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Paper. Pen.
    Let's write out our feelings.
    "I'm having a rough time."
Cell phone
Online recipes.
    I should cook that soon.
Hotel websites.
    Free breakfast? Eh I'm vegan now so just fruit.
    Swimming pool? I'm sure it'll be busy
    Fitness center. Leo wants to run in the morning.
    Booked. Could be a good night.
Paper. Pen.
    Right. Writing.
    "I can tell journaling is helpful
    because I'm resistant to doing it."
Text messages.
    Leo thinks they were too mean to me.
    I think I deserve it.
    I love you.
Paper. Pen.
    Hm. I should write some poetry.
Photos.
    Wow look at how my face has changed, let's make a collage.
    Oo what else.
    Body pictures.
    Pre-surgery picture.
    Damm I've really sculpted up.
    Reconsiders feeling gross physically.
    Arguable.
Paper. Pen.
    How easy it is to ignore you.
    How easy it is to ignore myself
    And not listen to my feelings.
I am very good at avoiding acknowledging my feelings. I'm working on being more aware of it.
Carter Ginter Jan 2018
These thoughts are suffocating
I'm trying to live in the moment
But their faces keep spinning past me
Their voices echoing in my mind
I can't handle this
Panic shocks my entire core
My limbs start to shake and I need to let it out
But I can't
My eyes remain dry and my skin stays clean
I'm stuck, as these movies clog my consciousness
Replaying all my mistakes
And our most intimate moments
Tear-stained faces burn into my vision
They make it hard to breathe
Lost in this anxiety
Most days being with you makes the darkness fade
But sometimes these demons are too strong to tame
So I try to be ok and silence the negativity
But it's hard when the feelings are trapped in my memories
Hanna May 2018
I have work, I say.
It’s the same every day.
But you can’t bear me leaving,
and, instead, we spend the evening,
wrapped up in each other’s promises.

I must go, I insist,
but how could I leave such bliss?
You pull me back down to your side,
I wouldn’t care if I was blind,
so long as I could taste your kiss.

This isn’t fair, I protest,
but you’ve got me on house arrest.
I guess that you are my home,
the only place I don’t feel alone
is tucked in your arms.

And when I must leave you behind,
you stay persistently on my mind
and I am forever distracted.
My favourite one that I’ve written in a while - it’s so rare for me to write about positive things.
TheSaneSaloon Apr 22
Distracted, caught in a game
Smart phone, fame
This mind is led by its brain
A new life sought, now stake a claim

Gouged out my eyes,
In Jesus name
Cut out my tongue,
The rudder that steered in disdain
Pierced my eardrums,
That cynic's voice was to blame

Blind, deaf, and mute....
and feeling like never before!

So, Ill heat the iron.
Cauterize the fingers,
then the toes,
What stench?
I first melted my nose.
It should only make sense,
When one never stops to smell the rose.
All that remains is beyond prose.
I have this idea that If I lose focus, Ill lose everything. All the while, this body Im bound to is pulled to answer anything that even hints as a means to find relief.
i ripped open my skin
and salted my wounds
just so for a little while
i wouldn’t think about you.

- it didn't even work.

// q.h.
June 15, 2019
Carter Ginter Jun 2014
It's so stupid:
I'll be sitting here and suddenly
A picture of you pops up and
It doesn't bother me.
Until I look into your face and
I remember back to a time when
Things were ok between us...
But now they aren't and
I don't know why.
I can't figure out why it's hurting this badly.
I've tried busy work,
Singing,
Screaming,
Drinking...
None of it helps but
I haven't broken down yet.
Maybe it's the pride
Or denial
That someone like you
Could do this to me.
You somehow brought light to my life
After a malicious storm of darkness,
When everything was falling
And you said you would catch me...
But now, when I need you the most-
Ironically, because of you-
You're nowhere to be found,
You won't be back around,
And then I hit the ground.
...
Elizabeth Zenk Jul 2018
Wistful tears melt down my cheeks.
Nostalgic of our infinity together.
I kept myself intact, wholly yet new, and now without the pitiful distractions, I must reflect upon myself, alone.
Debilitating heartache
Bleakening one’s life.
Pining to relive and forget the past.
Everything still so crystal clear,
so picturesque in nature.
The smells, the sights, the feelings.
How could I have let it slip away?
Did he ever speak of me?
Ever talk about me?
Or did he just forget the joyous days we spent together under the heat of moment’s madness?
Am I the only one homesick for not my house, but for the person that broke me?
My lip twitches as sentimental recollections start to overflow and spill, creating a puddle of emptiness, longing, and heartbreak.
Debilitating heartache.
Watching the clock tick down seconds I've wasted
waiting for you.
Carter Ginter Mar 2018
11:32am
My alarm goes off
I should probably shower
But I lay here and read poetry instead

