Weary, lonely, totally lost
I wonder why, why
this soliloquy,
the thought train
rambling on,
lifeless, aimless
a total nowhere,
for you
are not listening.

A futile day,
meaningless sunrise,
oh,
you didn't say,
"love you too."

fumed
fragrance far
from imagination's grasp
fills the life's empitness
flowers the spring amidst fall.

© Ali Ashraf

As she stands before the body of water looking down
the reflection of a woman emerges from her past
always wondering who she is and where she is going...

As she immerses her body in the water, washing away her days desires
tears fall from her eyes, tears that come from the depths of her soul

The empitness that comes from years of not knowing who she is,
is washed away, cleansing her of all sorrow

The woman in the reflection comforts her
Her eyes filled with such love and passion
She realizes that she can find her way back...
back from the past and carry her on the journey
of her souls desire....

"The wind is blowing the skirt of an Autumn tree; I flirt with destruction."

Wildfire is afoot,
my lungs fill with the soot
from all the burning bridges;
a slow suffocation, each breath
slipping into the decay.
Things I lost in the fire
permeate the stench of regret.
The unforgotten coats the skin of air
in blankets of smoke and mirrors.
Reflections. | .snoitcelfeR

I Breathe in
deep breaths of memories,
awake in me,
the only remenants
of our love.
It is hard to exhale.
A stubborn heart,
I never know when to let go.
Selfishly I hold on
even amidst the breaking;
the fire consuming everything.
I find myself content
with these 3rd degree burns.
The scars are reminders
that I did more than dream you
but you were really here.

The deliberate suicide
accelerated by my will
to hold onto something
that is already gone;
without you I die a little more inside.
Fade into the nothingness,
a canyon filled with the echo
of the wolf's cry; brokenness.

**** this burden of love,
a torch that burns me alive.
Deadly poison
coursing through my veins,
killing me softly.
I am the chainsmoker.
My lungs are charchoal,
a sacrafice on the alter.
I don't know how to quit you,
give back the feelings you gave me;
the all of you that I have breathed in.

Addiction is madness.
I can feel the unraveling of mind
turning me into a cigarette bud,
into a tray of ashes.
Lost in the fray.
There is a mirror
in the ceiling above me,
haunting reflection
of the things that use to be.
Of the things Ive lost
you are what I desire most
to find again.

I miss belonging
to your lips, your hands, your heart
but I mean nothing to you now.
I am a promise you once made
broken and unkept.
Abandoned.
A heart missing a piece.
A mind without peace.
Lonely like the stretch of sky
after the sun departs
before the moon arrives;
the bareroot of empitness.

I am the star
farthest from the moon,
devastated by an ending come too soon,
but soon to be reborn
the morning star;
one way or another
Ill find my way out of this dark,
the light always does....

Has that dark feeling come over you
when a veil clouds your mind.
A depression mode out of the blue
alone no hope you can only cry.
That empitness you cannot fill
a moment you lose all will.

On your own with no good thoughts
asking yourself what use am I?
Dreading the future you have ahead
nothing uplifts your mood.
Then it's gone your better again
you have you're life to maintain.

Pressure is put upon each one of us
fighting to survive not wanting to fuss.
But there are those who can't cope
and succumb giving up hope!

The Foureyed Poet.

I'm getting cold
And I'm not talking the physical cold
Not like the cold you feel when there's an absence of warmth
I'm talking a coldness that starts at the base of my skull
That spreads through my body and my brain
It's the kind of cold that brings a feeling of despair and empitness.
No amount of blankets or warm fires or even hot coffees
Can warm me from the dead winter inside my mind

I can't tell you how many nights I wished my world would end.

I can't count how many times I thought about taking my own life with not even a letter to send.

I can't tell you that there's still a vacancy in my heart and an emptiness in my soul, where they took pieces of me I couldn't replace.

I can't tell you life was easy and the world is kind, because people can be cruel and it's not always such a great place.

I can't tell you that there were many years that I lost myself.

I can't tell you that when things got bad, I never asked for help.

I can't tell you even today, that I am fully healed.

I can't tell you that I'm not okay, my lips are sealed.

I can tell you that no matter how much I wished, my wishes never came true.

I can tell you that each time I tried to take my life, my body always fought through.

I can tell you that the vacancy is filled sometimes, and the empitness lingers in the quiet of my soul on the good days.

I can tell you that when people are kind, I always hope they'll stay.

I can tell you that after losing my mind, I somehow found my back.

I can tell you that although I'm not fully healed, I've made it through with just a few cracks.

I can tell you that I fake it as best I can without ever letting go.

I can tell you I am holding on, but it's getting harder and I know it shows.

it felt like coldness, a january night
the feeling of certainty leaving my body

when the numbness passed,
and my chest was made of raw nerves
and the tightness in my throat
made my eyes swell
i am sinking.

with empitness, you assured me
you might have never loved me.