"dizziness" poems
You take my breath away
You sweep my feet out from under me
You catch me by surprise
When I look in your eyes
And I see
That you believe in me
Want me to succeed
You freeze all of the pain that is hibernating in my heart
You melt me down until you see nothing but emotion
Give me potion
That shows my weaknesses
Forcing me to turn them into strengths
And fate has brought you to me
Just keep smiling and I promise you'll never lose me
You know exactly what to say to bring me out of my dark place
And that's not easy
Ask anybody who knows me
You make my pain subside
And I realize
That I'm alive when you are near me
But you don't even see past the wall that's called friendship
You have all these dudes talking to you
But I'll treat you like a princess
I want to defend your honor
Harbor all the feelings I have
And write so they can make sense
Because honestly you've taken my sense of direction
My moral compass leads directly to you
Throw that thing in the garbage and I'll still go directly to you
You see you might not see that I believe in you and me
And if there is a you and me
I swear to love you unconditionally
You have my head spinning
And in my dizziness I only see you
You are the bright light that brings me out of the fog
You are my North Star
I look at you
And I'm home
Nov 16, 2013
Nov 16, 2013 at 10:02 AM UTC
You say, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”
but I say surely something
must taste nicer than the burning acid
being forced back up your throat.
Why not hug people instead of
toilet bowls? At least they’ll hug back.
Except Mia is your only friend now.
And her cousin, Ana, of course.
And I understand that you never
wanted to die, but this is a thousand ton truck
hurtling towards the edge of a cliff and
Ana took the wheel a long time ago.
There is no strength in this: in you, in a
fear of calories. Even your bones creak
as your muscles sigh with exhaustion -
for this, is not a war you're winning.
This is a battle with only one contender
and I will not be the one to disarm you.
That's your job and it always has been. I know
you only wanted to be beautiful
like all those stars in the magazines
you saved under a file titled ‘thinspo’
but the only stars you ever saw were in
your eyes from the dizziness
and to tell you the truth, you are not pretty.
For there is nothing “pretty”
about the layer of fuzz your body grew
to protect itself from the big bad wolf
when really, the only growl was coming
from inside your stomach.
Or how your little sister is afraid to touch,
let alone hug you, in fear of snapping you in two.
For there is no glamour in having to
remove clumps of hair out of the plughole
at least six times whilst having a shower,
just to let the water run down.
Or that one time you "accidentally”
took too many laxatives. Messy.
There is nothing admirable about the way
you sat shivering on your bed
at night instead of kissing boys,
or dancing, or eating ice cream.
There is nothing to be marvelled at
in dying.
This, is not a life to be lived.
God, this isn't even a life.
This is being a slave to your own body,
a walking zombie, a ghost stuck
between two sides.
You are not alive.
But it was all still worth it, right?
Slowly killing yourself from the inside out.
A small price to pay for perfection,
a bargain for a broken mirror;
for a half-written book
with 97 blank pages,
a camera
that only captures in black and white,
a clock
with frozen hands.
And most importantly, for a peace of mind
you never received.
No refunds.
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 11:59 AM UTC
Everyday you ask why I love you
You say
"Why do you you love me when I put you through Hell.
When I push you into your shell,
And I never give you a straight answer.
You say " Why do you love me when I can't love you back,
And when I have all these mood swings."
Well this is what I say.
I love you because you are like my Asthma.
I didn't chose to have you here with me all the time, but you are.
You are here to make my life harder,
But you also make me stronger.
When the voggy winds blow
And it gets hard to breathe
It is you falling.
Yet I pick that Inhaler of mine up
And I take two deep breaths,
and I lift you back up.
As my breaths become clearer.
I know that I will never be able to breathe as well as others.
Just as I know I will never fall out of love for you.
You are the chronic lung disease that forces me to try harder.
The person that makes me try my hardest when I'm singing up on that stage.
You motivate me.
It is you that is always on my mind
When I have to try hard to take breathes instead of just breathing.
When I am running and my lungs start to choke me, it is the pain I feel every time I see you with him instead of me.
Because Love
You are my lung disease.
