"dudes" poems
There's a girl out there.
And she's been looking for you.
Yet,
Her only problem is,
She's distracted by all these dudes.
Hot ones
Ugly ones.
Smart and stupid.
There's athletic ones
Gamer ones
And the one who acts like a kid.
She's on the verge of crying.
Her head down, almost sobbing in despair.
She sees the guys ; thinking it's you
and they constantly give her heart little tears.
You'll find her on the street
Cold
Accepting defeat.
So it's your job to guide her.
Show her you're the one shes been looking for.
But remember to make sure she's the one.
Mistake her for none.
Ask her her name.
And she'll tell you "Lost."
Jan 14, 2013
Jan 14, 2013 at 8:10 PM UTC
[Chorus:]
I make ******* insecure
Ah, I make ******* insecure
I make bitches's insecure
It not my fault that I rock you ****** world [x2]
[Verse 1]
Hold up let me catch my breath
Why you hoes jockin on me here gettin bread
Pockets stay fat like I just won the menu
Couldn't catch it open if I had no [?] click
He neva met a ***** like me
And he knew he couldn't have me
So he told his ***** to get like me
Miss pinky I'm rockin ****** world
Call me bird cause I can **** on any nighaa and his girl
Yea I'm cocky and ***** I got a reason
Name one chick set trends all season
Stay on my grind, cause you know yo girl the ****
And I'm not like cream, but I can get yo nigha wet
Everywhere I go I'm the center of attention,
****** tryna show off and get my attention
Did I mention
They call me miss distraction,
Cause I can split a ***** from his ***** like a fraction
[Chorus]
[verse 2]
Throw me my mic, no need for an intro
Falen don't act like you don't know
I mess it up stay jerkin, everyone must stare
My steeze so hot it can straighten your hair
Comin through like a raven,
My jerkin videos, stay on dudes pages
I'm that bomb nigha I'm nuclear
Don't call me
I'm like solar we stand out yea
***** we bright, skinny jeans
Yea ***** we tight yup yup that's right
So complex have the crowd restless
While I'm yellin out we the baddest (we the baddest)
No love honey
Slap ****** and take they money
I'm money hungry
**** so lovely
Flirt so EFF, ingggg DOPE .! !
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
***** *** ******* wanna talk ****
Cause I'm that *****
And don't call me a bad *****
Call me a average *****
I'm badder
I more than
You hoes be lacking
It's like I'm the teacher when I be rappin
My flow so sick, when I'm done they start clappin
I put a bullet through your chest
***** they up on me tryna **** with it
Tryna get up in my ******* like I'm some kinda hoochie
Don't **** a ***** ***** cause they all boogie boogie
Yea and I'm 2 fly To **** with you
No I'm 3 fly everbody know me know
Yea an I'm so fly they be on me, on me.
[Chorus]
[Verse 4]
Money money money
Thats all I wrote
I stay on top
Your the water I'm the boat
Alway a **** and never a ***
I stay with mo plus ****** plus dough
Young in the game but I ain't a little girl
It jus take ten nigaas to rock my world
Rock rock my world, yea rock my world
So, I want you you you plus you
Plus the boy back there lookin cute in the blue
(You kinda cute)
People hate me cause they can't do what I do
Mean muggin I laugh at you
I took you man then stole yo boo
Blah blah it's true
Heart so cold like a freakin igloo
Got all these nighas like boo hoo
And on these tracks I go cookoo
Nov 22, 2013
Nov 22, 2013 at 1:16 PM UTC
Amid the verbose magicians
Seeking kinships
And sailing deep into their arduous mists
Watching them peddle their afternoon
To a handful of smiling children holding their breath
Amazed in gentle body trick
The older men of age
Leaning deep into their creased chins
Stroking the grizzled fat
Blinding light of soul
Staring down the barrel of life
Striking the enemy one last time
And yet smiling
sober,
Met of match,
taking care of their kids.
Then there's the cold-clocked dudes
On the phone pushing buttons
In a button-up raglan
Lost indistinct
the promised land
The golden shores swept away by
inconvenient time
Left shopping in an auto mall
"Won't you look at the time?"
7.07 APR
Boy what a steal!
And Steve maddened and screamed
As the lines blurred instinctual between opposing teams
And the oven dinged a great alabaster slant
Leaning towards the new millenitants
Rise up!
***** the wheel
Turn the axel from pistons
To alkaline metal
And doubt with great monumental
Quality
That the machine borders all
And we cannot retreat
And while I sift bouyantly between the waves
Searching the puzzle piece within the molecules
Reconnecting with the things
And representing
dreams on a 66 hertz screen
I call rather failing
Towards a black rocked shore
Towards the sweet Dorigen
Of my dreams
Finding an integral of time
And space
And calculating the intangible slope
Of my desmise
With the imaginary constiutent
Of that lighted mind.