11:40am
I could probably still shower
It's cold and the hot water would feel nice
But this sadness anchors me to my bed
So I write some poetry instead

11:52am
I'm still writing
And I definitely haven't showered
I need to get dressed to leave at noon
When did I get so bad at deadlines?

12:03pm
My ride is here
I'm still not dressed
No binder today
So I throw on an old sweater and some sweats
Good enough for me
Tanya Louise Dec 2018
My ears were ringing, the pimple on my upper lip stinging.
The words they were saying, drowned in the harsh love they were playing.
I know how lovely you are, how kind you can be.
Oh! How I want to believe.
The large weight on my shoulders made my eyes and nose run.
Tick tock went the clock, reminding me of how wrong I was.
Internally my heart stopped for a second, a second too slow.
Her wisdom baffles me all the time, his warnings ******* me time and time again.
While the rope around my neck gets tighter and tighter, the days go faster and faster.
Their advice I would take, hoping and hoping its not too late.
Seanathon May 14
I'm so selfish
That I've only wanted my own distractions to distract me

In those ways which I will certainly be
At peace and free

Because time passing alone
Isn't enough to please me

Let alone someone else, near by at present
As it was never meant nor will be

But instead it's the foolish selfish desire
Which I've let govern me, sadly

For more time now than I care to admit
I've called by name, these distractions and me
Distractions
Madelynn Nieves Sep 2018
Our lips are touching
But my mind is drifting
To everything but you
In these moments of truth
I have no proof
No hopeless devotion
Or strings of emotion
One foot out the door
Pedal to the floor
I’m counting the steps
No thoughts of regrets
Waiting impatiently
Feigning affections
Knowing my direction
Listening to the beat of my heart
Following the rhythm
Searching for a brand new start
Awaiting the moment
When I have the words
To explain why we need to part
Cowardice in its purest form
Nothing outside of the norm
Fearless Aug 7
Reflected there in my little sunglasses
two of me I see like I'm drunk
trying to focus on homework for classes
distracted with ADHD, who'd have thunk
there are my keys and a pile of papers
water jug, I need to drink more of that
I should have dinner with salmon and capers
was that my next door neighbors cat?
little distractions add up in my day
so it takes me a while to get things done
every morning for concentration I pray
and then God brings out that beautiful sun
focus on Me and you will have all you need
you don't have to compete with everyone
racing through life at breakneck speed
is the way to ensure you will have no fun
so I stop and smell a beautiful flower
and I realize I'm happy with a giant smile
through me flows a tremendous power
you have to remind yourself once in a while
life is for living, we're meant to live life
I know it's hard when there's so much to do
whether you're a friend, sibling, husband or wife
but stop and listen. That's how you find YOU.