You are the funny noise my breath makes when I dance,
Because the Oxygen doesn't want to go in.
And when you touch me I feel the buzzing sensation that I get when taking my albuterol.
The warmth of my Nebulizer as it vaporizes the medicine for me to breathe.
Every kiss you plant on my head, fills me with the dizziness that I get from my medication
When I try to stand up, I end up falling just as hard as I have for you.
You are the relief I feel when I take my
Meds on a bad day, you make me feel normal again.
That's why I love you.
That is why I don't care if you're with him instead of me.
Because you will always be with me.
Just like my lung disease.
May 24, 2014
May 24, 2014 at 9:02 PM UTC
Inertia the process of doing nothing
Contradiction the art of jumping intellectual rope
Intellectualism the active engagement in educated debate
Spinning the result of which is dizziness
Dizziness a state of uncertainty
Debating the conversational to and fro
Art is conversation nothing more
Conversation a non productive but necessary social engagement
Formal education
Relative information specificity
Consider the ****** lilies
Consideration Debate Intelligence Conversation Inertia
Mar 8, 2012
Mar 8, 2012 at 8:03 AM UTC
I find myself taking breaths but not breathing
Gasping even for the slightest chance of a comforting breathing pattern.
This anxiety has me on my knees. Like a thief it's stolen my breath and my strength
The dizziness sprinkles hovering over me slow and faint...
I'm lost, but not lost...
I'm here, but the room spins, and I fear I may faint
The more people I see and hear the more dizzy I get
Eyes find me...
They watch me pretend to be fine
I'm pale and clammy
I want to disappear
Tears want to fall but I'm able to keep them in for a while
When they finally fall I say that I'm fine
I only need to sit down and get home, I say I am tired
This will pass, it always does
Another day ruined, because I have to go home...
My families face blanketed with disappointment...
Another trip failed
I feel their eyes and thoughts of shame and frustration
In my mind I hear the wishes
This kills me more than the burden of anxiety alone
I feel as if I never should have left home
I want to be part of my family, but when I'm in my room...
I feel they are much more happy and things are as they should be
These thoughts bring me tears even now
I'm so **** tired of letting them down
I spiral into darkness and depression, with an anxieties jacket
And I feel them question me, as if I wasn't cursed and this was just me being mean
I sink down inside me and pretend I don't know what they think
Once in a while I'll hear I'm a control freak
Once in a while I hear I am ******
I get blamed out loud for all of my bull ****
Since I'm definitely flawed I know there's truth to it
This...
This, is what's heart breaking to me
And me, knowing I'm broken, it sends me deeper into my room...
I'll take my **** meds in an attempt to **** what feels like hate
But on this journey I'm still alone, even when they say they understand
I've seen way to many eyes rolls to think that they know my torture
And they will never understand my real guilt...
They will never believe that even with my emotions fighting inside my heart and soul, my real torment is that I ruin thier day
And I'm afraid that it makes me so much less...
To them.......
I feel some times I shouldn't even exist
My selfish heart won't let me leave...
I love them, so much I can't imagine giving in
I love them so much I feel shame and selfishness....
Oct 2, 2015
Oct 2, 2015 at 4:34 PM UTC
Monday 10:20 PM
I drank hot tea once you left and I guess I drank it too soon. I burned my ******* mouth. I think that has a correlation to you leaving me.
Monday 11:00 PM
Please come back. Please don't really leave. You promised to always stay.
Monday 11:11 PM
Please, I'm sorry. I'm begging for you.
Tuesday 12:04 AM
leaves voicemail sobbing
Tuesday 12:25 AM
We can work through this, please. You promised.
Tuesday 1:40 AM
Goodnight, my love. I'll love you forever.
Tuesday 6:00 AM
I hardly slept, I woke up clenching my pillow craving it to be you instead. It wasn't. Will it ever be you again?
Tuesday 7:17 AM
I'm not handling this too well. I really need you.
Tuesday 12:00 PM
I'm going to try and work... I love you.
Tuesday 12:05 PM
leaves voicemail sobbing uncontrollably Work called me off. I think that's a sign for me to cope at home. However, I was looking forward to staying busy.
