Weary, lonely, totally lost
I wonder why, why
this soliloquy,
the thought train
rambling on,
lifeless, aimless
a total nowhere,
for you
are not listening.

A futile day,
meaningless sunrise,
oh,
you didn't say,
"love you too."

fumed
fragrance far
from imagination's grasp
fills the life's empitness
flowers the spring amidst fall.

© Ali Ashraf

As she stands before the body of water looking down
the reflection of a woman emerges from her past
always wondering who she is and where she is going...

As she immerses her body in the water, washing away her days desires
tears fall from her eyes, tears that come from the depths of her soul

The empitness that comes from years of not knowing who she is,
is washed away, cleansing her of all sorrow

The woman in the reflection comforts her
Her eyes filled with such love and passion
She realizes that she can find her way back...
back from the past and carry her on the journey
of her souls desire....

"The wind is blowing the skirt of an Autumn tree; I flirt with destruction."

Wildfire is afoot,
my lungs fill with the soot
from all the burning bridges;
a slow suffocation, each breath
slipping into the decay.
Things I lost in the fire
permeate the stench of regret.
The unforgotten coats the skin of air
in blankets of smoke and mirrors.
Reflections. | .snoitcelfeR

I Breathe in
deep breaths of memories,
awake in me,
the only remenants
of our love.
It is hard to exhale.
A stubborn heart,
I never know when to let go.
Selfishly I hold on
even amidst the breaking;
the fire consuming everything.
I find myself content
with these 3rd degree burns.
The scars are reminders
that I did more than dream you
but you were really here.

The deliberate suicide
accelerated by my will
to hold onto something
that is already gone;
without you I die a little more inside.
Fade into the nothingness,
a canyon filled with the echo
of the wolf's cry; brokenness.

**** this burden of love,
a torch that burns me alive.
Deadly poison
coursing through my veins,
killing me softly.
I am the chainsmoker.
My lungs are charchoal,
a sacrafice on the alter.
I don't know how to quit you,
give back the feelings you gave me;
the all of you that I have breathed in.

Addiction is madness.
I can feel the unraveling of mind
turning me into a cigarette bud,
into a tray of ashes.
Lost in the fray.
There is a mirror
in the ceiling above me,
haunting reflection
of the things that use to be.
Of the things Ive lost
you are what I desire most
to find again.

I miss belonging
to your lips, your hands, your heart
but I mean nothing to you now.
I am a promise you once made
broken and unkept.
Abandoned.
A heart missing a piece.
A mind without peace.
Lonely like the stretch of sky
after the sun departs
before the moon arrives;
the bareroot of empitness.

I am the star
farthest from the moon,
devastated by an ending come too soon,
but soon to be reborn
the morning star;
one way or another
Ill find my way out of this dark,
the light always does....

Has that dark feeling come over you
when a veil clouds your mind.
A depression mode out of the blue
alone no hope you can only cry.
That empitness you cannot fill
a moment you lose all will.

On your own with no good thoughts
asking yourself what use am I?
Dreading the future you have ahead
nothing uplifts your mood.
Then it's gone your better again
you have you're life to maintain.

Pressure is put upon each one of us
fighting to survive not wanting to fuss.
But there are those who can't cope
and succumb giving up hope!

The Foureyed Poet.

I'm getting cold
And I'm not talking the physical cold
Not like the cold you feel when there's an absence of warmth
I'm talking a coldness that starts at the base of my skull
That spreads through my body and my brain
It's the kind of cold that brings a feeling of despair and empitness.
No amount of blankets or warm fires or even hot coffees
Can warm me from the dead winter inside my mind

It feels so sad to say out loud
That the good old days
Didn’t last that long

But I know that Human beings make mistakes
That’s how we grow to remain steadfast and strong

In the early morning hours I sound the alarm
And it’s extremely alarming
Cause It feels like nobody cares

All I feel is empitness
Cause now there’s nobody there….
to shelter me through the storm…

It feels like an eternity
Since I felt happiness
I thought our love was strong
But I was wrong…

How come back when I was young
You taught me right from wrong
And told me “Actions speak volumes over words” but now your contradicting your own words

We spent half a life together but
Being with you turned into a living nightmare

We live
We learn
We crash
We burn
Sometimes there’s no shelter to shelter you through all the raging storms…

Words of wisdom
Are coming from the voices in my mind
Telling me to give life another chance.
Cause you’ll never know if you never give it a try…

Remember that nothing lasts forever.
Not even wars or stressful times.
So this raging storm CANT and WILL NOT Last forever.

And it may not even last that long…

it felt like coldness, a january night
the feeling of certainty leaving my body

when the numbness passed,
and my chest was made of raw nerves
and the tightness in my throat
made my eyes swell
i am sinking.

with empitness, you assured me
you might have never loved me.

I'm always on the verge of another.
Breakdown.
Feeling my soul extricate itself.
From the premises.

Absent mindedly.
I stare into the darkness.
The permutations of my hallucinations.
Swirl in the darkness.
Lights in the dark.

Or is it
the blood coursing through my eyes.
Fluctuating in spasmodic undulations.
Something moving in a shadow.
A face my brain places into the dark.
Patterns associated with mind states.
Anger, depression, empitness.

It's all just such.
A trick of the mind.
Counterfeit spirits.

And I am  
Feeling the buildup of repressed.
Emotions.
But I gird my *****.
Tolerate the bottleneck.
Stave off the breaking of the dam.
By receding into apathy.

I must stabilise my circumstance.

Til the dam breaks.
And my life is ruined.
In yet another catastrophic incident.
To add to the list.
Of reasons why.

I'm broken.

They feel a splinter of wood
I see a blood bath all over mee never good

Sunshine They see the rays of it
In pitch black darkness I tried for days to see one ray of it

Empitness is all i feel
It consumes all of me

Am i the bad in the good? Or the only good in the bad?
Well goodluck explaining this to my dad
Is that why he's always mad?

A reflection of him is seen when he stares at me ?
He's the reason why i've come to this so why blame me?

I'm his shadow monster
I compare myslef to a useless firey dumpster
He lits it with his words .

one scentance and it's gone
I've scenetnced my heart to be gone

Never to feel again the same pain that it draws
I try to color it
But all my colors are gone
All i am left with is black and white

The white is invisible
The black is what i show, it's not permissible

Im glad i try to go with the flow
But i relate to no one to be able to flow

They say uniqueness is good its bold
I tried to see it as if its true because that's what ive been told

-Not A Poet-Just Struggling