The forest of legs swayed in the moving shadows beneath the chatter over head, each threatening to block our path and crush our attempt to get to the first fallen crisps of the party season, which as yet laid undisturbed.

We weaved and advanced as fast as their legs allowed, eager to scavenge the waiting bounty before they were trampled underfoot by the oblivious adults who were intent on a seasonal ritual of their own that went on high over our heads.

We emerged unscathed at the edge of the forest and raced across the open parquet to the cover of the drapped, white topped trestle tables catching our breaths and crunching our snatched crisps planning our next move toward the plateau above.

Our scout had reported rich pickings, but when we looked around, seeking signs of our brave advance party, we could find no trace beyond a half eaten volovant and what might have been regurgitated mushroom. We shook our heads in despair at their folly. Every kid knows to stick to crisps and to processed meats, avoiding anything that might contain vegetables. We saw an open French window just beyond the trestles and heard plaintive heaves that had a distinct 6 year old strain.

We checked each other's resolve and saw on each other's faces that we believed our mission was more important than any one stomach. With a maturity that would have surprised our parents, we pushed the plight of our friend to the back of our minds and focused on the task at hand.

We each reached up with practiced stealth, taking only a second to check the food on offer and with a speed bred into us by the curse of older siblings, we each grabbed our prize.

Acknowledging the hazards of the return journey we devoured the meat at hand and with hyena grins savoured our just rewards. While our fallen friend heaved once more, we saluted one another: the season had started better than any of us could have hoped.

There once was a man who said you could beat the world with your words. That you could conquer an army with the knowledge of a greater narrative and move the legions of many with the action of one verb. I want to believe who ever can recreate the frameworks our race. The foundational narrative of our moral ethic, the guidelines mankind has been leaning on for millenniums. I want to know a alternative story, with made up words and no respect for a-priori intuition or tradition but a legend of unabiding experience that is unlike any tangent or discourse known. I want to reinvent another codex.  

I saw god as the architect I consoled in the grand tree house, with the grand green house sitting in a curious English archway. The telescope room was laid with bricks and from it I could see all that made me content. I felt the time changing before my eyes. Whether I was in compromise or not was entirely up to the seasons of Zeus.

I am now never afraid of myself, I almost died and I remember it all. I have known fear and still revere the quenching of it's animosity. I am only a swerving flake of inner rind. I am all that is exhausted of my honest dive for humanity. I am me finally, a shell no more! Man is the helplessness of lost spatiality in his own timid surrealism. I have never been satisfied with the explanations no matter how exhaustive! Revisited by the techni-color outlook of the turning millennium craze. The alleviation of all hopes when they turned out a dead end inthemselves, a lost avenue of my childhood.

I guess we all wanted that age-old rampant abuse of youth in ways that were neither aesthetically pleasing or unifying towards our own, best. I was tired of the beautiful sprites I grew up with. I was tired of locking myself in closets at nights and rubbing my face into the it's knotted carpet floor. I'm tired of the songs that advocated joyful frolicking into the drapped daylight. The oddities grow old and the used up phrase are clique now. I lost my mind seeing the years of my language frightened by the sound of my own breath. Grow into yourself. I am done with you anyways. I am done seeing them engulf a titanic drift of colorful intentions; flirting around the grand bonfire of the uncreated experience. I am lost with them. I question more than just our own value and I resign my thoughts on themselves for their own wealth and safety. When you want it said so bad but the forces of those unforeseen, creative hives oscillate and never stop it's steps into the night-legend. Then the world ends and was never in out of tension. I electrify my time and run into the a.m. frantic like a monkey, waving around and jesting my arms. I'm tired of the old music, in with the artifacts who architect the reverberation of my heart.