Tuesday 2:37 PM
I love you with my entire being. Please think about this. You're ending 9 months in one day.
Tuesday 11:00 PM (INCOMING TEXT)
I hope you're doing okay.
Tuesday 11:01 PM
I've missed you so much. I'll be okay.
Tuesday 11:10 PM
Please tell me you love me.
Wednesday 1:30 AM
I love you, sweet dreams.
Wednesday 7:30 AM
Good morning, still little sleep. I can't stop thinking of you. I wish I could skip work today, I don't really know what's happening to my body right now.
Wednesday 2:00 PM
I'm trying to hide from everyone at work. This is really ******* hard. It's hard to try and act okay while providing good first impressions.
Wednesday 6:00 PM
Can I come over?
Wednesday 6:40 PM
Is it too soon to see you? Please say no. I need you.
Wednesday 7:00 PM (INCOMING)
Yes, it's too soon.
Thursday 6:02 AM
I haven't ******* slept at all. I need to hear your voice. I keep listening to your voicemail's, but I only get 5 seconds in without crying. I shouldn't have made you everything. Now, my everything is gone and not okay. I'm not okay. I should have made you at least a little less of everything, so maybe I would be a little OK. Maybe I would be able to recover that way.
Thursday 12:00 PM
I'm at work again. It's just as hard. You're not with me and I've hardly slept this week. If you were with me though, I'm sure I wouldn't sleep either. My heart has been pounding out of my chest this entire week. I can't eat either. These have been the only consistencies this week. That and my dizziness. I have been so ******* dizzy. Everything is always spinning.
May 18, 2016
May 18, 2016 at 1:47 AM UTC
The patient has had no nausea,
vomiting or back pain. No chills,
fatigue, fever, decreased vision
or double vision. No ear drainage
or hearing loss, epistaxis or
runny nose. No sore throat, calf
pain, chest pain, cough or difficulty
breathing. No pedal edema,
palpitations, black stools, ******
stools or constipation. No diarrhea,
urinary frequency, laceration, skin
rash or depression. No dizziness,
headache, head injury, weakness
or enlarged lymph nodes. All
systems negative
and yet
Mar 27, 2012
Mar 27, 2012 at 7:16 PM UTC
i climb the scaffolding
look down below
spirit faltering
will i die in the blow?
caffeine swirling,
dizziness whirling,
truth obscured
devil-lured
dry darkness,
unfeeling eyes,
dropping, heartless
out of the skies
failing, falling,
faster than water,
missed my calling,
embracing slaughter
but i'm still here,
didn't dare,
risk the fear
of devil's snare
May 11, 2021
May 11, 2021 at 7:29 AM UTC
The compass turns
spinning around to find its correct course
and where the arrow points
we follow
I close my eyes
stretch out my arm, finger pointing straight
I turn
Spin
Laugh
and eventually
fall from dizziness
Still my finger points
directly at the path I did not want to take
but even my silliness knew it was the correct course
Sometimes it pays to be childish
Jan 12, 2013
Jan 12, 2013 at 10:19 PM UTC
i have felt the dizziness
that three words bring
and each time, they steal
away at the small collection of
faith i hold that promises
everything will eventually
be okay
"i give up," you tell me
with circles beneath
your eyes
and a heart
with a beat
that is nearing
the end
of a song
those words
are the words
that break me
because everyday,
we're all trying our best
to keep it together
and when i see someone
pinned down to the ground
with the heaviness life brings,
i'm afraid i'll soon be
right there next to them
May 10, 2013
May 10, 2013 at 12:50 PM UTC
I'll fly out from this rollercoaster
Filled with disgust, with dizziness
The operator stands aghast
Amidst the turning machine
Above his heels,
Within his well-fed hands
It spins and turns
Like Big Brother's voice
On a broken loop
Creaking engine recalls
A sordid, mechanical taste
In the mouths of the trapped
They think it's so wondrous
To be on top of a flightless
Soar to the heavens
To see those ant-like buildings
Like a grain of dust in their hands
But they have paid the price
The people of the carnival only feeds them dreams
While they snicker inside the tents
Fairy godmothers on their breaks
Clouds darken beneath us
Rumbling, rumbling, roar the
Blue-violet crack in the sky goes
As we rode along to the earth's tremble
The view matches not what they promised
But everyone must go on till the ride stops
I sniffed the steps of rain in a small stairway to my senses
I knew right then that ride wasn't what we all thought
Jul 11, 2015
Jul 11, 2015 at 9:04 AM UTC
five o'clock on Sunday night
we down two bottles of pink ******* wine - classy
Jesus Christ applauds our dedication to his
"this do in remembrance of me" mentality
after four ******* hours of straight communion
we are one with the universe
praying only for security in something
“don't judge me,” she says “don't judge me,”
we've reached that point
we found ecstasy in dizziness - in daydreams
sure enough, we found there was
some kind of magic quality
inherent in these substances
that we were guaranteed to abuse
but it seems we must have been
the worst of marksmen
because I know we matched each other
shot for shot that night
and never once made contact
**** that
we went from being worshiped to ignored -
untouchable
like the ******* gimps of the Hindu caste system
**** Karma
what did we do to be so low?