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 4:24 PM UTC
bon scott plays up a VOLCANO IN GUATEMALA
you see i start a partying in the night today
we are rocking and a rolling, yeah party, yeah
ya see we bring that volcano down to gualamala
yeah it’s about as cool as eating a banana
rock, ****** rock this volcano made ‘em rock
bring this party to the other end and rock
guatemala, is rocking tonight with malt and lava
is a rocking all night long
you see the house is a rocking, don’t bother knocking
yeah we will party, party we shall
rock this volcano, wreck the old life, WOW
i am going to get my spirit, and shake it down there
make all the people guatemala grin and ****** bare
and now i welcome slim dusty, i would love to have a beer with him
we drink in moderation dude, but our future, looks quite dim
yeah, we’ll drink in the town and country dudes
the people of guatemala feel distraught
cause we sent a big volcano, dude, from jupiter moon, that’s right
you see now we bring robert palmer in
how can it be permissible, oh yeah
this volcano in guatemala is unstoppable, ha
i wish there were ways to end it yeah
i would grab a methane and top it on ya, yeaH
It’s a strange occurrence first, it’s ****** hot, oh yer
it really destroys guatemala, dude the volcano is simply unstoppable
the walls are are shaking, the floor is melting
ya see, yeah we are covered in lava, and feel like ya melting
then i get up and look around, and i look up and see a volcano thrashing guatemala
ya see the volcano shook this town all night long
we’ll party on all night long
and then i get down and look around, to see if nobody has tipped methane on slim
you are hayley from bratayley
you are cool, the coolest dude around
i get up, and we’ll party down, we’ll drink ‘em down
then the old old man let’s out a big big frown
and i see barry allan as he walks past, i said come in bas boy, party on
and i tip a methane smoothie on barry, which shook the town of guatemala all night long
the methane shook it all night long
then slim dusty said, i will get a baked potato baked potato toast and jam
jupiter shook the guatemala volcano all night long, my dear
slim then said, watch bratayley, for me with new families, peter sergeant from canberra and ivy gimbert
and ivy and peter walked in and said, would you stop singing it up here
cause we need some COOL, for earth
baked potato baked potato, uhhhh baked potato
and then bon scott came up and said, PARTY PARTY,
and rock guatemala, while your at it, OK
AND we’ll keep this party rolling guatemala volcano malt and lava
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 11:42 PM UTC
You take my breath away
You sweep my feet out from under me
You catch me by surprise
When I look in your eyes
And I see
That you believe in me
Want me to succeed
You freeze all of the pain that is hibernating in my heart
You melt me down until you see nothing but emotion
Give me potion
That shows my weaknesses
Forcing me to turn them into strengths
And fate has brought you to me
Just keep smiling and I promise you'll never lose me
You know exactly what to say to bring me out of my dark place
And that's not easy
Ask anybody who knows me
You make my pain subside
And I realize
That I'm alive when you are near me
But you don't even see past the wall that's called friendship
You have all these dudes talking to you
But I'll treat you like a princess
I want to defend your honor
Harbor all the feelings I have
And write so they can make sense
Because honestly you've taken my sense of direction
My moral compass leads directly to you
Throw that thing in the garbage and I'll still go directly to you
You see you might not see that I believe in you and me
And if there is a you and me
I swear to love you unconditionally
You have my head spinning
And in my dizziness I only see you
You are the bright light that brings me out of the fog
You are my North Star
I look at you
And I'm home
Nov 16, 2013
Nov 16, 2013 at 10:02 AM UTC
UMMMMMMMMM SAVE US FROM THESE ONLINE KILLERS
UMMMMMMMMM THEY ARE JUST TRYING TO ENJOY THE FUTURE OF TECHNOLOGY
UMMMMMMMMM PLEASE SAVE OUR YOUNG, UMMMMMMM THEY ARE TREATED LIKE TOYS
UMMMMMMMMM STOP THESE INTERNET PREDATORS, UMMMMMM FROM GETTING THEIR WAY WITH VICTIMS
UMMMMMMMMM THE COMPUTER ISN’T A TOY, IT CAN BE DANGEROUS, DON’T LET MY OLD ME, IN ANY OF YOU
I DON’T WANT PEOPLE GETTING ME WRONG UMMMMMMMMM I WANT ANY SIDE OF KIDNAPPER OUT OF ME
UMMMMMMMMM PLEASE COUNCIL BRETT’S FAMILY UMMMMMMMMMM PLEASE COUNCIL BRETT’S FAMILY
UMMMMMMMMM THESE INTERNET PREDATORS MUST BE STOPPED, UMMMMMMMM BURT IT’S HARD TO STOP THEM
UMMMMMMMMM YOUTUBE IS FUN AND UMMMMMMMMM DONE IN THE RIGHT WAY, FACEBOOK IS FUN
UMMMMMMMMM YOUNG DUDES, BE CAREFUL, UMMMMMMM YOUNG DUDES BE CAREFUL
UMMMMMMMMM DON’T MAKE STRANGE FRIENDS, UMMMMMMM CHOOSE YOUR MATES CAREFULLY
UMMMMMMMMMM CAUSE, THIS IS A HORRIBLE EVENT UMMMMMMM HELP GIVE EVERYONE PROPER COMPUTER CLASSES
UMMMMMMMMMM ON HOW TO HAVE FUN ON COMPUTER UMMMMMMM MY DAD WHO DIED AND BORN AGAIN AS ELIZABETH ANN CAMPBELL
UMMMMMMMMMM ALWAYS TRIED TO UNDERSTAND TECHNOLOGY UMMMMMM DON’T LET INNOCENT BOYS BE CAPTURED BY COMPUTER GEEKS
