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judy smith Jul 2015
Bride and groom Erika and Joshua Garza say they thought their Durham wedding was set and all planned. The owner of the Fayetteville-based "Bragg About It Catering" company had driven up a month earlier so they could sample her wedding wares.

"She had the food ready. It was good," said Joshua Garza. "We tasted it and everything seemed great, and then she wanted to meet at the venue to see the kitchen and kinda get an idea of where she wanted to set up like that. So then we met with her at the venue and everything still seemed great."

They moved forward with the company, signed a contract, and say they prepaid caterer Jennifer Debrue $1,100.

"We talked to her all the time. We kept in contact. Everything was fine," Erika said.

That was until the day of the couple's wedding. The two say they received some surprising news.

"Nobody told us anything until we were in the limo and they were like 'Yeah, your caterer's not here,'" Joshua Garza recalled.

The Garzas now had more than 100 famished family and friends and no caterer. Fortunately for them, they did have some resourceful relatives who were able to run out and grab food for the wedding and save the day, but that did not change how the couple felt about the no-show caterer.

"I mean you don't do that to somebody on a day like that," said Joshua Garza. "You just, you ruin somebody's day."

Joshua and Erika tried to contact "Bragg About It Catering" but never received a call back or a refund.

"I don't want her to do this to anybody else, said Erika Garza.

But unfortunately, Sergeant First Class Anthony Baxley says it also happened to him at his retirement party.

"We didn't want to have to be running around," Baxley said, "We didn't want to be cooking. We didn't want to do any of that. We did a lot of research. We actually contacted probably over 10 different caterers before we settled on this one."

Falling in love with everything on the menu that Debrue offered, Baxley, too, chose "Bragg About It Catering". He says he prepaid the full cost of $1,500 and, like the Garzas, was left with an event with no caterer.

"After the ceremony was over I was immediately told there was a couple of problems with the caterer ... she never showed up, Baxley said.

Stressed to the max after receiving the news, it was Baxley's family and friends who also stepped in and saved his special day.

"A lot of the people found out before they went over to where we were doing the actual reception and they went to the store and purchased a whole bunch of food for us, he said.

With two costly no-shows, I tried to track down caterer Jennifer Debrue, but she did not respond to our phone calls or emails. We decided to go to the address listed on her contract information and spoke with her husband who seems surprised.

"They paid $1,100 and their wedding day came and went and she never showed up," I told him.

"I'm shocked. I don't know," he responded.

He told me Jennifer DeBrue would call us back, but she never did. Meanwhile, the newlyweds and Baxley are trying to spread the word that "Bragg About It Catering" is not something to brag about.

Our advice to viewers would be to pay by credit card so you can dispute it when something like this happens. Both Baxley and the Garza's said they did that.

read more: www.marieaustralia.com

www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses
Aridea P Nov 2011
Palembang, 3 November

Masih ingat ku di usia muda
Saat ku dikelilingi ruang hampa
Jari tetap menggoreskan tinta
Hati tetap menerawang asa

Di hati terdalam terselip doa indah
Permohonan gadis kecil yang kesepian
Aku berdoa tapi terus bekerja
Sendirian.. Tak ada seorangpun di sekitar

Merasa orang biasa tak kan mengerti
Susah pun tuk diungkap
Tak mampi lagi berucap
Malu pun yang ada di setiap kata

Berjanji kepada Tuhan
Akan berbuat baik jika diberi teman
Tipe yang langsung mengerti akan keadaan
Dan tak harus ku ucap lagi tuk Dia dengarkan

Bisa ku dengar semua sunyi
Ada kejutan dibalik kesunyian-Nya
Akan selalu ku nanti Soulmate Aridea
Hingga Tuhan percaya aku akan membutuhkannya


Created by. Aridea Purple a.k.a Erika Maya W Handoko
River Raras May 2014
I dreamed of love
A drowsy girl
Awakened my sleeping thoughts
With burning memory
And the inertia of hope
Unexpected,
This sudden pull of gravity in my mind
Has sent me tumbling back to consciousness.


