Late night seems to be my favorite place I promise to behave I'm not going to lie, the meaning has clouded clarity I can't help the words I speak, they come out before I think I keep telling myself I was born interesting for a reason You guessed it, Barney Manners never worked for me To be honest, I'm only capable of being Kara Jean and she is ******* amazing
i am not a good writer nor do i strive to be this is a way for me to express myself and get out all of my demons they haunt me every day from the time i wake up to the time i go to sleep sometimes though, i’m able to get away and those times, those very rare times, i am able to be free and happy
They act like foolish mice lost in a maze, with heart eyes, who only admire and send praise; so blown away, and stuck in a dumb daze. It’s amusing they excuse your wicked ways, and you can gladly starve them all for days; while smiling madly, not even fazed. They’re dim and dull, you need entertained. You can’t help it, you think, but don’t dare say, to sustain your pointless little games; that you can’t ever seem to abstain. It’s the higher ground you need to gain. So lure them in enduring your demented cage. Provoke their wrath and force them to cave, spread your foul poison to their every vein. There’s no denying they’re enslaved, locked tight in your chains.
Am I wrong to want it different Is it selfish To divulge in things that I know will lead to heartache To give myself the relief of a friend for a while, even though I know it will hurt them I know I cannot excuse this behavior But Is it not for my health For my well being No It only causes pain, again and again It is not necessary It is selfish
I close my eyes and try to hide the way I feel. The pain The loss Grief You are traveling back to Australia. To far to think about it . Traveling* Health Money I *couldn't even if I wanted to . I wish I could. But I can't I will just have to say goodbye. Meals The time . Get togethers Just one thing my brother was excluded To me that was painful That makes me feel so sad. Mental health there is a stigma Everyone is afraid . Not brave enough to confront it . Sweep it under a nice carpet.
His "I love you" came swiftly. Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof Those three words broke through my defences. At first they were an ambrosia; They sustained my life and our relationship. At least for a short time.
Then "I love you" became an excuse; For absences, and purpose-filled accidents. And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights. I pretended like "I love you" was enough...
...But it wasn't. His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds; Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls. But I rationed our good memories, I held on as tight as I could to our love And watched as it slipped through my fingers.
His "I love you"s became poison That seeped deep into my bones And turned blue skies grey, And turned light into darkness, And slowly killed whatever semblance of love I fooled myself into thinking we had left.
I cannot pick a color I love more Each is thrilling and some seem the breath of life to all the rest I loved my crayons They became my escape from misery the contrast to any given day at school
Any excuse to use them all or just one to avoid that lowest reading group the monstrosities of math If I couldn't sing it there were no letters in the alphabet I could not tell you A from Z
But you see-- That day was purple! That was all that mattered I loved its richness and its depth its mystery its royalty King Midas would have liked it, I was sure almost a religion Vestments of the priest in the times of expectation It is the explanation for
the last of day
As a five-year-old I drew my love for purple Passionate and outside all the lines-- off onto the desk I was so proud! But--
Miss Platt, so horrified asked,
What is it I was trying to do?
I didn't know....
I was suddenly ashamed and frightened too
This may have been the first time I actually touched down in reality. Been trying to take off again ever since.
The religious times of expectation were Advent for Christmas and Lent for Easter.
Pigeons in a tree All resting on one tree branch Pooing on a car
Been to work today with my Dean cleaning up a big drive and saw three pigeons in a tree and the neighbour next door wasn't please as they been pooing on his car , it did make me smile but I did feel for the owner of the car too **
the down keeps me up needing to crash but thoughts beckon i know i must pay tomorrow full moon tonight what’s your excuse? if you’re a woman don’t misconstrue i’m not a misogynist true misogyny neccitates great admiration full moon tonight what’s your excuse? i don’t care tonight gonna stay awake till collapse i dreamed Apple traded $99.00 monday morning and i bought it i’m not your type not your type not your type i read Flaubert, Zola, Nabokov i know it’s hard to see i imagine angels what do you like in your cup of tea? while taking care of neighbor’s cat Oskar decided to replace porch standard white with green light bulb i hope they like it they’re burners they’ll be gone for two weeks
The false crisendo of your words Grate against my every nerves. Wandering round With ****** feet How many expectations Have I failed to meet?
What more do you want Of my sorry soul When I cannot bring My self to breath anymore?
So I watch your hopes all tumbling down It feels quite cold Down here in the ground. I'm sorry that I wasn't enough I tried to be what you asked of me But I didnt think it'd be So tough.
My weary bones creak and ache, My wrist all burned and ******, Can you not be quite just once for my sake?
I understand the gravity. I know Im failing at life, But you dig right in, spreading the cavity, How to ignore the strife?
Whispered arguments bleed through the walls How much longer until we fall? Through the floor straight down to hell All because I could not tell.
Should I weep in pain, And slave away, To satisfy you're whimsical ways? Should I sell my soul, And bite my tongue, Just to keep the wallet full? But "your so young, You've no excuse, So bend your back, Put those hands to use."
Welcome to life. Put away your pain, No time for strife, No time for play, Just nod you head, Exit the stage, And get a job, So you'll be payed.
I'd sooner live a poor church mouse, Then lose myself in persute of a house. But no, I'll smile my candy grin, And talk with sugar sweet. Hide the weight of the pain, So your expectations, I'll meet.
Now since I advised you this Sentiment Try to apply your Fares with her Mother And if you win, which is one Compliment That you use to connect with her Brother This is just some Counsel from Ben Nevis' View Hassled to ensure you did the Right Thing For justly understand this ardent Crew Is no excuse for Procrastinating In private this Agent is unaware For him to barrage out of Deep Respect Yet keep watch for Feathers dancing in the Air They turn to Anvils; And hit your Retrospect. Listen you Two. This is why you will Learn That Family's knots tied is Best you earn.