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sara Jun 2018
When did I stop trusting you?
I didn't even notice it.
When did I stop listening,
start thinking you were full of it?

Convinced I'd heard it all before,
read all the writing on the wall.
I'd smile, and nod, then close the door.
I won't believe you anymore.

Why did I stop trusting you?
I never even wanted to.
The sky, it just turned inside out
when I first lent my ear to doubt.
'Full of it' is an English phrase which means full of **** btw
Ray T Mar 2018
If I told anyone I was *****, they wouldn’t believe me
I live in a world that preaches against hypothetical violence but when that **** comes into your life, everyone pushes it away.
I remember, no I don’t remember, I can barely remember his name.
I think it started with a “C”.
I think he was from Minnesota.
I think we were on a sixteen hour flight.
I think he smiled at me.
I think I smiled back, because why the **** wouldn’t I.
I think he took that as a green light.
I think I shut my eyes to try and sleep.
I think he took that as a green light.
I am fifteen.
I think too little of his advances and trust society enough for me to rest.
I know that was a mistake.
I know I woke up to a blanket around me that wasn’t there before.
I know I woke up to his palm pressed in my pants.
I know I woke up screaming.
I know I couldn’t open my mouth.
I know I was screaming.
I know my mother was on that same plane three rows back.
I was fifteen.

I told my friends and they never believed me.
I haven’t told a soul since.
Why did he walk away from that unscratched while I have been carrying it around like a dead animal for three years?
Why do men think they can own what they can see?
Let me tell you what I can see:
Five people who asked me why I didn’t fight back.
Four people that were sitting around me and claimed to see him putting the cover on me, yet did nothing.
Three of his friends I saw later on the trip who praised him for what he accomplished upon seeing what I looked like.
Two eyes in the mirror that cry almost everyday.
And one crack in that same mirror that will never go away.
Thank you all for your responses. This feels so amazing to let it all out in my words. This is about my first experience.
Karina Rose Sep 2010
If I close a Door I want You on the other side with me
If I close my eyes I want your light to shine through my eye lids

When I Grit my teeth and pull away will it keep you away Forever

I can’t kiss away Suspicion
I won’t in brace Distrust
With a Reputation like that
You’ll be sure to brake something I can’t replace

When my Conscience evaporates from this Heat
I find our simple situation controlled by complex chemicals

All the things you just don’t understand
They just slip through your sneaky fingers
and I will too
Thank you to my fifth Muse
Vicki Kralapp Aug 2013
Love is a war; a battlefield
looking for something real
in this world strewn with
shattered dreams.

Bombs and grenades blow holes
in innocent victims and
leave them to their pain
and despair.

I wait for my knight on horseback
to spare me.
I can hear the heavy hoofs and breathing of horses
as my army comes to stay the enemy of distrust.

My heart skips a beat
as I can almost feel salvation.
Holding my breath I wait for that which holds
my heart captive, to be slain.

Then you are here,along with
hope, joy, and freedom, your faithful companions,
to fill my heart and replace the blood
that has been spilt, with trust once again.
All poems are copy written and soul property of Vicki Kralapp.
Marshal Gebbie Jul 2018
How tenuous this grip we have, how slight our hold remains
When all around  loud braggards boast that power now pertains,
We see the banner headlines splashed across our daily rags
And redneck demonstrations cleans the streets of Spics and ****
When blood runs in the gutter as the battons rise and fall
And whilst taking tea in style the filthy rich ignore it all.
The blonde leader of our nation struts, postulates and brags
While the rest of us skive off around the corner smoking ****
Our  kids ingest confusion as they loiter on the street
Unknowing  our delusions make illusions held, replete.
How tenuous the grip we have, how slight our hold remains
As our allies shower cold distrust convinced our fault inflames.
What chance of clear redemption, what remedies revive
When truth is lost to darkness can our honesty survive?
Reputation cut to shards, confidences ******
That leaders of community no longer hold our trust
When white is caste as black and then to green and then to grey
And sanity refuses pontification one more day.
How tenuous the grip we have, how slight our holds remain
As twilight turns to darkness caste against a larks’ refrain.

