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remington carter Mar 2018
lying facedown on the train tracks;
home is where the heart is.
i sharpen my alibi on my mother’s bones
blink blink blink
the rays of the sun gouge my eyes out and
i blink, feeding on her conscience
through roots in the dirt.
regret metastasizes inside of me
like the very consumption that killed her

i found a way out, what now?
the daylight picked out my ribs one by one
the moon died and i buried her in the flowerbeds.
brave molly, come save me, the train's at the station

maybe today
i can talk to myself
out loud on the way there.
primal scream therapy.

(in between bittersweet fragments of memory
i can say your name without—
gangrene makes a home within my brittle skull.
cyanotic lips preach to me the
everlasting weight of my sin)

today
i’ll talk to myself out loud
on the way there
and maybe the echo won't
sound so **** scared
it's taken me one grueling year to be able to write again. logging back into HP and seeing everyone's beautiful writing again has made me so happy. i really did miss you guys
Forgive, the two Joyeous Athletes Robust
And leave this Artist consigned and confessed
His Leaves have matured; But Duty he must
Remember the Gladness they each Possessed
Now I know why I never read his Book
Of I's and Me's so favoured by the Youth
His Grinning Plastic took long seen afoot
And his Spy's Kiss succeeded on its Cue
How much more will the Hell of Lover's Fair
Pour Molten Syrup to Souls, who, in spite
Swallow Stubborn Sugars labelled Beware
And the Green-Eyed Monster roared in Delight.
Now I know why your Picture flashed within
The Secret lies on your Pre-Olympic Ring.
#tomdaleytv #tomdaley1994
Little Bit Mar 2017
my legs are closed now
so it's all through to you

you say:
what a night
you're fantastic
well
that was fun
while it lasted

I say:
oh yeah
well
go on now
get gone

but despite my efforts
to deny it
to hide it

my young heart
is ripped open,
in two
because
it's through

wondering your answers
to the questions
left behind
in my mind

what's your middle name?
where do you take proper girls
on a first date?
am i just a flake,
full of hate?

do you have a favorite
cursive letter?
if you loved someone,
when would you tell her?

how will you make a living?
(certainly not by drinking)

does your mother know you're
a lying lush?
do you know that you're
a lousy ****?

will you remember me?
i hope to forget you soon
although it's doubtful
but i have to
to get my soul full
again

wondering the answers
until I indulge once more
and my heart is torn
into 4, then 8
until it disintegrates

I say:
go on
get gone
don't make
me late
written 1/31/17
You try not to be lonely
While drowning in tears
You try not to be angry
After all of these years
You try to breath slowly
While you shake in fear

These awful days go by
And while you try to hide
You’re being eaten alive
By what you feel inside

This pain and self hate
And many bitter tears
So lonely, so unhappy

And at the end of the day
You’re the one to blame
Each undeserved breath
While you wait for death
Ciel Feb 1
In less than 4 hours,
I will be eighteen.
In the last year alone,
I have changed more than in the previous 16 years.
I have learnt that it is okay not to be okay,
that I do not always have to have an answer,
that it is okay to be vulnerable,
that nobody but yourself can make you happy,
that I can express myself without any sound,
that it is okay to lose some friends,
that it is okay to outgrow some other friends,
that I am not one fixed thing and it is okay to change,
that it is okay to be lost at times,
that I have to listen to my soul more than my fears,
and that I still have so much more to learn.
ConnectHook Nov 2018
Sarah Josepha Hale  (1788–1879)