"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
To be saved for you
Is to be passive,
Your goal to end our complaints,
To put us on a diet, starving on faux saints.
"Be peaceful, don't disrupt our war (and whorin')
Or we'll war against your peace."
So holy, so blameless,
All you want is for such joy
To be endless.
That's why you take from us our feeling,
Our thoughts,
And our choices,
Leaving us in chains,
Funneling us by limits
Created by YOUR taints
Into soul-destroying foyers,
Where time and life may waste.
You think that because you can't control you
That those who can should pay.
Selfish, solipsistic, your so-called love is locks,
Constraints on us to keep us quiet,
Your loving face a feint.
Blank stares you give us when we smile
Without the approval of your code,
All a maze to hide your lying, stealing, using ugly soul.
Shut up! Nothing is ugly! I'm perfect as I am!
Using killing thieving stealing!
Creating pain for generations to come.
All is well and all is equal, evil's well as good!
No consequences to my actions, grin and bear it like you should!
My glimmer proves I'm God's own child,
I use his name in vain, I AM! (be ******)
My smile's worth the price you pay,
So we pretend that we are clean!
Why wash when we can remain the same,
This Perfect Princely Palace
Of Peace and Love and Joy so long,
Clearly nothing here is wrong!
We have the Way, enjoy the fruits! Ignore the offal all around you, I promise you we're true! (and beauty too)
Rhyme and reason, faith and charity, motions you go through,
But nought ever improves.
So what is love if you don't care
Because you're bent on filling pews?
All men are hypocrites, all women liars,
Picking pieces that fill them up with ways to fuel their fire, to fool their eyes and ears and hearts
So they can doll up dogs and parade around desires
Claiming they're Divine.
None are good, all are false,
And every prophet suffers while the rich who seek toward heaven tell them quit your want for something better,
Settle for this trash, it's all we've got. (drink wine)
That's not a cherub's way, He's passion,
Not an old castrated goat
Who ***** the hooves of Shaitan,
Below the vaulted sky
To mewl for his grubby food.
What decency have men left,
What dignity, what shame.
Your lack of caring for those angels you make suffer before your faulty throne
Proves you're the one alone, unworthy of His name.
Next time you critique the critic
Perhaps you should hear him first,
Rather than making every verse you ****** a *****
To excuse your cowardice toward the Word, ye murderers of faith and love and truth.
Remember youth.
Your best be uncouth 'n' open,
Not hiding from the light.
They fight and claw toward heaven's voice,
Not run away in fright
From God's rumbling,
Whining about rough words,
So those selfish faux good demons can send more off a cliff of empty bliss without question,
While they get off on it in vile hubris, a craven's lust for power and control over other souls.
(Learn the Lesson)
So take your hats off,
Show your skin,
Be more honest,
And Let Me In.
Sometimes it's hard to know what you desire, when the world does not possess it.
TMReed Oct 30
Afraid of her waves,
I steer into the trees,
fashion my nest
From the oars and leaves.
Teach oldies to the birds,
mice, the harmonies,
squander afternoons
waiting for the breeze.

Afraid of her waves,
I fly toward the heavens
to roam with pilgrims
crying rivers and oceans.
I listen to their stories
of ruin and misfortune.
And discover boats can be
both frightened and broken.

Afraid of her waves,
I crash into the moon,
bug the man inside,
a bit of a recluse,
with questions rounding
How the ocean moves.
He bellies of an ache,
But I know it's just a bruise.

Afraid of her waves,
I spin off seven rings
slingshot out this galaxy
on black and speckled wings,
tumble through a universe
where no and everything
look so eerily the same
that my boat begins to sink.

Afraid of her waves,
I row anywhere else
until walls crumble down
until oars row themselves.
When I scale her summits,
gobbled by her swell,
I peek over my shoulder
where the sea, she's ever still.
Grey 5d
Ideas swirl in my mind
Forming windstorms
That pick up scattered thoughts and words
and grow into tornadoes
that whirl across my mind.

They distract from life
From what's real
and what matters.

But when I sit down to write
They all flee in terror
And my pen hovers above the page
filled only with scribbled out phrases
and my own insecurities.
I always have these stories and ideas in my mind, but when I go to write them down, the words to do so evade me and it comes out as sloppy, half-formed, and not anywhere near as good as they were in my head.
Alyssa Underwood Sep 2017
Perilous times are foretold for the end
When the one who betrays might as soon be a friend
When he who walked with you in the midst of God's throng
Proves a broken-off reed who didn't belong
When the crowd turns away from the truth they once knew
To embrace a strange fire of the enemy's brew
When the mystic is favored much more than the teacher
And intolerant is the name reserved for the preacher

