Up all night sleep all day nothing ever gets done
My focus is deminished my goals are no longer what I loved is dead to me and my smile will never be
I feel no love anymore and no happimess for this is what I picked.I feel as if I am in a mud sinking in the earth alone and sick
I lost everything
I am so ashamed
 Trapped in  a plastic tube with a sharp point dulling with every pull
I did this to myself to hide my pain this is the new me no future no goals no self respect   and no self esteam I feel like Im insane.
I cant look
in the mirror for I am afraid of who I see just emptiness its like looking at a ghost that was once me
I pray that someday I will wake up from this hell I live .
And  someday feel alive 
Hopefully I  will survive

As the days keep  coming I see less and less one day I will awake and see no more .
There is  nothing  left ,what can I expect
what happened to me and why ?
I could never confess.

 I live a life of hell why did I allow such weakness to prevail
Its the rush of my new found friend

As its drags me down and leaves me to drown.
 Who ever thought as the  feeling was to  good, I would destroy everything I have ever known
 
 We keep chasing rush  but we will never catch its the devil with  his deceptive way oh how we will pay
I chase the high that will
Never be the same .
I've lost it all
no fortune or fame
I leave old memories and laughs for a dark future is all I see
For one day you may want  to chase the rush  please understand no one survives  this evil thrush.
As you pull back and see the red rushing thru your veins your heart starts beating and then you feel the heat crawling and pain but the excitement controls you and then drop goes the devil and you feel relieved and floating
  And then its gone
Its, over and  for a rush of endorphins
you loose everything never to be the same .
Your addicted
only making  things worse you must be insane
many years of torture many years of despair
For  now your life is  beyond repair
I cant breathe no more for all I see is darkness  no thought no feelings alone in a wooden box six foot under no high no life its over was it really worth it?