We bring no earthly wreath for Time;
To man th’immortal Time was given—
Years should be marked by deeds sublime,
That elevate his soul to heaven.
Thou proudly passing year—thy name
Is registered in mind’s bright flame,
And louder than the roar of waves,
Thundering from ocean’s prison caves,
Comes the glad shout that hallows thee
The Year of Freedom’s Jubilee!
‘Tis strange how mind has been chained down,
And reason scourged like branded sin!
How man has shrunk before man’s frown,
And darkened heaven’s own fire within!
But Freedom breathed—the flame burst forth—
Wo to the spoilers of the earth,
Who would withstand its lightning stroke,
And heavier forge the galling yoke;—
As well the breaking reed might dare
The cataract’s rush—the whirlwind’s war!
Ay, thrones must crumble—even as clay,
Searched by the scorching sun and wind!
And crushed be Superstition’s sway
That would with writing scorpions bind
The terror-stricken conscience down
Beneath anointed monarch’s frown;
Till Truth is in her temple sought,
The soul’s unbribed, unfettered thought,
That, science-guided, soars unawed,
And reading Nature rests on God!
This must be-is-the passing year
Has rent the veil, and despots stand
In the keen glance of Truth severe,
With craven brow and palsied hand:—
Ye, who would make man’s spirit free,
And change the Old World’s destiny,
Bring forth from Learning’s halls the light,
And watch, that Virtue’s shield be bright;
Then to the ‘God of order’ raise
The vow of faith, the song of praise,
And on-and sweep Oppression’s chains,
Like ice beneath the vernal rains!
My Country, ay, thy sons are proud,
True heirs of Freedom’s glorious dower;
For never here has knee been bowed
In homage to a mortal power:
No, never here has tyrant reigned,
And never here has thought been chained!
Then who would follow Europe’s sickly light,
When here the soul may put forth all her might,
And show the nations, as they gaze in awe,
That Wisdom dwells with Liberty and Law!
O, when will Time his holiest triumph bring—
‘Freedom o’er all the earth, and Christ alone reigns King!’
Thanksgiving's Poetic Muse and Matron:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1m5gUSRyTc
L B Sep 2016
Route 84 would not lend me
the light of a star last night
Radio blazing at 75 mph
nonsense noise to chew gum by
Crackling political commentary
Static of distance and thick clouds
Invisible mountains blocking
Memories seeping through the cracks
coating the music in a film
I rub my eyes
watch myself punch alert buttons
But it’s the angels’ jukebox tonight

Roll down the window
Watch the heat escape

Summer again

I am building a castle of ancient stones
pulverized by relentless tides
Dragged across maps by mastodons
and mammoth glaciers
The scouring hiss
the ocean sighs
Time has lulled these smoothly
rolling them in the softest hands of sand
and gels of life’s comings and goings
tenderly tumbling
in the millionth moonrise—
Time deposits them here
wet and glistening

For the girl with the plaid two-piece to gather
Shoulders sun-burnt barely say
one week only,
one week of the fifty two
“It’s the time of the season…”
and daddies on the beach are watching….

She has chosen yet another stone
And the castle continues—
in oblivion to all but her legend…

     The queen will be safe here
     from the rabble
     The disgraced Tristan will surely seek her
     Among these lofty cliffs
     Between the raging circuit of the tide
     Here winds forbid the vengeful mob
     Here lovers learn
     the debt of love’s bad timing
     “Drink ye all of it!”
     --the potion that assigns our sorrow….
     She will not sleep—
     while I chew this gum--  GUM?

Roll down the window!

Angels escape with the heat
Waking me with the brush of their wings

As that eighteen-wheeler hugs my flank
And leans on the horn
Lights flashing
Rude rumbling under right tires
Tantrum of snow
In the draft of mass and velocity

…and the angels?
They’ve chosen another good one!
They must’ve liked the 80’s
Their wings slapping the windshield madly  
Their hands steady the wheel
As a fourteen-year old, I picked up a book to read at the beach about the legend of the lovers, Tristan and Iseult.  I was so captivated by their story that it ruled my imagination that summer.  

Anyway, I still think of it when I think of the ocean-- as I did on this cold dark occasion when I should have pulled off somewhere for a coffee, but I was trying to beat the snow storm home.
Route 84, also known as Dead Bambi Highway, has a desolate, treacherous section going over the mountains between NY and Pennsylvania.  Didn't have much option for music at the time, so I leaned heavily on the radio pushing the search button to find anything bearable-- not too much static.
Song reference in this: "Time of the Season" by the Zombies-- all time favorite beach song that happened to be on the radio that night.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBxK3CcOQD8
Baylee Kaye Aug 2018
I have learned:

1. your past does not define you. yesterday’s mistakes are not today’s. we can always be better.

2. be humble. do not boast in how you look or how you dress. do not brag in your talents or your skills. you can be proud, but do not become prideful. always stay kind.

3. do not let someone else define your worth, talent or value because of what they do or do not give you.

4. be patient. all good things come in time and never stop working hard in what you’re striving to achieve.

5. words and music connect us. don’t ever stop telling stories, always keep writing, always keep sharing.

6. love your friends and family hard. appreciate them everyday and never give up on them.

7. you are cherished even if you feel like you’re not seen. when you don’t think your parts matter, widen your perspective and look at the bigger picture. they can’t make it happen without you.

8. you are more than just a body or face. your heart and soul is more beautiful than any outward appearance could ever be. don’t let first impresses be limited to only physical.

9. it’s okay to show affection to those that you love. let them know how you feel, and don’t be afraid to love big.