UMMMMMMMMMM NO COMPUTERS ARE FUN, SOCIAL MEDIA IS FUN UMMMMMM BUT PREDATORS ARE DANGEROUS
UMMMMMMMMMM DON’T LET WHAT HAPPENED TO BRETT, HAPPEN TO YOU, UMMMMMMMM TECHNOLOGY IS FUN, UMMMMMMM TECHNOLOGY IS FUN
UMMMMMMMMM BUDDHA ATHENA AND CROBUS, WHO IS ME, TO STOP ONLINE PREDATORS, GET THE HANDS ON OUR YOUNG
UMMMMMMMMM EVEN IF THEY ARE YOUNG THEMSELVES, UMMMMMMMMMM YEAH, BRING US PEACE FROM STUPID PREDATORS
UMMMMMMMMMM I AIN’T COOL TO **** UMMMMMMMMMM LIKE THE MAN DOING BURNOUTS IN THE CARPARK UMMMMMMM IT MIGHT LOOK FUN
UMMMMMMMMMM BUT IT COULD’VE KILLED THAT LADY, UMMMMMMMMMM IS IT REALLY WORTH IT, UMMMMMMMM IS IT REALLY WORTH IT
UMMMMMMMMMMM IS IT REALLY WORTH IT, TO **** FOR TECHNOLOGY, UMMMMMMMMM IT DOESN’T IMPROVE THE WORLD
UMMMMMMMM TO SEE ONLINE PREDATORS, GET THEIR WAY, UMMMMMMMMMM UMMMMMMMMMM UMMMMMMMMMM
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 12:06 AM UTC
WHAT ABOUT THE NEXT GENERATION
THE ONLY WAY TO GET TO THE NEXT GENERATION
IS GET A FLAMING COMPUTER, GET THE INTERNET, AND PAY TV
AND YOU CAN BE AS COOL AS ME, IF YA HAVEN’T GOT A COMPUTER
YOU ARE A COMPLETE LOSER, WHO IS A TAD BRAINLESS
NO THE COMPUTER IS THE SIGN OF THE NEXT GENERATION
NOT LITTLE YOUNG DUDES WHO ARE JEALOUS OF YA
NEH, THE COMPUTER IS THE GATEWAY, TO THE NEXT GEN, BABY
NOTHING IS GOING TO TAKE YOU THERE QUICKER, THAN A COMPUTER
A COMPUTER IS COOL, CAUSE IT SHOWS YOU WHERE ALL THE GREAT PARTIES ARE
WHEN YOUR FAVOURITE FOOTY TEAM IS PLAYING
IT SHOWS KIDS HAVING A BALL WITH YOUTUBE, BY PUTTING ON VLOGS
AND WRITING BLOGS AND YOU CAN DISPLAY YOUR ART ON A COMPUTER
THE WORLD GETS TO SEE IT, AS WELL AS WRITING, IT’S ****** FUN
FACEBOOK IS COOL AS WELL, YOU CAN DISPLAY ART ON THAT AS WELL
SO IF ANYONE SAYS COMPUTERS **** AND NOT THE NEXT GENERATION
THEY CAN GO AND **** A LEMON, AND I WILL BE AS CHEEKY AS I WANT
TO SHOW, THAT COMPUTERS, CAN TAKE YOU TO THE NEXT GEN FASTER
THAN ANY JOB THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO BE IN
I WANT TO BE AN ENTERTAINER, I AM BETTER, BUT DIFFERENT TO OTHERS WHEN IT COMES TO STYLE
HEY BABY, OOH YEAH, COMPUTERS CAN SLIDE YA TO THE NEXT GEN, YEAH
HEY BABY OOH YEAH, COMPUTERS CAN SLIDE YA TO THE NEXT GEN YEAH
YA SEE AS I SEARCH AROUND CYBER SPACE
I SEE SOME NICE LOOKING CHICKS, YOU MEAN, NICE, I SAID YEAH NICE
THEY ARE SO PRETTY, VERY PRETTY, HEY BABY, OOH YEAH OH YEAH
I WANNA PARTY WITH THE COOL PEOPLE HANGING ON CYBER SPACE
YOU SEE COMPUTERS ARE THE GATEWAY, TO THE NEXT GEN YEAH
AND WE OPEN UP A NICE COLD BEER, SHE’S SO BEAUTY
WONDERFULLY, DRESSED FOR THE OCCASION YEAH
COMPUTERS ARE FUN, NOT FOR THE SQUARES, WHO JUST WORKS IN DEAD END JOBS
FOR ME, COMPUTERS ARE THE KEY TO MY FUTURE
I AM NOT LIKE MY BIG KOOMARRI MAN OF A MATE, LYLE
I LOVE SOCIAL MEDIA, I AM COOL MAN, UP IN COMPUTER TERRITORY NOW, BUDDY BOY
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 10:27 PM UTC
robots helping us
you see it’s been a wanted thing for generations
but i saw on TV that they have already built robots
to help the elderly, ya know, by getting them a drink, so to speak
there are many things robots can do around your home
i am a messy dude too, and i have cleaners cleaning my house
but robots can do a lot more, than w2hat your think they can do
well, robots in the kitchen helping the elderly
the sky’s the limit, how about robots to clean the mentally ill persons house
yeah, it could help, we are still in the planning stages
but it’s good that they are still bringing robots for help around the house
everyone wants that, but it’s not as easy as live in with a robot helping you
a robot can turn itself into a computer, to allow you to watch stuff on youtube
and get educated, i am feeding my stuff on youtube, for the future robots
can see me as a cool figure or authority figure
computers should stop violence, if your video contains violence, youtube should rid that
not my content, get over it copyright people, violence is much much worst
there is nothing wrong wit parties, as long as they ain’t violent
this robot can help get rid of violence in cyber space, if more can get it
think about it, Robots can get your housework done while your out
you program it, to what you want him to pick up, it’ll be pretty ****** rad dudes
that little robot vacuum, is to small, but you can get this world full of robots by the year 3000
if everyone can tell their story, ya see, everyone is different, not everyone knows much about what robots should do, yet
not everyone agrees with my work, but, think about it, the robot can be programmed to pick up your *******
and take it to the curve, always understanding, how to sort out the ******* yeah
i would love a robot to help me, like everyone, will love a robot to help them
robots can make you love life more easier, i love life now, but robots can ease my cleaning woes
these words say, robots need people to help and understand people, by physically helping them
as opposed to hearing it’s not good to help them
that is whjy i am interested in gungahlin’s common ground, to cook for them, learn from them
so the year 3000, can create a perfect robotic world
when ya think of people robots, don’t think get someone off their *****