Gasping,
Cold plastering clothes to skin
Wondering
Where did my warmth go?
I miss those imaginary arms
That kissed me easily
More surreal than our fantastic surroundings
Less beautiful than her trust in me
Just as perfect as anything dreamed

Her name was Erika
My name was a blush and a hello
In the beginning.
But by the end,
"I'm so happy."

We climbed through windows and laughed about nothing
We played with wolves
We walked, we walked,
So many hills and not an unsure step.
I met her mother, she met mine
Both were so proud of us.
She made me useless things that I treasured more than practicality itself
And I could feel her pride when I hugged her for them.

Shy at first,
Sitting on a bed,
I asked her
"Where are you from?"
She mumbled,
"I don't know."
I said "that's not from around here."
She hadn't taken her eyes from mine. Now she managed two words:
" I'm lost."
And suddenly, I knew I was lost for her too.

We met for the first time in a hotel with no purpose
But meeting her has become the only purpose.

Though I wish so badly to go back to sleep,
Something vital inside me is more awake than it has ever been
Now I will keep my eyes forever open
Until I find her warm embrace once again.
And when her smile buries itself in my chest
I can finally close them.
erika3247 Nov 2013
This is the House That Lies Built*
Copyright  © 2013
By Erika Whitmore

This is the house that Lies built.

This is the “Man”
That lay in the house that Lies built.

This is the Lust that drove the “Man”
That lay in the house that Lies built.

This is his Greed that fueled the Lust
That drove the “Man” that lay in the house that Lies built.

This is the Loyal Woman that Got in the Way of his Greed
That killed the Lust that drove the “Man”
That lay in the house that Lies built.

This is the Urge to fill his lascivious Needs
So he dumped the Loyal Woman that got in the Way of his Greed
That killed the Lust that drove the “Man”
That lay in the house that Lies built.

This is the “Maiden” all forlorn
Who ignited his Urge to fill his lascivious needs
So he dumped the Loyal Woman that got in the way of his Greed
That killed the Lust that drove the “Man”
That lay in the house that Lies built.

This is the “Man” all tattered and torn
That f
cked the “Maiden” all forlorn
Who ignited his Urge to fill his lascivious Needs
So he dumped the Loyal Woman that got in the Way of his Greed
That killed the Lust that drove the “Man”
That lay in the house that Lies built.

This is his Addiction to women and ****
That ******* the “Man” all tattered and torn
That fcked the “Maiden” all forlorn
Who ignited his Urge to fill his lascivious Needs
So he dumped the Loyal Woman that got in the Way of his Greed
That killed the Lust that drove the “Man”
That lay in the house that Lies built.

This is the **** that crows in the morn
That shone light on his Addiction to women and ****
That ******* the “Man” all tattered and torn
That f
cked the “Maiden” all forlorn
Who ignited his Urge to fill his lascivious Needs
So he dumped the Loyal Woman that got in the Way of his Greed
That killed the Lust that drove the “Man”
That lay in the house that Lies built.

This is the ****** for the ******* he mourns
Which now keeps the **** up that crows in the morn
That shone the light on his Addiction to women and ****
That ******* the “Man” all tattered and torn
That fcked the “Maiden” all forlorn
Who ignited his Urge to fill his lascivious Needs
So he dumped the Loyal Woman that got in the Way of his Greed
That killed the Lust that drove the “Man”
That lay in the house that Lies built.

These are the Memories of those who loved him, whom he has scorned,
And traded in for ****** and the ******* he mourns
Just to dwell on the **** that crows in the morn
That shone  the light on his Addiction to women and ****
That ******* the “Man” all tattered and torn
That f
cked the “Maiden” all forlorn
Who ignited his Urge to fill his lascivious Needs
So he dumped the Loyal Woman that got in the Way of his Greed
That killed the Lust that drove the “Man”
That lay in the house that Lies built.
###
Joel M Frye Mar 2015
I've known you only as a quiet child.
So many years in passing spoke your name,
And hearing it would bring a fleeting smile.
I've known you only as a quiet child.

