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I crawled into a bottle once,
never found the way out.

It's cold and dark here,
lonely and with an echo...

...a hint and inkling of,
something else I cannot see.

How to crawl back out,
of something that holds you;


I crawled into a bottle once...

It's cold and dark in here.
"God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn't rule the earth" -Jim Bishop
Grey May 2016
You look me in the eyes and spit,
          And I kick dust on the wet spot on the ground.
This is how we are, a conversation; you never cared to call me something like my name.
           I never cared to see you in any way but under my boot with blood on your teeth.
               There is no moon above us, even when the sun’s gone to hide at the nearest bar.
This is not a war that can be won with pickets and strikes.
The only way to end the battle
                                                Is that someone has to die.
        A standoff only ends when one is left standing, it’s the rules,
but you never did care for rules, and breaking is easier than bending.
               You never apologize and I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth.
            The sun’s gone to hide at the local bar and it drinks whiskey shots like water.
It has seen us fight.
            The moon doesn’t want to come out, stays tucked safe in its bed.
It has heard stories.
                         Only the stars act as referee, calling out which one of us died better.
            It’s all an act, a ******* contest, and you sure are good at wetting the ground.
                 I’m better at covering up where the bloodstains were,
                         stain chicken feathers red as the sunset, Please, I ask you,
Let him win one last time.

                               The hourglass broke, the sand mixing with the red clay,
And you claim to know that his time is up.
                 I claim to know that you’re a lying ******* who takes what isn’t his.
                        And you claim that I’m just a child,
                                           but children don’t know why their knuckles are
                                           and children don’t get why their jaws hurt
                                           and children only bleed when summer is restless
                                           and children never pull real guns anyway.
          You brought a knife to a gunfight,
                 a gun to face the firing squad, a one child firing squad,
                    knees stuck together with blood and chicken feathers.

Please, you ask me,
Let me win one last time.

                     And I learn that breaking is easier than bending;
And I learn how my name sounds on your lips.
tanthanh Nov 2018
let’s drink soju
and I will tell you
everything inside my heart.
next morning
we will wake up
and never
look each other
in the eyes
shortly written in a dreamy night
Carter Ginter Jan 2018
I wanna see the blood
I wanna see the pain
I wanna prove that my body
Is nothing more than a frame
My mind is screaming
Parts of it beg me to bleed
The others demonize those pleas
I just don't want to feel this way anymore
And I suppose it's my own fault
I know how I get
When I start drinking then stop
Maybe that's why I always overdo it
Because then I can get sick and sleep
Before this depression takes its hold
And sets my demons free
Digging and clawing at my mind
Until I do the same to my own skin
Carter Ginter Aug 2017
I can't give you what you need
When I'm 40 miles away
But I can give you my love
If you're willing to wait

One day, some day
We can lie stress-free together
Without worrying about departure
And we can stay that way forever

I'm scared of all these feelings
Overwhelming and without control
I absolutely adore you
And I know it may be more

You're so perfect to me
From your smile to your laugh
The way your brain drives you insane
Still makes my heart lose its grasp

You're so hard to read
And that makes my heart freeze
But I guess I have to trust you
And that's just fine by me
Carter Ginter Sep 2017
Drinking all night,
Sleeping my days away
My demons don't drown
They swim on the surface
You want to get out?
I whisper Show Me
The key to escape is not running
Carter Ginter Aug 2017
The cavity in my chest
Feels less empty when you're around
And maybe I utilize that fact
To heal parts of my broken soul
Without the mind-numbing effects
Of my antidepressants
I feel unnerving panic and
If I tell you then you'll leave
I wish we could skip ahead
Beyond all this confusion and heartache
To a time where we can settle down
And breathe again, together
But I know that if I skip this moment
I would lose my time with you
And even on my worst day
You make me feel whole
So even if this ends
In a way that neither of us desire
At least I had the experience of you
That'll always make my heart smile
Carter Ginter Jan 2018
Sitting in this dark room
Running from my own darkness
Drowning out this fear and pain
With cold liquor and burning nicotine

Anxiety is spiraling through my veins
And the alcohol tames it for a minute
But then again I'm drinking alone
And that itself is dangerous

My clean arms are taunting me
Begging me to stain them red
With my own hands
To coat them with my own demons

I've been clean awhile now
And I've been doing well
But some days I'm not so sure
Because the knife is always a few feet away

How do you **** something inside yourself?
How do you escape your own feelings?
I know it's unhealthy
But these substances make it easier to deal
Just Maria Dec 2018
A beer drinker I am not
I prefer tea nice and hot
I'll drink a soda once in a while
Cherry pepsi that's my style

As far as coffee I will pass
Don't like the bitter taste it has
But apple juice is quite alright
Or a hot chocolate for a cold night

I think that water is the very best
For quenching a thirst it beats the rest
I could choose cold or I could choose hot
But a beer drinker I am not
Amanda Noel Jul 11
From Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde,
With liquid courage inside.
No longer recognizable,
The difference is sizable.

Can you not see the travesty
that's become of the vice
you choose for stress relief?

Not a high priority
when young and dumb,
But the point has come,

The need to acknowledge
the worm in the room,
work towards knowledge,
Instead of suffocating the wound.
Like anything, in small doses it's not bad I guess, but when visited everyday it could alter the thought process.
Arden Dec 2018
People who self harm
Aren't always teenagers
Who listen to heavy rock
And dress in black
And wear dark eyeliner with smudgy lines
They're not always people who drink beer
And smoke ***
And make mistakes

People who self harm
Are always smiling
Always happy
They are on the honor roll
And they place sports
And date cute boys
And wear lots of thick bracelets
And long sleeves
Because inside, they feel just as empty
As the kids with smudgy eyeliner
Ineffable Feb 2
open up
first sip
its relaxing
i look out into
the dark night, it's cold
how did I get to this point again?
no, I don't care, i just take a loooong
sip, sip, sip, i like getting warmer it's
not as lonely. i recently read that drink
ing tea is a cure for loneliness because it
imitates human warmth, even though just
sip, siiip, for temporary time is'nt that just
pathetic? swallow, burn, warmth, rinse
siipp and repeat. cold air freezes, freesses
frees me! the bottle is my best friend and
sihps, now even my best friend is hollow
wat a shaym, sh amme, shame
H E L E N A Dec 2018
Drinking through night and day
Will never be a good play,
But it kept all thoughts of you at bay;
Your flippant, finicky, frivolous ways.

How else could I mask my dismay?
The B-side of 'Relapse'.

You told me it's over so now I'm sad when I'm sober.
ManoelO Mar 30
Savour the taste
Restore a
That has
Been lost

Abandon your
Inner inhibitions
Gracefully float
In the
Swimming pool
Of liquor.
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