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ryn Oct 2014
Since you've been away
I've trailed the wake of the clouds
Just crumbling clay...
That lay in the shade that enshrouds
Depending on the ifs and mays.

   Wake up, my love...
Since you haven't been here
The sky did nothing but only sang
Ambient translations of mocks and jeers
As the green blades of earth bared their fangs
Mischievous songs that I've held dear.

     Wake up, my love...
Since you've been gone
I've realised that I'm not moving
And you too, haven't moved since last dawn
A reality all too disheartening
Bits of me all cut up and sawn.

         Wake up my love...
Since you've been missing
I am never whole, and never will
A lifetime of endless chasing
Bottomless jar without a seal
Void clustered emptiness in need of filling.

            Wake up, my love...
Since you've been absent
I could only hope for this lungful
To lead me to subsequent
Ones that taste like bitter pills encapsuled.
Mind full of drugs running rampant.

               Wake up, my love...
Since you wouldn't have known
What these days are like...
Time induced tumours have grown
The hours impale with temporal spikes...
Inseminating malignant thoughts soon to be sown.

                  Wake up, my love...
Since you've been away
I'm a player hoping for a fair game
Nonetheless still crumbling clay...
That lay in the dark just the same
Choking on the what ifs and what mays.
Wake up....Me...
Laura Robin Nov 2012
this door exists,
stately and staunchly it stands,
disheartening and terrifying it remains.
the door is unlocked, yet cannot be opened,
for in it, a path in time...
one decision that can affect everything
[such as my choice to wear the necklace you adore,
which lead to you noticing me for the very first time,
or my idea to play you the song that you fell in love with,
which i can no longer listen to]
...for in this door, one path
is intimidatingly located.

every bone in my body,
every last muscle, tendon, ligament
each artery, each vein, each capillary
every single nerve,
even each microscopic cell,
implores me not to open this tempting door...

[it is almost as if my hand refuses to grasp the handle,
to unleash the unknown upon me,
the colossal chain of events that would ensue]

the immensity of the unfamiliar,
the unexplored,
tends to perturb me.
change is unnerving
and is almost as chilling
as an abandoned graveyard at midnight.

but i bring my mind back to the door,
yes! this preposterous door that i have contrived for myself.
why is the **** so easily turned?
why does it not put up somewhat of a fight,
at least jolt me suddenly,
as to frighten my curious heart?
it is a constant battle between my body
my mind
and my heart
as to which doors to open
and which ones to leave ever so steadfastly closed.
but never once has there been such a struggle
for them to reach an understanding.

somehow my heart,
[even though a fraction of me,
a fist, dripping in blood]
is prevailing for the moment.
my heart reaches for the handle,
attempts to unclose the door...
yet, with the best of its ability,
withstanding my strong-willed
and obstinate heart,
my powerful body and commanding mind
overcome this hostile takeover,
and the door remains shut.

it is my body,
my skillful mouth,
my soft, rose lips,
my elegant tongue,
and my vocal chords...
all of these pieces must
contrive the words,
conceive the change,
which will unveil the path that will forever alter us...

slowly, opening the door.

being as in love with you as i am,
i will not let you slip away from my arms right now.
but when we are not together
[i wish you’d have been there,
i needed you there
]
i stare at this humbling door.

if i wait too long, i’ll forever lose you;
for it is you who will make this choice for me,
opening your own door, fearless and dauntless.
Disheartening news-
Shattering what implications of light had found its way to my center-
The foolish believes I gained in regards to the merging of lives
I see your incomprehensible pain
I feel the horror in your eyes
I will do all I can-
For you
For them
To reassemble the ashes of your hope that has been carried away in the wind

(C) Tiffanie Noel Doro
Kennedy Taylor Dec 2014
We’ll meet again some day, once again as strangers.
We might talk for a bit,
maybe even pretend like we don’t remember what happened.
Maybe we’ll run into each other in a coffee shop,
you with your new love and me with mine.
We’ll act like old friends should,
but your familiar face won't carry familiar feelings.
To know I've been replaced is disheartening.
To think about what we once were makes me wistful.
It’s even more sombering to think of what we are now, strangers.
How is it that someone who once meant so much can become nothing more than a stranger?
Emotions are now rendered into nothing but memories.
Memories are now distorted from hopeful wishes.
Hopeful wishes are now abandoned like a coin into a wishing well.
Yet even after everything that happened,
I can’t help but hope that somewhere, somehow,
We’ll meet again some day, once again as strangers.
A ball player and a thief
Will likely be pregnant by age 16.
Lives in the ghetto and is poor,
Often identified as a *****.
Runs fast and does drugs,
Hangs around with gangsters and thugs.
Has a gun or a friend with one.
Speaks in slang, must be part of a gang.
Mess with her, she'll pull a Sharkeisha on you.