You're now a wife, a mother; all this while
It took for me to stake a father's claim.
I've known you only as a quiet child;
So many years in passing spoke your name.
Still getting to know my daughter.
jeffrey conyers Feb 2013
I asked you.
Do you love me?
You replied, I guess.
That spoke more then you know.

I asked you.
Wouldn't you love to be rich?
You replied, yes.
That you surely knew.

But the question's that meant the most to me.
You treated it lackadaisical.
Yes, no spirit at all.

And now you're wondering, why you're alone?
I would say call Tyrone.
Like Erika Badu.
But he can't affrod a phone.
Let alone a home.

So this I guess.
Have affected your world.
All because you didn't give the right answer.
When asked.

If you turn it around and ask me.
I state it with truth about the way I feel for you.
There won't be this I guess.
Because you would only hear three words of truth coming to you.
I guess.
Well maybe I will.
Then again, I guess I won't.
Then again.
Aridea P Feb 2012
Jakarta, 25 April 2009

Kampung halamanku
Di mana tempatku dilahirkan
Di pagi hari di bulan Mei
Tanggal 20 tahun 1995

Aku diberi nama Erika
Ku dibesarkan
Sampai aku berumur 7 tahun, aku pindah ke Ibu Kota
Dengan keluargaku
Ayah, Ibu, dan adik-adikku

Aku tumbuh menjadi seorang remaja
Dan mulai merasakan jatuh cinta
Jatuh cinta pada seorang remaja pria di sekolah
Dia sangat hebat dan pintar
Dia adalah motivatorku
Tuk meraih semua mimpiku
Early in her years she was somewhat abandoned.
Rejected by the only family she knew, unwanted and with no arms to hang on.
Independently she faced a cruel and an uncomforting world.
Keeping her tears hidden inside while she shows us only her most beautiful smile.
A damsel in great distress without anyone to lean on and just weep and cry.

Years passed by and she became a mother.
One little angel, her lovely daughter.
Her reason to go on with life and not think of anymore struggles.
Kept herself back on track and didnt mind the hurdles.
One or two relationships that broke her heart, also became  the reason that she had to restart.

Now she has a house of her own that she can always call home.
One fine job that pays more than she could ever hone.
Zestfully she faces the world with a whole new view.
And still smiles but no more tears behind them, for this time they are true.
Keeping on moving forward and thats how she plays it.
It doesnt matter if you lose or win the game, its how you played it.
erika3247 Nov 2013
Pushy Mother-Fcker
Copyright © 2013 Erika Whitmore

Pushy mother-f
cker
We doin’ this or not?
And - you can keep your ******* venom, Dude
Is that really all you got?

You lodge your disgust and hate
Like an acid punctuation
Contort your face and raise your voice?
I smile at your frustration

I grow weary at the thought of you
And tire of your pathetic jabs
It’s been eons since I said we’re through
I won’t be your punching bag

You try to walk the line and
And bide your time
And play both ends against the middle
But you better know that I’m at my prime
So, your “tactics” matter little.

I’ll take the blame
And all your “spew”
You’re so predictable it’s lame
Around we go, in circles now
But your ******* remains the same

So, get your head out of your ***
And take a look around --
You sadly think your **** don’t stink
But, like gas, I’ll have to pass
Before I’m knee deep in your brown

Your arrogant, condescending tone
Is driving me insane
So, I just hope
For your sake that you’re prepared
…‘Cause it’s about to rain!
Erika Soerensen Oct 2015
Inside the heart of a predator
Lives a little boy
Who once had Dreams
And Hopes
And Laughter
And
Love?

Someone once announced his birth,
Someone once threw a
Party in honor of his life, someone  
Once told him good job!
Someone once must have
Cared?
(of course, I'm only assuming)

At what point did
The sweet, glowing, iridescent
Boy transform into the
Dark, murky, violent
Monster?

What childhood
Nightmare haunted
Him so terribly that it
Had the strength to
Relentlessly push him
Across the
Delicate threshold
From innocent to
Sociopath?

Or....was it just
Always
There?

We’ve all been
Dealt some unsavory
Cards in life.

Some of us use our
Unlucky hands as
Weapons of
Destruction.