no, no no you have to feed the internet all your stuff, ok, even paranormal
cause the internet is interested, no matter
don’t worry about how many views, think of the future with robots
and believe in reincarnation, buddhist style, every blade of grass
got a thought, tell the internet, or the computer word document
CATCH YA LATER DUDES
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 12:38 AM UTC
THOSE WERE GREAT FIREWORKS HOORAH
YEAH, PRETTY RADICAL FIREWORKS HOORAH
THE FIREWORKS ARE ****** RAD
AS THEY ARE SHINING BRIGHTLY WITH THE GHOST OF DAD
MY COSMIC ENERGY HAS IMPROVED
SINCE I STARTED WITH THESE EMAILS
I SHULD BE THE THE 75 LIKE TO THIS VIDEO, HOORAH
YEAH, FIREWORKS ARE A GREAT WAY TO PARTY, HOORAH
I AM THE COOL PERSON, WHO SEES DADDY'S GHOST
IN A GIANT PUFF OF SMOKE
I THINK HEAVY METAL SHOULD JOIN THE FIREWORKS
TO ADD FOR A VERY SPECIAL EFFECT
PRETTY MUCH LIKE SKYFIRE IN MARCH IN CANBERRA
FIREWORKS, THEY LIGHT UP THE SKY, OH YEAH
FIREWORKS, PRETTY **** RAD, HOW COOL
I LIKE JUDAS PRIEST, AND ACCA DACCA TOO
BUT AS EACH FIREWORK SHINES, DUDES
IT LIGHTS THE SKY FOR YOU
HAPPY NEW YEAR, DUDES
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 4, 2015 at 4:56 AM UTC
I hate the way you hold cigarettes
and how you never drunk text me
at 3am. I want to be the person you
think of when a sloppy drunkard
is kissing you at a bar. His breath
rank with stale stogies, light beer,
and cheap whiskey. He uses way too
much tongue and swears his ****
won’t fit in a ****** He couldn’t
spell *********** and even if he uses
his fingers, it’s not enough to make you
*** I hate bad lovers and that’s all
I imagine you with. Dudes who say
“wanna play just the tip?” and other
lame *** **** because nobody ever
told them “ladies first” and you have
to stimulate the ****
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 18, 2014 at 2:45 PM UTC
a ***** went partying
in the club friday night
where he met up with kenneth
trying to ruin his rep
party on yeah dude party on oh yeah
party on yeah dude party on oh yeah
a ***** went partying
in the club friday night
when he met up with susan
who had some champagne
she said, do you wanna share some of this
the ***** said YES
as
a ***** went partying
in the club friday night
he met up with thomas
who said just one word at a time
which was party, the ***** said who with
thomas said everybody
oh yeah let’s party come on dudes, party
a ***** went partying
in the club friday night
when he met up with brian
with a bourbon and coke
brian said, what do you want
wild turkey or jim beam
the ***** said, whatever you choose i’ll enjoy it, i guarantee it
the ***** went partying
in the club friday night
when he met up with caleb
who said, have you had enough
the ***** said no, not yet
i want to have 4 bottles of XXXX
and sink them down with you
the ***** went partying
in the club friday night
where he met up with peter
who says PARTY ON MATE
cause peter will drink any drink you put in front of him
and sometimes he will take someone else’s drink
like the yobbo’s
so the ***** went partying
down the club friday night
and with all the alcohol he drank
he gazed into the night
and say, PARTY RIGHT, DUDES
time to go home mr *****
Jun 15, 2016
Jun 15, 2016 at 8:03 AM UTC
Hi, my name is briansies the older sibling, oh yeah
You see I am a bit different to the rest of the world
They like drinking themselves silly, and I simply don't
I want to sleep while others are still out
I never took off to another city at the heat of the moment
Because I worry about what could happen
Instead of actually playing proper sport
I will just settle for backyard sports
And I will enjoy that a lot, oh yeah
My highest score in a single cricket innings is 846 n.o
And I try to keep my score above my younger sibling
And he will say Briansies, what are you doing
And I would say, I just want to be more popular than you
And he would hit me with his rhythm fist, hit me oh yeah hit me
Hit me slowly, man and hit me quick, oh hit me hit me hit me
I would say, do you like hitting me
And he will say, I hit you all night long
I hit you baby, all night long, and if you can't take it, man
You are a baby, waaaa waaaaa waaaaaa
Then I said to him, hi, my name is Briansies, the older sibling, oh yeah
Then me and my sibling, and my father went for an early morning swim
And we body-surfed and splashed each other, yeah we had fun
My sibling would say, this is unfair, and dad would say
Oh, poor little baby, our splashing is making you very tender and weak
Ooh we had better stop, don't you reckon
And I wanted to be a friend to my sibling, so I said
Hi, I am bop, Briansies and I am ready to bop with you, oh baby ooh ooh
I want you to be happy, because I like boppin' around going bop bop bop
And I go right to the shop, yeah, I am bop, the guy down the shop
My sibling will call me a **** but it doesn't bother be, cause my name is
Briansies, the older sibling, oh yeah, and I am so cool, dudes
And that is what we want, just Briansies,
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 2:00 AM UTC
Like dude:
It's all just one big
Hippie commune
But everyone pretending
To
Own a pile a ****
And guns!