If you were to picture a person of any race,
That fits the description that just took place.
A baller and ****, hmm... what race matches that?
Yeah you're right, that person is probably black.
Is fast, does drugs, and speaks with slang?
Lemme guess, is he also in a gang?
A young mother who is also poor?
Bet she doesn't know who the dad is, what a *****.
All these negative stereotypes associated with being black.
Its disheartening, sicking and its really sad.
And whats sadder is that if you are the opposite of all of that,
You are often told that you're not really black.

Does your skin colour change for going to Harvard?
Will it change for speaking like an English scholar?
Because I play hockey and not ball, does that make me white?
So what if I'm the type of person to run away from a fight?

You don't have to be irresponsible and rude to be considered black.
It's your ethnic background that determines that.
And to some people, all we are is the complexion of our face.
Light, dark, somewhere in the middle, to some, the bad of a few defines
our whole race.

Does running away from a cop, and being black give someone grounds to shoot?
Why is it that my skin color is what is most important to you?
Is asking a question when getting arrested for no visible reason really resisting arrest?
Does struggling to break free from restraints to catch my breath, give someone a reason to grab on tighter to strangle me to death?
The actions of a few don't define the actions of a whole group.
And this assumption that all black are thugs, thieves and liars has done clear damage to,
Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin and so many more.
They didn't know it, but just by being black, they put their lives at risk when they stepped out their door.

Don't you think it's gotten too far when we have to prove Black Lives Matter, or when we the saying of a movement is Hands Up, Don't Shoot.
Should people have to be reminded that blacks are real people and that our lives matter  too?

We are athletes and musicians.
Lawyers and physicians.
The leader of a nation.
An anchorman of a news station.

We don't all fit into that mold that is preset for us.
You can and should expect great things of us.

Because we don't have to be a ****, or a baller to be considered black.
We define what type of black person we are, we determine that.
Aaron McDaniel Oct 2012
Two teens with too much time left to themselves
Both experiences represented by flat lines on hospital machines during sad times
Flipped on it’s *** end quite literally
My youth is my virginity
Finding religion suddenly
Praying in my head “God, if you exist, don’t let the ****** break”
Her face in angst
I begin to flake
Spine reverberates
Elbows Shake
Bedside table vibrates
Text message
Receiving
Mom: When will you be home
Response: I won’t, I’m leaving my old self on these bed sheets
Send
My youth is my virginity
Time becomes an illusion
Not knowing how long we’ve been doing this
Minutes become seconds
Seconds to years
Years are months
Months.... minutes
I alone finish
Quickly getting dressed separately
Previously so ecstatic to slowly peel each others layers away
An eternity of silent eye contact jam packed into countless repetitive heartbeats
A mix of misinterpreted expressions cross our minds as we sink into the realization that we are no longer children
Our youth is our virginity
Your inner thighs have defined the ending milestone of my childhood
In return I thank you and grace you
No other person I’d rather have that connection with
Though we’ve long departed, our current standing is disheartening
Let’s give birth, not to children, but to friendships
I want to to represent my life with a cobblestone road
Being able to get to the end to find success, not regrets
I hand you the first stone
sunprincess Feb 2018
Wizard, oh wizard to whom should I cry
If I cry not to thee
My friends all say, So disheartening
and certainly it is,  I so agree
Truly sad Wizard, when I should say
Our leaders should bow their head in shame
Yet, we know they aren't to blame,
knowing majority of homes,
businesses and government institutions
Have way much better security
than America's school system
Alicia Feb 2015
done with the I miss you flu
the sickness of the sickest
done with take me back river of tears
white water rafting right out of this place
done with blood stained dager stares
going blind to every promise you made me
done with every part of you
consider me gone
I S A A C Dec 2022
blindsighted
i've stopped trying
this whole time, you were a fraud lying
blindsighted
i'm done crying
these bold lies, you were a fraud hiding
snake eyes, snake lips
jealous, bitter, narcissistic scripts
sweet nothings, fake adoration
this i could never predict
Temitope Popoola Oct 2013
I don't know what you could call this exactly,
I was at a musical concert in one of the states
And a school filled with children of less than 13 years of age
Presented a song which I could call a petition.
They were praying earnestly for God to save Nigeria
From lawless people, bloodshed, assassination and a list of other wreckless things
It touched me that finally, it has gotten to this! When children start to file a petition to God against our leaders saying for their sake God should save the nation
It's a bit disturbing that even the kids know that there is a problem with this nation.
Do we have to ridicule ourselves forever? The children who were in the ***** and groins some years back have come to understand the situation and are crying out.
The educational standard is falling to pieces and the threads would have to be carefully woven together if we wanna make something out of it again.
It's embarrassing to know that there are so many sectors that has failed, absolutely nothing is working.  
Our leaders still apportion blame. Roads are not good and then you get to hear one is a federal road one is state owned. Does it matter who owns the road if it is in their country?
Why aren't everyone looking beyond their noses and see what's wrong. Our youths have resolved to fraud when hard work and talents aren't appreciated.
Universities have been shut down for months now in the name of strike and the government officials could afford to eat and carry on their daily activities!
Aren't they meant to be in the hospital, complaining of one illness or the other as a result of the unrest the matter has caused? Disheartening! Even the hospitals go on strike and innocent people are left to die as a result of no medical attention.
I was moved to tears when these children sang. The nation's unrest and matters have become prayer points in all places of worship. God should indeed look down from His throne, have mercy on us and save Nigeria!
The children sang this word
"God save Nigeria
God save Nigeria
From wicked people,
From bloodshed,
From assasination,
From lawlessness,
For the sake of the children oh Lord,
Save Nigeria. "
Jordan Harris Jul 2014
Another slimy page absorbed by gentle, tender hands
Another reality channel infected by impossibilities
Another grainy film shaded by green to hide the truth