Some of us use our
Unlucky hands as
Torches, lighting a
Path of Courage and Rebirth
For others to
Follow.

The predator uses his
Bad luck as a group
Of thugs protecting
His heart.

Yet, within his past
Lives the
Remedy for his
Darkest demons.

All he needs
Is the courage
To face it.

But, predators
Would rather stay
Hidden in the
Dark.
- erika anne
Redshift Apr 2013
i will save time,
littlest brother.
i will wrap it up
and put it into a box
to mature,
like a rare cheese
only for you and me.

on the day
that you come to me
and want to know
what it was like
before mom left
because you won't remember,
i will open our box
and show you.

first i will take out
a lock of mom's blonde hair
that used to fall
down to her waist
and i will tell you
what it looked like
in the sunshine
while we made
daisy chains.
i will tell you
how it turned brown
later on
and how mom let me sit
on her bed
and twist, twist, twist
for hours,
because i didn't know how to braid.
and how me and Erika sat
in front of the space heater
and dried off
after a bath
mom crocheting
on the bed,
singing.

then i will remove from our box
a crisp, shriveled leaf
from the Big Tree
and i will let you smell it.
i will say,
this is what
home smells like...
never forget,
littlest brother.
i will sit you on my lap
and paint you pictures with my fingers
i will reveal to you little indian huts
and smoky firepits
and *****, chipped toes.

lastly
i will steal from time
and will take from our box,
what is rightfully ours
and i will give you
the last shred
that i have saved
for so long...
just for you, littlest brother.
i will give you mom and dad
together.
happy.
i will give you mom and dad
in their funky, attic-smelling bathing suits
mom's tummy protruding with another older sister for you
standing on the hot stones
dad's big, funny glasses
glinting in the sun,
a sun that shown down
on something whole
something perfect.
i will give you mom and dad
snuggled under a blanket
on the couch
watching a movie together
mom giving dad 'the look'
as he chuckles...

littlest brother,
i will do all i can
to create memories for you...
because everyone deserves to remember
something happy...
littlest brother,
i will steal from time
all i can
all for you...
until time decides to take back
what is rightfully his.
Erika Nov 2014
I am right, I am wrong
I am Yin, I am Yang
I am a day, I am a dawn
I am the Spring, I am the Fall
I am the sun calling for the moon
I am the wind, I am the storm
I am the past, I am the future
I am right now, I am back then
I am a saint, I am a sinner
I am an angel, I am a devil

I am the faith, I am the fear
I am the good, I am the bad

I am alive, I am dead
I am the sweetest lie, I am the painful truth
I am the unexpected Hello, I am the disappointed goodbye
I am the strings, I am the tuts
I am the unwanted smile, I am the desired tears
I am the love, I am the lust

I am a champion, I am a loser
I am the painter, I am the canvas
I am the happiness, I am the sorrow
I am something, I am nothing
I am the daughter, I am the friend
I am a girl who lost a soul

-Erika C
JM Romig May 2013
Somewhere out there, there is someone
who had a Creative Writing class in college
with E.L. James.

He remembers her
as that annoying sheltered Mormon girl in class
always telling people about how great a writer she was
and reciting her bad poetry
to anyone who pretended to listen.

He remembers fondly
the time she sobbed to her friends
because of the D she got on her final project
and the time the professor told her:
"Sometimes passion just isn't enough.
You've got to have talent too."

He knew that if he never made it as a writer
at least he could take solace in the fact that
wasn't as bad as that Erika chick.

After college, he cried weekly
over his mountain of rejected manuscripts
and eventually abandoned the pursuit of his art altogether
in favor of work that pays the bills.

