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Nobody Sep 2017
Your suffering is always greater than mine,
you claim your fears are bigger.
Whine your feelings are better than mine,
insist my feelings are simpler.

Try to laugh my feats away like a joke,
but my will is more forward than yours.
Now don’t expect any warmth from me,
my spirit won’t be ignored.

You think you can quiet my defiance,
but I'm used to standing alone;
still these ego trips never get old,
they only harden my resolve.

So you timidly try and silence me,
then make excuses to escape.
‘Cause your wits won't handle me long,
I’m the one you can’t sedate.
Kara Jean Jun 2016
Genetically built ******, so they say
Christian dysfunctional stability,
wasn't helping
A mom praying every night for a force reckoning
Shoving me into the light,
I've already seen
A mothers nightmare,
already in the making
I convinced myself:
Compulsive
Impulsive and
Explosive
Creates constructive thinking
I guess what I'm saying is,
"**** it, I'm unique"
Bad Luck Jul 2018
The difference between actions and habits,
     is often measured by the person you're asking.  
One bump, one line, one half ounce...
All shared by people you don't even give a **** about.

These chemicals make me sick --
              Limitless...Why quit?
              When it's only ten bucks for a hit like this?
Even Jesus Christ would have gotten addicted,
              if drugs in his day were half this good.

"Yeah, I'm smashed -- but I promise I can drive fine."
      Walk and push the limits of a real fine line...
If I don't **** myself, or someone else... I'm happy.
       Stare death in his eyes, wink, and start laughing.

Gasping as I swerve lanes --
Stay safe, get paid. Mundane daily.
Living a-live.. Eat. Sleep. Dream. Get laid.  
Chase feelings.

           Please, just feel me now.
                                    You know me, right?

           Please, just feel me now.
                                    You love me, right?


I want to melt with you -- let our souls collide...
Dissolve the boundaries between students and teachers.
        To bridge the gap in the great divide
        No secrets between us -- bleed into the speakers.

Feel the air in your chest, and ask God for a reason...
To stay or leave Him.
He makes excuses...

                                                     ­      ... Believe Him.
"Bad Luck: In a Wakeful Contradiction" is now available on Amazon in paperback!

Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1691941182
L B Jul 2018
An early evening gust
broke the back of the day's blaze
Still 90 degrees at eight
in orange haze
Sweat runs down my neck
Through the gorge between my *******
The wind lifts my linen shirt
runs its hands along my sides
reviving memory
of Forest Park
of a blanket in the grass

Where the pines trace
so many faces
Crackling popping kids
stolen matches, running
screaming victorious!
Blowing tin cans up with fire crackers
Bicycles, sparklers, fireworks at dusk
That whole afternoon
I spent hammering caps

Noise really makes us kids
really
especially
annoying

Mom wants us out!
Gone! All of us!
No needs. No excuses!
No cookies! No slices of bologna!
“No more Kool Aid!
Out now!
Out!”

That evening I tried
to dismiss the itchy sweat
of stupid-sister-Suzy-matching-sun-suits
at Gino's family picnic
When some kid
(I don't know?)
between the rigatoni and the sweet corn
Some kid
tosses a sparkler
into box of fireworks
I don't know?
whether to cry or laugh
I was pretty scared
Rockets going off across the lawn
and onto porch
Craze of colors through the trees
Some at eye-level horror!
But the sight of Aunt Nedda
diving under picnic table
Stockings, garter belt upended
Capsized beyond her caring
of uplifted dress

Some images just stay with you, ya know?

July 4th always lands for me
on a firework's ***
"Caps"  are little red rolls of gunpowder dots, originally made to give a snap to toy guns of the 1950s.  We figured out that by layering them and using a hammer, you could get a bigger crack.
Traveler Nov 20
I don't always mean
These words I say
Nor these things I recklessly do
In the pitch dark of night
I suddenly awake
And frantically reach for you
Somehow you're still here
Then I realize my greatest fear
To be alone in this broken world
A single man without a girl
So I must admit
I need your love
Even though
I abhorred the crutch
Nothing is as it's suppose to be
Thank  god
For cursing me!
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Traveler
Salmabanu Hatim Aug 2018
Excuses,excuses,excuses,
I am tired of you lazies,
For once why don't you handover your homework on time,
Thus, make my life devine.
Don't tell me your little sibling tore your homework,
Or you were absent, such bad luck,
Your grandmother spilled tea on your maths sheet,
Here, to give you is not fit.
I am tired of your lame pretexts,
Finish at break,I will be less vexed
What!You  finished your homework and you left it at home,
Well, call your mum to bring it when she comes,
I didn't understand the topic, can you please explain,
What were you doing when I went over it again and again?
I started to do my homework when the lights went off,Sir,
Most homes now have inverters
or generators.
I know you find the tasks I give you a bore,
Do you think marking them at home I adore?
So, please help me not to spoil your break or give you detention.
Do your homework on time and with great attention.
Gods1son Nov 2018
Dear Excuses,

