how the **** can i be angry when
you help yourself to what's left
after all love is
always the closest thing
to death

bethlehem is restless
terrorist holograms of mary teary unblessed when
death is living every day of your life forever breathless
breathing is all that is left in your chest when the stress hits
regresses to compressing aggressive obsessiveness
******* in pages to confess unspoken messages
the lightening and quiet screams promise me
they'll light my step through this
green grass in it's morning dress
uncaressed by pestilence
beth/rest
you're possessed by this

and the ghosts flitting between the trees
direct me to the places i must have seen in dreams
before i lost the connection to the earth long since
to the directionlessness of adolescence
every vibration left a crack
enough tremor to slide a pin in
and erzebet would visit my skin every night with rumplestilstkin
and they'd spin another needle through the muscle soft as linen,
they promised it would turn to gold, so long
as i stayed hidden at the loom in this prison

shoulders tightening as they thread it away
i look at the money in my minnie wallet and pray
everything safe always seems to go away in a flash
so perhaps it was just that nothing was ever safe
maybe they will leave if i say that i don't
believe in any of these ******* fairies anymore
but maybe i am older than the world is different
and they were just never fairies at all

it seemed to be such a small small place back then
when you could always cheat at LIFE
and run away and play pretend
in your imagination
didn't have to listen to anyone
now cops and parents hate you
and everyone wants to know
what college you've been in cause
surviving is neither irony nor blessing today
just simple catastrophe and endless dissarray

I walk through the flame
With a torch
Scorching
Heat rises
While the Sun sets
Scolding Iron
Black burns
From the white hot

Esteemed
The bloods boiling
About to erupt
And rupture
The surface
Earth is
Perfect
For destruction
I get to choose
Shall I just quake
And make shook?
Or just break
And make soot?
To explode
Or stay put?
I can enter
As emperor
Ashes and embers
In the center of
Cinders
I stood
Like a cintaur
I was sent for
Tinders and timber
Fire from the heavens
Rays
To dissarray
I can reign
In array
In a way
That braises
Those in the way
I rose
At dusk
As dust showers
A presence with
A towering essence

I reckon
My wreckage
Has a message

Make haste
Or you will ruin
My hue in tune
With my shoes
Blues tone
Tutone
My red bones
Wouldn't break
If you through stones
Whose on?
Rock solid boulder
I smolder
I decide
When to explode
I can mold
Or stand bold

My manifold is manifested
In my crest

The formation maker
of multanimous nature!

I decide!
Devastation
Or Resignation?

Devise a planetary Invasion
or
Reassign my placement?

I think this nation
Is destined
To be the destination
For infestation

When each second of holding
Is holding too long
I change myself to the perfect night
For what's already gone
You would laugh it off and say
Its already done
But I hear the haunting remnants
Of the saddest song
How can I be strong?
How can I be strong?
The subtle dissarray
And what my life's become
When each bitter drop of black
Night that lingers on
And keeps the stars from meaning
And keeps me from the dawn
How can I be strong?
How can I be strong?
This creeping loss of feeling
And what my life's become

I live in the state of North Carolina
In a constant state of dissarray

It takes time to grow
It takes time to develop
It takes time to know
You need creases in your face,
laugh lines, dark circles, wrinkles on your forehead
To understand
and to become everything you need to be
There is no need to rush the germination of your soul
You're just gonna have to give yourself time to grow
And sometimes growth comes slow
But that's okay
You don't have to run away
From everything that ties you down and causes you pain
You can become okay with the dissarray
And just look out your window,
wherever you are
Look at how the sun is so faithful
It rises every new morning
Just continue to rise everyday
with the sun
and in due time
You will get there, wherever that is
And you will become who you need to be
And you will breathe,
you will laugh
You will see
how the hardships made you stronger and kinder
Just wait and see,
You will grow dear,
You will grow so tall and magnificently
But as for now,
Put a seed of love in your heart
And tend to it gently
For love is more important than growth,
You must love yourself and be love to others
Whoever you are, wherever you are.

This is one of those days
That children weep and cry.
It appears uncouth underneath this blue sky.
So I left to go isolate myself against the dissarray
And ended up in my own mound of petulant clay.

Here I lied until the water fell through.
And began to flood my humble abode.
I had to journey again to some place astride my back a massive load.
The mound decayed. I was sad: It was bijou.
So I fled again. To my asylum: Adieu.

Returned to the children. They still lied there, but arid.
They had become humble and relaxed.
I asked them how they had achieved their ******.
They spoke of how, they were visited by an aphid.
It was such a strange idea. So very rigid.

''There look! Look! Stands our saviour.''
They awed and praised across the land.
As if she healed them from tips of her hand.
And so I observed and analayzed her behaviour.
And then I realised the scene I abhor.

You stood there with the minion on your arm.
I blatantly stared. Awkward. Uncomfortable. No resonance.
And so, like the children, I wept at the zephyr of your fragrance.
A siren's song, evident as an alarm.
To be so vindictive as to once again place the firearm.