--
-------
Hey babe!
If ya wanna get laid
Just spread your legs
..
If you want love
Better learn some things
-------about it---------
---
Most of you seem
Like
You're already stupid
So
You don't gotta go
To
High school
Anymore!
----
In my last poem
I walked the Long beach
Home
So in this one
I'll
Just hang out with
Da dudes
In the hippie commune
--
Hey you!
Why don't you come too
May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013 at 1:52 AM UTC
he dudes want to battle my verses
they can't even read my curses
Jamaican style,I'll ****** you with curses
then write your ulogy in cursive
you can't understand my flow your so subversive
i'm deeper than the surface,
i'm so submersive
so stop playing with my time, you are so not worth it
if you want to get beat you can get tekken,
i'll transform into sun-tsu
and use your one style against you,
theirs two sides to every story
so this plot
could get complex
i'm already at the top
so if you try to climb-max
**** could get confusing,
trust me- you don’t want me ******* to my own conclusion
don’t force my hand, I’mma a dope dealer
with more beemers than than a four wheeler
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 10:17 PM UTC
easter is time is coming soon hooray hooray
you see the easter bunny is giving out the eggs hooray oh yeah dudes, come on
you see the easter bunny is on his way
to give us all treat ya say
yeah mate yeah dude, i love the easter bunny oh yeseree
someone asked me to a tweet a thin hooray hooray
i said, come on let’s party now, it’s easter hooray hooray
you see the easter bunny is coming soon
i saw a man smoke a big wide balloon
ya see, the world of buddha said computers are a place to be
and easter hot cross buns are really partying oh yeah oh yeah
we say hail to the easter bunny, the easter bunny, the easter bunny
hail to the easter bunny, cause he is so cool
hail to the easter bunny, the easter bunny the easter bunny
hail to the easter bunny, cause he is so cool
i got a little bunny, as he crawls through the bushes yeah
ya see he is the cutest thing around this world
the funny little bunny with a powder puffed tail
you see when i go to grandmas house, we look at the flowers there
but the big bad woof, scared us all, it was up to the funny little bunny with a powder puffed tail
and the easter bunny is cool
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 7:25 AM UTC
**** men, guys, dudes, boys... in fact anything that walks on two legs and has a ***** between those two legs, or any other kind of elongated genitalia for that matter.