Years later,
he comes home from work
at his 9-12 factory job
he finally, reluctantly, gives in to his wife's demands
to take up ******* in the bedroom -

- and Mid-****** she calls him Christian Grey

So, what I'm saying is this:
Somewhere out there, there is someone
who killed their loving wife in sudden rage -
because of poorly written Twilight fanfiction.
JM Romig © 2013
Another year in your life, another 12 months your heart has been beating. Another 365 days your lungs have been taking in air. I hope you have lived so much that your heart skipped beats, and your lungs lost their breath. I hope you did so much living that your organs couldn't quite keep up with you. I hope your heart swelled with love and that you always reached for the stars. I hope you smiled every chance you got and that you were able to jump out of your comfort zone. I hope you made memories to be remembered for a lifetime and that you touched the lives of others. I hope you do even more living this coming year. I know there are big things waiting for you at 27, and i can't wait to see all the beautiful things god has in store for you. I hope you embrace each and every one of them, and truly live.
judy smith Jun 2015
Fashion Week - a way to look at the past, present, and future all in once place. Whenever I get to attend a fashion show, I try to be as present and in-the-moment as possible. With iPhones and Instagram, everyone tries to be the first person to post looks from the runway, and it's hard to sometimes not take a photo or video and just enjoy the beautiful creations in front of you. History repeats itself every few decades, so it's fun to see trends popping up in the designs. And obviously, it's hard not to get excited about the future season when attending a fashion show.

Seattle Fashion Week is back and better than ever - for the first time in 5 years, it came back to the 206 after much anticipation. While Seattle gets a bad rep for wearing leggings, goretex, and fleece all the time, everyone wore their most beautiful dresses on Saturday night. It was a night to remember, and I always feel so lucky that I get to attend these shows and support local designers, artists, and creators. Saturday was the finale of the 3 night event, and the night for custom couture. I spotted a few trends throughout the show that I'd like to share with you.

Neutrals

Of course black and white made an appearance, but we also saw a lot of gray, blush, ****, and tan.

Exquisite fabrics

Lace, tulle and sequins, oh my! Every piece was feminine, quirky, and oh so Seattle. Nothing felt too girly, too "done up", or too stuffy. Most of these pieces you could break up and wear day or night, or mix and match them with a leather jacket and some boots to add some edge.

Texture

Nothing down the runway was a plain silk dress. Whether it was hand-knit yarm, layering of fabrics, or covered in zippers, prints, or hints of leather, everything was appealing to the eye and put together in the most beautiful way. I love getting inspiration for how to put pieces together, or how to mix and match different fabrics and prints to make an outfit truly my own.

Unique

Each and every piece was like nothing I'd ever seen before. Each designer had their own individual take on their collection, and you could tell they put so much time, sweat, tears, and love into their designs.

A huge thank you to the designers for sharing their handwork and beautiful custom art with us - Karen Ashley Fashion, House of Halm by Maria Ham, Morifu, Julie Danforth Design, Erika Bond, Dream Dresses by P.M.N., Juleano, Justin Zachary Bartle, and Boulevard Magenta by Wendy Ohlendorf. I cannot wait for the next SFW event!Read more here:www.marieaustralia.com/yellow-formal-dresses | www.marieaustralia.com/black-formal-dresses
Erika Soerensen Oct 2015
I watched a
Documentary about
Richard Pryor
Last night.

Did you know....

He was born in a brothel,
His mother was a
*******, and his
Father a one-time
Customer?

The closest Pryor ever got
To his Father was
When his Daddy
Unknowingly paid to
Create his son's life -
Inside a *****.

(and daddy never once enjoyed
his investment).

But, the ******* son
Became the
Clown, and
That clown transformed
All his pain
And sorrow into
Golden coins of
Laughter.

Imagine if we could all be so brave.
- erika anne
Erika Nov 2014
I met you at the Summer warmth
I love you at the beautiful Spring
I miss you at the gloomy Fall
I lost you at the Winter winds

-Erika
sandy syan Sep 6
You are to me
What the stars are to the sky  
If my life is a river
You are my eternal flow of Nile

My heart is a garden
And you are its only flower
Forever blooming as if the season was spring
Never to fade even in the harshest of the days

In the cold, rough winds of winter
You are the one who provides my soul the warmth
No constellation or Galaxy ever so bright  
The sun is just a mere reflection of your charm
erika3247 Nov 2013
You Are Not Alone
Copyright © 2013
By Erika Whitmore

You are not alone
You will never be forgotten.