Your myth has lived into the century and I can see your ideas into the lives of all maniacs and the honest young, the deranged youth. We are amidst a heavy tension, i cry again. I want my mother's words three times a day and more on my weak hours. I am content in the alien maze of my music and want only the childhood campers to love me like a king. They gathered around at night, around the campfire. They initiated the song and dance with gaiety rhythm; that was the nights stars collided into bedtime. The same night I was torn by the dreams of an old horrid man who gave me no name and no rest from tear and horror. What evil is an anonymous the Will that censors awareness and knowledge. If it kills

So what then of the tribal pack psyche we all inherit. In days where beauty was up to chance. Our proximity to a woman was determined by breeding patterns and the realm of funds available for travel and food. What now in these days of the internet? When the whole world is at the tops of our finger tips and even more far away is the understanding we gain of our inability to have the cream of the world. We are in a great exaggeration of ourselves, of our will, and of our determined out-come. We have little but the pessimisme of our predecessors to guide our philosophies application. The translation of dream-world is perfectly out of reach for us and always for our posterity. From here on out we are a new age. A new age whose gates are christened by the ungenuine thugs and malevolent brand names of our civilization. We are faking it till the end. I am scared and drilled by horror and filled more with black premonitions. I wish I had eyes to see myself with a more generous charity but I don't and neither do you. What you see is an age of outward anticipation for the soring ribbons of undone realities.

The artist is the one who has seen the broad fleeting wisp of an out-of-world innuendo. It is the ethereal encounter with a cognitive defect that mimic as a supernatural sensation, this is seen by the artist as true humanity and rightfully so as it brings him to tears.

I always forget that we are always on the cusp. That we are simply a few bruised years away from reveling in the stained, sealed golden sunlight of the age that has came. What we do now is entirely crucial to our ability to be in unending sorrow and remorse. We see our people in a clearer way, for what they where struggling with, for what their reverie finally came to look like, ugly or gleefully self created, their vision of the world will always be our continual source of inspiration.

This is what I gotta say
Song about this rose
Thought it was dream
Dope in brain
Medicate the soul
I'm not wiz Khalifa
I have to say
i like like to get medicated
Somewhere in my soul
Let  me paint a picture
She was that girl
You seen from far away
Gone at the frat castle
A diamond you could say
All blue drapped all over her
All over her
All over her
Picture perfect body
Reminds me,the work of
Michelangelo
I'm finna take a look
Take a look real quick
Sky blue eyes
Takes me to the sea
Don't hide a disguise
everything you want to be
Just Everything you see
Blue over the shoulder
Down to her waist
Wrap it up a lil bit
It's in the eye of the beholder

She was that girl
You seen from far away
Gone at imaginary palace
A diamond you could say
All blue drapped all over her
All over her
All over her
Picture perfect body
Reminds me,the work of
Lets go with monet
She know I ain't got no money
Treats me like gold
Met her with my buddy
Sailing uncontrolled
Lost in my way
You could say I was hungry

For the thought of your dreams my mind races
Mad dashs ,shocked faces
But to stare that glint by starlight drapped the caresses of your hair
I trip to find me on your line
Oh right beautiful fields ,waisted time
Your waist on mine
Just a taste , said at nine
we set pace after that line
..

Picture frames on baby's painted nails
Paint me in fame, she replied your insane
Washed face paint dowm drain ,she never kisses again
Her company other then other men is my brother then i move this pen
Words are zen , cherry flavored summer flows
Grass blues and sky growth
Twisted pages on saturn sing burns and we take turns on the wave frank ocean plays

He'd always leave at 2:53 P.M.
Swoosh fwoump.

It was only a matter of time,
Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-ti

I wanted to be free.

He'd strap me to a chair and whisper,
sweet stories that you'd coo to *a child,
with sour breath running down my neck,
his greasy forehead pressed against my tear-stricken cheeks;
it'd deteriorate and culture in my ears.

His scent engulfed my mind,
my body, my soul...

He made a grave mistake,
dressing me in grimy socks,
making me dance skin-to-skin,
forcing me to kiss him, call him.

Oh no, you see,
he should have known.

I betrayed his trust, I'd pay the price,
"Isn't that right, Leila?"
That's not my name.

"Now Leila, darling, you're going to be a good girl,
for Daddy, aren't you?"
That's not my name.

"Leila, sweetheart, I can trust you, can't I?
Hmm? This will be our little secret,"
That's not my name.

"Aw, don't tell me, dear, beautiful Leila,
you aren't scared, are you?"
That's not my name.

I knew him well,
after a few months,
and his smell was musty,
only when I let it be.

He always liked sweets,
like me.

He was disgusting,
and my wrists ran red with incisions;
he'd lick them clean.