For myriads have tasted of the heavenly gifts
Then at some unknown point the set compass shifts
And they show by the fact that they do not endure
That they never knew the One Whose salvation is sure
For He's promised He cannot lose one of His own
Yet His wheat grows with tares that His enemy's sown
So these goats dressed as sheep might say all the right words
But pasted-on wings do not turn moles to birds

They learn the same Scriptures and enjoy the same songs
But haven't yet come to the cross for their wrongs
Haven't taken it up and followed the Lord
Have never been born of His Spirit Who is poured
Into all whom the Father has chosen for His Son
Those predestined before the world had begun
So among the elect in the pews sit the dead
Unregenerate men taking up masks instead

And some will sit thus for the rest of their life
While others walk away overcome by the strife
Of their trials, distractions, desires or greed
Rather trusting the world to provide all that they need
For discipleship costs and most think it too high
A price now to pay of their self who must die
Most are tripped by the weight of that covenant walk
Which accompanies a faith that goes past mere talk

It is God's grace alone which grants genuine belief
And with it repentance for proud or for thief
While the course remains bumpy until dying day
The saved may fall down, but they can't fall away
For salvation from first to the last is of the Lord
And His Spirit within is what keeps saints secured
It's our duty and privilege to obey and abide
Yet how could we without His power inside?

Now besides a new fuel we receive a new nature
The old man is dead, we are made a new creature
One that's being conformed to the image of Jesus
So we live to please Him now and not to please us
But because of this switch the world is enraged
For when light shines in darkness its evil's front stage
They hate us the same as they hated our Master
And as time nears its close their fury swells faster

Persecution's been promised for all who are godly
Could be mocking, rejection or harm that is ******
It cannot compare though to what's been exchanged
In the gift of redemption for our souls long-deranged
So we dare not forget when the blows are received
That those doing the punching are still dead and deceived
Still locked in the grip of the enemy's force
Still blinded by sin, still enslaved to its course

Just judgment will come if they do not repent
If they keep on rejecting God's Lamb Who was sent
So it's best left to Him to defend us against
The disdain and discord of a world that's incensed
For they're already judged who refuse to believe
And we would be too but for mercy's reprieve
Being saved from God's wrath that is soon to be poured
Out full strength onto those who His truths have ignored

