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laura Apr 2018
wanna twist and shout
fist and clout
the silent wrestle
a lapse of consciousness
bereft of science
and hard as metal

black and blue
***** girl, ***** pronoun game
strewing the fate in a storm
of words strung like wire

what do you want?
don’t call me like a woman
and don’t call me one either
you don’t got any other way
to communicate

it’s blame it on anything you don’t got
close the chapter and the verse
with a love curse
an empty ball and chain
because it’s all you and no me
i’m dumb as rocks but you have one instead of a brain
Helena Abondano May 2018
the proud moments of greatness
seem much louder than
the strenuous, arduous
f
  a
     l
        l

                                  But it is then
                      when our bodies collapse
                    and the crowd no longer claps
                     that the brevity of stars is felt
                 and the call of the siren is heard
              rising from the depths of our humanity
  
( it is only then we learn
that no being deserves disregard
nor should be made a deity
for failing is part of the duality  
that comes with the mortal experience)
derailed-trains Jul 2016
found myself falling asleep after 3 am
then you came and woke me up shortly at 5:41
shouting
i've never liked harsh good mornings
i can almost hear you say "stop oversleeping"
but how do i tell you "i barely slept"
how do i tell you "there are demons that keep me up at night"
and "they all had your face"
how do i tell you those

one time i dreamed of you walking on the beach
holding hands with someone else
i couldn't breathe when i woke up
the sound of me drowning in the sea of our tragedies
kept playing like a broken record
at the back of my head

i can't remember the last time i had to sleep at night
without having to worry about the next day
maybe it was before that evening-- you came home drunk
i read a text from your phone that said
"Take care. I love you." from a number that isn't mine

lately i've been staying up too long
long enough to let the lights from
my consciousness die out
just so i won't notice the demons that wear your face
play hide-and-seek beneath my lids
every time i close my eyes
It's not that I want to fail. . .
just that, if I am going to anyway
why not do it spectacularly?

At least there's gossip. . .
that counts for some,
-thing, doesn't it?

Doesn't it?
Paras Bajaj Jan 17
I think of you in the running showers.
I think of you in the scent of flowers.
I think of you when I am asleep.
I think of you in the memories I keep.

I think of you when I am low and high.
I think of you when I fail and try.
I think of you in summer and snow
I think of you in dark and glow.

I think of you in wrong and right.
I think of you in black and white.
I think of you in scars and screams.
I think of you in hopes and dreams.

-Paras Bajaj #PoetrybyParas
Instagram : @mr.parasbajaj
L B Nov 2018
Make No Promises; Take No Vows
Mean what you say
Say what you mean
Leave room
for the failing
for forgiving

The comp for compassion
goes a long way
or so they say--
'cross the heavens even
burning dross all the way

We are not what we were
nor what we seem
Leave room for the failing
for what we will be

Post-Paradisal
bush-whack of living
For what lies between

Let your yes be yes
and your no---no, and

Know

anything beyond that....

falls short...
or for sure will be
of the failing
The original concept of sin was anything short of perfection. and we have all fallen short.
AndSoOn Dec 2018
a night, one warm summer evening
strong lyrics, songs we listen to,
thinking about each other, not wanting to admit it

one touch, one kiss
a lots of alcohol, no judgment, candid talks
not wanting to change, afraid to loose it all

hard, dark, twisted life
pain and sorrow, kind smiles and honesty
fear, terror, panic attacks

us, in a little box, far away for life
warm and cozy, alone, safe
on one's own and cold, sad then tired
Alyssa Underwood Jan 2016
Lord, let them see me as a fool
If only You’ll undo me
Take pride and self and rights away
But beckon me come to Thee

If failing is what humbles me
If falling is what breaks me
Then let me fall and fail and faint
Just come, possess and take me

You are the One my soul desires
There is none other for me
So bring the storms, the trials, the woes
For in those best I know Thee

You see the pain my heart requires
To mold and make me like Thee
So send the fires which please You most
I will not fear what strikes me

I trust Your goodness and Your grace
They shall not ever fail me
You hide my life safe in Your grasp
Though hell’s worst fiends assail me