He'd always leave at 2:53.

"Oh Leila, sweetheart, I expect dinner when I get back,
won't you be a good girl,
and do as Daddy taught you?"
That's not my name.

So I did.

This kitchen was charming,
as much as his worn dining ware,
lined with cracked roses painted by Chinese overseas,
wondering when they would be used.

This was the first time I'd seen him genuinely smile,
"You look especially beautiful, tonight, Leila,
perhaps it's the sparkle in your eye,"
That's not my name.

He took a sip.

His glossy eyes hovered above his glass,
and his gaze drifted over to me,
in my grimy socks and brown-stained apron,
my long, dark hair drapped over my shoulders.

Another glass,
another glass,
another glass,
glass,
sugary sweet,
sweet,
down his lips,
lips,
lips,
teeth,
throat,
liver.

He liked sweets,
sweets,
sweets,
dripping, sipping,
sweet,
sugary sweet, nectar,
cool, smooth,
antifreeze.

He'd always leave at 2:53.

Silence.
Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-ti-

2:53 P.M.

Silence at 2:00-
2:00
2:00

I'd heard him cry,
"Leila, Leila, Leila,"
That's not my name.

He'd always leave at 2:53,
2:00,
silence.
He would never leave at 2:53,
2:53 P.M.

*I left at 2:53. Silence.

yo the homie Juan C
pass the mic to me
so i wreck this beat
like SPC protege of k rino
hos call me mandingo poppin' ***** tapes demo
never rode a limo
only smokes primo n got pitches in otcos
8 bars make ya see the star im far from soft
f them boys in the nawf
woth south side ****** til we die
we ride with the hardest regardless
if they try to break our clique
we still gone spit ****
like a cobra ya know its over
once the venom in em then couple.of minutes later
finish em
mortal combat **** all the rats
despise chit chat call my youngest ** ***** cat
pack a black gat
we push loot in the golden regal
every thang we do is illegal
lethal
as gibson they don't want none
boys crackin' rhymes til the crack of dawn
then wake up next day just
to bust another one
my OGs rollin' with Don Key n Pokey
hardest in the pit
and if you disagree we make haters **** our ****
sloppy **** no ****
them ******* can lick the pigment off a ***** stick
but i play it safe n cool
cuz hos try to burn you
got it played smooth groove
to the sound bound to get down
if ya down bow down listen to the gun shots sounds
now ya leakin' where ya be speakin'
now ya body tweekin' n geekin'
soon to crossover
like epmd mic check ya know me my crew be
fascinating minds with our hocus pocus never lose focus
my raw raps got them nervous
got Juan C next to me
and got the tech services
and no playin now from the htown
still holding top with no crown
dont need a status we the baddest
turn the lane three wheel leanin' with bird chirpin'
still smokin' up the scene
with clip fully loaded magazine
glock cocked we aint gone stop
sip the prometh to the day i drop
dont stop
the music cadillac funky so ya know im gonna abuse it
drip up drapped out know what im talking bout
deep in the south we put guns in ya mouth
no flappin' we stay strappin'
like willis ya know whats happenin'
and we aint gone stop the rappin'
mad at us cuz we bring the real
o so real make every nation feel
what them southern slangers do
dangerous as the Bronx Zoo
what ya wanna do
with stay with more than sun tzu when death comes to you
them boys n blue
cant save u
on the mic i gets wicked after a meal ticket sadistic
as charlie manson
got a twenty two mansion
followed a long benz with the big blue lens
zero percent window
so i can smoke my indow
what they dont know wont show
follow the peckin' order my game smarter
jaun n yosef isthe real hip hop martyrs
and we ready to battle
sogo ahead and shake ya rattle
cuz we'll be quick to slaughter