10. hard work and determination always pay off, even if it takes a while. you will get to where you’re going if you’re diligent and passionate. don’t wait to follow your dreams.

11. laugh loud. don’t worry about what others may think of you, happiness isn’t to be confined, you’re meant to express it.

12. let yourself be loved by others. you can’t give until you’ve been filled, always let others pour into you with adorations and affections so you can do the same.

13. don’t let people look down on you because you are young, don’t let them limit your potential because of your age. your young age does mean you’re any less talented, wise or valued than those older than you.

14. be confident in who you are. there is no one else on Earth like you, be proud of the progress you’ve made.

15. being quiet is okay, being reserved does not mean you’re lacking anything. there is beauty in the silence.

16. always express yourself. express your feelings and your love. don’t repress them.

17. don’t let a set back keep you down forever. rest, recover and jump right back where you left off. work hard, practice hard.

18. love yourself and love your friends more. never stop learning and always keep growing.
nct
Cindra Carr Jun 2011
Eighteen misses and three survivors
Two broken marriages with one spiteful lost love
Two warring sisters and too many brothers
Numbers don’t always make the lives of another
Crocheted angels and heartfelt hugs
Gone are the days of each of those
Responsible, avoidant, and spoiled
Resentment, confusion, and miscommunication
Ghosts of the past
Harried, busy, and distant
Buy back the time
Patience, hope, and acceptance
Crowding the cast
Three lives play out creating six more
One life still here caught in time
One life locked in with ghosts of the past

cc062611
Anne Nov 2018
i wanted to
hold
or more so,
touch everything
forever.

this year taught
me differently.
The Day...
...huff, huff, ...huff
breathe
Not one but many,
downed
twenty-two a numbered set
Push!
break, reset, align...
frost, huff,
Great God of Light reveals our Glory!
breathing...breathing
Field of pain, torn, exhausted,
sweat, rain, mist, colder
as grass-stained; the warrior's drobe.

Situate,
whistle! -stop!
Realign,
Randint, paired, matched to offset...
feign, move
'Eleven-by-Eleven,' storied beget
tension

Forty-Five!
Eighteen!
Okemah!

Rush...

In the fields herds collide,
as Chaos, Eros, Geron, Adonai,
War portends a losing side?
The cheering throngs cast coronae...


Eleven steers to sacrifice,
go they do to God.
The ritual structure to suffice,
Violent nature absorbed by sod.