**** the simple ones who guzzle beer and scream at other men in a small box
**** the sensitive ones who weep at the intensity of their emotions to you
**** that cool ones who speak in a language of esoteric band and brand names
**** the intellectual ones who have their opinions shoved so far up their **** it bleeds out their mouth
**** the business types who's cool indifference is callous
**** the health-conscious gym-working-out ones who's 9pm bed time leaves you star gazing alone
**** the hippy ones who's lofty, hot air talk leaves you with a nasty feeling in your nose like you need to sneeze but it is stuck inside
**** the ones who are "different" but an trip on the bus is more entertaining than their recycled conversation
Last of all **** the decent, hard working, ones who have girlfriends that are non-flaky, pulled-together, skinny-organic-soy-latte-drinkers, only-wear-Karen-Walker, I-have-no-daddy-issues, law-majors
**** it all really
Feb 28, 2015
Feb 28, 2015 at 5:29 PM UTC
Hi my name is Briano alliano and welcome the Jupiter early Christmas party
And the first song is this
Santa Claus came through the computers
Through the computers
Through the computers
Santa Claus came through the computers
Every Christmas Eve night
He will drop presents down cyber space
Cyber space oh cyber space
Making Johnny and frank and tommy and Ryan and many more kids to count
Santa Claus came through the computers
Through the computers
Through the computers
Santa Claus came through the computers
Briany is a cool boy
Who is trying to be good
But nowadays it is harder to go down chimneys because nobody has one no more
But how about sending Santa’s sleigh
Down through cyber space
And and and send
Santa Claus through the computer
Through the computer
Through the computer
Santa Claus came through your computer
Each and every year
Cause daddy has a brand new computer
Just for you this year
Yes daddy gave me a brand new computer
For everybody to see this year
And now here is my funny jingle bells 2020
Dashing through the year
Was the covid 19
Yes the coronavirus has been making
Everybody sick
Victoria copped it bad
And footy started and finished late
I was unhappy that Richmond and storm won but at least Christmas will be cool
Jingle bells jingle bells
Party on at home
Covid 19 is keeping all the people from having fun yeah
Jingle bells jingle bells
Please find a vaccine
So we can go out and party again
Without worrying about touching
You see when you take the kids
To see good ole Santa Claus
You have to book online
And social distancing
So what you have to do
Is stand back and say to Santa
I want a book and a toy to play with
And then get our photo taken
Jingle bells jingle bells
Santa still will come
Covid 19 is really bad
But it doesn’t spoil the hype
Jingle bells party on
At home to be safe
Singing Christmas carols on YouTube mate
Party party party yeah
That was covid jingle bells and now here is
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
In these covid 19 times
The party will still be on
No matter what is on
We wish you a merry Christmas
In the covid 19 year
Party on dudes
Thanks and I will see ya next time
Nov 14, 2020
Nov 14, 2020 at 6:43 AM UTC
HI DUDES ALL OVER THE WORLD, MY NAME IS JOHNNY BROWN
AND I JUST UPLOADED MY AUSTRALIA DAY FIREWORKS DISPLAY
ON LAKE BURLEY GRIFFIN, THIS AIN’T MY FIRST FIREWORKS DISPLAY
I DID, BUT THE FIRST I POSTED ON YOU TUBE, THIS LOOKS SPECTACULAR
YOU SEE EVEN IF I HAD VOICES IN MY HEAD, I DRAINED IT OUT, AND FILMED
THIS GREAT FIREWORKS SHOW, FOR ALL OF YOU, SO WATCH HOW CANBERRA
CAN PUT ON A AUSSIE DAY FIREWORKS SHOW, IT GOES FOR 12 MINUTES
BUT IT’S A FABULOUS FIREWORKS SHOW, PLEASE FIND AT LEAST A QUARTER OF AN HOUR
TO CHECK OUT JOHNNY’S FIREWORKS SHOW, OK
YOU SEE, THIS WAS COOL, AND YOU WILL SEE HOW COOL THIS SHOW IS, OK
SO WATCH HOW I PUT ONE ON, OK DUDES, LET’S PARTY AS YOU WATCH MY YOUTUBE
FIREWORKS SHOW FROM LAKE BURLEY GRIFFIN, ON AAA YOUTUBE TV
ENJOY YASELF, BOBBYE
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 12:15 AM UTC
you used to come home loudly in the dark but
quietly in the day we’d be together
to compensate
we were only in love on Halloweens
you in those hundred dollar costumes worth two
in material and tiny fingers
**** rats and ER surgeons
to me with a pop-culturally relevant ******* mask
Frankenstein (to the dumb dudes that go to these things)
that chisels me like a jell-o mold
that blurs her infinitely beautiful walking-away
the blooming glances pairing parting lips to talk ********
caking the ***** reeling in our heads
winding round the spindle hooked tight
pulling my hard-hat plastic-green face
to the windmill
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 3:02 AM UTC
Red flags in the beginning are easy to turn into little sticky notes, notes for later that sometimes lose their adhesive and fall to the ground much like my current tolerance for ****** dudes
The first known use for red flags was by the military to indicate they’re ready for battle, unfortunately I’ve seen enough red flags to start the next world war
I should’ve known
When I came back from Arizona and he said “you must’ve cheated on me because your ****** feels different”
Not because he’s insecure
or
because he doesn’t know trust
or
because he’s trying to assert control
I should’ve known
When he asked if I “had a problem getting wet because it seemed like that was a thing”
Not because he doesn’t know foreplay
(side note: **** doesn’t teach you foreplay)
or
because he doesn’t actually turn me on
or
because fun fact!- women can be turned on and not be wet
I should’ve known
When he said “if you shaved, then I’d go down on you 24/7”
Not because he was scared that choking on my ***** hair reminded him he’s with a real woman that grows hair
and humans inside her
and ideas
and opinions
and strength
and my body is not yours to give me ultimatums of
I should’ve known
When I asked if figuring out my pleasure was a burden and he answered “actually, yes it is”
Not because he’s too lazy to actually want to pleasure anyone but himself
or
because his only ****** education ended with a .com
or
because no one has ever expected more of him
I should’ve known when he said
“What I want out of a ****** partner is someone that wants me inside of them as soon as possible”
Not “inside my soul”
or
“inside my thoughts”
or
“inside my memories”
or
“inside an intimacy he will never know”
I should’ve known when he said
“Let me show you how Rachel did it”
Not “this is how I like it”
or
“can we try this?”
or
“opening your ******* mind to how another human being moves around you”
I should’ve known when
He spit on my ****** the universal sign for disrespect
Like I deserve the same fate as tobacco swollen cheeks
Like my ****** is your spittoon,
am I the end of a tobacco session or a fancy wine tasting?
