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WARNER BAXTER Mar 2014
a ****** adult style limerick


*down town where girls dance on poles
for a price they'll bare their souls
they sit on your lap
you'll go fap fap fap
until you loose your control
John Cena Jul 2017
big naruto boy
to you i am a toy
u are so large
to move u i need a barge
which broke
so i cant move u
so i will feed you more
and write more of ur lore

one day u will die
and i will cry
but for now
ill fap real hard
Keyan R Oct 2018
Dear Love,

I know in my heart without a doubt even if I can never find the words to say
You are the one I am crazy about
You are the one I fap for every day
When everything doesn't feel right,
I look at you
My sun, my moon, my morning light
My happiness when all is blue
With you, I am always safe and every day you make my heart race
You're my home, my friend, and saving grace
I was asked to make a funny poem about *******
Àŧùl Oct 2016
Where would you go,
Stopping I am not,
Go if you want to go,
Remembering me you are not,
As I'm not interested,
Wishing you quicker recovery,
Wherever you'll fall,
Caring I am not,
Just go if you wanna go.

Because lonelier you left me here,
You better need not to come ever,
I have earlier survived alone as well,
You weren't here near my deathlike bed,
There had been both of my parents,
Only expecting me as a robot in return,
And I found you absent when I needed,
Oh this is only the revelation of my life,
Such a fool I expected you to be my wife.

Now I can imagine what I was spared from,
I was spared from the splitter-splatter stuff,
And of course the kitchen's blitter-blatter bluff,
Because I am sure that I can prepare better food,
Much better than your fickle-minded self could,
Lovelier is my hand's company to my big head,
I imagine stuff and fantasize howsoever it feels fit,
And of course, I don't need your help for that,
I just go fap-fap, splitter-splatter & blitter-blatter.
A super-naughty poem!

HP Poem #1217
©Atul Kaushal
george Mar 2017
about my childhood
and left me naked on my bed

twitter won't stop me from this pain
Mortal Kombat doesn't feel the same
my youth, my eyes, my thoughts, my dreams, and my ******* brain
tell me how can one man stay sane?
When they swallowed their imagination
for corporation money
and left us with a staggering minds of a sheep
and a soul that doesn't bleed

thoughts spilled out of my memories
my soul left for dead for centuries
gave myself a long nap
questioning my existence formed gap
wake up wake up wake up

I don't blame myself for my sad existence
beyond the ageing testimony between my childhood and my grave
but yes i buried my youth under the stars
it faded and disappeared with the birds and the flowers of our time
left it in an early morning cartoon show
cat n mouse

pathetic brillance

roller blades and computer rooms
nostalgic backdrop inside my head
crumpled beneath the nights and the sunrise

what a sad way to die?
fap, fap, fap

truth.

social reality-- numbness boyhood dreams
beyond the lost souls dreaming for the highest beam
lost and found? no
life goes on
untrue Jun 2015
****** f@ggot shill and f@g
oldf@gs newf@gs rolling hard
trips and dubs and even quads
but OP won't deliver

rate us, hate us, sauce pls now
in this thread we save a cat
mods, is this under 18?
the /b/etards at it yet again
but we don't talk about it

cringe us rekt us make us laugh
this thread's preventing suicide
****** racism sexism ****
we mostly rate body parts in /soc/

normies not welcome
******, alpha, femanon
is a girl? **** or ****!
welcome to the internets
pics or it didn't happen

gore thread? not enough!
self-hate, ponies, rule 34 fap
the "cesspool of the internet"
is really not that bad
oh dear god what have i done
also, am i allowed to write "******"?
Rumpelstiltskin caught the clap
Miss Muffet got a slap
Breadcrumbs leading to the gap,
Indicated on Grimm’s map.
The Magic mirror’s spewing crap
Helping the Huntsman continually fap.

The Third Little Pig, stripped of his red wig.
Booked a new gig, on Cinderella’s oil rig.

Snow White fell back asleep.
Creepy dwarves tentatively creep
The Big Bad Wolf’s known to weep.
Staring regretfully at the flock of Lil Bo-Peep.
Mother Goose’s gone years without a peep.
Recognizing that royalties shouldn’t come cheap.

Humpty Dumpty forgot the wall, forewarned of the inevitable fall.
Beauty left Beast at the mall, said kind words, but never did call.
Affixation Aug 2015
Gap
My name is gap
And I really like to fap
I only like girls that sav likes
But most of these girls are so Y I K E S
Girls like S Q and Jordan
I think I like them more den
Sav and his love for big tingz
Like bowler and how she singz
These girls are all so full of meat
I can't really see that their beat
They are sav's trusty steed
And it is now time for me to do my deed
Matt Apr 2017
A Fantasy
I met Him at the gym
He smiled with a grin
As he notice how
I flirted with him

He said,
Hi, "My name is Tryone"

Well, I introduced myself
Told him he looked
In great health

As he deadlifted
500 pounds

Nice and tall
6 foot three

Oh how he could
Punish me

This black man
Named Tyrone

We worked out
Together
Several times a week

He was so hot
It was hard to speak

Such powerful
**** cheeks
This black man named
Tyrone

One day
He invited me
To his home

I went ahead
And turned off
My phone

As I new
The fun was about
To begin

I dropped to my knees
And began to blow
About 9 inches
You know

Was this black man
Named Tyrone

I laid back
On the couch
Head over the side

My feelings for him
I could not hide

The next thing
I heard was "open wide"

During this afternoon
With Tyrone

It's only natural you see
To let a ******* use me
That's the way it should be

As I greedily
****** and blew

His towering meat
Swelled and pushed

Did he want to
Stick it in my ****?