BULL
The origin of football is Sparta. The Game of The Sun. Contact was only allowed when in pursuit of the ball or upon players with ball in hand. You threw the ball at the sun and any player who caught it could run it downfield. All forms of contact to get the ball were allowed including eye-gouging, biting, bone-breaking or even killing. See Justinian's Trogus.
18
I’m eighteen
I been to the west and east coast
I traveled more than any 60 year old in my lifetime
I’m sure I’ve seen everything.
I’m eighteen
I felt and kissed more skin that I can admit but I never lied about who I let in  
Though no one asked me
I remember every moment I closed my eyes and tucked in my chin
I forget more than I forgive
I’m sure I felt everything
I’m eighteen
There’s something I’m not telling you
I’m eighteen
Corey Oct 2017
.1. Life is going to throw the most unexpected curveballs at you and there isn’t a thing you can do about it. You can accept that you’ll never overcome them, or you can learn how to take them and run. You won’t start out hitting home runs off of them, but maybe just bunt a couple and go from there.
2. Life is far too short for what if’s. It’s too short to care about how others think of you. Too short to worry about making everybody happy and way too short to give the wrong people your precious time. And for Gods sake, if you love somebody, tell them! If they already know, tell them often.
3. You have no idea when you might lose somebody you care about. Unfortunately, sometimes you don’t realize how much you cared until they’re gone. Death comes at unexpected times and in unforgiving ways. However, it opens your eyes to so many things about life that you may know, but you don’t live by. Don’t let it go by the first time. Take those lessons and embrace them and live differently.
4. Alcohol is a beautiful poison. Don’t abuse it, enjoy it. If you need six, seven, eight drinks to feel something then you aren’t drinking correctly. Drink less often, have stronger drinks, and don’t drink to blackout.
5. You can do anything for ten seconds. You can do anything for a minute. You can do anything for an hour. You can do anything for a day. You can do anything for a month. You can do anything for a year. You might have to take it a month, a day, an hour, or a minute at a time; but you can do it. Sometimes you need to prove to yourself that you can do something small for a month so that you can do the big thing you need to do for three months.
6. Nothing comes easily forever. You can do something your entire life; something that you don’t need to practice, train, or work too hard for not matter what. Eventually, there will be something harder than you’ve ever done before, and it will not come easily. Don’t be discouraged. What others worked for years to do, you could do in days with little effort. Even like this you will have weaknesses. Work them, even if you don’t need to. That way the day that something is too difficult, it won’t take as much work to get. If you wait, the work will be too much.
7. Nobody cares if you’re sad or having a bad day. They will always expect 100% from you in every regard. You should always be happy. Always be social. Always perform correctly. As impossible as it sounds, the people expecting 100% are satisfied with you faking it.
8. If somebody doesn’t like you; hold your head up high, be polite, engage them in meaningful conversation, and treat them with the utmost respect. Either their minds will change or they’ll be so confused they won’t know what to do. Accept that it will be awkward.
9. Love is funny. Love is sad. Love is perfect. Love is so many things. But it should not be abusive. Abuse comes in way more forms than one. Be on the look out for it. Even the smallest abusive actions have their consequences. Typically they simply build and build.
10. Supportive friends are the friends you want to keep around. The ones that come to your events and cheer you on. The ones that make sure you’re doing okay periodically. The ones that ask you what’s wrong before you even know yourself that something is. Low maintenance friends aren’t bad friends.
11. To do anything other than your passion is absurd. Find it, study it, dive deep into it as best you can. Live for it. And do it for the rest of your life. Hobbies are important. Do those as well, but even those should be filled with passion. It is the one true ineffable feeling.
12. Say yes to opportunities small and large. Anything that puts you outside of your comfort zone, that gives you anxiety just thinking about, is well worth doing. If you don’t do it, you may just regret it for a very long time. Say no only to distractions that prevent you from doing what needs to be done.
13. You cannot re-write the past. No matter how many times you remember something you’ve messed up, you cannot fix it. You also cannot take back spoken words. Be careful what you say at all times. It is far better to wait and think about a response rather than saying what comes to mind first. And do not speak poorly of others behind their backs. It only ends in pain.
14. Make friends wherever you go. Especially if you are uncomfortable with doing so. Talk to strangers on vacations, in the grocery store, and especially at you school or work. One day they might be looking for somebody specific to fill a role that you are perfect for. A simple hello today could be your dream job in the future.
15. Be explorative. How can you have opinions on things you like and dislike if you don’t try everything out in front of you. How can you be cultured if you don’t take the time to learn all cultures. How can you be artistic if you haven’t seen anything worth making into art.
16. The world is changing and you need to change with it. Gender doesn’t mean what it used to mean, and people’s names are changing left and right. Please keep up. It’s offensive to call someone by an old name they had or by the wrong pronoun.
17. It is okay to be deeply sentimental. To hold onto objects that remind you of someone or something. But don’t get wrapped up in these things. Not all of them are important to keep; like messages from four years ago to a person you no longer talk to, or a broken bracelet you used to wear that will never get fixed. Only keep the important things. But do know that what is important to you may not be important to others and visa versa.
18. There is no singular word for all emotions. Though you can find them in other languages; like the French term L’Apple du vide, translated, “the call of the void,” which described the split second phenomenon of wanting to jump off a cliff or pull the steering wheel and crash. You can find these examples, but it’s worth it to sit with a blank page and try and write about what you are feeling in your own words. You learn a lot about yourself and the world.
19. Nature is your best friend. When you’re in a bad mood, go for a walk in the woods. When you’re in the car, roll down the windows and feel the air on your skin. Grow plants that help either yourself, or other animals. Help the bees and the butterflies.
20. Time is scarce when you need it the most. Do not procrastinate anything. Manage your time wisely. Something could be completed in hours; other things need months. This is the idea of hourly time vs. calendar time. But both need to be done spread out, and not all at once.
21. You learn a lot as you grow. When I was eight, I learned that Santa wasn’t real. When I was twelve, I learned how easy it is to break hearts. When I was fifteen, I learned what loss is. When I was eighteen, I learned the difference between love and lust. When I was twenty, I learned what fear is, and since then I have learned how fragile life is. Everything I’ve learned has been preparing me for my future. Eight prepared me for fifteen which prepared me for twenty. Twelve prepared me for eighteen which has prepared me for the present. Every event is a lesson worth learning whether you want it or not. It prepares you for an unknown future. It may take years for the lesson to reveal itself, but it is worth the struggle. Everybody learns something everyday but it is imperative that you remember these things, or at least remember the lesson learned so that in the future you won’t make the same mistake, won’t be in the same type of pain for as long, and won’t have to be taught a second time.
Unedited
Madi Feb 12
eighteen years have come and gone

