she hurts 
she hates
but she hates herself more than the people around her
she has done too much
she feels like a dissapoinment to her family
who has tried for so many years to help this dissapoinment 
and what has she done 
more than she should
but i cant continue to fight
when i keep loosing
to this pain 
inside my heart 
that ive gotten too good at hiding
until i have had enough 
and it all comes out 
in the ******* things i do
that i cant stand 
but the pain inside me has gotton so bad
i do whatever the **** i can 
so i can get through the pain 
not my life