it didn't make good sense
so we just kept drinking
because that's the only thing that did
Jul 31, 2021
Jul 31, 2021 at 1:40 AM UTC
We were drinking coffee when
depression showed up at the door of the home we built, pounding.
Eviction notice in hand,
your soul parceled out into donation bins.
Foreclosure sign,
caution tape around the chest that I slept on for a year.
I sit out in the sun
to bleach the tan line from my ring finger.
I hold cold cups and shake strangers’ hands
to erase the mould of your grasp from mine.
I want to sear off my palms.
I miss even those nights when you looked at my fire and laughed.
So I make you coffee (but I know I make it wrong);
your ghost in this house still criticizes.
I made you coffee every day because it was all I could do;
my only way of getting into you, a vector.
As the hot brew flowed past your heart, I watched,
like a child at Christmas, hoping you’d feel my love.
Hoping the glaze would clear up from your eyes.
I only wish this were a bond that stayed,
that stayed when your mind put plugs in your ears:
when I screamed and screamed that I loved you,
that I’d rock every little thing you regret to sleep.
I went to the doctor about this dizziness.
He checked my ears, he asked why my eyes were red.
This vertigo--a hurricane made by the page turning in my life.
I am a bag in your wind.
The day you left I wrote you a recipe for how you like your coffee,
because you don’t know, but I have it memorized.
My handwriting changes halfway down the page, as I change,
as you drive farther and farther away.
Our love is a child I’ve carried,
now I’m bent over, sick.
Loss took your place in our home,
but it’s unsteady on its feet;
I have to walk it from room to room.
My name has been yours, possessive.
And although these days I correct myself and say ‘I’ during speech,
My thoughts are still ‘we.’
I still think about your lungs when I cough.
So I still make us coffee every day (but I know I make it wrong).
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 16, 2017 at 7:26 AM UTC
I drank 4 shots yesterday
Every single one
"in the name of those we lost in love"
Feeling the burn
Down my throat
Tasting your last
Goodbye
And watching it infect
The blood in my veins
I felt the dizziness of
Being lost
The kind you feel when
You've just lost a friend
Or the one you'd fall asleep next to
Or both
I felt the nausea rise up
Like a roaring sea
With the memories we once had
As I stumbled down
To touch the ground
That for once felt like home
Trying to rid myself
Of the thoughts of you
Swimming in my mind
Sober or drunk
It's always you that
My heart remembers
Feb 21, 2015
Feb 21, 2015 at 7:56 PM UTC
Hand over hand,
You slowly ascend,
Afraid of the impact,
You would have in the end.
Many times had you dreamt,
Of this very day.
The day that your fears,
Would all go away.
You have summoned the courage,
To climb to the top.
But more courage is needed,
For the hundred foot drop.
You remember so clearly,
The snickers and sneers,
The way they would tease you,
For showing your fears.
But today will be different,
You will prove them all wrong,
And show them how truly,
You want to belong.
As you stand there triumphant,
Perched up on your ledge,
you make the mistake,
of looking down over the edge.
