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Cné Jun 2018

Laying in bed all day  
with silky thoughts
in a champagne haze  

An empty glass of water
rests barren on the floor
her eyes light up
as he enters
through the door

With every stride
across the room
whispered lyrics
begin to bloom
In an encore
from the night before
in her memories
now begins
a brand new score  

Thrums echo
as the rythmn keeps
time inside each beat
slight murmurs crescendo
and a long symphonic
overture erupts

He draws his notes
in the cream of her curves
Dismantling her inhibitions
soothing her nerves

Tongues in a waltz
senerading to thunderous beats
in a rhythm more shattering
than the rolling waves of the Sea

Lights flicker
as his eyes roll
visions  of grandeur
in tow breathless
they gasp for air
not wanting this moment
to soon disappear

Driving urgency tenderly drizzle
ending one where the other begins
melting in the stillness  
of tangled bodies and limp limbs

Thank you TSP it’s always a pleasure collaborating with you!
Wordsmith Sep 2018
She seems pretty queer
Yes she does
Something odd
Something peculiar

Is it in her insouciance
Is it in her audacity
Is it in her pirouettes
Spun with such vivacity

Is it in her defiance
Is it in her nonrepentance
Is it in her reveling so free
A form full of glee

Sometimes impetuous
All times ingenuous
Aflame with passion
An immersive intoxication

Cracking down on this mystery
A perplexing dichotomy
Let's remove the misfitting pieces
In sync with commonplace notions

Alas what dismantling of a girl
at peace with her pieces
What uprooting of a girl
at home in her body
Kara Jean Jun 2016
Holding the mirror as it cuts me,
young distorted beauty.
I hear the lurking as you say,
"Hello It's me your guilty friend,
I've come uninvited moving in."
Slowly eating away my body until I disengrate.
Perhaps you may think you have the superiority over me,
Dismantling me taking away my abilities.
Sadly, you do not know the perseverance and **** stubborness fighting in me.
Good bye anorexia.
I struggled with an eating disorder  for many years. I'm now recovered and this me is conquering one of my demons.
jane taylor Jun 2016
born in illusory chains
gnarled metal
encrusted in my broken skin
the copper colored dust
of rusted steel
infectiously envelopes

shaving off antiquated layers
of fundamentalist religion
encrusted for generations
unpeeled until raw
an unsophisticated method
ancient lodged glass shards
colored with deceit

brought before their court
unfathomably skewered
an eerie salem witch trial
in modern times

barbarically they shun me
i wander aimlessly
smelling the rotten decay of deceased community
as splinters pierce my feet
from the crooked wooden plank
i walk alone now

an unfathomable inner ache
kindled a residue within
igniting a wildfire from the darkest shadows
uncontainably erupting
i dance savagely
naked in the orange moonlight
and in every shaded edge
lit my soul ablaze

i am a nomad sheep
‘tho not one of their color
no pasture to contain me
no shepherd i can follow
theological safety nets
no longer there to catch me
i plunge

free falling
stripped wide open
reverses gravitation

i soar amongst
apricot tinged clouds
my skin still wet from rebirth
and rise with the flaming coral sun

you cannot destroy me
i twisted in your decrepit pencil sharpener
and with fresh mettle
cut through the chains that bound

you can have my ego
but you cannot have my soul

dismantling domestication
transcending limitation
wildly untamed
i fly

my husband and i left the mormon church and lost many friends, family, and community
Alyssa Underwood Jul 2017
There are times when the Lord will take from us every familiar thing and send all the others away to have us to Himself, uprooting and dismantling our earthly anchors until we find no safe place of attachment but to Him alone. And though we search feverishly to secure another, He will faithfully cut off our efforts at every pass and every attempted by-pass, almost as though we could see them being escorted out the door, marching one after the other in file and possibly taking our sanity with them. “No, not another one! Where are they all going and why am I not invited?” But it is His alone to give or not to give, to give and take away.

