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Alexis Jan 2018
My name is Alexis

And I'm and addict;

Just 19.
Who wouldve thought...
Amphetamine.
This ***** ******* habit
Keeps on reeking ****** havoc
This heavy dose, i love the most
Its fist is wrapped around my throat
So tightly roped, i try to cope
But have i told you of the voice
As if I have no simple choice
Every night i hear that noise
It whispers and hisses ill fame
And in my saviours name
I rebuked this devil and said he was to blame
Tragic it was when I feared we were  same
Only briefly, so before he fell away from me
And from grace, I needed just once to see his
Face
I summoned him, provoked in that hour
The devil at hand, while within my power
To show his cowardly self, and he appeared
The "Self" ishness in me. A mirror I saw
I cant escape this hate for law
To **** myself and laugh at me
My reflection says, "don't you see?"
I am the devil in you. You can't be free.
a holy verse you know so well
Said in the Lords house you just might dwell
It taught you truly the nature of god
And to write euphemisms, o poet in facaude
The complex you create to be above
This evil thing you cannot love
Inside of you, that is called "I"
The devil I am. That lives inside
In the Word I learned to know of this god in which you abide
guiding you to deny me to death.
Dissonance from guilt, creates in you, me
A separate enity, in which you can't be free
Except in flesh, of responsiblity
But without you, I don't exist
Denying the self inside, shouldn't feel like such bliss
But to yourslef, you lie
And within I die, every time
A juvenile in your prime
You forget me and commit the one sin
Which honestly can't be forgiven
Denial of error, dont look so blue
Failing to forgive the devil in you, it's true
You deny me by your own will
A chance to have peace, to be still
In rebuking me, what's left is condemnation
Eternal damnation
It is the "self" you dismiss
When the pipe you kiss
Makes you feel I do not exist
So let this god cast me away
But it's your own soul you lost today
I am the devil. The mirror.
You're truest fear.
In church this is called blashepmy
But I like to call it your ego,
We both know you cant let go
Pure humanity, inner calamity
To deny thy self love, such profanity.
To repeat this rejection expecting a new "me".....
Literally defined: NOUN
Insanity.

The devil in me is so profound.


I will not be forgiven. Because I will it not.

I deny my pain.
So slowly driven my self insane..
Pray not for peace but Novacane
to numb these rotting teeth, that ache so slowly,  only subject to the sovereign hand of time; this cycle. This crime.
This line of mine
Amphetamine.
But the conscious is clean
Alteast... I think?
In honor of sobroety, to thine own self be true
Vladimir s Krebs Dec 2015
i cant keep up with all theses faces in my eyes. i cant keep up when all i want to rip my hair out and scream my lungs out.
all the papers in life you might as well just signe  your soul away with out reading the following dangers. what would i say when i have finally snaped and went crazy.
my life is quiet and tranquill. but my mind is screaming in hell like i plane that has lost contole and is spiralling out of control.
i dont show any emotion but my mind is screaming from the new waves of hell that has unleashed a dark enity over me that will sufficat any one in its path..

every exam in my way makes me want to go insane and lose controll just being low means you cant rise but i cant keep up with the pase but theres nothing tat lies a head just a black obiss that never ends of hell.


my mind is breaking and all i want to is to tear apart any one whoe will slow me down.

i know i am crazy insane psychotic and thrill seeking.

all i kn0w is my mind is screaming with no regret so **** the rest im going to set this world on fire even if my mind is screming to make the point of your own demize.
idk im tired and losing paciants

— The End —