yea man let me come through
versace with the blue
jeans coming clean sip lean
with an ounze of promethazine fiends
be on the look out
cuz ya know im about
to clown harder than Corey Holcomb
boys gettin' dumb dumb
got hos thats chewin bubble gum
shakim' *** too fast
make a ***** urge for a ***** lick
yea im rollin' with the *******
up clique we sick
as a muthafucka
enticin' all types of diseases
cuz the lyrical content pleases
many foes and hoes
i wear baggy clothes with jabos
dont ya know
im rap don vito stack chips like frito
lay i parlay
on sittin on the dock of the bay
jammin k
or that *****
htown is how we do?
ride ***** with the bulls
euro grills caprice with pipes made of steel
o so real still
got every nation on they feet
they cant feel
this uh coming down on ya blvd
ya can see me on tv or 60 inch screens dvd
**** blue rays i rock ray ban shays
like Mj ya can catch me on a fade
doing what i do in the paint
with a Styrofoam cup full of drank
grams of dank
smoke so much we cant think
eyes cant blink im on the brink
of an overdose
ya suppose to rock the flows like me
im like biggie
spittin the classic mr magic
girls call my **** game fantastic
stretch ***** holes like elastic
leave her visions plastered
like she drunk as ****
im pushin luck six flat riding a black truck
40 oz in the gut gangsta strut
im the best ***** whatttt?
im ina rage one luv to homies
in the cage
when i hit the stage
ya know the crowds gone get wild
im flagrant like a fouls problem child
use my cash bills to fans thrills
no spills on *******
ya know the deal
hos be reachin' still teachin'
n im all about mass appeal

The wakened sleeper clothed in gold,
Warmed with Spring and rising sun,
Drapped in green and newborn leaf,
Who once had died but rose again.

Golden scales and raven hair,
Skin of blue and feathers fair,
Who began a journey by candler's flame,
And rose in glory in first leaf's show.

In comes his Bride the fair Corn Maid,
Whose blackened veil now glowing white,
Grass stains on her small bare feet,
And bloodied sword upon her back.

The dancers dance and singers sing,
Risen lord and laughing queen,
The snow has melted and green grows strong,
Winter then Spring give way to sun.

Veil of white over golden hair,
A cotton dress with playful tears,
Small feet dance as if on air,
She laughs in joy at his peacock flair.

Round they spin just like the year,
Celebrating life and new found love,
Love reborn from past the grave,
Youth and Maiden, lust and joy.

The time has come to start again,
A marriage feast and strong bond hands,
New life, new love, all is born,
Eternal love, past Death's cold hand.

Around the pole the ribbons fly,
Dancing round in lustful fun,
In honor to the fair Corn Maid,
And Peacock Lord reborn again.

I had another nightmare
About my life and you
I know your ok
But this one its hard to forget

I make my way down a dark hall
My hands brush the sides so I dont fall
The walls feel wet
Is it paint or is it blood
Im afraid to find out

I make my way to a room
Lit by only candle glow
They lead me to the center
Where I see a young girl
Dressed in white

She is crying because boys hurt her
She screamed for help but noone came
I look around and see a coffin
Flag drapped over it
My heart races
Thinking it is you
Laying there.

With shakey hands I open the lid
I fall backwards and scoot back across the floor
It is my body....
But how....
Why...
Who did this...

Three hooded figures step
From deep inside the darkness
Each having a word across the chest
Past...
Present...
Future...

I pull the little girl close to me
Shielding her if they tried
The figures smile and raise a hand
Something happens
As if I was hit several times
But I didnt fall
I didnt move

As suddenly as they appeared
They disappeared
The little girl
Lay in my arms
Her blood
Bright crimson
Flowing upon the cold stone floor

She looks up and touches my face
I mentally break
I kept saying
Im sorry....
Im sorry...
She looks away from me as a white golden glow encases her
Small figure

She is taken from my arms by
A guardian angel
As he stands to leave
I simply ask
Who is she...
He stops
Turning to me
He speaks
"You know who she is...
She is you... At age 10...
The age you lost part of her...
Your innocence..."

I stare at the angel
"Then where were you...
Who are you..."

He smiled
"I was protecting you....
Though you did not see me...
You sensed me....
And you fought back...
You know who I am...
I will be watching and waiting...
And when your time is up...
I will come for you..."

I woke up in a cold sweat.
But the angels words echo
In my heart
"You know who I am...
When your time is up...
I will come for you...."