I'm writing you, to bring something to your ears...
Do you know that you have been cheated?
You deserve to be awarded
As one of the most produced products through the years

You are one of the most diverse brands that I've ever seen
That's what you've always been
And sadly, you will ever be

Let me make this clear
You are manufactured everywhere
From the North to the South
From the East to the West

You are very very versatile
An easy substitute for plans, goals and desires
You have trampled a lot of dreams
And caused them to retire

With all your forms of existence
You are easily delivered in a simple sentence
You have affected many in different areas
You have ruined a lot of careers

I wish you could be banned from production
But making you is a choice
Avoiding you requires determination
Determination is also a choice!
Kmary Jul 2018
I used to hold onto your words
that love wasn’t always on time

That maybe love
was more like a stubborn flower,
that needed many seasons to bloom

But somewhere along the lines
I realized that our hourglass was titled

That our relationship was built
on a temporary foundation;
lined with excuses
and oh so many
   betrals.

And for the longest time
I began to put question marks behind
all your hellos and goodbyes?

Thinking back, I wish I listened
to all the good advice and intuition
I stuffed at the back of my closest
waiting for a later date…..

When I would realize
that you would only ever
see me as a visitor

And since you left,
I was forced to build in your absence-
a place where I learned to properly
treat the new resident
                 I now call my home.
Xallan Jan 11
Go hard, or go home, right?
I'd rather cut off my hands at the wrists
Than make a little incision.
No temptation to take a blade to my throat,
Then, because I wouldn't have any hands,
Just bleeding stumps, see?
No hands, no grip,
No blood, no life.
Nothing but a pitiful excuse for a body
Without life. With severed hands,
And nothing to serve with
But glances of pity and sob stories
To warn your children not to be like me.
Useless excuse for a person
Who handicapped themselves!
It's so ridiculously stupid, it's downright comical.
The men who freed themselves will
Laugh their little heads off at this.
They might take a look
At the space that their hands compose so
Effortlessly
And perhaps wonder empathetically
What might drive me to discard so many
Perfectly designed atoms designed subpar.
Maybe a brighter one will realize
The truth- it's psychological
No hands, no touch
No touch, no feel.
Right?
annh Dec 2018
Maybe...
I will...
So one day...
I could...
If only...
I might...
Just maybe...
I should...

Why don't...
I think, really...
To be frank...
I'm not sure...
It's possible...
Probably...
The odds...
One in four...

Within reason...
Yes, quite...
And besides...
Who knows when...
It's not...
In the meantime...
You know me...
Then again...

Given the chance...
Nevertheless...
They would never agree...
It's likely...
Of course...
Yet, there's no guarantee...

All things being equal...
However...
You can rarely depend...
On second thoughts...
Sometime soon....
Well, that's settled then!
A rhyming litany of excuses.
a M b 3 R Sep 2018
you
saw u walking with that other girl
smiling so happily
i think its jealousy
so don’t mind me
u talk to her
every single day
yet u throw excuses at me
maybe it’s not just jealousy
its just u
not making ur priorities
beth haze Oct 2018
Your mouth spills
nothing more than
empty promises.
Said you'll be here tonight
but don't get in 'till
four in the morning.
Always busy but never for
yourself, could you stop
lying straight to my face?
Tired of the excuses people
make on your name, can't even
defend yourself or it's just
that you don't care?
Looking really foolish with
the indifference that you're so
sure I deserve after you left me
waiting to see if this could change.
It didn't.
- selfish.
L B Nov 2017
What She Look Like?
  
…Like one
tenderly hushing
water in her lap
Elemental peace
No place to go
No more to be
…Like the ocean
in the background
of a photo on a warm spring day
belying
rage
and the random possible
thrash--

out!

at all guilty ******* in her path
Toss in the next sentient soul
who should happen to pass
within range
who should have seen
who should have known
what a storm could do….

Moody in the aftermath
and sorrier than rain
With the tide in retreat
grumbling excuses
Hiding out waist-deep in dusk’s Merlot
Waiting for night to sleep it off

to heal the rifts
cleanse the shame

Rising
yellow, bright— and

“What the hell happened, here?!”