these things matter
Now I find it symbolic men are taught to spit while women are taught to swallow
Swallow our reactions
Swallow our feelings
Swallow our voices
Swallow his releases
Swallow his spit
Swallow us whole
When you see a red flag do not ignore that it means battle
This battle is not a healthy one, this battle will leave you bruised
Uproot this flag and take it with you to remind yourself
You can lose every battle and still win the war
11/28/2016 Amanda Powell
Jan 6, 2018
Jan 6, 2018 at 8:59 PM UTC
HATE BEING THE ONE THAT HAS TO BEHAVE
YOU SEE, I KNOW MY BROTHER IS ALLOWED TO SAY WHAT HE WANTS
BUT I HAVE TO WATCH WHAT I SAY, SOMETIMES I AM JUST BEING COOL
I HATE PEOPLE TELLING ME I HAVE TO BE GOOD, LIKE MY PERFECT FAMILY
IT’S HARD TO DISCIPLINED TO, JUST BECAUSE, I MUCKED WITH THE OLD FOGIES
I HATE, HOW PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE A TOTAL AND UTTER LOSER
YOU SEE, WHY DO PEOPLE TRY AND DISCIPLINE ME, I FIND IT HARD
LIKE I CAN’T HELP IT, IF I HATED DADS DISCIPLINE RULE
I CAN’T HELP IT, IF I AM A NICE PERSON
YOU SEE, IF I GOOF UP, I AM TOLD, I HAVE NO MATES ANYMORE
ALL BECAUSE I SAID SOMETHING OUT OF LINE
I KNOW MY BROTHER HAS A WIFE AND KIDS, AND WAS COOL
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE, PEOPLE ONLY LIKING ME
IF I BEHAVE, CAUSE I AM COOL, MAN, THE COOLEST DUDE IN CANBERRA
I HATE WHEN I HEAR THE VOICES BE LIKE US, WHEN I EXPRESS MYSELF OVER THE WEB
YOU SEE, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE NICE, I AM A COOL AND REGULAR GUY
I DESERVE TO BE LIKED, I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKED FOR BEING PATHETIC, NO WAY
I HAD VOICES FROM THE PARANORMAL, YA SEE I AM A NICE COOL PERSON
WHY CAN’T I ENJOY THINGS, JUST BECAUSE I ****** OFF PEOPLE
I FEEL IF I SEE THESE PEOPLE, THEY WILL SAY TO ME, I WAS WRONG
BUT I HATE BEING DISCIPLINED, PLEASE DON’T DISCIPLINE ME
I AM 45, AND I AIN’T COMMITTING ANY CRIMES, I AM STILL SEEING THESE DUDES
I USED TO GET DRUNK WITH, SOME WERE GOOD BLOKES
IT’S JUST THAT BACK THEN, I WASN’T PREPARED FOR OUR OUTINGS
I LIKE FOOTBALL, AND I LIKE GOING OUT HAVING FUN
AND I DON’T WANT TO BE TOLD TO BEHAVE MYSELF I HATED BEING TREATED LIKE A NICE AND POLITE MAN
WHILE MY MATES CAN BE LEFT ALONE, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE
I HATE THAT MAN KEN, I HAVE TO BEHAVE FOR HIM
I CAN’T STAND BEHAVING FOR ANYONE, BEHAVING IS DUNB AND BEHAVING IS WRONG
I HATE CATHOLIC MORALS, AND I HATE DISCIPLINE, BUT I FEEL ONLY OLD FOGIES HAVE DISCIPLINE MORALS
I TRY AND BE GOOD, WHEN I GO OUT TO EVENTS, BUTB SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO EXCEPT DISCIPLINE
CAUSE WHY CAN’T I JUST BE ALLOWED TO MAKE A BIT OF NOISE
I AM ON MEDICATION, YA SEE IT’S MY DESTINATION, I WANT TO BE HAPPY, SO I TAKE MEDICATION
I THOUGHT DAD WAS STARTING TO SEE MY WAY OF LIFE, YOU SEE, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A GOOD BOY
BEING A GOOD BOY DOESN’T WORK FOR ME
I WANT TO BE NORMAL, I WANT TO BE LIKED
I SING A SONG, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH BAZ BOY, CAUSE HE TRIED TO JUST THINK I LIKED DISCIPLINE
I HATE BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP, IF YOU WANT ME TO SHUT UP, I WILL NEVER SHUT UP, CAUSE, I FOLLOW MY OWN STYLE
WHICH IS FUN, I BELIEVE IN HAVING FUN WHEREVER I GO OUT INTO THIS WORLD
I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN’T REALISE, I HATE DISCIPLINE, I DON’T WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE I AM TOO WOOSEY FOR LIFE
I HATE BEING TOLD I HAVE TO BEHAVE, WHY DON’T YOU BEHAVE, YOU TELL ME TO BEHAVE, YOUR A TOTAL LOSER, BUDDY OLE BOY OLE CHUM OLE PAL
I AM GOING TO THE BOTANIC GARDENS TONIGHT, BUT I DON’T WANT TO HANG WITH DISCIPLINE LOVING NERDS
I DON’T DO BEHAVING, OK I WILL NEVER DO BEHAVING, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE AN OLD FOGIE
I AM A COOL MIDDLE AGER, WHO LOVES TO PARTY
STOP DISCIPLINING ME, YA ****
OR I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 16, 2015 at 6:09 PM UTC
AUSTRALIA DAY, BY THE BBQ
CHEER CHEER FOR THE CROWD YS SEE
THE PEOPLE WHO COME TO YOUR BBQ
YOU SEE YOU COOK SAUSAGES A VERY NICE COLD COKE
