportions of silent thought…. hovering… a constant mirage of irrational calculations….. This silence forces all the tears of consequence to fall upon my face with no avail…..Then in this thunderous silence see graffiti on white walls…abstract and meaningless….Like primitive lives…those with meaning yet possess no meaning… an ungovernable democracy of fruitless endeavour… of non factual fastidiousness… a glimpse of life and its fallacy. Yet the words were spoken and written… by whom… And for why.. Now the silence punctuates and instructs…. phosphorous extinguishes itself and hides behind another truth…..The noise of the world cascades in torrents deafening… attempting to defeat… subordinate the senses in atavistic cruelty… Prowling searching for the silence… but it has gone…. disappeared in the imagination of my inner self…. an abstraction I call me….. But I know where the silence has gone….
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5
Outside the borders of this asylum’s garden not much is in bloom. Seems fastidiousness of this establishment’s gardener is derangement of decadence: ... neat little rows of pansies, followed by neat little rows of anemones, with alternate groupings of hostas and Lenten roses behind. All against the backdrop of viburnums, capped with hydrangea at each end. The airy sprays of baby’s breath and coral bells give veils of blossoms not to obscure color behind, making it all sparkle, as if some fairytale world, encapsulated by a wall of hemlock, like an evergreen iron curtain. And I am certain, I am more insane in here than beyond that gate where dandelions push through cracks of pavement and my shaking cold body is not riddled with the rainbow colored pharmaceutical salad of this insanity.
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Nov 13, 2015
Nov 13, 2015 at 4:12 PM UTC
Marginal Recovery
there is scattered verse in tertiary reasoning i am a vocabulary of one my intensity is throttled into a meek surrendering of gentle fastidiousness surrounded by a momentary court that announces there's only you, your fingernails and the measured guidance of not accidentally choking blessed am i in the house of good council a concession stand of dried fruit i stand in the ether
0
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 6:30 PM UTC
tumbleweed purpose
Senseless Falling Soaring Fastidiousness Shooting Further
0
Nov 6, 2019
Nov 6, 2019 at 1:29 AM UTC
Whirlwinds
In 2008, the British Home Office lost the data of 84,000 English and Welsh prisoners. Catastrophic events can follow on from the humblest of beginnings, in this instance the data was downloaded to a memory stick by Home Office Consultants and subsequently lost. He was not involved, nor in any way was he linked to it. Nevertheless, he feared these types of occurrences and built his life around guarding against them. He subscribed to the business maxim ‘’How you do anything is how you do everything’’. He approached all facets of his life with a fanatical fastidiousness. He lived an almost monastic life dedicated to the eradication of risk and error. Life, as most people know, can throw up its own unpredictable events. Any conceivable eventuality can transpire. As he finally choked on the apple, he didn’t quite have time to think of the horrendous banality of his end.
0
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 12:14 PM UTC
How you do anything is how you do everything
In 2008, the British Home Office lost the data of 84,000 English and Welsh prisoners. Catastrophic events can follow on from the humblest of beginnings, in this instance the data was downloaded to a memory stick by Home Office Consultants and deleted. He was not involved, nor in any way was he linked to it. Nevertheless, he feared these types of occurrences and built his life around guarding against them. He subscribed to the business maxim ‘’How you do anything is how you do everything’’. He approached all facets of his life with a fanatical fastidiousness. He lived an almost monastic life dedicated to the eradication of risk and error. Life, as most people know, can throw up its own unpredictable events. Any conceivable eventuality can transpire. As he finally choked on the apple, he didn’t quite have time to think of the horrendous banality of his end.
0
May 7, 2019
May 7, 2019 at 7:00 AM UTC
The British Home Office