In the meantime the Father's maturing His children
Forging character depth through both trials and discipline
So let's not lose hope in the face of our sorrow
But rejoice that He's working it out for tomorrow
Since we have a sure treasure stored for us in heaven
And we'll soon be set free from all sin-staining leaven
Let's press on toward Christ's likeness worked in us by grace
And look hard for first moments our eyes see His face!
~~~

"'However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.'"  
~ Acts 20:24
Alyssa Underwood Feb 2016
Perilous times are foretold for the end
When the one who betrays might as soon be a friend
When he who walked with you in the midst of God's throng
Proves a broken-off reed who didn't belong
When the crowd turns away from the truth they once knew
To embrace a strange fire of the enemy's brew
When the mystic is favored much more than the teacher
And intolerant is the name reserved for the preacher

For myriads have tasted of the heavenly gifts
Then at some unknown point the set compass shifts
And they show by the fact that they do not endure
That they never knew the One Whose salvation is sure
For He's promised He cannot lose one of His own
Yet His wheat grows with tares that His enemy's sown
So these goats dressed as sheep might say all the right words
But pasted-on wings do not turn moles to birds

They learn the same Scriptures and enjoy the same songs
But haven't yet come to the cross for their wrongs
Haven't taken it up and followed the Lord
Have never been born of His Spirit Who is poured
Into all whom the Father has chosen for His Son
Those predestined before the world had begun
So among the elect in the pews sit the dead
Unregenerate men taking up masks instead

And some will sit thus for the rest of their life
While others walk away overcome by the strife
Of their trials, distractions, desires or greed
Rather trusting the world to provide all that they need
For discipleship costs and most think it too high
A price now to pay of their self who must die
Most are tripped by the weight of that covenant walk
Which accompanies a faith that goes past mere talk

It is God's grace alone which grants genuine belief
And with it repentance for proud or for thief
While the course remains bumpy until dying day
The saved may fall down, but they can't fall away
For salvation from first to the last is of the Lord
And His Spirit within is what keeps saints secured
It's our duty and privilege to obey and abide
Yet how could we without His power inside?

Now besides a new fuel we receive a new nature
The old man is dead, we are made a new creature
One that's being conformed to the image of Jesus
So we live to please Him now and not to please us
But because of this switch the world is enraged
For when light shines in darkness its evil's front stage
They hate us the same as they hated our Master
And as time nears its close their fury swells faster

Persecution's been promised for all who are godly
Could be mocking, rejection or harm that is ******
It cannot compare though to what's been exchanged
In the gift of redemption for our souls long-deranged
So we dare not forget when the blows are received
That those doing the punching are still dead and deceived
Still locked in the grip of the enemy's force
Still blinded by sin, still enslaved to its course

Just judgment will come if they do not repent
If they keep on rejecting God's Lamb Who was sent
So it's best left to Him to defend us against
The disdain and discord of a world that's incensed
For they're already judged who refuse to believe
And we would be too but for mercy's reprieve
Being saved from God's wrath that is soon to be poured
Out full strength onto those who His truths have ignored

In the meantime the Father's maturing His children
Forging character depth through both trials and discipline
So let's not lose hope in the face of our sorrow
But rejoice that He's working it out for tomorrow
Since we have a sure treasure stored for us in heaven
And we'll soon be set free from all sin-staining leaven
Let's press on toward Christ's likeness worked in us by grace
And look hard for first moments our eyes see His face!
"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace."  Acts 20:24

Thank you Melissa Pagano, Eddie Starr, Lidi Minuet, my Soul Survivor sister Catherine and many others for your examples of boldness to proclaim the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! You are true inspirations to me!!
Linespace Oct 8
In this garden,
This beautiful creation I've blessed with my wisdom and experience,
I see in dimensions no one else can.
My third eye gleams in the sunlight, glowing and glistening like a perfectly cut jade.

In the distance, I see my goal.
It breeches the soil and reaches for the sun's warm embrace,
Escaping the mortal coil without ever leaving its vessel.

I approach.
Through the travel, the soil beneath me turns to salt and cracks.
The bees turn to wisps of a time once forgotten,
The butterflies, ghosts of a forgotten era.
The sun and Moon become a single entity forever fused in a dance older than time itself.
The sky turns dark and bleeds attempting to warn me of the horrors protecting my ambitions.
My claim to my destiny becomes shaken.

I power forward, blinded only in the physical world.
And as I approach the apple hanging gracefully from the tree
The snake will whisper its temptations,
And God will scream and tear the heavens asunder, seeking my cursed flesh and blood.
And as I pluck my ambitions and wisdom, digesting it and the truth whole,
The corners of my stone eyes will crack,
My third eye will screech,
And I will watch as both God and the serpent battle over my intentions.

I am The Prophet.
My destiny is written by me and me alone,