M.
The White House
HAMILTON, New Zealand
25 July 2018
Despair across the nation, good people sitting quietly in their kitchens not quite believing the chaos and disunity sown by the White House amidst their communities, not knowing which way to turn to seek reason, to seek an element of promise for the morrow.

Who would have thought this possible in what was once, the greatest nation on Earth?

M.
T'was the night before Christmas, And at the back of the bar

Sat a man all alone, Lighting up a cigar

The waitress ran over and waving her hand

You can't do that here, Smoking is banned.

If you must smoke that thing, you can go to the street

And stay away from the building, by at least fifty feet

The man took a puff and with a voice like a croak

He said, "You're kidding, right miss? You're making a joke"

I'm sorry, but sir..I'm afraid that it's true

But the law is the law, and it's not only for you

That we must say **** out, please extinguish your smoke

So our place can be filled with other fine folk

For ninety two years I have walked on this earth,

I have broken no laws and you know what it's worth?

Bupkiss, no nada it's not worth a thing

Would that law still apply if I was a King?

I've been coming in here for 60 odd years

And I think I've consumed a truckload of beers

I've smoked in this corner on many a night

Now you say **** out, I don't think that's right.

I fought for this country at the end of the war

I came home with a war wound, and you know dear...what's more

I came to this bar to have drinks with my friends

Who all weren't so lucky and met terrible ends

They died on the beach, heart as big as a house

Taking on the unknown for their country, their spouse

They battled for honor, the right to be free

And they all weren't as lucky, to come home like me.

I was here in the sixities when Camelot died

I was here with my son, and we both sat and cried

It was that night in November, I remember it well

That my son said he'd joined up and was heading to hell

He had joined the marines and was all set to fight

For freedom and honor and he knew it was right

Because I'd gone before and stood with others like him

And I said just be safe, and come home son...my Jim

In the years he was gone, I came down here to think

Of why he was there and I shared smokes and drinks

With friends, all now gone from this world of distrust

Now they all lie beneath us, decomposed back to dust.

My son made it back and we came right down here

To spend time with our friends, both from far and from near.

The years passed us by and my grandson joined too

And we sat and we prayed in this bar, for we knew

He was fighting for freedom and the rights we hold dear

Like having some fun, over smokes and some beer.

He never came home from his war, don't you see

That's why we're sitting alone here, just you and me

Tonight is the night that his letter arrived

Saying "We regret to inform you...that no one survived"

So, each Christmas Eve I come back to this bar

To savor my memories and to drink from this jar

And I finish each year thinking of what now is gone,

Of my battle scarred boy and his now deceased son

Now, you come and tell me that I must go outside

To continue my smoking and so I'll abide

'cause for 92 years that I've been on this earth

I've broken no laws and you know what that's worth

Then the waitress reached back and she pulled out a match

From a box on the bar with a rusty old catch

She said Sir, I am sorry I didn't mean to offend

For this one night each year, the law I can bend

So please light one for me on this Christmas Eve Night

And Thank you from all who continue the fight.

Merry Christmas and HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019
A Christmas Eve Poem that was posted earlier, I have not added much, but, I think it is fitting to read so those of you who haven't seen my older works, and The Street Poems, may get a chance.
LexiSully May 2016
Feelings and emotions course through me like the cold tears run down my face

My breaths come short and forced as my heart burns with despair

"Do they secretly distrust me?" I cry into the night, for I had truly believed that I had changed for the better

"They must, for why else would they do such a thing as this?"

The darkness absorbs me, surrounds me, and I weep until I weep no more.
Val Vik Mar 29
I deeply care for you, even
with the scarring pain...

with your hypocrisy,
unnecessary outbursts,
  jealousy,
distrust,
sullen moods...


