Though I know not for what I weep, these words they haunt, disrupting sleep, filling mind with poetic dread, no rest for the wicked, as mind distends.
And as it does, lo darkness rise, as body shudders and spirit dies.
Convulsive twists and mental splits, as tearing eyes meet trembling fists.
With no reprieve for searching eyes, paradox in rhetoric, the mind contrives, drifting off to a busy place; distraction laced in tempered pace.
But what hides behind is my true face, burying shame, with such disgrace, but I keep on, not showing face, where such defiance is commonplace.
And so I drift, as if in dream, I feign content as insides scream, echoing off of distant thoughts, of times of innocence, of times now lost. Of times of youth, of times of joy, so little remains of that young boy. But how I long to bring him back, to smile again, to joke, to laugh. To feel content within my skin, to feel the love of all my kin, to truly feel I'm not alone, to finally enjoy the warmth of home. To mend those things that bring us pain, to never again watch loved ones strain. No longer struggling, being whole again, not always wondering when the pain would end.
04/06/2017