I feel the darkness grow and stalk
the halls of my mind,
whispering words of mockery,
words that I cannot help
but take to heart...
What if I am not good enough?
Am I a failure?
What if I can't do this?
Am I lying to myself?
What if I make a fool of myself?
Am I truly talentless?
All of this runs around my mind,
having me chase and bite and
pull my own tail as the darkness
laughs, loud, proud and cruel.
Am I just wasting my time?
Is the quill and ink meant for
someone like me?
Am I even good at what I do?
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to think
All I know is...is that
It all hurts too much...
Far too much...
How I want to hide...
I couldn't fully cage my anxiety and depression,
but it's leaking out of the cracks, making me
feel restless, tired, weak and making me question
everything I do.
...I guess It's fortunate that this is happening before
I start my course on the 17th of this month,
But it's so draining to deal with.
I feel so exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.
I feel like all my energy is being ****** out of me... I want to scream and cry...
I need a break and fresh air so I'm going for a walk.
I'll be back soon.