Drapped in her glitter
Covered in shimmer
What matters most of all?
Mind on empty
What sets me free?
Waiting, wanting the fall

Cradle silhouettes choking
Memories' fire smoking
How do you escape hell?
"Do as you're told
Do nothing bold"
Damnation preaching they sell

Fragile disposable teen
To the world, lost and unseen
Throwing her life away
Dreams, parasite infected
Her wings, her voice dissected
Escape? "Not today"

I am everlasting nothingness
My soul emptied of all purpose
A life without meaning
Heart beating faster hoping to overheat and finally find peace
Hopelessness that begs to be broken
Icy pain pleading to be melted away
Banished by my bitter flame
Raging viciously through my blood
Crashing into everything around me
Lighting my little world aflame
All I cherish scorched beyond recognition
Broken insides as tears crash down like ocean waves
The waters of my soul washing over all inside and out
The sea's raging storm tearing away any layers protecting me
Rain and wind piercing through resolve I never did affirm
Being cleansed of more than just darkness and pain
My humanity threatens to be shaved away
As I roll upon the shore
An island and I am the new budding tree
Reaching hopefully and eagerly for the light of the sky
While anchored to ground that keeps me alive
I must continue to grow, to survive
I wake from this lost lands cursed slumber
A transition within my mind
And as my eyes are once more cast toward this ocean inside my soul
I drive into inner depth a heart crafted by willful waters
My purity is locked further within
Plummeting so far down into ever expanding darkness
Only to discover the most powerful wonders of myself
Forgotten just past the beginning of my time
Treasures of origin now reclaimed
And this is where I find my wings
Sculpted golden, sleek and shining
Formed by the softest flowing but most pressured liquid courage
I won't wait to ascend upon the clouds
Drapped in captivating colors
For my greatest day now closes its eyes
Though it no longer holds domain over who I am
The man who cannot be stopped
As I always have been
Only before I looked through mirrors
Who I was based off of reflections others bounced back
Opinions from minds that could never decipher the cryptic code that formed meNow I reflect the light of the stars I have absorbed
Mixed with a blue flame of determination and desire
A cooled focused new drive
Along with the glisten within my twilight eyes
I am a divine being composed of these new colors
And I will never again be confined
I am the understanding brought through pain
I am new life found by dying
I am peace sought from chaos
I am the God of Hope
The greatest beacon of light
The epitome of beauty
Born and breed from this uniquely never ending nothingness

C.N. / Words written in the sky that is my mind

I think I may love you
but not in the wedding
fashion but in the sheep drapped
On my neck sort of way, or
maybe how clown fish feel
for the barrier reef. You made
me promise I wouldn't be your Judas,
I agreed as long as you weren't my
Jesus. We never realized Pontious Pilot
and his means when he washed his hands
of us and gave us some wood and six nails to
go around while asking everyone what they thought.
They said our love would be
hammered together while we hang here for awhile.

.Your eyes perceived me so,
Indefinite caress of sight.
Beyond all pronunciation,
you have been created for us.

We sit.
We tossed words too and fro,
Much more welcoming to speak once underneath a liquid spell.
Hands soft as an autumn breeze,
that I wish to have my eternity drapped within.
You stare at me gently,
Pupils dilated and doe eyed.
the movements of your body cut through the surrounding air, as does the scent which adorns you.
Sweet bitters shiver through every sense.
Conjure in me so the long lasting text of everlasting, of wanting, of dreams.
Scarce passion flutters behind your smile,
Tiger eyes smile.
You feel like sunshine.
Dazed images sweep across your lips to mine,
Your hands grazing the forefront of my neck.
Like sugar plums beneath the crimson soil of your heart,
I have unearthed the solitude.
I paired glances as we passed through hours of farewells.
I would join you upon this day,
Within this painted breeze.
I would hold this..I will hold this.
Sanctuary in your dreams,
you are the light in the darkness.