All eyes are glued to these perfections
Simple utopias I can never be

Her hair, his eyes, their laugh, that smile

How disheartening it is
for my friends to say one word
when the tags on my clothing say another

A dent here, a scar there, a bulge elsewhere
hips too wide, skin too rough, hair too straight, eyes too red,
toes too small, nose too big, scar too dark, skin too light
My entire being is stitched together faults

So my eyes burn as yours shine
I guess it is yet another imperfection

But then again, are the blemishes even mine?
Just Melz Feb 2015
Let me be
Don't ask if I'm okay
My depression
Defines me
Nothing you can say
Will make me truly happy
It's disheartening
Of that I'm aware
But truth is
I don't really care
Nothing against you
But it seems to be
That being blue
Makes me happy
Do you remember when you thought you loved me?

The confused expression on my face must’ve been disheartening

I didn’t understand
You were so beautiful
So smart
So absolutely amazing

I was just a girl
Riddled with scars
Afraid of failure
Already burnt out

It killed me when I realized
You weren’t in love

You were exposed to so many unattainable expectations

It wasn’t love
It was hope of love
Hope of at least meeting expectations

You were already flying above expectations, my dear

I love you
Critisizm is welcome, I want to get better. Just don’t be unnecessarily mean please.
Asim Javid May 2015
Growing Old is so disheartening
filled with too much stress, perplexity and charade.
Getting older made me to envision the malice in society
and the world we live in, which is
full of rapacious and self-centered human beings,
lack of compassion and division of people
on the grounds of ethnicity,
economic inequalities .
I have realized that childhood is the prime phase of life,
where worries were the least ,
and i was  ignorant from the cruel facts of life.
I wish i was just a child and had not been
exposed to cruel facts of life.
jonchius Sep 2015
lamenting out loud
incoming funk lords
remembering ambient illhueminati
using wrong account

applying lexical snobbery
"using arcane diction
during bamboo surplus"
sinning and redeeming
enjoying manufactured existence
struggling but whatever

transfigurating xenocryptic renderings
scheming paroxystic shipwrecks
dispensing xylophonic wainscotting

revolving number plates
disheartening star charts
upgrading defenestrated system

observing new alphabet
amplifying celestial explosions
trippifying schema migrations
deregulating various economies
befriending code snippets
writing excess minutiae

effulging caffeine consumption
rebuilding grandiose protectorate
uniting our caliphates
collecting projected change
kettling ostalgie hues
collapsing second-world references

traumatizing unrequited follow
making baseball analogies
surveiling little sheep
awaiting various answers