At the rising of the moon
Through the beams illuminating
Through the starlight reverberating,
Sonorous
Blissful angels weeping
O’er enchanting, echoed voices
… you resonate with me

Tones upon tones upon…
The stars… these ancient stars
Reflecting
In pools and rings…

…that beget rings that beget rings…
Never-ending
Flowing in, ebbing out
In all, in everything
That surrounds you, that’s in me
Blue-azure-and green jade tumbling water

It is so beautiful,
Beyond what words can speak.
…It is you.

Now nothing…
Quiet, falling snow of cotton
Dark and heavy heart

But you are not alone -
…and we are not apart.

And you will never…
Be forgotten.

~
(For My Beloved Ahira and Inspired by and written while listening to: “I Can Hear the Moon Rising,” “Rapture” and “Love Is Surrender” by Kip Mazuy on www.calm.com)
To someone you will always be
the best friend in the world
To someone you will always be
the brightest person they know
To someone you will always be
...The first person they want to call
To someone you will always be
the right person for the job
and to someone you will always be
the most beautiful girl in the room
©Rachel-erika Henderson 2010
Erika Nov 2014
Eve
The words
He searches the words
to describe the exquisite person
Stand before him

The words
“Nonsense! How can my excruciating words
describe her exceptionally lovely presence ” he says

The words still won’t come out
Inexplicably…

As she walks towards him
As he lays his eyes upon her
As she says
” Hi I am your eve “


-Erika
Ana S Apr 2016
So this isn't really a poem more of a short story about my day yesterday.

I was in school, color guard, to be more specific. We were talking about up coming color guards and who's going to be on them. I already knew I was failing math and was just going to text gwenyth later, I was hoping nobody noticed that I wasn't raising my hand to be in colorguards. I kinda floated o the back behind everyone. Also because I don't like a few people on colorguard and I'm extremely shy around the rest. a certain person on Cg makes me feel extremely unconfortable and annoys me a lot. She always has to be pushing people and telling people stuff. She irritates me a lot. At the beginning of the year she told someone something that I wish I hadn't told her and ****** up stuff between me and another chick. Now I can barely even talk to this chick. I just kinda want to punch her in the face. She is always pushing me around and hugging on me and bossing me around. She can be okay sometimes but really annoying.
   So we were all talking, then gwenyth looked at me... "What about you? Do u want to be on any colorguards?" I looked at her and shook my head.
I felt the walls begin closing in and thought I was going to have to just walk out of there because I thought a panic attack was about to grab me. "Just breath" I repeated in my head, "your not going to break that easy. What are you talking about you already are broken..." I looked up from the ground and caught one girl from Cg looking at me. She is one of the few people on Cg I trust. Her, gwenyth, another girl, and another boy are the only people I trust. The rest are freshman and freshman are hard to trust. I met the girl's glance then looked away. For some reason I find her extremely hard to be around because she is just unbelievably amazing. Idk how to explain it. She's like a poison darth frog, in the best way... In case this ever gets back to her. She is completly beautiful but people tell me not to like her, but I refuse to judge her based on someone else's words. She is nice to me and takes time to actually have conversations with me so she's good in my book. She will remain that way until I have a legit reason to not like her.
   I continued to think to myself and just stayed calm. Then thank god class was over. I began to walk out of the school on my way home. Gwenyth was standing by the door and looked at me, "Hey! Swaim! Are you okay today?" I looked at her and practically meowed. Feeling like a complete idiot I walked away. I put my hood on a earphones in turning them up all the way. So what if I go deaf... I walked through the parking lot with the wind blowing against me. I looked at the grey world so dark. I took off my glasses and walked listening to Eminem blasting in my ears.
     I finally arrived home noticing my moms car was in the driveway. As I approached the driveway I saw Chae. She was sitting on the corner I walk past everyday staring at me. I was on my last line with her. She sits there messing with nemo.  I walked in the door and mom later there passed out on the couch. As soon as she woke up she began demanding me of stuff, get me water... Do this.... Do that. I did everything she asked. I messaged Emily hoping she might reply. Then Erika. Nobody. I ended up passing out on the floor after explaining what happened today to gwenyth. I finally had a break. Bam that sums up the day....
My day wasn't poetic
Erika Nov 2014
Tik Tok Tik Tok….