AND EACH MAN HAS BEER
YEAH YOU SEE EVERYONE YOU SEE WILL PARTY YESEREE
YEAH IT’S ANOTHER AUSTRALIA DAY BY THE BBQ
I BRING OUT 6 ESKIES WITH 400 BEERS
THIS WILL MAKE THE MEN HAPPY
OH BLODDY ****** DEAR
YOU SEE, THERE IS A FEW WELL DONE STEAKS AND A FEW EGG AND BACON ROLLS
OH YEAH, ****** COOL
YOU SEE WE SIT BY THE LAKE IN OUR BLUE AUSSIE GEAR
AND WATCH THE LOVELY FIREWORKS, YEAH, LET’S GRAB US ANOTHER BEER
DON’T FORGET, THERE IS OUR THEORY, DUDE, LAMB LAMB LAMB OH DEAR
YEAH LAMB WILL PUT IN THE A IN AUSTRALIA DAY, YEAH IT WILL OH YEAH
THEN A MAN CAME UP TO ME, AND TOLD ME WATCHA DOING
ARE YOU ENJOYING AUSTRALIA DAY, LIKE IT’S A DAY WORTH CELEBRATING
I HAVE BEEN TO CITIES, THAT HAVE A LOT OF PENANG
FROM FLORIDA, CHICAGO AND THE GREAT BUDAPEST
AND NO MATTER HOW FAR OR HOW WIDE YA ROME
YOU CAN ALWAYS CALL AUSTRALIA
A PERFECT PLACE TO HAVE BBQs, ON JANUARY 26TH
AND WE CHEER COME ON AUSSIR COME ON, YEAH, COME ON AUSSIE COME ON
YA KNOW EACH BOWLER IS COMING DOWN LIKE A MACHINE
THE OPPOSTION IS PLAYING NUMSKULL GAMES IN THE GREEN
WE ARE SCORING RUNS, THROW OUT YA CHEWING GUM
AQND THIS IS THE GREATEST AUSTRALIA DAY, THAT WE’VE EVER SEEN
GO AND HAVE LAMB ON AUSTRALIA DAY
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE, OI OI OI
HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY DUDES
Jan 14, 2015
Jan 14, 2015 at 7:13 AM UTC
hi dudes
i am in a good mood, i am doing the bbq tomorrow
and i tipped
kangaroos over essendon kangaroos won
adelaide over st kilda adelaide won
hawthorn over melbourne hawthorn won
GWS over carlton, GWS won
sydney over geelong, sydney won
west coast over gold coast, west coast won
and if fremantle beat western bulldogs
and collingwood beat richmond
and port adelaide beat brisbane
i have tipped all the winners of this round
i am doing the bbq tomorrow in kippax
hoping i grab the second full winner
May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 8:37 AM UTC
My friends a witch doctor
He wants to grab from within
Yes, he is a witch doctor
He is a horrible beast
And when you feed the witch doctor
You give plenty of yeast
Oh yeah dude you are the coolest dude I ever saw
You are the witch doctor
From Bangalore
You see the witch doctor
He’ll steal food off your plate
Yes that witch doctor
He doesn’t wanna be your mate
He is a witch doctor
Which will grab from within
You see he is a bad witch doctor
We need to lock him up
Oh yeah dudes swing your hips
And party party party real ****** hard
Then the witch doctor
Will move to Australia
To show us you can really party
Without alcohol
But Australians won’t listen mate they need their alcohol
And that is the way of this
Crazy mixed up world
With the witch doctor
Being the target by police
But his powers make the police
Say just this
The witch doctor is too powerful
Nobody will catch him, no
Then the witch, who is the witch doctors wife
She told him to stop his little prank
The witch doctor said
No I will never stop oh no
So the witch cast a spell to make the witch doctor more loving
Then the witch doctor
Went to the party
He really enjoyed himself there
There was no need for evil
The witch and the witch doctor
Lived happily ever after
And they did
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 12:12 AM UTC
Idiot Man
everyone knows about the super hero dudes
the super cool who protect us from the bad and crudes
Batman, Superman, Spiderman even Batgirl too
they use their brains to outsmart villains and fools
to bring justice and kindness to a world sometimes unkind
well I searched all over the net trying to find
a way to create a new man of evil
and no it's not stuntman Evel Knievel
I call him Idiot Man and he lives up to his billing
he writes words of assnine stupidity completely filling
and entire page and more of ideas that are dumb
when he should be in the corner ******* his thumb
he cant recognize beauty when it's right there in sight
he doesn't know how to apologize to set things right
I guess it's hard to find a graceful way out
when you have left absolutely no doubt
that you are in fact Idiot Man
David Nelson ....
Aug 14, 2011
Aug 14, 2011 at 6:30 PM UTC