There was no
Saying no to Tyrone

No more feelings or shame
Life is a fun game

And after 30 min
It begin to rain
Ropes of thick hot cream

Oh what a dream

He was quite rough
And a bit mean

He told me
He always got his way

He made me ****
And lick his *****

Even called me
His "*** doll"

As I gulped down
His creamy mess

But his **** still throbbed
And he wanted more

He said,
" I want a *******
**** *****"

And with that he threw me on the bed

He told me
To take all my clothes off
And stick my ***
In the air

I did it with wild abandon
Who really cares?

As we both
Got tested for stds

Please
Please

As he rubbed ****
On his massive **** head

And I spread my *** cheeks wide

Every bisexual man's heart
Should be filled with pride
Before he takes his first ****

fap, fap, fap
I heard him rub ****
All over his stick

Yes he had a gorgeous *****

As he slowly entered my ***
Ahhhhh I groaned like a *****

Yes God ******
I can take more

As his entire shaft
Disappeared in my ***

***** deep now
Isn't it fun

To have this massive black ****
In my ***?

And ****
What the homophobes say

Nice and gentle at first
I did not want to be hurt

And he respected me

I felt him swell, felt him grow
He rubbed my ***** you know

As his member
Expanded inside

His hands on my shoulders
He began to pump
And **** me as I screamed...
Tasteless Jun 2018
How do i spend my nights..
I do not sleep
I do not write
I do not eat.. well.. almost

Lying there on my bed,
Feeling  confusion , chasing wishful dreams
Dreams i am missing out on, as i follow another

Absorbing information.
Wishing to know it all,
Aspiring to lick it all,
Intending to devour it all.

Staying up, trying to beat that constant ticking.
Hours go by in this delusion...

OH! Its 2 A.M
This is how it begins
Staying up trying to hoard it all,
useful, useless alike.

Like a dog on a treat.
Not caring what it eats.
Not caring what it spills
It satiates its hunger.
But mine only perpetuates itself
The more i chew, the more i swallow.

AH! its 3 A.M
Minutes passing by now, feeling this
comforting exhaustion.
Thanks to this hand crafted insomnia
I flick through these websites like chapters in a book.

Internet is my haunt
In these wee hours
For i got addicted to it,
Before i could grab a novel.

****! It's 5 again
I steal quick gazes from my screen
Watching the darkness grow dim.
Time to wrap it up,
And rid you of this rant.
Another night well wasted,
I guess, i'll just fap and pant.

Will get ready to commit this mistake again,
For now, I try to cup those dreams back in again.
Dramatic representation how I spend my nights. :P
Dennis Willis Apr 2021
Zap
rap snap wrap fap
lap lap lap hap

blap

alap alapa lap slap
flap flap ed flap
tap ed tap tap

knap

hap that cap
yap yap yap
sap hap?

no hap no sap
wap yo crap
trap
icannought
Jason Apr 2021
Renegade, rebel, foul-mouthed malcontent
Abused, abandoned, discarded, youth misspent
Smoker, toker, poem-writing music maker
***-sellin', ****-it-oh-wellin', no-****-taker

I'd probably have had a criminal empire if I'd kept my course
Instead of being an estranged father and statistic of divorce
Unemployable, unstable, emotionally unavailable basket-case
Polo-shirt-khaki-wearin' fashion-victim of the corporate rat race

I coulda been a gangsta, a rocker, an actor, or even a ****-star
It woulda been easy with my childhood and my broken-*** heart
I coulda had money, mansions, cars, endless drugs, and ***-on-tap
Instead, I gave that all up for a hopeless hope and a lonely fap

I guess that sounds kinda pathetic, but even that's alright
Because it won't be long before little man yells, "Dad, let's play Fortnite!"


© 04/10/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved

Let's face it, I've always had a dad body. :p
LeRoy Williams Jun 2019
Hello poetry is public matters Id say because I walk this streetlamp eating nutty butterfingers total blown down deeper than the throat young yella bone chicanos can fap maniacally as ***** ***** dancers watch me much much munch. I am Hello Poetry yet Id **** a microphone in the closet because my eggcrates ache grunge album that do not belong to Yyclef. I lied **** head but butter me up buttery enough that my under pants don't snag my inchy tagged and tickled gnome. "Oh Underpant we ****** Old Gregs crack pipes he leaves on cold countertops this month for this be Off season." I weep. Why not my pans or my pun tease these ******* growing mickey mouse thunb prints before my nuts become cheese. Good greaf I'ffy if me sneechy ***** beach teacher teaching toddler that the fingers thumper. Thump my thumb. Pinterest my buns before I *** critters all in tune to teepee creaking creeps kitchen chicken finger fetching fists before *** educari gets carry on that vibes to Marshals mashed potato. Mathers you do matter much. I love the gleam of your crust. Tears up to the Beautiful song that becomes songs and weeps once more.

— The End —