You’ve chosen me as Your own child
A treasure ‘cause You found me
You’ve named me Your beloved bride
With glory You’ll soon crown me!
Tamara Walker Jul 2018
An artist,
I’m scared to be left to my thinking atoms and nuclear cells
Why solder my raining thoughts to reality
In my head I can’t trust these clockworks
Rusted gears precariously tricking forward
Tensions unbalance on a pinched nerve ending
Hesitate I retract to others knowing what I don’t know
That once I start I might fail
I don’t do what I want to
I don’t speak when I want to
When I so desperately need to
Before I explode
Violently, into a void
Void of emotionless urges
An artist like me if I so believe I am
Doubtfully attempts to act in the face of thunder
Only to cowardly hide in a cat’s whisker
Inner bricking delays outer progress
Progress I provocatively flaunt to the alive bodies
While knowing the fallacious congrats is unwarranted
I don’t believe in magical rainbow kitten surprise wishes
But I won’t also hide my love
With the internal flame dimming
I want to act the part by flipping over the stones
For the mysteries hidden away
To see them crawling out
My untapped desires
This is a piece from a much longer poem called "Plenty Words." It's about my feelings as an artist without much to say.
Cné Mar 2017
i am naked
and been exposed
i deserve it
i suppose
pretending
at mending
a broken-ness
and making
such a mess
of things
among an audience
never once
thinking
of the pain
i'd be bringing
of a secret
i behold
i regret
i never told
the tears
i cry
i, now
disguise
failing
to realize
my character
being
compromised
Do you ever have one of those dreams where you find yourself in public literally naked with failed attempts at hiding? ... Nothing like starting my day with anxiety.
do clouds obscure your
lite-brite stars tonight,
or is this clouding
within my own eyes?
polaris, polaris,
i have been unfaithful
and forgotten you, companion
to a young father, a young
mother, though they didn't
know it yet, floating all night
along the churchill, too lazy
(too contented?) to even
stop to make camp, both
of us half-sleeping, her
head my heaven, her
pillow my chest, but me
always with one eye glancing
up in appreciation, like you had
a secret to share, 433 light-years
away, like you knew how many
souls were in that freighter
canoe on our way back to
the world, one more than
when we left... was it really
almost 30 years ago?

the river is iced completely over on
this night, this night, this awful
******* night that i will
never forget a moment
of, and i need to make
my way to the lands to the
south before the winter sets
in, through the forests that she
fed, and tonight the adultery
against that guiding star and
my foolish ways have caught
up with me, fully, completely... but
please, i beg you, take me back pole star,
i promise not to stray so far, not again,
not ever, forever, not forever ever,
and i will never demand any
other boon, save i may ask one, one
last final wish... but that too is dream.

yes, my past has finally
caught up with me, and my
north star is gone, the heavens
now stand so empty, a sword piercing
my heart that so deserves piercing,
the tip of a flaming sword as sharp
as these failing eyes used
to be, sharper than i could
ever have dreamed of, no,
this can't be real, this can't
be real, this cannot be, that's
it, i'm sleeping, for this is my
worst nightmare, and nightmares
only come when you sleep, don't
they? don't they? DONTTHEY???

i know
there is no one
no one out there, not
anymore, the smell of gangrene
has driven her away, as it did
her mother those years before, by
nurture or nature, i have failed
beyond miserably the only really
important job i've ever had,
the only really important
job that there even is,
and i can't stop these
weak, disgusting, self-pitying
******* tears, what kind of man
am i as i cry for my own pain and
abandon hers, crawling like
something slug-like along a
memory of rocky outcropping
of our once precious canadian shield,
crawling in circles, my face pressed
into the rotting fibre so sadly wasted
on this forest floor, redundant when
the mills all closed down, wishing on
you anyways through this blindness,
the most impossible of all wishes,
but most likely the one you've heard
more than any other through aeons:

to go back in time armed with
the knowledge that i have now,
saving her from my same fate,
being the father i wish i had been,
even while not quite knowing where
i went wrong aside from rotten genes,
but then who am i kidding, i know as
much as i know anything that
somehow this is all my fault.
i don't know how exactly,
i don't know the mechanics,
but this is pure me, the
only possible point
of origin. i'm so sorry.
i'm so so so sorry.