It was in the magic of the forest, the colours of the deserted road
That I tasted the warmth of the Sun, and learnt to drink the bitter ocean whole

It was in the stirring of sugar and milk in aromatic tea
It was when each of my bones ached and desired, and I was brought down to my knees

It was when something like the river current blew a hurricane inside of me
That I hungered and lusted and craved to know what it was like being free

I felt the wind gently caress my face, it fondly teased and played with my hair
I felt the water enfold me, tenderly its bubbles and droplets delved into my skin, raw and bare

The earth cradled me like a child, the soft milky moonlight touched my skin, and feasted it's eyes upon me, not naked but exposed
They say the mountain is naked, how odd. They simply can't see her drapped under silken white snows

We watched in horror
As planes crashed
Into the World Trade Center
And eventually collapse

We watched with eyes dripping tears
As the TV screen
Flashes faces of innocent children
Gunned down at an Elementary school

What has this world come to be
Lives taken for no apparent reason
Lives taken of the most pure
And all we can do is grieve

We wage wars
We seek justice
But in the end we grieve
As we lose more lives either way

We watch from afar
As our troops
Come home on their shields
Drapped in our colors

Another day of grief
Another day of tears and mourns
Haven't enough lives been stripped?
Hasn't enough blood been shed?

I heard a girl
With her leg drapped
Over her boyfriend
On the train

"And like
I don't know why
I'm responsible for
The rent, chase
He should pay
All my rent and---"

Her boyfriend nodded
His head like an
Obedient boyfriend should
Many
"Yes babe"
"Chase should pay"
"You're the best"

I looked out the window
We had been stalled in
The sanguine of the
Penn station tunnel for
Fifteen minutes

Lots of trash
On those tracks
The smashed husks of
Super sized sodas
And the yellowed
Flayed remains of
Plastic bags

The materialization of
An entire species
Concentrated apathy
Decorating the lowest
Circle of its
Most desirable city

We pass an empty
Adjacent train
My eyes dart from
Window to window
The vacant seats
Face their respective
Directions and
The windows
Are still stained with
The fog of human heat

I think about
Islands made of plastic
In the middle of the
Ocean
And
How chase should
Pay the rent

Systems mix awake
like pills awaiting a passenger
searching for dogma
like a marching drill in the dessert
disturbing dunes
like a bullet distracting the crowd
shattering the skull behind you
muttering
and chattering again
in the world below its knees
where it connects again
sewn and hammered
accept oil
this time
golden
drapped in molasses
tuned at the heart
and joint
to continue
to have spirit and commune
with its line
and nothing

but its line.

There are days I find myself riding on comets
I climb ladders higher than your god
I don't need a stack of bibles to understand who you are
I want to peel back your bones,
find comfort in the marrow and see what’s within.
there are tears that run down hollow cheekbones
and you asked me one day,
if we could get drunk and let our stories be told
but I want o re-write the life i'm living and find happiness
in leaves because no matter what,
great mother nature lets them fall in all the colours of secrets
she holds them close.
We sit.
banging on imaginary drums
it is not  a rule of thumb,
but a heartache.
A whisper.
A home.
a place that was destroyed in the years of your own heart being broken
like bombs drapped over the sky I see you crying behind sheltered eyes
but when your bones break you give them soil, and pray for a miracle.
the seeds of enlightenment
the sounds of sorrow.
I'll play it like an instrument,
drunken on the piano.
each key with leave track marks down my spine,
and there are brothers and sisters waiting until they can let of go of time
but the man in the sky never intended for them to be late.
To laugh at the expense of obtuse angles and
the irony of golden hair left in tangles
For the day I discovered I could break my skin with ice
I found myself bathing in memories
and my legs sliced into a sketchbook.
But in those scars I planted tulips and prayed for the rain
so they would grow and kiss my chapped brain with indigo
I want to write of love like I invented it,
I want to sing like I can claim it
and it takes time
but sometimes I forget that the atoms vibrating within me were once in the galaxy.
I am made up of the earth that I find so **** beautiful.
I am the vibrations that harmonicas send
I am the sweat on bare skin after a night you never wished would end
I am the wooden planks that many have walked with their hands
tied behind their back so they won't remember.
My hands tell a story no one else could see whenever I type on my keys
I listen for a pattern that reminds me of sea shells and water skis because
with only the chorus of a mundane song on my breath
ill stand on a mountain top,
and finally remember how to breathe

As I stood upon the hill
Mist grew over the rocks

Jagged they stretched
Out of the ground

And sitting upon one of them
I noticed a peculiar figure

Drapped in a tattered cloak
It sat solemnly in the fog

I drew closer and introduced myself
But I recieved no reply

Then after a time the being moved
Bringing it's legs to the ground

As it did I jumped back
For it stood several heads above me

Though its presence encompassed me
It so moved forward to where I stood

As the figure stood before
I noticed time begin to slow

The being's cloak shifted in the wind
Revealed strange bones underneath

Time drew still and as it did
The cloaked figure spoke

"Raalm Nerakka Sitar.
What stands before you
Is insurmountable, and what lies behind You is unattainable. Yet as with your fathers before you, and those who would seek the gates, I will see you to the end."