you were eighteen when you met me

i'm eighteen now and trying to remember me

eighteen years have come and gone
&
i know more about heartbreak than i do love
MKF Oct 2016
I'd hang a dreamcatcher above my bed,
If I thought it would keep you out of my head.
Because I've wondered, since age eighteen,
About all the things that might have been.
Unsure, I have tread lightly,
Though your lips haunt me nightly.
I awake, hopeful but unsure,
That I crossed your mind the night before.
And I am haunted by how real your lips seem,
Because I know you are just a dream.
I'd hang a dreamcatcher above my bed
If I thought it would keep you out of my head.
emilee haman Jul 2015
July 17, 2014
i hate myself because i'm not who i want to be.
the face in the mirror staring back at me isn't me.
these empty voids can't be filled;
not with love, hatred, or even lust.
i want to be done.

July 26, 2014
i am done.

July 27, 2014
i said i'm done but i'm not.
i can change
things can change
this is not my end.

October 18, 2014
things are starting to look up.
i am SO content
i am happy to be alive

November 8, 2014
is this a lie?
is anyone truly happy?

December 12, 2014
i can't go down that road
i'm lost
afraid
and begging for help

February 11, 2015
everyone says life is better after high school
if i can make it until graduation everything will be okay

April 27, 2015
what will they write about me once i'm gone?
will i be missed?
do you think everyone will hate me?
will they understand?

May 23, 2015
i'm eighteen now
i have to pull it together
adults don't think like this

May 30, 2015
high school is over
i'm not happy
i'm lost

June 15, 2015
who am i?

July 13, 2015
am i a good person?
did i change the world?
will i be missed?

July 14, 2015
----------------------
Written July 14, 2015
imo Sep 2018
twelve back at twenty
hungry hands and dirtier words
wavering affection that wont stay long

ten back at eighteen
none ice cold nor lazy scowl
can it grow when the lights aren’t on?
what is this math *******
Paul Hansford Jul 2016
Over the years, I taught so many classes
in many different schools,
long-term or short.
Hundreds and hundreds of  students,
all ages, three to eighteen years old.

But how could I remember all of them?
I was the teacher; they were there to learn.
Those were our roles; that was the contract.
They would move up and I move on, for all of us
always a new beginning.
                                           But now and then
one will return to haunt me, like the girl
whose secret tiny friend, Little Mister Hansford,
drove a red plastic car.
I keep it now, in my drawer,
and remember.

The boy, his skin
flaking and cracked with eczema, trying to resist
the urge to scratch, but always failing.
How could he bear to wake each day to face that life?
Yet I was proud he claimed me for his brother;

On a school exchange visit,
another girl, seventeen,  
crossing the Alps in a coach,
moved beyond tears
by her first sight of real mountains.

Do they remember?
Maybe they do. A young man I met by chance
one day on a Spanish street
surprised me by recalling
how I read Winnie-the-Pooh when he was small,
and did the animals in different voices.

So many children, so many years have gone,
but memories, like love, can linger on.
"He do the police in different voices" was the original title of T.S. Eliot's "The Waste Land".
It has been eighteen years
Since that dark and gloomy day
Our hearts are still grieving
As a result of the chaos on display
The events that unfolded right before our eyes
Sadly presented devastation and corruption
The whole universe reacted with a melancholy tone
Everyone appeared to be in a state of frustration
Four planes ran off course and crashed
And buildings started to fall
A horrific and **** scenery presented itself
As our backs were against the wall
The appearance of a sullen and dour mood
Many people cried lots of tears
The acrimony lives on to this day
Sadly, after all of these years
Olga Valerevna Jun 2017
eighteen years of patience
have carried you through
made one of a body
that used to be two
the womb you were given
was meant to be shared
make room for each other
and Life will take care
[of every moment
I cannot be there]
together you got here
together you'll go
back into your mother
again to be sewn
John 3:1-21
abigail ward Jan 2018
you pushed yourself onto me after school in a hallway
your breathe smelled like like ****
you stroked my hair and asked if i was single while calling me baby girl but I didn't have the power to lie and say no instead a lifeless yes was forced out of my mouth
you an eighteen year old stranger taking advantage of me a fifteen year old. I was only 15 when I was ruined by you. A fifteen year old girl already struggling, a girl who only wanted to go home and cry when you pushed yourself onto me kissing my head, my neck I was paralyzed you pushed me up against those lockers as I pushed back my tears.
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