deleting defaced tweet
exciting times ahead
downloading panda consciousness
capitulating rising stellation
the first half of August 2015
Not unlike the monster for which it was named,
With debaucherous whims that divide foreign lands;
Here at the briny, gilded portal to our home now stands
A hollow woman with a torch, whose warmth
Has become faded and disheartening, and her name
Mother of Philistines. From her once guiding hand
Emerges world-wide distaste; deranged eyes ransack
The smog-filled harbor that dystopias fame.
“Keep, other lands, your progressive pomp!” shrieks she
With welded lips. “Take our tired, our poor,
Our huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of our teeming shore.
Take these, the homeless, tempest-tost from me,
Lift your lamp as a guide and take them all!”
An adaptation of "A New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus, the poem inscribed at the base of America's Statue of Liberty.
Tina Fish Jun 2013
Senseless living in Beirut. Disconnected from routine, from drama. Disconnected from passion and compassion in a stagnant, stagnant, stagnant place. No reassurance for tomorrow, and definitely no reassurance today.

And it all sounds so disheartening, even to yourself. So you put those thoughts on a dark shelf, resting in the cavities of your mind, only to find them oozing out again.

Making arms feel heavy. In a city that’s the perfect size for strolling every step feels like a chore. Like why’d I walk out here on the streets for? There’s no room for me. Too many holes in the street, and I wore these sandals coz they feel light on my feet, but they keep ripping. Dog ****, low-class spit, and high-class ****. It’s **** I tell ya. No room, nothing.

Unless you’re on a list. Then you’ll find endless place for you, and mix with commoners on the dance floors. Rub shoulders with those struggling artists and hidden talents, photographers and such. More images, much.

But still that’s not enough…. if you happen to make it, that is… still not enough. Because that kind of comfort is tough on the soul, and it hurts that you didn’t just go home and save it. You know, save your money, save your time, save your self. Not become someone else. Not finish the night rolled up in bed and thinking over those million things you said, was that the right thing? Perfecting social awkwardness by living it again, but alone. Just let it go, the past is dead.

You think, ‘let me think.’ Let me sink into the things that stimulate my mind, that I find interesting, revealing, revolutionary. And re- re- the process. Reanalyze in a new frame of mind. This isn’t that time, it’s now. I’m all so much more grown up. I can deal with the higher material. My envelopes carry essays, and my mirrors reflect mantras. I use my blade to cut Mongolian chicken.  A unique recipe I found on Pinterest. I’ve got several blogs I read…I’m sure you don’t know them, they’re avant-garde…and I dedicate a hard process into selecting the right documentary, something that’ll illuminate me further. We apply this fervor into knowing more, only to realize how little we can move with that knowledge.

Killer of dreams, Beirut is. This murderer of hope. Like even if you got home, and plugged that DVD in to get your mind off with a laugh and a lay, the electricity finds its way to blast through and ruin a perfectly good evening for you. See it was feeding off your ****** energy and ran a little too highly, and now your wires shot. And somehow it burned through your generator heart. Could we somehow spark the cables with some electricity again? I don’t know…let’s check the trunk for monkeys.

Senseless. Not seeing, not feeling, not tasting, hearing, or smelling of sense. Honestly, just pushed beyond the limit of decent respect. Rather ******, crass, crude, no sense to reason, only nonsense, like gibberish, a terrible two tantrum, nothing to pacify, no milk of poppy or anything else. The alcohol is hit so we can’t rub teething gums. Instead plastic BB guns, manufactured with lead, which I’ve read shouldn’t be given to children under the age of two. But still, this is what we do in Beirut.

I want to root for a winning team. Something that’ll keep me on the edge of my seat so I can leap at the final score. Give me a winning team to root for. Instead divided, and individualistic, the secret to the American dream, that didn’t seem to work. Or collective, and fanatic, fundamentalist and bat-**** problematic, because of loss of self. Now, what’s the fun in that? If those are the teams, don’t put me up to bat. Let me stand in the back, and please pick me last.

Senseless and fast. Each day merges into next, and Lebanon is an eternal vacation. Cheap time chalets and happy time oil rubs. Under setting suns that morph into other ones, instagrammed and timeless on HD…not very revolutionary if we think within the context of things. But still, we never seem to, think.

Rather reignite the old patterns of thought. The ones that brought pearls and Switzerland’s, French nights and Brazilian beats. Ones that won’t have us marching on streets, but rather cater to the revolution of our hearts. It’s called the revolution of love. But I hope you don’t mind I’ve forgotten my glove in the other room… don’t worry baby…I’ll pull out if I feel that I’m cuming too soon… uh oh…(boom).

