In the labor of birth he taught her the secret of life: to ride the waves of fear and take the ebs, the crests, let go.
She did not know the second wave of birth was yet to come.
High, strong shrills of joy echoed through the hospital, reminding the world that miracles abound.
Heart beat to heart beat they held each other bound for all time.
Both free to their singular bodies, after their nine months as one.
In the days after she reminisced about the first ultra sounds of watching his joyous twirling within. Bright with life and safe within her.
His pattern of life set to the sun quickly. His cries of hunger were as predictable and steady as the stars crossing the 2am February skies.
All was calm in the darkness of winter. When the awe of birth settled purity shone bright, a swell arose.
The eb pulled on her. She began to sink into darkness. Each pull telling her no measure of love could ever keep her son from hurt.
Her heart quickened, fracturing at the truth, collapsing releasing the lifetime of fear.
All she was wounded by bled into their joy. All that she doubted since her birth crested and peaked over them. The great flood of her emotions loomed over as she held him.
She held her baby tight, heartbroken, she learned why mothers and children are smotherd and consumed in the waves of evil that await purity.
It spoke to her, she became darkness, questioning his agonies and hardships he would endure. Her spirit thin and weak, broke and all went dark.
In her last thoughts her mind looked for orientation.
She held him, looking at his light. Bright and pure.
"Stop shining they all see! Hide!" Her fears consumed her.
The second wave of birth, that crests in the weeks following broke. She gave up and knew she was gone. Her own light torn into darkness.
Heart shattered, spirit broken she let go.
In her last gaze back at the world she saw his light, flickering joyous, bright and eternal.
It called to her, collected her and pulled her within his heart.
He took them through her darkness, his purity and joy, his light, holding each other as the world of darkness passed and the miracle of life eased into days and weeks and years.
I was so joyous when I learned I would become a mother. Loved being pregnant, birth came so fluidly...
As a Native American mother, our custom required that mothers and new borns are to stay inside, thirty days.
It was in that time that bad things happen. We cross life to bring back life, and on return I broke.
I couldn't watch the news, I couldn't taste bad food, I couldn't touch my own body, except with a scratching stick (as is custom). And when the darkest of thoughts came, I realized why mothers **** their children. And the wave of guilt and fear broke me.
Hormonal powers are strong... humans are made in three parts- mind, body and soul...
We were reborn together in the thirty days after Feb 2001
