"dissarray" poems
how the **** can i be angry when
you help yourself to what's left
after all love is
always the closest thing
to death
bethlehem is restless
terrorist holograms of mary teary unblessed when
death is living every day of your life forever breathless
breathing is all that is left in your chest when the stress hits
regresses to compressing aggressive obsessiveness
********** in pages to confess unspoken messages
the lightening and quiet screams promise me
they'll light my step through this
green grass in it's morning dress
uncaressed by pestilence
beth/rest
you're possessed by this
and the ghosts flitting between the trees
direct me to the places i must have seen in dreams
before i lost the connection to the earth long since
to the directionlessness of adolescence
every vibration left a crack
enough tremor to slide a pin in
and erzebet would visit my skin every night with rumplestilstkin
and they'd spin another needle through the muscle soft as linen,
they promised it would turn to gold, so long
as i stayed hidden at the loom in this prison
shoulders tightening as they thread it away
i look at the money in my minnie wallet and pray
everything safe always seems to go away in a flash
so perhaps it was just that nothing was ever safe
maybe they will leave if i say that i don't
believe in any of these ******* fairies anymore
but maybe i am older than the world is different
and they were just never fairies at all
it seemed to be such a small small place back then
when you could always cheat at LIFE
and run away and play pretend
in your imagination
didn't have to listen to anyone
now cops and parents hate you
and everyone wants to know
what college you've been in cause
surviving is neither irony nor blessing today
just simple catastrophe and endless dissarray
Aug 18, 2013
Aug 18, 2013 at 1:33 AM UTC
…But you suddenly turn the eyes, dreaming of a long forgotten lore about sails and the glorious ocean. Maybe the mighty heavens above dismiss you into a complete, perennial dissarray of moods. You gaze above, the blue dome above you staring back down, solemn and absent, appathetic, yet hardened with eyes petrified in iron justice; spears of the coldest grey stone that quash the will into bitter dust. You have sinned, and you must pay the price of transgression.
Clutch, no thinking, clutch onto the cliff, quit your pondering, and clutch for dear life unto the grey stone, it is your pondering that will cause your eventual downfall.
Look above: the oceanic heavens, of a mighty azur beckon you!!!
Yes, they beckon for you, oh, prodigal son, fallen Icarus, dare to fly again, dare to spread your wings and soar into eternity, become lost with perpetuity above, in the skies above, above, and towards the great beyond!
Beyond!
Beyond!
Beyond!
Beyond!
Beyond!
For beyond is where you will find peace amongst all things eternal...!
I am.
Nov 12, 2011
Nov 12, 2011 at 1:54 AM UTC
I walk through the flame
With a torch
Scorching
Heat rises
While the Sun sets
Scolding Iron
Black burns
From the white hot
Esteemed
The bloods boiling
About to erupt
And rupture
The surface
Earth is
Perfect
For destruction
I get to choose
Shall I just quake
And make shook?
Or just break
And make soot?
To explode
Or stay put?
I can enter
As emperor
Ashes and embers
In the center of
Cinders
I stood
Like a cintaur
I was sent for
Tinders and timber
Fire from the heavens
Rays
To dissarray
I can reign
In array
In a way
That braises
Those in the way
I rose
At dusk
As dust showers
A presence with
A towering essence
I reckon
My wreckage
Has a message
Make haste
Or you will ruin
My hue in tune
With my shoes
Blues tone
Tutone
My red bones
Wouldn't break
If you through stones
Whose on?
Rock solid boulder
I smolder
I decide
When to explode
I can mold
Or stand bold
My manifold is manifested
In my crest
The formation maker
of multanimous nature!
I decide!
Devastation
Or Resignation?
Devise a planetary Invasion
or
Reassign my placement?
I think this nation
Is destined
To be the destination
For infestation
Sep 30, 2010
Sep 30, 2010 at 12:37 AM UTC
When will they realize that it doesn't matter
that their pessimisticality will only drive them
down dead ends
into enclaves of nothing but missery and dissarray
When will they realize that bestowing discomfort upon a fellow human
is equivalent to cruelty
and that exclusion is as frowned upon as forgetting your mother's birthday
When will they realize that insincerity is our biggest enemy
and that lies are merely self inflicted vitriol
when will they realize that they were wrong
evey time they called me weak
When will they realize that I have risen above being hurt
by their malice
but that I haven't risen above forgiveness and respect
and honor
Perhaps commencement from all but them
will bring me to a state of eternal satisfaction
but I can never forget the mayhem that they brought me
every day, when all I ever did was live
Aug 17, 2014
Aug 17, 2014 at 6:47 PM UTC
When each second of holding
Is holding too long
I change myself to the perfect night
For what's already gone
You would laugh it off and say
Its already done
But I hear the haunting remnants
Of the saddest song
How can I be strong?
How can I be strong?
The subtle dissarray
And what my life's become
When each bitter drop of black
Night that lingers on
And keeps the stars from meaning
And keeps me from the dawn
How can I be strong?
How can I be strong?
This creeping loss of feeling
And what my life's become
Sep 14, 2016
Sep 14, 2016 at 7:36 PM UTC