Was that a bomb? Or fireworks coz we were looking in each other’s eyes? Hide nonsense with senseless pastimes, de-synthesizing further. Falling deeper into this cataclysmic abyss, that leaves no space for sense.

Give me a tissue to wipe it. Clear it away. There’s another day starting and I want to forget that even happened. That I tapped into something and remembered to care. That would make no sense, it’s senseless back there.
Shiny Star Sep 2018
My world had turned small for some time. For a while, I had a great deal of things that scared me. It was at that time that I and Paul met and become close buddies. I was afraid of dreaming and trusting. I was afraid of giving more and ending up in an inescapable, disheartening web of *******. I was afraid of commitments. He had the same fears. Through the tales that brought about these fears we connected, though I would have done anything for the people I loved even back then. I was blind and overlooking, cuddling with my own insecurities. Things have changed a great deal as I have got on to my next phase of life. Slowly my fears are leaving me. I'm not afraid to give people my all. I'm not scared to love. I'm dreaming with open eyes with only possibilities in mind and a belief in myself of getting  all that  i want. I stand strong for people I love and have comforting words for others too. Upon meeting him after such great changes in my life, I couldn't help noticing how small his mind and heart are for even the people closest to him. I can't close my eyes and overlook now. I don't like him anymore. I might seem like a ***** but I hardly care.
Viral Jun 2016
I'm a tiny twig flowing in a River

Its flow, mighty, powerful, turbulent
I make futile attempts to make my own way
But it's the forces of nature that determine my path
Pushing me, Pulling me at its whim
And yet I have this notion of Destiny
Of a greater calling
A belief or rather a hope for finding
the true purpose for my existence
Perhaps a twig would change the flow of a River
And Perhaps the whole story wouldn't sound as absurd as its pitiful summarization
Yet, nothing is more true, more tangible,
more persistent, more disheartening
than the fact that

I'm a tiny twig flowing in a River
The lines of optimism and wishful fantasy are thin
Nineteen years ago,
I was born to a woman
I've yet to know.
She would holler and cuss me
Up and down,
Beating me into a mist
With an open fist
And her furrowed brow.

I tried to expose her vanity once.
She broke a mirror 
And slit my throat with the biggest shard.
As she did so,
I heard her say
"Toughen up, because this life is hard."

My tears drove the blood off the glass
As I sat flat on my ***,
Reflecting upon who I was
As the mirror foretold
Who I would not become:

A horrible woman
Destroying what she was meant to love.

Now, I sit abandoned in my car,
Low on gas and not going far.
My soul has gone
And passed me by.
O lord,
Am I misery's child?
I still remember what she last said,
Those violent words echo in my head:

”Apologies, but you're no longer our problem.
We held up our end by getting you in debt,
It's not our fault you don't know how to spend.
We at least try to pretend like we care,
But you're so inconsiderate and spoiled.

It's not so hard to get a high paying job,
I've had one here since at least '03.
Seems like you're just pretty lazy to me;
Go to unemployment if you're hungry. 

Don't complain or try to change it,
You shouldn't have been born
If you're not "man" enough to make it.
Millennials like you are all the same,
Getting in the way of my retirement. 

Your generation has really gotten lost,
Homosexuals now have their own **** cause.
They're protesting and lying
Saying that the world's dying,
I really don't have time for all their *******. 

Now I guess it's time for you to go,
Have fun being homeless and broke.
I wish I could see the look on your face
When your world crashes down
And your sanity faces extinction."

My existence is a heavy one,
But I simply can't resist
The burning temptation
To look back and reminisce 
On how much of my childhood I miss.
The toys were for playing,
Sick days for faking,
And holidays lushened my savings.
The world was full of wonder
As well as excitement,
Nothing could pull me under
Or tamper with every precious moment. 

Hindsight is 20/20,
But nostalgia is more a rosy haze.
That's why I know that with 
Every jolly laugh or hearty smile,
My parents beat me down
So that I'd forever stay mild. 

The scars in my psyche still mix
With what I want to believe
My past really is,
But time has taught me
That wishing for a better past
Won't help us save the future.