i know of my culpability
as well as i used to know how
to find you, true north, before
north, south, east, west,
all blended into one tonight,
and there is nowhere left for
me to go. or maybe only
one place left, and how
i ache for that last ice
cold embrace, like i
used to ache for the
warmth found between
thighs; she is the last lover
of us all, and she doesn't
have any discrimination
between thighs freezing
cold, and eyes doubly so,
waiting just beyond the
light fading so fast
and all goes blurrier
and blurrier until
all i see is the
dark, the dark,
dark... dark...
lights out.
tl;dr

clouds obscure stars
pole star, i need you
crawling in circles

& putting the week to rest

54.40 - alcohol heart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZTTlQG0m3U

for my daughter, i hope you break free, but i cannot do it for you
FAILING GEOGRAPHY

A drop of blood.

On the Indian Ocean.

Blue turning slow
l y red

as the Indian Ocean
is engulfed by this

singular drop of
blood

coast to coast
a crimson sea.

At first there is
no pain.

The thumb remains
unaware it has been

cut.

Paper cut.

First, the heart skips a beat
then the pain ~ rushes in.

The continent of India
invaded by my blood.

I close the school atlas
in fear teacher will see.

Scream silently
put my thumb in an inkwell.

Disaster co-
-auglates.

The ****** pages
stick to ****** together.

The Indian continent
ripped apart

allowing one to see
to the next sea

on the other page.

I fail
Geography.
I have grown old,
My hairs are all white,
And my eye-sight is failing rapidly;
I no longer trust my body.
I am now left
With the strength of my mind
And the will-to-live
Which make me think and reflect
In my past experiences.
The intimacy with myself is rent
And I have never cared to inquire
About the kind of world hidden within me;
I have never thought
About my final moorings
And I have never been informed
About the sweet nectar of true happiness
Available everywhere.
I have tried to wander on my own
And refused miracles,
But where ever I go
I swiftly follow me
As if I exist yet do not exist,
To remind me that I am always alone.
ryn Oct 2014
Escape pods*
Ferried fears
  Gaping heart
   Falling tears
    Dishevelled mind
     Emotional unrest
    Watered ground
    Familiar guest
   Questioned answers
  Unanswered questions
  Glassy eyes
   Increased tension
    Dissipating hope
     Chewed confidence
    Broken spirit
   Unwelcomed sentence
  Failing health
Unstable mind
Choked fingers
Flying blind
 Pathetic plea
  Stretched thin
    Battered insides
     Uncomfortable skin
      Eventual stop
       Frightful frights
        Perceived freedom
         Within sight
        Bruised being
     Absent gods
    Relying upon
   *
Escape pods
Don't ask...I don't even know...
Iska Feb 2018
The false crisendo of your words
Grate against my every nerves.
Wandering round
With ****** feet
How many expectations
Have I failed to meet?

What more do you want
Of my sorry soul
When I cannot bring
My self to breath anymore?

So I watch your hopes
all tumbling down
It feels quite cold
Down here in the ground.
I'm sorry that I wasn't enough
I tried to be what you asked of me
But I didnt think it'd be So tough.

My weary bones creak and ache,
My wrist all burned and ******,
Can you not be quite just once for my sake?

I understand the gravity.
I know Im failing at life,
But you dig right in,
spreading the cavity,
How to ignore the strife?

Whispered arguments bleed through the walls
How much longer until we fall?
Through the floor straight down to hell
All because I could not tell.

Should I weep in pain,
And slave away,
To satisfy you're whimsical ways?
Should I sell my soul,
And bite my tongue,
Just to keep the wallet full?
But "your so young,
You've no excuse,
So bend your back,
Put those hands to use."

Welcome to life.
Put away your pain,
No time for strife,
No time for play,
Just nod you head,
Exit the stage,
And get a job,
So you'll be payed.

