too full of life to be half-loved.
who could deny that i have loved?
deeply without holding back,
constantly trying not to slack.
i have loved with and without words.
can't be loved at all if it's done half way.
i want to feel that you care and love with no reserve,
and that you gently curse my trust issues when they occur.
too full of life to be half-loved.
too many scenarios in my head,
too many times have i lost you
in my head..
but do tell...
am i being paranoid or just learning from experiences?
tired of things turning out less than i felt
when things hit you from all sides.
tired of hearing it, just want to feel it.
i want to feel that i can trust.
unless i can, all efforts towards gaining my trust are lost.
too full of life to be half-loved,
too full of light to be enclosed
in uncertainty.
too free for life to be hand-cuffed,
emprisoned by your affinities.
affinities that only you describe as love,
but i can see...
i can see what you might see in me:
smart? mature? calm?
i get it..
i also entered love by that same door.
i almost deterred my hidden insecurities
then turned my back on love through that same door.
i always want more.
maybe love isn't what i'm looking for,
maybe for this feeling i have different meanings.
like save me from my own dirt,
like always put me first,
like i do what i want and you can't,
like why don't i wear the pants?
for sure..
i go from hating to loving in the same year
so i'm not even sure.
indecisive, manipulative and self love is my only cure.
too full of life to not self-love.
who fooled me into thinking i can't be loved?
there's nothing you can give me that i can't offer myself.
no doctor than myself to heal my mental health.
no brag, no thinking i'm all that
baby i'm all that and more.
doesn't mean i can't love, but i love myself more.
musn't mean i can't have you and a little more
...