I’ve always said I would call you
to tell you how much I love you
But there is always a tomorrow, right?
So I didn’t call you that night
I’ve always said I would write you a poem
that describes your beautiful soul
But there is always another day, right?
So I didn’t make you one
I’ve said I would come over to your house
But there is always another morning, day, and night, right?
So I didn’t make it yesterday
and today

How long will I stay like this
In a comfort bed
My soul paints a dark still life
The piano plays me a death march
Mind wanders thinking about tomorrow
” There is always tomorrow “

Till I know the skies run out of stars
Till The moon has lost its beam
Till The sun is overshadowed by black clouds
Till The trees are paralyzed
no longer dance with the wind
Till the books run out its pages
Till the eyes are reddened by blood
Till the tides go back to the ocean
Till I know I’ve lost her.
Because of my tomorrow



-Erika
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Redshift Aug 2013
erika's coming back in two weeks.
ah, the prodigal sister
who promised me that she'd give anything to spend the summer
with me
her
bestfriend
me who's
been alone
all year already
and trying to be ok
but no, she has to stay at school during the summer
study with her voice professor
launch her career
i
*******
get it
but give her
one day
and she calls dad
says she's going to kentucky
for the summer
to have fun
on her own
...oh.

i really don't remember ever being that angry
or hurt
i remember throwing things
and kicking a chair
and my foot even bled
and i swore at dad
and sobbed
and it was ridiculous
but it was how my insides felt.

and now she is back
for two weeks
and then gone again
i'm looking for somewhere to be
for two weeks
anyone want to
adopt me
i need to talk to someone so i don't let this all bottle up and i just lose it again. but people are such ****.
Belle Dec 2017
Mom
May 27, 1998.
It was a Thursday at 7:50 p.m.
I was one of two.
"Name her Isabella, because she came out screaming. She's loud, like her grandmother."
My sister was 10 minutes later, quiet and feeble.
Her name, Andreana.
After my father Andrew, who wasn't there. He died two months earlier.
My mom, obviously she was there. But not really.
Atleast she wasn't around.
We had Jamie, and Erika, and Ausra, and Deb.
Me and my sister had eachother, and my brother, when he felt like it. When your dads dead and your mom works full time--because that's the only way to make a living.
You're really, well you're an orphan.
I remember when my mom went on business trips,
I'd bang my head on the wall because I was so miserable,
I'd cry myself sick.
I would sleep next to my sister and we'd look at the stars, I remember we used to stay up late and wait for her to get home. She'd hold me and whisper "soon."
As I felt the tears from her eyes gather in my hair, and rub against my skin.
My mom would bring us home gifts, as if gifts could mend our broken hearts. As if gifts replaced the love and attention we weren't getting.
I got to first grade and I stole from my teacher, I hung out with the "bad girl" in class and we used to bully this boy. My mom wondered why I had anger management issues and why I would lie.
She threw me into therapy, because she couldn't solve these problems on her own.
Except when I went to therapy all I wanted to do was play with the games. I just wanted someone to play with me.
I just wanted someone to care.
My nannies cared.
But they weren't my mom.
And eventually they left.
When they left, then we had Maria.
Maria pushed me into the wall when I was having tantrums and grabbed my face, told me to "stop misbehaving!"
I hated Maria.
My mom cared. She cared a lot. Maybe that was the problem.
She got so caught up in caring and making sure we were cared for that she forgot how to love.
When all the other kids parents came to the Halloween parade, I never saw my mom. My sister and I would sit together, while everyone else would sit with there mommies and daddies. But hey atleast we had eachother.
Right?
My mom wasn't able to make it to Shoreline or state championship track meets, or award nights because she had to work. She wasn't there when I became captain of the track team.
My best friends mom gave me a hug, i closed my eyes and pretended it was mine.
She cared, but she was never there.
I still looked for her face in the crowd every time I stood at that starting line.
Most times when I didn't see it, I wanted to cry, but the few times I did, I wanted to cry even harder.

— The End —