The people below,
Looked at you in awe.
They watched on in horror,
Couldn't believe what they saw.
From up on the scaffold,
Way up in the sky,
The dizziness got you,
You fell from ahigh.
At first, just a gasp,
But then to a scream,
Then suddenly you realized,
This isn't a dream.
You really had done it,
It wasn't that bad,
You thought to yourself,
Then suddenly...Splash!
Oct 24, 2010
Oct 24, 2010 at 5:03 PM UTC
Is like a carousel,
and there's a pleasant sensation,
and it makes your head spin.
So many gaudy animals to choose from.
You get used to the dizziness.
The music is loud,
and there's an onlooking crowd.
It's so much fun
to go round and round.
Stay on too long and you forget how it feels
to be on stable ground.
These zebras and giraffes.
These benches and poles.
They do nothing for me anymore.
They've turned into hurdles.
You can't get anywhere
when you're just going in circles.
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014 at 1:04 AM UTC
your words are like pills
i swallow them one by one
sometimes all at once
they scratch down my throat
settle in my body
and disappear
like magic
but it’s only science
i am left in a state of dizziness
they cloud my vision
and numb my pain
so will you please
please speak softly
let me swallow
one last dose
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 3:02 PM UTC
I Wanna Be A Poet
My writing is very strange,
no one has more range.
I've got my pen, in hand,
my poems are, in demand.
I use paper, it's my source,
I'm a pppppoet, of course.
I wanna be a poet,
and you can be my poetess,
I'm the best you all must confess.
Writing on the paper,
planning my next caper.
Follow me on Twitter,
on Facebook, I'm a heavy hitter.
Writing in my notebook,
figuring my newest hook.
I feel so **** *****
can't help but being flirty.
I wanna be a poet,
and you can be my poetess,
writing will always be my business.
Feeling like a here,
I used to be a zero.
Six pens on my side,
in case some get dried.
Smoking my favorite cigarette,
listening to music on cassette.
Blowing rings with the smoke,
how it ***** being so broke.
Somewhere over the rainbow,
is a *** filled with green dough.
Other poets on the warpath,
because they always feel my wrath.
I wanna be a poet,
and you can be my poetess,
my rhymes have been known to cause dizziness.
My name is Fred,
and one day, I'll be dead yo yo.
Boys Don't Cry, was a one hit wonder,
I just gave that song some poetic thunder.
I used to love that silly song,
Youtube the video, and tell me I'm wrong.
I wanna be a poet,
and you can be my poetess,
my only goal is to simply impress.
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013 at 11:21 AM UTC
If any of the following side effects occur while taking prednisone, check with your doctor immediately:
More common
Aggression
agitation
anxiety
blurred vision
decrease in the amount of *****
dizziness
fast, slow, pounding, or irregular heartbeat or pulse
headache
irritability
mental depression
mood changes
nervousness
noisy, rattling breathing
numbness or tingling in the arms or legs
pounding in the ears
shortness of breath
swelling of the fingers, hands, feet, or lower legs
trouble thinking, speaking, or walking
troubled breathing at rest
weight gain
Incidence not known
Abdominal or stomach cramping or burning (severe)
abdominal or stomach pain
backache
****** black, or tarry stools
cough or hoarseness
darkening of skin
decrease in height
decreased vision
diarrhea
dry mouth
eye pain
eye tearing
****** hair growth in females
fainting
fever or chills
flushed, dry skin
fractures
fruit-like breath odor
full or round face, neck, or trunk
heartburn or indigestion (severe and continuous)
increased hunger
increased thirst
increased urination
loss of appetite
loss of ****** desire or ability
lower back or side pain
menstrual irregularities
muscle pain or tenderness
muscle wasting or weakness
nausea
pain in back, ribs, arms, or legs
painful or difficult urination
skin rash
sleeplessness
sweating
trouble healing
trouble sleeping
unexplained weight loss
unusual tiredness or weakness
vision changes
vomiting
vomiting of material that looks like coffee grounds
Some prednisone side effects may not need any medical attention. As your body gets used to the medicine these side effects may disappear. Your health care professional may be able to help you prevent or reduce these side effects, but do check with them if any of the following side effects continue, or if you are concerned about them:
More common
Increased appetite
Incidence not known
Abnormal fat deposits on the face, neck, and trunk
acne
dry scalp
lightening of normal skin color
red face
reddish purple lines on the arms, face, legs, trunk, or groin
swelling of the stomach area
thinning of the scalp hair
Dec 18, 2015
Dec 18, 2015 at 11:24 PM UTC
I favour the deep, impenetrable truth of the jungle
Over the smooth ride over sleek black rubber;
The ***** disturbing, demented disorder;
The distortions of the lights we bathe on,
Over outward alignments and the staleness of systems.