I read a poem many years ago,
It's message of hope and freedom
Seems to have gone the length it could go.
Feeling the author's ethereal dismay,
I adapted it to our modern age:

Not unlike the monster for which it was named,
With debaucherous whims that divide foreign lands;
Here at the briny, gilded portal to our home now stands
A hollow woman with a torch, whose warmth
Has become faded and disheartening, and her name
Mother of Philistines. From her once guiding hand
Emerges world-wide distaste; deranged eyes ransack
The smog-filled harbor that dystopias fame.
“Keep, other lands, your progressive pomp!” shrieks she
With welded lips. “Take our tired, our poor,
Our huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of our teeming shore.
Take these, the homeless, tempest-tost from me,
Lift your lamp as a guide and take them all!”

Heavy as it all may be,
I've witnessed this to be reality.
They drive around
In fanciful cars,
Acting profound
And giving us scars. 

Don't trust them for a minute,
our commanders in chief.
They'll leave you diminished-
Hollowed like Swiss cheese.

My routine now is so hollow and boring,
I've made a list and by god I deplore it:

Awaken
Rise
Walk
Empty
Clean
Kiss
Goodbye
Drink
Eat
Sleep
Aw­aken
Boredom
Silence/Music
Boredom
Loneliness
Sadness
Arrival
Hello
Kiss
Talk
Smoke
Lo­­ve
Eat
Watch
Goodbye
Watch
Smoke
Sleep
Awaken

(Repeat ad nauseam)

At least now that I have a new job
I can feel productive and not be a slob.
Rise and shine, time to cruise away;
Rushing out in the dollar's name
As my life is used in vane
For poor commerce's sake.
"It doesn't matter if your heart aches
Or if tragedy gives you a teary shake
You better not be late
Or you’ll eat from an empty plate
And starve until heaven's gate."

Arrrrgh! I can't bear the aching strain!
It seems I'm stumbling yet again!
My mind is slipping swift-like;
Kindly please step in this time.
Taking a bend distracting the pain;
Faking solace standing in rain.
Let’s sink a hearty round o’ drinks,
Glasses half full with a browned out tint.
Pipes smashed as stability abruptly shatters-
Life’s abashed daze subtly ceases to matter...

But then,
A calming voice
Guided my head
And decided my soul
It was to mend:

"Breathe deep
And digress painfully
As the slow burning march
Of time's progression
Takes your soul."

Then a message that came
From the ether one day
Did tear my soul sore
In a way I cannot explain:

"You can't stay young forever
___

Life will try to leave you behind anyways"

And so, I posed a question most should:
"Why live life if it's joys are no good?"

But ARRRRRRRRGH!,
THE AGONY, THE PAIN
I've suffered so much and it feels all in vane.
Fighting my demons within a cage
While this mounting plume of rage
Boils up throughout my veins.
If I could snap now,
You bet I would.

Learning to live with ancient pains
Scarring my feeble brain
As she soaks in her bloodstain.
If I could snap now,
You bet I would.

Standing out on the edge
Wishing I was dead
As the wind pushes my head.
If I could snap now,
You bet I would.

But my life ain't history
There's still plenty left to see
Like a day when I stand free.
I know I can't snap now,
I've got to see it through
So that one day this tale may reach you.

I'm much wiser now than I was long ago,
It's been 8 months that I've been taking it slow.
If I know anything now, it's that life isn't a trap;
It can be more of a trip if you learn to fight back.
But you have to love yourself first
Here, I'll let you see
The words I wrote for you to read:

"Be kind 
Every time
Your reflection
Meets the eye-

Who you see
May just be
The person
To set you free."

That's all she wrote about her life and journey,
So many times it could've ended with a gurney.
Now take my heed as a call to arms
For our armies are millions thick and much too strong.
Let us relay this message to our tormentors,
Who have ****** at our souls like feasting dementors:

We, The Progeny
Have toiled too long
&
Shouldered too much

For us to deserve
The moniker of
"Children"-

Henceforth,
Call us all "Atlas,"
For we carry your 
Trespasses against this world
Upon our bloodied shoulders.
The adapted poem is based off of "A New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus, which is immortalized on a plaque at the base of The Statue of Liberty.
All other poems and musings in this suite were written by me.
Roberta Day May 2014
I used to think there was something
I dunno, attractive
about disorganization—
a scattered mind, having too many thoughts
to say at once, unable to focus on just
one thing because their attention is caught
by so many things they consider interesting
or insightful—I found it quirky, intriguing; a mystery
to be explored, a mind in need of dissecting
But it’s really more of a burden than
anything endearing, because it’s frustrating
to never feel like your words are correct
or your own, like you ripped them from a book
or only spit them for this poem
it’s disheartening to never be taken seriously
because of how frantically you lose track
of your subject and yourself
It’s shameful to be invaded because of this quirk,
but only for a short time
because the baggage is too heavy
and everybody’s hands are too full
silence
sweet silence
like none other
despite the library door
slamming everytime
someone leaves or arrives

it seems to slam louder
when they leave

i am not perturbed
or distracted, nor am i
expecting not to be

here, alone, surrounded by books,
i just am

lamenting this place not being
as busy
as it should be
who’s fault is that?