The One Who took up the cross and took the cup of the Father’s wrath for us has the absolute right to take anything and everything from us at any time for whatever reasons might please Him. But know this for certain: concerning His redeemed, those reasons will always involve two things—glory and intimacy. They are the overriding answers to every lingering question of “Why?”.

But if we fail to understand His glorious and intimate intentions we may misconstrue our losses to be a sign that He is actually withdrawing His affection from us. The very things which He is doing for love’s sake to perfect our pathway to intimacy might be taken instead for obstacles blocking it, causing us to doubt His love. We could not be more wrong, but sometimes it's so hard to see through the veil of pain.

For it's a strange and bewildering thing to feel that you belong to no place and no person in this world, to have nowhere to call home and no one to share it with if you did. A severe untethering indeed that though meant to prepare us for flying can seem to us more like drowning. The sobering truth is that none of us belong to this life or the things of this earth; all sense of it is only an illusion, and pain and loss are simply the dispelling of the myth—the rude awakening from a bewitching dream we once had. But oh how we fight the disillusionment.

Maybe we remember a time when we had prayed to be refined, to be made more like Jesus, but we didn’t know it would have to hurt so bad and take so long and look so dark and feel so lonely. Even if we have understood and embraced His call to deeper intimacy we may after a while, when nothing seems improved either around us or in us, start to resent our belonging to such a determined and jealous Lover, though He is doing exactly what we had once asked Him to. We may start to think we can no longer bear anything except that which superficially distracts us from our grief. We may even start to give up hope, for if not anchored exclusively “behind the curtain” and if repeatedly crushed it threatens to **** our hearts for good should we have to face one more disappointment.

We may feel very much like we are flailing around in a deep and darkening ocean, repeatedly pulled under by the powerful tow and thrashing waves of overwhelming emotion and continuously knocked back by the brutal winds of confusion. Yet we can still see the unshakable boat of faith and truth standing solidly only a small distance away. We know it is real and that if we could just reach it we would be safe. We hear someone shouting through the din, “Just hold onto the boat! The boat will save you. Look beyond your feelings and walk by faith. Hold onto truth!” But can’t they see that as hard as we may try we have no strength to swim to the boat? Can’t they see that we are sinking?

And so we are left with nothing but to cry out to Jesus, to cry out to Him to bring the boat to us, to come Himself and rescue us. Do we have that much faith? Enough to just say, “Jesus, help me! I’m drowning!”? Enough to see that He is our only hope and nothing else matters apart from Him?

Because when we do, we will understand that this hope in Him alone is the very lifeline by which He will pull us to safety—back to faith, back to truth, back into His intimate arms of love, back into a peace which passes all understanding and into a joy that gives us strength for the journey.

As difficult as it can be in our grief to hear the Lord whispering truth to our hearts above the constant clanging of our feelings, we must now more than ever choose to take the time to be still and seek our soul’s rest in Him and in His promises. But how amidst such clamor and confusion?

Simply decide to cast your cares on Him, if only for the moment, by climbing into His Shepherd’s lap to look and loiter and listen. And if you have no energy to climb up, then just lift your arms and ask Him to pick you up. And if you haven’t the strength even for that, only raise your eyes toward Him and you will soon find your sanity restored as you behold His love for you. Ask Him earnestly to let you see it afresh, for perhaps you have been temporarily blinded from recognizing it.

Stop everything; cease just for this minute from all worry, anxiety, fear and anger. Forget the past and do not look toward the future. Focus only on this moment right now, as if you knew it would be your last, as if it were the very one to lead you into eternity. Inhale like fresh air the powerful promises of God’s Word. Soak in their grace and drink in their healing, keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus’ face. Can you see Him longing for you? Exhale every distraction, conflict and uncertainty of this world. Then listen... What is He saying to you right now? Wait for it, then let your soul rest in it, and let go of everything else. Rest in the grace of this present moment and in His strong, sure arms. Let Him take care of you, wounded one, for you are His beloved, and He longs to tend your broken and needy heart.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
    my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
    He is my fortress, I will not be shaken."
~ Psalm 62:5-6

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
    my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
    and I have been saved from my enemies.
The cords of death entangled me;
    the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me;
    the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the LORD;
    I cried to my God for help.
From His temple He heard my voice;
    my cry came before Him, into His ears...
He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
    He drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
    from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
    but the LORD was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
    He rescued me because He delighted in me."
~ Psalm 18:2-6,16-19

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf..."
~ Hebrews 6:19-20a
Loser Feb 27
While dirt piled beneath my nails I clawed at your grave all night,
breaking my back until your blackened and dismantling coffin was in sight.