With these words, the strange being
Bent down to my level

Staring into me
With his hollow eyes

And then he vanished
Along with the fog

And evening came,
Wrapped in your warm coat,
I drapped in my fluffy scarf,
With our usual chitchats
Bits and pieces of jokes...
Towards the sunset we set off.

Across the table we sat,
At the corner of our favorite coffee house,
Staring at the menus,
Making fun of those in offer
Those which we understood not
But still...
Ordering what we usually had...
Our usual.

There we sat...
Synced physicality
Shared laughs
Stolen gazes
Passing time...
And in it all
We still were one...
United in what we knew not.

Two coffee pots later,
Euphoric state shared,
Emotions laid out bare,
Words left unspoken
And with one final peck,
The evening came an end,
With a promise of another date...
Our coffee date.

©JoyRedd

Heat so hot moisture drops evaporate
into moss on my carpeted skin
Grass is growing upon my kin
Renovating the concrete sins
Of earth, of mind, of within

Philosohpy written
Experiences amalgated within
Brassy copper and metalish tin
Held inside organic fins and phalanges
Am i robot with my logical mind or am i freelancing rational thought
Am i in time or racing a clock?
Arrange me again
into Grass growing and trees budding
in unison

Resonate with these concrete sins of my mind, of earth.. of within

Let this heat so hot and cold so cold
melt the water in my soul
and rebuild it again in crystalline snowflakes drapped around my fragile skin.

Am i mossy snow? A sanguine man hinged upon the earth and humanities heavenly birth.
I hurt when I see hurt so
Try to exert a positive worth to all that is seen, felt and heard.

Listen like how the Earth permeates past its concrete sins
Im going to to try to levatate past whats holding minds within.

I did the unspeakable
I rushed to the lavatory
In desperate need to clean the sin off
Wash my filth over and over
"Come clean" I shrieked
Panicked, holding my head in my hands
Kneeling on the marbled floor
Only A towel drapped over me
Shivering not cold but frantic
I breath in. Stand up. Exhale.
I wipe the fogged mirror
Look into it with mournful eyes
I watch the figure stand before me
Not my reflection I see
Startled as it took shape
Regret formed into goose bumps.
Down my body as it traveled, multiplying.
I break as I see the picture in the mirror
I look up one last time
I marvel in disbelief...

Night
Drapped
In
The
Cape of darkness
Shall
Bow
To
The
Starlight

Hugo you are an enigma
I see photos of you and your sister
On my iPad as I rest,
Pictures in my head.
Life seems to be fun
With your siblings
And your mum
Going out to the beach
Into the waves
Darting, leaps,
Another day it's climbing trees
With your Ruby at your heels.
In the woods where it is dark
You imagine many parts,
Costumes drapped across your chest
Delphi in a bright blue dress
Piggy - backs are all the rage
Laughs and giggles all the day,
Holidays are your best
Time to play and time to rest.
Like your grandad you do look
Clever with your reading books.
I see your picture on my wall
A young boy unspoiled;
Wish you many happy hours
And adventures to inspire.

Love Grandma ***

This way following that
That happened again.
Folly, stitched neatly this
Predictable wavey pattern
Weaving in and through out
What was once was not
Again the words I try after
Not to hold not to lock away
But to borrow as they too do
Hate me as only you so deserving
So by I won't strung along
Loaned words that elude
To draw the inner rolling hurt
I've gone this time the last time
I won't write how badly I
Won't.  Write without broken
Intent, coiled up and strewn about
As I once relished bitterly engrossed
Forcing my selfish failings
Won't discribe or talk away guilt
Seeking praise or atonement
I am in this place where alone
Drapped upon shaking reluctance
Is the smothering blanket of my life
I won't write to run and hide
As I've done to you, time again
This time, again.  I won't