my body shatters upon impact with any
innocent glance belonging to someone
i feel is capable of the damage
i have become so fragile under
sometimes i feel like the dishes
you smashed against your walls
and other times i feel like the
dripdripdrip coming from your
bathroom sink faucet, it's there
but you don't notice it.
the point is, all i am are fractions
of you while the real me is
trapped in every empty sigh
you released every time i said
"i love you" in hopes you'd repeat
but knowing you wouldn't

your teeth are still dug into my
shoulder, your nails have made
a graveyard of my back
i am going to pull every single
one of them out and i hope
i hope you feel it

Teen angst poetry
dribbled in red pen.
Well, ideally.
I only have black type.

In fact, I never have experienced
teen angst. I only have
the perpetual piece of blackandred
corners me alone

The beast beneath my bed ceases
whenever daddy checks
but I never had a daddy
only a mommy valiantly battling the
blackandred demons her daddy
never scared away either.

and in the
end we feel nothing nothing can
touch us. We are the empty rusty
pail crying out from the Dripdripdrip of
our loneliness because no one comes in
because, in the foggy glass, no one can see each other
and coldandclammy jostling elbows
do Not touch- NeverNever

We hope the redhot heart of the
lovers we hold so closely will defrost
our windshields to the world and let in
Lightlovehopejoyhappiness
Contentment

AND THEN
I have hope enough
that the monsterinmycloset
cannot grip my dangling elbow. Hope that the steep
fall of bladeandblood and littleroundpills
Always stays a few feet away

I call and pray for stray sunbeams.

Later- I pull
out the quicksilver shards of glass
from my eyes and under my polluted
fingernails.
I shrug off their sodden coats.
I won't borrow burdens. Anymore.
So that my light may shine encore
Abeaconpillar of radiance
Est deus in nobis

NOIR-KU! ONE

ashamed of what it was
going to do
my shadow merged into the dark

the sudden light
my shadow
jumping out of my shoes

my shadow leaving
me to my fate
a traitor to the self it served

'CLICK!" said the switch
'LIGHT!" said the light
"Aghhh!!!" I said

I was surprised to be
still me
the bullet journeying through my flesh

I could hear it
thump
into the wainscot behind me

my shadow lay
unconscious on the floor
"Come 'ere!" I swore at it

"We gotta get outa 'ere!"
my shadow pulled our self
up off the floor

my shadow
dragging
my feet

it takes a bullet
passing through ya
to make ya...feel..a...live

I had never felt
more alive in all my natural
I wanted it to stay that way

so...it was
corny as it may seem
the Butler done it

"drIPdrIPdrIP!" the blood screamed
"Ahhhh...shaddup!"
I snapped at it

well well well
Jane Butler was back in town
that would explain a lot of things

"Jane Butler!"
"Jane Butler...Jane Butler!"
"Jane...******...Butler!"

"Well!"
"What..."
"...do ya know!"

a pack of shadows
feeding on
the sole surviving scrap of light
**

NOIR-KU TWO

the headlights hurry ahead
as if making up the road
for the fleeing car

the body in the back
shifted from side to side
let out a groan at each turn

"Ah come on!" she smiled
"...only a flesh wound...lost a lot of blood"
"Ughhh...agggh" said the body

"Look brother...if I wanted you
dead
I would have killed you!"

the world rushed by
everything moving
quickly into the past

"I wanted you alive
so that you could really know
I was going to ****** you!"

her voice was calm
her crimson pout
barely holding back the bitterness

"Jail was no laugh!"
she laughed
her voice like broken glass

"So, you thought you'd leave
the little lady in the lurch
...did you!"

consciousness kept
dipping in and out of my reality
she dipped her lights

the car sped on
throwing the road
over its shoulder

a cop car
approached us
disappeared into the night

somewhere her voice
was talking
her words were like ghosts

"Oh I want you babeeee
to die nice and slow
. . .& know!"