celebrating this place not being
as busy
as it should be
guilty as charged

all these faces i see
it’s like a small town here
sometimes abandoned
sometimes inhabited

once again,
i don’t care

how can i?
my head, full of
Aurelius and Bukowski
doesn’t have space to

well, deep down,
i guess i do care
but not as much as
i suppose society begs i
should

how can i?
i’m too busy figuring out
who i truly am
and the books help, Bukowski
was correct, these philosophers are
like brothers to me and i speculate
my deep “connection” to them
to men whom i never met
yet felt more fatherly care from
than my own

maybe that’s the root

sometimes, all this reading begs the question

do i like books
more than people?
or people more
than books?

i think i know the answer,
eureka!

i love books, and individuals alike
i don’t like people
especially when they group up
in congregations and crowds,
strangers in a
can of sardines
with no space to possibly
ever care

only to survive and barely breathe
or to escape such a reality

how could i?
when they don’t
even care for themselves

it’s disheartening, really
to witness such potential
in one soul
and watch it *******
melt away
around his or her friends

around their families’
incessant influence and needs
abusing providers

consumed by their personal troubles and struggles
and vices, infected by the amplification of
a hang out
girls night
boys night
the clubs, the bars
the gossips of nonsense and ****
that simply isn’t their business

sewage

their obvious and yet
radiantly painful,
like a sunburn that isn’t on you
but hurts to look at on someone else,
avoidance of themselves
begging the following:

could these souls spend
an hour, alone, with a book
and paper and pencil?

how could they?

they’d like to, i’m sure,

but hate themselves just enough
to not be able to.

-melancholicreator
i dont know, i was in a mood

enjoy.
Rachel Doty Nov 2014
Once upon a time
There was a girl who dared to dream
In the cold, air conditioned room of reality she sat
For hours on end
Suddenly, her rescuer appeared
Golden yarns of sunshine leaked through the windows,
Wrapping themselves around her,
Pulling her away
In the blink of an eye
She was no longer in the place of gloom
But in a magnificent garden
Where flowers of every kind, like her,
Dared to bloom
She tarried there
For hours, days, weeks
Sitting amongst the blossoms
Admiring them and befriending
The other children who would arrive from their own prisons
Each backstory unique,
Some grotesque, some disheartening
But that mattered not
For the children would wrap their fingers
Around each other's cold hands
And begin again
In this new, dreamlike place
Julia kRu Jan 2010
*

Fishing out words
From the abyss of hum -
Like Odin with the Runes...
Thoughts are sharp swords -
Unfriendly are their croons:
One instant - scattering like crumbs,
Another - warbling in tune

With mixed emotions
And elusive feelings...
Oh, how disheartening sometimes! -
Unveiling their peelings...