____


Her hair
a winter’s tragedy of trees
upside down—
No wait— the wind has put her right
to ragged random branches
swaying, wet with intermittent hues
of dark and silver
caught in collar, flying inelegant and free
at the shoulders of the levee
tossed and softening shyly
sagging jaw and nose a stump of tree
All perspective changes…

if you watch a while—

She’ll raise her eyes
into the sunset
to catch an eagle
entering
flight

…and then you might…

___

She looks like—
a pudgy robin
querying grass
mud soaked
that hides the fire of her breast
tugging at a worm
more than half her length
“I will feed them, **** you!
Give it up, you son of a snake!”
_____

...Don’t miss her hour of music though
for anything
Encroaching darkness
from the rooftops
she listens to the hearts she breaks

Remember this in winter
she can give but she will take
it out on February
when you’re longing
for her
Only male robins do the singing; females do the choosing.  

There are very few recent  photos of me.  Thus this poem.
L B Apr 2017
They would have given a lot
those paste-skinned kids
with straw for hair
and knobby knees
Not that frail— it seems

Beneath grayish strings
through black rims
one cracked lens screams—
Gets nothing!
Changes nothing!
Ritual words fall—
a rusted refrigerator
shoved over a railing from the second floor

Barking dogs tied to the radiator of misery
fed on rough-house excuses for kindness

Why do people keep children?

Larger than average eyes
huge foreheads of genetic wrong
******* childhood downstairs
while mother is sleeping
I can get used to the smell of cats
Human ***** is not so—
different?
and if I didn’t change my clothes for a week

What do children know?

Jenny cuddles a starving kitten
then releases it to where
they disappear...
one generation after another
Famished eyes
devour anything offered
words...food...***...God

Screams from the mats of string and gray
Scald the frantic instant badly
I watch her bolt beyond explanation
Night gives no reason to let her live....

My faith went the way the kittens go
Hope and a small girl
blend beyond blackness
ryn Sep 2014
Sun up till sun down
Trapped in a perpetual frown
Moon comes then she goes
Drops free fall from my nose

Waking hours in the daylight
Aimless motions; clumsy, puppet-like
Waking hours in the night
Uncomfortable in my own skin and psych

Sleeplessness be my companion
Restlessness be my actions
Despondence be my demon
Crest fallen be my reason

Frantically sifting through my head
Vertically upright or supine in bed
Compartmentalising might be key
To fend off self inflicted insanity

Desperation hangs overhead; ripe and bruised
Excuses upon excuses ridiculously overused
Furiously typing before my mind curds
Hopes of finding peace in these unspoken words
Darkness is upon me... Please excuse my rantings
Nat Lipstadt Oct 2013
October 2013

for Maria and Logan...

you need two hands, one foot.
count my years.
each finger, worth a decade.
each toe, well, a century...

birthdays.

point of inflection,
point of opportunity,
presents itself,
to rewrite history.

a second coat of paint,
gift-wrapped in weak excuses.
how I lied, how I ain't,
grimm-fated fairy tales
somebody created.

invisible suits of gold-cloth
worn to my party of
past rewrit and
future foretold.

one single thought,
memory,
seizes my heart,
as I fall to my knees.
cracks my temperate ease,
renders open the
woof and weave
of recycled deceptions,
causing all to be revealed
and ask,

what if the poetry ceases?

you know prostrate?
you taste grief?

have you not but
one pain,
one act,
one deed,
one memorization,
act of cowardice,
act of desertion,
mistake maden, taken,
for which
forgiveness
can never
be given,
be taken,
attained?

do, does, did.

let me then
win the birthday lottery,
let floods of relief from
daily chores, not drown me,
chauffeurs to drive,
masseurs to massage,
cooks to cook,
les delicious treats,
keep theologians, logicians
on retainer, if need
explanations.

none know, can provide,
still and yet, a
priestly sacred chord,
grants relief,
absolution,
song of hallelujah
the ache of
perpetuity worry,
that ancient pain,
grows fresher daily,
the loss of one,
of my body,
my primal knot
unreasonable,
everything should be
permitted to be untied,
on my birthday, no?

this day, these days
breathe through words,
molecules of vowels,
stem cells of consonants,
the fabric, the tissues of life,
veins are a dictionary
of corpuscles,
red blood cells are
nouns of nutrients.

this day, these days,
the infection of my soul
is tempered, kept at bay,
tamped down from the
full flowering
of white blood cells
of rhyme, verse.

what if the poetry ceases?