Please forgive me for my anger
I still love you most
midnight whispers, tears, and soul consciousness

*Anger don't mix well with love, either you forgive or forgive and let them go. Some people need to accept an apology they will never get, or it will slowly diminish the light inside them.
Terry O'Leary Aug 2014
The darkness, now descending, floods the city as it dies
while shadows lurk in legions 'neath the looming Evil Eye.
Its frozen stare envelops all, it penetrates and pries,
denouncing loathed dissenters to the keepers in the sky.

One’s inner thoughts are well descried before they’ve passed one’s lips
and cruelly crushed with grim contempt twixt despots’ fingertips;
but if no taboo-idea’s found, with which to come to grips,
the stymied Eye dispenses pus as fabrication drips.

The Eye peers down upon us now, to conquer and control,
and mark our every movement, whether hiding in a hole
or preening like a purple parrot perched upon a pole.
Our welfare and our happiness? No, certainly not the goal.

While phantoms fade, then reappear within the urban sprawl,
the gloom (adorned with Evil Eyes which pierce the livid pall)
pervades the ache and agony that poets sometimes scrawl
of plenitude to penury, how life endures the fall.

And should the herd dare whisper words of freedom's fragrant bloom
or murmur sighs of worriment at earth's impending doom,
the Evil Eye will squint a bit at those who so presume,
condemning nascent unchained thoughts to wither in the womb.

The Evil Eye bores everywhere, a tattletale to Kings,
who scrutinize their puppet people, strumming on their strings,
extracting secrets of their souls like spiders plucking wings
that flutter with the hangman’s knot as the corpse of freedom swings.

Yes, Princes rule with tungsten fists wherever they may roam
and sip from golden goblets, nectar, sweet as honeycomb
while peons (stripped of mind and soul) stray never far from home,
with faces 'neath the iron boot, ****** deep below the loam.

And peasants pass, parading by to fill the golden urn
with pennies for the afterlife wherefore the faithful yearn,
though screams of babes with empty eyes are never of concern
to those who covet silver coins, eyes cold and taciturn.

To hide the pains of purgatory, far-flung distant shores
(on islands of containment) cache the dingy dungeon doors
and inquisition water-boards that buoy their holy wars,
while sandmen drape our eyes with dust, with rainbow metaphors.

We’ll know the party's over when there's little left to eat
and all the learned scholars, lean, stay silent when they meet -
the Eye, withal, will spawn distrust on matters indiscreet.
The signs are all around us - even sheep no longer bleat.

                        Epilogue
One sightless seer scans the skies and mourns the heretofore.
Nine limbless men descend the stairs to find there is no floor.
Eight tongueless women babble, telling tales of nevermore.
Four earless children drown within the ocean's muted roar.

When hope becomes defiance, ask: Will bedlam soon arrive?
Will doves appear above us all? Or drones to guard the hive
while fed with milk and honey by the Queen and kept alive
to gut the gale below them? Will we let the Eye survive?
Hannah Christina May 2018
A shuddered sigh, then some hope inhaled.
A wince of distrust, yet a heart unveiled.
A cautious smile leaves a little too late.
And a hopeful look rises to the bait.
A tensed up brow begins to relax,
For peace and joy have been too long taxed.
Sorrow still lurks in the back of the mind,
But reluctantly it is left behind.
A cautious faith is restored anew
And I open myself
back up
to you.
Panda May 2018
Most of these days
I question why I stay
When leaving my bed
Causes aches in my head
And heading upstairs
I breathe in, and beware
For I'm "not allowed" stress
While things are a mess

Things are always a mess.

I'm 18
I'm free, right?
Free from a screaming mother
Free from a violent brother
Free from my anxiety bombs
Free from my role as the mom

I'm 18
I'm free, right?
I spend hours at night
Scanning the net
For apartments and jobs
To get my life set
I could move across states
Far away from this home
I could travel to China
Or Paris or Rome

But it costs too much for Rome.

