you may or may not find this,
in the middle of the night
or on a rainy sunday afternoon.

my mind runs rampant,
while my heart is still,
because i realized what love is
at the very least, a fragment of it;

love looks past flaws and chaos,
past the foreseeable risk & damage,
and i know i did amidst it all
leaving no room for me to regret.

i know i tugged your soul
towards a better light, a better day
because i stayed with you at your worst
and now remain bewildered when you say
you've changed for the better.

forgive a heart that wavered,
i used to think love is a home;
we always move someplace better
when all the heart feels is nothing but homeless.

i had to unlearn that.

to venture love as strength,
to lose and find oneself over
and over again & be better;
because lost is a lovely place
to find oneself,
and to begin again.

and as i bid you my final farewell,
i'd like to let you know
that i'll tuck the memories within,
hold them dearly and know deep in myself;
i have loved and i have no regrets.

and i will love again,
break again,
get lost again,
find myself & begin again.

IA

some concretes break,
for a wildflower to thrive.

IA

i walked into a place named 'love';
while i was young, naïve, and recklessly filled with wonder,
"heart is still fragile but let her in to learn", a voice said.

i stood in the middle, a little lost
"how did you know how to love?" i asked a passerby,
"nobody does, they just do", answered the creature,
and so i ventured the corners for a long time at watch.

"maybe we could venture it out together,"
young soul, those words made my heart flutter
like serendipity, it made living worthy and better
time flew with no end in sight to ponder;

and i believed all love was good,
but wrong ones end for good
"you love a little too much," was the reason
but is there ever too much or a boundary of enough,
for lovers to strangers is a miserable transition

"some people have to grow apart,"
and so i picked the shattered fragments part by part,
"i never knew young love has an inevitable end,
all i did was love, but here i am now, hell-bent."

"there's a sign at the front door most people ignore;
'right time, right love, before the right person',
but everyone recklessly walks right through, looking so sure,
thinking love is all good until the wrong kind turn them into fractions."

IA

a man appeared in my dream last night;
a kind soul and his features were clear,
a fragile heart tugged, i know i'm not his dear
i woke up, wanting to hold him tight.

IA