The weeds circling your tomb stone danced without appearing mundane,
as the freezing wind called to you, howling out your name.

I pried open your wooden door that had been etched with two dates,
and I knew that what had happened to you would soon be both our fates.

I thought back to the day when I found out you took your life,
and with hopes of mimicking you in sorrow, I keep a gun to my side.

Slowly I crawled in next to you, with just enough room for two,
and I looked up beyond the trees and saw a sky painted dark blue.

And in this moment at last, I felt completed by your side,
then I shut the door, pulled the trigger, and never said goodbye.
zebra Apr 2018
i could taste her with my fingers
feel her sweltering tongue
like a red field burning
until our lives fell to snow
grottoes icy labyrinth
dismantling us
a bone at a time

we studied each others
shifting decrepitude
watching each other rot
naked, twisting to white ashes
like a fiction of flickering transparencies
drawn faces ***** downwards
every day
a dark-eyed Halloween
and i cant hear her voice

still a giddy pig
with **** talk
floundering in the mud
laughing about death
my heart is a secret terror
my breath tangled in your words
every syllable like a pound of grain
breathing black pebbles

I'm facing destiny
a dark jazz
like all before me
and you
my beloved
until all is parched dust
one of us still left standing
haunted by the absence of the other
In the midst of all of This dismantling
itself into it's revolting component honesty, I try to remember the way
your arousal changed the hue of the space around you.

Memory or fantasy or dream
or lie or ecstatic state; bottles filled with coloured sand and then sealed up into boxes left by the street.

If only someone could sculpt the dance we do between the moments
of a waking life crystallizing into grotesque simplifications rattling chains in the labrynth we build for loneliness.

I try to chisel some aspect of it into wind and rain.

I try to pick out your breathing
among the howling infinity outside and my edges are reasserted by the glare of life's shadow.

My name is that of any pile of bones ever to have a candal held for it.

My path is undetermined, unfettered from the seething potential beneath all things.

Explode with me.

We can paint the crumbling walls of our illusory disconnection like a drunken Michaelangelo laughing at the absurdity he is a part of.

**** rules, style, message, time, space, words.

**** it all.

Just go mad.
JDL Nov 2018
Our lives are like ocean waves, born of a celestial entity among a diversified sea of possibilities. Direction and intensity set at birth with a future blurred by the endless horizon

Some waves wander alone, losing momentum as they are gradually ushered down by Earth’s gravitational pull before tragically coming to a rest among the blue abyss, destination never realized

Others are born of the unseen violence and upheaval between tectonic plates battling for dominion over the volatile landscape deep beneath the surface. Knowing no other way, they perpetuate the violence that created them, destroying and consuming everything in their path

Yet some join together, superimposed into a harmonious union that multiplies their strength and propels them forward until it’s waters gently meet the shore in an actualizing marriage of journey and destiny

Storms often boil up out of nowhere, dismantling adjacent waves. While a select few resist the onslaught, instead gaining strength and vitality. Like a conductor bringing a symphony to crescendo, the roil pushes these waves further than others in pursuit of their destination

This dynamic tapestry of new beginnings and violent ends blend together as one, eroding and shaping the land around them as they work out their daily squabbles. Heads barely above water, they continue onward towards the horizon blatantly disregarding a future for which they create
Dante Prince Feb 2
Dismantling mind
Meat dangles from strings
Sockets of acid
Centered emptiness
Unrepairable shards
Left still gasping
The vultures peck
Skin crawls
Silent screams
These beasts who feast
Is the company
How the Hell did I get here
This is wrong
Wrote this while driving and not watching the road or caring if I hit a tree.
Classy J Dec 2018
If I told you how I truly feel
Would run or stay real?
You say you want to help me,
But you can’t seem help yourself.
You say you wanna love me,
But don’t seem to love yourself.
Rotten flesh yet we think there’s nothing wrong.
Got the leprosy, yeah I’m literally falling apart.
Crying loudly, so how can I stay strong?