I'm 18
I'm free, right?
Free from a screaming mother
Free from a violent brother
Free from my anxiety bombs
Free from my role as the mom

I'm free
But you see
When my brothers and sister
Can't rely on their mother
Cuz she screams out her stress
Leave them feeling useless
When my brothers they rage
Out in anger and spite
They don't talk to their mother
Out of distrust and fright
Who do they come to
When scared?
Who do they come to
When wanting advice?
Who do they come to
For love and praise?
And I'm not saying
That my mother didn't raise
Her children the best she could
But right now
She's not alright.
And right now
It wouldn't be right
To leave my siblings
Flaws and all
Without some guidance
For when they fall

I'm 18
I'm free... right?
Is this right?
Will things be alright
If I'm free?

I'm alright.
Marta C Weeks May 2017
Some need rocks
To rest bigotry upon
Look down, feel taller
Or throw at others

Others have no guts
Camp on smiles
Feed on indifference
Rivers of promise
Golden tomorrows

Our country is burning
With horror and loss
Buried in traditions hides
Pits of immorality
Walls of racism

Halls filled with assets
Sit in miles of doubt
On hills of sorrow
Growing with fear

Brother, clinging to fear
Differences and inequalities
Hidden from having
While some take all

Sister, must you hate
Wish to **** hope
Bleaching love with hate
In fear of loss

Driven to please
Hating race or creed
Feeding in lack
Altars of fanatical pride
As if there's no God

Walking shame to blame
Taking sides with captors
Tearing all apart
To make what's not

Life goes forward
Insecurity drains hearts
Feeds souls to saviors
With political lies
Trading guts for greed

Builders of distrust
Sell promises if the power
Hiding cruel minds
Open theirs to close ours

Where is forever in now
Convinced we had choices
Wanting more than not
Lost sight of beyond

Cages of greed
Built by pulpits of avarice
Filled by a Congress
Here now, gone tomorrow

Eternal is only the universe
One minute we are here
Without love, there's no power
And soon we die
Holiness lost

Revised 7/7/2019
[email protected]
(had one of those nights, into morning, when my mind spun words  instead of dreams)
RJP Feb 12
Chicks out of season
Scamper subtle fear
Creation torn up
Jagged and exact
Mud and green beaten
Senselessly into
Concrete submission
For the pleasure of
No honey-like dust
Being dragged over
Woven corridors
Void sovereign feeling
Imprisoned stare blank
Distrust unerring
Greed and Ambition
Little boxed in hills
Animate in guilt
Projected from those
Who like to point out
'Look, look its something'
Tori Nov 2017
At a towering height it looms o're me
Hiding me within its shadow,
It bears the face of a phantom
with eyes that are dark and hollow.

With one jagged claw around my throat
and the other to my heart pressed
Its voice is a deafening static,
it will never let me rest.

It speaks with empty words that sounds so horribly like truth.
It praises distrust and confusion
while demanding the need for proof.

It feeds off the nervous breath that I breathe,
Its intoxicated by thoughts of gloom,
It ***** the life out from my lungs
and my happiness it consumes.

The shadow overwhelms  me,
now my body's growing numb
I wait in mortal terror
for the darkness to overcome.

Then something catches my attention,
is it fear in those empty eyes?
Its grip begins to loosen
and its static sounds more like lies.

There's a whisper moving gently
like cool water upon the sand
He  kindly beckons to me
asking that I take His hand.

The jagged claws have lost that grip
which once held me strong
Now I can face it eye to eye
as I should have all along

The shadow fears the Whisper's truth,
and it shudders in trepidation
the battle's won, the foe undone
now in retreat it hastens.

I inhale deeply and then a voice
with no language and no tone
breathes over me, saying lovingly
"You are not alone"
I have gone through many periods of doubt in my life...especially about my faith, but I have found that by facing the doubt head on I grow stronger.
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