"I call it due process
I want you to see your life
slipping slowly away from you!"

trees lurched after the car
trying to grasp...gasp
I was going to die

the car screeched
to a halt
she looks in mirror...applies makeup

somehow she managed
to get me into the driver's seat
"Boy..." she laughed ". . .your a dead weight!"

"Here babeee...have a last drink!"
she poured the whole bottle
all over me

"Hey...hey..."
I stupidly thought
"That's my favourite ***!"

she let off the handbrake
the car almost tip toed
to the edge of the precipice

the car tottered a bit
unsure of whether
it should take the plunge

finally the car
made up its mind
went for it

"Enjoy your drive
...to hell!" she smirked
lighting another cigarette

"Bye bye bâtard!"
she smiled
using the French

the car tumbling like a toy
then the explosion
lightning up the horizon

she redid her lipstick
"*******!" she cursed
"I got a ladder in my new tights!"

NOIR-KU! ONE

ashamed of what it was
going to do
my shadow merged into the dark

the sudden light
my shadow
jumping out of my shoes

my shadow leaving
me to my fate
a traitor to the self it served

'CLICK!" said the switch
'LIGHT!" said the light
"Aghhh!!!" I said

I was surprised to be
still me
the bullet journeying through my flesh

I could hear it
thump
into the wainscot behind me

my shadow lay
unconscious on the floor
"Come 'ere!" I swore at it

"We gotta get outa 'ere!"
my shadow pulled our self
up off the floor

my shadow
dragging
my feet

it takes a bullet
passing through ya
to make ya...feel..a...live

I had never felt
more alive in all my natural
I wanted it to stay that way

so...it was
corny as it may seem
the Butler done it

"drIPdrIPdrIP!" the blood screamed
"Ahhhh...shaddup!"
I snapped at it

well well well
Jane Butler was back in town
that would explain a lot of things

"Jane Butler!"
"Jane Butler...Jane Butler!"
"Jane...******...Butler!"

"Well!"
"What..."
"...do ya know!"

a pack of shadows
feeding on
the sole surviving scrap of light
**

NOIR-KU TWO

the headlights hurry ahead
as if making up the road
for the fleeing car

the body in the back
shifted from side to side
let out a groan at each turn

"Ah come on!" she smiled
"...only a flesh wound...lost a lot of blood"
"Ughhh...agggh" said the body

"Look brother...if I wanted you
dead
I would have killed you!"

the world rushed by
everything moving
quickly into the past

"I wanted you alive
so that you could really know
I was going to ****** you!"

her voice was calm
her crimson pout
barely holding back the bitterness

"Jail was no laugh!"
she laughed
her voice like broken glass

"So, you thought you'd leave
the little lady in the lurch
...did you!"

consciousness kept
dipping in and out of my reality
she dipped her lights

the car sped on
throwing the road
over its shoulder

a cop car
approached us
disappeared into the night

somewhere her voice
was talking
her words were like ghosts

"Oh I want you babeeee
to die nice and slow
. . .& know!"

"I call it due process
I want you to see your life
slipping slowly away from you!"

trees lurched after the car
trying to grasp...gasp
I was going to die

the car screeched
to a halt
she looks in mirror...applies makeup

somehow she managed
to get me into the driver's seat
"Boy..." she laughed ". . .your a dead weight!"

"Here babeee...have a last drink!"
she poured the whole bottle
all over me

"Hey...hey..."
I stupidly thought
"That's my favourite ***!"

she let off the handbrake
the car almost tip toed
to the edge of the precipice

the car tottered a bit
unsure of whether
it should take the plunge

finally the car
made up its mind
went for it

"Enjoy your drive
...to hell!" she smirked
lighting another cigarette

"Bye bye bâtard!"
she smiled
using the French

the car tumbling like a toy
then the explosion
lightning up the horizon

she redid her lipstick
"*******!" she cursed
"I got a ladder in my new tights!"