You know what I see?
When I see you?
I see a broken vessel trying to be a castle.
I see a child that was put through growth spurt!
Way too **** fast!
I get your intention,
But what I long for goes beyond affection.

Verse 1:
I need a new heart,
For it has been shattered!
Emptied hollow, bruised and battered!
Couldn’t weather the storm, my pride is tattered.
Feeling nothing! Saying nothing!
For how can I explain this constant feeling?
It’s as if I was not breathing?
It’s as if my mood swings are triggered by invisible beings!
One moment I’m smiling, the next I got a knife gliding across my wrist and I’m bleeding.

Bridge 2:
Fake smiles have no meaning,
Supposed happiness is so misleading!
Would you help me find the meaning?
For my emotions are piling?
And my coping mechanisms are dismantling.
And I’m at the cliff now, yet it feels like I’m already falling.

Hook 2:
So, now that I’ve told you how I truly feel
Have you ran away or stayed real?
You say you want to help me,
But you can’t seem help yourself.
You say you wanna love me,
But don’t seem to love yourself.
Rotten flesh yet we think there’s nothing wrong.
Got the leprosy, yeah I’m literally falling apart.
Crying loudly, so how can I stay strong?

Verse 2:
I say I’m fine, but that's a lie.
I’m just trying to be polite.
For my burdens may just darken up your light.
So I’m sorry but this pain can no longer be confined.
But don’t you cry, don’t you worry, for my mind right now is being dreary.
With clouds forming around me.
Like eeyore, so to help me, can you love me like Winnie the Pooh loves his honey?
I’m not necessarily looking for sympathy.
My tank is just so empty. That needs endorphins to once again be happy.
But until then I put on my...

Bridge 2:
Fake smiles that have no meaning,
Supposed happiness can be so misleading!
Would you help me find the meaning?
For my emotions are piling?
And my coping mechanisms are dismantling.
And I’m at the cliff now, yet it feels like I’m already falling.
They profit on your silence, and foster insanity
To reef your identity, and fade you to normality

Control is an abortion of instinctual fundamentality
They blind us with a bleach of hypocrisy to fade us to their normality

Gather once in number, to support the dismantling
Fate of compassionate and empathetic rationality, is threatened by a lie of social justice in pronouns and prejudice

This is an infection of our political mentality,
to allow other views to be heard only if they align within sheepish bounds of radicality

Neo-**** Ideology. What insanity
Can’t let it fester, or our dignity will be the fatality

Disgusting to muzzle those who believe differently
As long as it’s not hate, preach what you practice
thesa Feb 19

irritating dismantling

it is pure chaos
within an ordered mess
it is deadly vivid
leaving me obsessed

poetry is art
art is poetry
what am i aiming for
how come i can't see
what i 'm chasing

breath hasten
thoughts loosen
words crafting
pen moving

this blank sheet
i fill up with my fear
nothing artistic
rather sadistic

tell me
how many poems
does my pain demand
to sometime
sound like art
Graff1980 Sep 26
I have been wrong many times,

and in them shaken to awaken
to some higher elevation.

I have been confused,

seen shadows stew
and my sense of understanding
require dismantling
and rebuilding
with scraps that I have
never even seen.

I have been growing

physically, emotionally,
and intellectually
expanding and receding
as if my existence
was captured in a cycle
of needing deep breathing,
of losing and replenishing,
Of seeing
then being blinded
just int time
to open my mind
and see once more.

Above all else
I have been changing,
into someone else.

— The End —