I favour the cheap, rugged, bittersweet taste
Of a late night's substandard drink,
In the midst of true lights and shadows
And the uncertainty they cast upon us,
Over the orderly and satisfactory--
The dead pleasures and securities that
Exist nowhere but in feeble projections.
I favour the basic, primeval, animal grunt--
The dirt, the dizziness of true treading
Across the muddy shallows--,
Over the clattering of an overflowed,
Certain mind.
I favour doubt, earnest doubt,
Unpalatable doubt, inescapable doubt--
A smile in a pitch-black room,
A journey on a lukewarm air balloon,
A half-finished sentence in a half-serious gloom--,
Over hasty conclusions and tainted allusions.
I favour the endearing messiness of reality;
The chaos of light and dreams;
The mystery, so out of reach,
Of you and me and the space in-between;
The stained, torn, shattered, burnt,
Twisted texture we find ourselves upon,
Over the smooth, marble-white,
Sterile surface where false certainties
Slide, grinning, before they find themselves
On an impending collision with the infectious hesitation of the ground.
I favour the acknowledging look
Straight into the eye;
A ladder with one step;
A race with no competitors;
A contentment without resentment;
A bread on your table that's good enough,
That doesn't tease you and promise you more,
And more,
And more,
So that you forget what you should really care for,
What lies deep under your skin,
What stirs up the dormant contents of your guts--
You climb to the hilltop
Which finally allows you to have
A peek at the next one.
I favour uncertainty and risk,
And walking too close to the edge;
I favour barely enough,
And cutting it too close;
I favour throwing all excess over the board,
And lowering standards;
I favour the taste of imminent failure
And the adrenaline of a heart-wakening sprint;
I favour meagre means
And big dreams, free of currencies;
For they all remind me what the world
Really looks like,
Who I really am,
And what the winter-night winds
Really feel like.
I favour the ways of nature, often erratic,
***** ugly and convoluted,
Often dumbfounding,
Unintentionally intelligent and mysterious,
Over the ways of fear-ridden constructions,
For there is no such thing
As a straight line.
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 2:31 PM UTC
or “I think I’ll buy a cigar today”
I’ll smoke it tonight
nothing too expensive
but a reason to walk down a winter street
without going anywhere
A reason to do something devious
unhealthy, but nobody has to know
A reward to get me through a murky future
There may be nothing to do in town tonight
but it’s far too early to hold up
in that bomb shell paranoia
My parents have gone mad
by the cameras behind their eyes
and the dizziness of general telescopic evolution
Me, I was raised on seizure fleeting Pikachus
So far our defense is strong
We really feel the Earth spin
at its many miles an hour
“The Cold Solitary Cigar Walk Happened”
I waited for a friend to get home one evening
Bundled up, emitting smoke
to offend the quiet shut-ins of a neighborhood watch
I walked to the small old bridge over the canal
I had to **** so bad
I snuck down under the bridge and let loose in the snow
but not before shorting that foul little cigar
Bad taste in my mouth
the 5 minute journey was enough
Zipped up, bored on the bridge
my lonliness afforded me
the comfort of no public eye
I looked into the dark water
and spat a good ***
into the small reflection of a red safety light
The ripple and “splat” satisfied me
so much that I spat again
I turned around to walk
and some passerby girl appeared
She kept walking and pretended she didn't see me
Weren't you once my girlfriend?
Dec 14, 2013
Dec 14, 2013 at 9:44 PM UTC