Though the bones creak,
the body they carry. resurrect
for morning, afternoon
and evening prayers.

thrice daily poetry I recite,
roses red, violets blue,
my marrow transfused.

though my prayers refused,
the poetry act immolates
the fringes of my disease,
for which the common cure
is not currently invented....

what if the poetry ceases?

but be assured, told
scientists hard at work,
on the
forgive n' forget drug.

meantime,
take a bubble bath in
rosemary and mint
trap some words,
tap some words into
your cell phone bone,
the poetry heat that
provides aspirin relief.

through this poem,
on one day annual,
I am relieved, relived
the muse is feted, sated,

gone for few moments
concerns, worries of
exposure today,
agnostic's foxhole of hell
is dis-remembered,
the gloss returns,
the faux dispatched,

ain't birthdays grand?

what if the poetry ceases?

what rhymes with
Sorrow?
mmmmm,
could it be
Morrow?

bath drains, rosemary and mint
odors dismissed, the  Argentine disparu,
the Spanish Medievalists,
the Neo-Raphaelites,
all gone,
didn't they have birthdays too?

didn't know
the Renaissance come
and go,
and nobody
tole ya?

please recall t'is the day
after my sweet city recorded my
naissance in the
Hospital of the Flowers
on Fifth Avenue.

the 'crats put the datum
in the bureau with the
night creams and
the statistics
as follows:

on this day + a few,
six or twenty decades ago +
a few centuries,
a question was born,
and an ache that is
sometimes relieved,
by a poem song.

though do not celebrate,
t'is a day to calibrate,
review, edit, tinker,
rewrite, often a stinker.

always one thought recycles:

what if the poetry ceases?

(how will I breathe?)
Notes: my birthday was a few weeks ago. One of a number poems I've written about birthdays.  This one was modified, but only slightly for Maria and Logan.
Danielle Suzanne Mar 2017
When I'd wake alone in bed at 4am
Again
To find you passed out
on the couch
Too wasted to notice
the heart breaking in front of you
I tried every day
But you preferred synthetic hugs
and to hide in a place
where the expectations were low  
Escapes and excuses
more alluring than I could ever be
Through tears I would plead
'Why don't you want to sleep with me!?'
I shouldn't have taken it so personally

But nobody saw me cry
Especially not you
Blind to my own tears
Large doses of denial dished out
A feast for the masses
Perhaps the most powerful drug of them all
My soul mate disappeared
each day
a little more

Maybe today will be different
Hope
The beautiful motivator
Maybe today
It will be me that you choose
Naively believing
that you had control
But then I woke
alone in bed at 4am
Again
Manipulated and used
March 26th 2017
Avary Jun 2018
it's another early AM when salt tears splash my face,
they sting, but they are daisies compared to the swords I have endured with you.
it's almost half a year since you took what was not yours to take,
with your mumbled excuses and your dismissive gestures.
i brace myself, the pain looms again, i shout at it to GO AWAY,
the reminder of what you did, but it is a pain that paracetomal will not subside, because the pain is a memory;
the increasing anxiety, the thought of you inside of me when i did not want you to be there.
GO AWAY.
The person who I respect the most is the same person I pretend doesn’t exist when I see him walking towards me.

It’s not your fault
I have a million and one excuses why I don’t stop and bore you to tears
But not one of them could ever fix the fact that I never think of how you must feel when I do it
My insecurity turns talking to you into one of my biggest fears

Even though I say this now
I have a funny feeling I’ll do it again
And maybe you don’t even care
Or maybe you feel the same
All I know is that I don’t know

I feel like I’ve been a ******* sociopath my entire life and I’m just now realizing what emotions are
When I look back, I’ve always been selfish
My therapist said I had good reasons for that, but I never could except it
I used to be a wild child and even got thrown out of my fist daycare
Now I’m afraid people might reject me

When I look at you, I see pure confidence without ego
Yeah, maybe I’m a little jealous of you
But I’ll get there too
I think that’s why I’ve always been afraid to talk to you
I’ve felt inferior, and that’s not your fault

I tried to take some time to grow
But they say absence makes the heart grow fonder
And it did
And I started appreciating the time we had

Back then I felt like no one cared
Never realizing that I never cared for anyone else in return
It all makes sense now, but hindsight is 20/20

To me, passing by you is like passing by a celebrity
I don’t know what to do or say and I come up with 50 million reasons I should keep walking
This is so ******* stupid it’s its own level of *******, but I do it anyways.

If you managed to make it to the end of this, thank you so much. It means the world to me.
Thanks for reading my TedTalk manuscript
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