I'd sooner live a poor church mouse,
Then lose myself in persute of a house.
But no, I'll smile my candy grin,
And talk with sugar sweet.
Hide the weight of the pain,
So your expectations, I'll meet.
Some times it's just not enough.
Pat Dec 2018
She hides herself behind a mask
Building, her main task,
piece by piece. Lies piling up
She buries, she conceals, she performs, she perfects.
Her essence deep inside
a mere presence left behind
Eyes blind
Never can they know
Never can she show
How could she? Who would she be? Who even is she?
Is she even any more?
Broken fragments, shattered shadows
Always trying
yet failing.
Always failing
yet smiling.
A spiral of despair constantly consuming her,
yet smiling.
Sinking, drowning, failing
Always failing
Always wondering
Is she even any more?
Is she even good enough?
Piece by piece, walls fall apart
No longer burying nor concealing
nor performing nor perfecting.
Breathing at last, free from the past
for broken means fixed
No faking, no smiling
From now on she is.
Tay Mar 2015
The failing use of my right arm,
Isn't actually the failing use of my right arm.
It's just a way of keeping time.
And time is ticking.

He says he loves me.
He swears on his life that he loves me.

But love, I've come to understand,
Isn't warm like I'm told.
Love is a trap.
A greedy monster preying on my hope
And feasting on my unanswered prayers.
It's take and don't think to give back.
It's pushing until I have nothing left.
Nothing left of even my own.
Love is never looking in the mirror again,
Because you're disgusted with what he has made you into.

Long sleeves and high collars,
No plans on a Friday night,
Warning looks and cold eyes,
Bruised ribs and shattered breaths
Hands above my head and legs pinned under him.
But, still, he swears he loves me.

The failing use of my heart,
Isn't actually the failing use of my heart.
It's just a way of keeping time.
*And my time is up.
ryn Nov 2014
Shhh...can you hear me?
I'm hardly a pin
I'm hardly a mile away
Shhh...do you know the pain I'm in?

Look...can you see me?
I'm hiding behind shadowed eyes
And a mask of smiles
Look...will you look past the honest lies?

Taste...can you palate the bitterness?
Sharp and acrid accusations
Dancing on wagging tongues
Taste...will you swallow what is given?

Touch...can you feel my failing muscles?
Every fibre losing this very battle
A futile fight I must concede
Touch...will you save the pieces that crumble?

Read...can you make sense of my heart?
Pounding behind its bony cage
Pumping red into my desperate nib
Read...can you understand the ink staining my page?

Shhh*...can you hear me?
I don't think you can
For I have ceased to speak
In the universe of man
Poetic T Jul 2018
Incandescent virtues , yet I'm a drought within .
I read tealeaves in mouldy cups of our tainted futures.
Our wicks that never saw the light, even though burnt out.
Untenable sight that we drank deeply on, but still thirsted for.
Cindra Carr Dec 2010
Sun-filled mornings burn bright
Warm smells of life dashing by
Squint eyed despair peeking out of the dark
Bright memories gone degraded by time
Broken life shuffles slowly by
Rings click on the spokes of a chair
Wheels turning slowly around
Bumps on the door jamb from failing sight
Lost mornings sunny dipped in light
Burns on the minds sticking to life
Soft darkness covering slow moving despair
Bright days dissolving into lost nights
Squint eyed despair and fumbling thoughts
Slow moving wheels and dangling legs

cc1210
Bryce Jul 2018
Amid the verbose magicians
Seeking kinships
And sailing deep into their arduous mists
Watching them peddle their afternoon
To a handful of smiling children holding their breath
Amazed in gentle body trick

The older men of age
Leaning deep into their creased chins
Stroking the grizzled fat
Blinding light of soul
Staring down the barrel of life
Striking the enemy one last time
And yet smiling
sober,
Met of match,
taking care of their kids.

Then there's the cold-clocked dudes
On the phone pushing buttons
In a button-up raglan
Lost indistinct
the promised land
The golden shores swept away by
inconvenient time
Left shopping in an auto mall
"Won't you look at the time?"
7.07 APR
Boy what a steal!
And Steve maddened and screamed
As the lines blurred instinctual between opposing teams
And the oven dinged a great alabaster slant
Leaning towards the new millenitants

Rise up!
***** the wheel
Turn the axel from pistons
To alkaline metal
And doubt with great monumental
Quality
That the machine borders all
And we cannot retreat

And while I sift bouyantly between the waves
Searching the puzzle piece within the molecules
Reconnecting with the things
And representing
dreams on a 66 hertz screen
I call rather failing
Towards a black rocked shore
Towards the sweet Dorigen
Of my dreams
Finding an integral of time
And space

And calculating the intangible *****
Of my desmise
With the imaginary constiutent
Of that lighted mind.
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