And all those who take claim to my soul will be cut down by my power.

I am The Prophet.
Where my gifts and talents, ambitions and goals, and curses and vices originate
Is unknown
But these are answers that do not matter.

I will tame the serpentine prince.
I will take claim to the power your God once stole from me.
I will refuse the sun its moment to set, plunging myself in eternal sunset.
I will embrace the moon as my lover,
And I will not allow you, nor anyone, nor anything power.

I am The Prophet.
I will scan the horizon with my peripheral vision
And blind myself with the sun's direct effects
To strengthen the sight of my soul.
nadine Jul 2018
recurrent moonlit distractions
captured by words
tied down into morsels;
separated and concealed,
contiguous yet sheer greetings
of each other’s skin
had left wanton burns
and gushing streams
of a brooding lover’s propensity
for unsusceptible matters of the heart.

there, he stood,
on the precipice of tomorrows;
ruminating and scrupulous,
forlorn yet never dithering
over mundane and quintessential quandaries
of the tepid gloss of incertitude
dangling off syllables
dictated by sordid agony.

there, he stood,
in the midst of everything;
from the otiose adoration
poured out of empty caskets
to the lenitive shades of his eyes.

with the ripples of moonlight,
the gestalt of doleful flower-like hearts,
there, she stood,
and waited.
and waited some more.
Charlie Dog Sep 2018
Who am I in the stillness,
when things get quiet.
With nothing to divert to.
When it's only me, and I,
in the empty spaces.
The personas, dropped.
I find myself reaching.
For something, anything.
I can't bear to be alone.
I'm addicted to distractions.
The sober silence scares me.
Who am I in the stillness?
Am i just so empty?
grasping at anything to feel full.
Am I afraid of who I've become?
Proving myself worthy,
has been futile.
You still see me as flawed,
I am real

My love is honest,
not just a word.
Not just an emotion,
Love is real

New safety nets are up,
fear of more rejection.
Time to part ways,
Loneliness is real.

Time is short,
so many distractions.
Struggle to stay focused,
Pain is real.

What drives me to keep living?
How long will it save me?
I want to keep loving you,
Be loved by you.
Real
March 23, 2015
Blackson Dec 2018
I have let the devil distract me
It came in form of
Friends, wine, smoke, drugs,  preachers, women, fun.
It came in the form of sweet things.
I am tired of being happy . I want to be sad to conscious
Austin Sessoms Apr 2012
soft spoken kisses
buried in my neck and
across my face
remind me of happiness
joy I found
in a golden shock of hair
and two lips stuck red
on the face of a woman
who swore that she loved me

tight tight nights
of hold-me-close sensations
remind me that
I haven't always been alone
and even more
that I don't always have to be
but I am
touching skin to skin
and passing witty banter
for flirtation
takes our minds off
the fact that we aren't
each others soul mates
or lovers
or anything more than friends

we are distractions
from the painful reality
that we have no one
to pour ourselves into
no one to cradle
no one to ****

for just this moment
we pretend
we can be that for each other
supplying what we can
to keep up with demands
of love
affection
attention

after all
that's what friends are for
Bella Aug 2018
I'm doing so good
so good
but I know it's just distractions
and what happens when the distractions run out
at what point is getting rid of the bad
by ignoring the bad
a bad thing?

I mean,
it seems good
until you think about it
and I think about it
it's all still there
I just kept tip toeing around triggers in the battlefield of my own mind
and I can't just do nothing
and I can't be alone in the dark

because then I'm not better anymore
and all of that hard work of ignoring and ignoring and distracting and ignoring just crumbles
it all goes to ****
and I'm left sobbing desperately so desperately

so tell me
which is better
being depressed all the time
or distracting myself from my own depression
tiptoeing around my own thoughts and dying a little every time I step on a creaky board

which one is better
Willow-Anne Dec 2016
In times of crisis or trouble
I’m the one that keeps it together
When the world's crashing around me
I remain everybody’s tether

“Hey are you alright?”

I offer words of comfort
I tell them: ‘all will be okay’
No matter what the problem is
I have something positive to say

“You know…. its okay to be upset”

‘I’m fine’, I tell them all
When things happen in my life
Everyone around me is impressed
That I’ve overcome another strife

“Just keep hanging in there”

The truth is no one knows
That this is how I cope
I hide behind the happy mask
So I can give others hope

“You’re taking this…really well”

But somewhere along the way
I lost track of how I feel
I even tricked myself into thinking
That my happiness was real

“Are….are you sure you’re okay?”

But I can feel my façade cracking
Emotions are breaking through
I don’t have any distractions
And I don’t know what to do

“But..if you’re really okay…”

I force my smile even bigger
And laugh without knowing why
I’ll do whatever I have to do
To maintain this beautiful lie

*“…then why are you crying?”
CA Guilfoyle Feb 2015
It is nothing hard to reach, looking outward
countless distractions, how they move me about
I play a game, circling moon-blue rings of sky
see a rivulet of stars quiver by.

It is nothing easy, fretful, I tremble with night
dark unnerving path, I run and hide
amble, fumble my way to reach inside.

It is something worthwhile at times to swallow a river
dredge miles of soul, to crumble stony towers
reconstruct this apprenticeship
slipping back into softness.
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