(c)kRu, 07.02.-09.02.06
Void Feb 2022
If only they could see the dreams that I see
Maybe they'd support me
I'm writing a book
A concept from 2016
Its a beautiful story
Yet my family and friends are not there for me
Its disheartening to be so passionate about something and feel like it is all for not
That is the curse of a dreamer
That is the curse of a leader
As my dream begins to fade, I won't give in under the pressure this time
This book, I've invested too much time into
This book to me is perfect
I just have to help them see that it's worth it
John Ajaka Nov 2013
I want to tell you about love. What it does to you. How it feels when you’re “in” it. What it’s like to lose it, and what it’s like to have it and not be able to show it, or have it but not be able to share it, because it’s not reciprocated.
Love is a strange thing. It’s probably the only thing that’s very obviously real that we have to question the existence of. It’s the only thing that is answered with “I was, but maybe I wasn’t” when asked “have you been in it?”. It’s compiled of essentially every emotion, it’s horrible, but, somehow beautiful. Anger, jealousy, grief, loss, loneliness are to name a few of the negatives of it. But when it’s returned, happiness, joy, ecstasy, and positivity are what is felt.
Love turns you into a ball of unorganized unexplainable emotions, characterized by a feeling of uncertainty and great need. Love yearns to be reciprocated, that’s all it asks for. Do we all ask for it? Probably not considering some of us throw it away like it doesn’t even exist. But we need it to be reciprocated, maybe not the first time, maybe not the second time, who knows you might feel the truest love you’ve ever felt in your life and you won’t get it back at the twentieth time. Love is cruel like that, kind of a joker of some sorts, and yeah, maybe it’s a ***** for that like our old friend karma, but at least karma is always sent back, what comes around doesn’t always go around in love, and when it doesn’t come back around, it can eat away at your heart like an infection that refuses to go away.
Sometimes, we lose love, we had it and it was amazing, but we lose it, and it’s terrible. It makes you wish you could blow away with the wind, in fact it feels like you are. You feel like you’re hollow inside, as if even the gentle breeze will blow you away. Cold, like your heart has stopped pumping and your body has no choice but to share the temperature of the air around you – cold blooded. Nothing is worth it anymore, and honestly, you feel so dead inside that you choose that to do nothing is better than to do something – nihilistic almost.
But tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never have loved at all, right? To have a deep yearning inside of you that can never be returned by the one you love, that is true torture. You can beat me, you can hold me down, you can leave me to rot in the darkness, but leave me in love and alone, and that is true horror. A sadness that can’t be fixed, and hole that cannot be filled, to be in love and have no one to share it with is what true sadness is compiled of.
Why even love, it’s horrible, disheartening, depressing, saddening, and just plain bad. **** love it’s pretty much the bane of humanity and the end all of happiness. We should all just give up

But no, don’t give up, whatever you do don’t let go, love is beautiful. It’s bad when we lose it, of course it is; losing anything good is bad. Love is difficult, but it makes it special, and when you finally climb your mountain I promise you, you will be happy, you will feel fulfilled and you will never regret having persevered for your happy ending. Go out, don’t give up, find your love and get it, I believe in you, you deserve your happiness, now go get it.
Man Feb 2021
rims rolling, underneath the machine moving
on a path beaten

legs of one leaving, they look good
departing

she had a packet of sugar, what was it
she sought to sweeten

tarter than battery acid, acidic lady
who makes the mood, placid

you try, gathering to go after
to follow this feeling, disheartening

this love was a disaster
but you want more, mayday man
maybe, today
you'll get her
Hal Loyd Denton Jul 2013
The song says your evil like the dark coral reef look to the sea what tomes flow through its
Being the waves are a testament against the atheist claim I can’t see God His word says he has
Made the sand a band that the sea cannot pass you see it right when it is said these proud
Waves all that lies behind them mystery power a true if small encounter with eternity so vast
And unknown truly like the darkness of the human heart the waves desire all land to be a part
Of its greater self unseen must be the reason for such derived pleasure the struggle the failure
The demoralization of the waves as they cross the sand it drains all power and life from them
They only retreat to try again she to stands darkly in the shadows how through time she has
Discomfited so many they knew the feeling of being out of their depth she looks on they feel
Her strong forceful gaze it beckons with identifiable it is calling to your own emotional
Grounding that is similar it goes where light is missing it finds the dark reserves of cautious talk
Occurs plaintive moral diffuse in character readily adaptable to dark and sinister morays
Nothing is as it seems the allure of elusive dreams held such truth and insight only to take flight
With the awaking light possessions assured moments before all but loss now darkness of
Greater depths found under night trees with dense shadows it’s like you’re a windblown sea
Man who has lost your bearings when all was lost there in perfection the light house pierces
Your darkness you’re still lost but hope’s flame has been trimmed desire rises unquenchable
Steady it goes life’s experiences kick in an unerring compass immediate you focus on so varied
And plentiful scenes from your life from the mundane to the sublime you’re vigorous
Entanglements from gentle crackly fire to moments of intense lighting strikes of inspiration
Never are you truly alone how disheartening to this dark witch of night that springs these
Odious traps that speaks so directly of her nature net that flows
Out quietly the dearest hours cool that holds the sweetest flowers in a limbo preventing natural
Death then with her breath of **** frost you succumb to the awaiting bliss you tarried to long
At the window that had her framed not knowing it was and held those unspoken words and
Actions that are taboo a word of caution to anyone who follows the call that induces deadly
Actions that for you are deadly watch and listen and don’t throw caution to the wind when your
Soul shouts retreat to safety when you encounter the midnight stranger
Teo Aug 2016
It's ****** to feel
Like you actually **** at
Your only talent
Ripley Shaine Nov 2013
I don't want to say goodbye;
can we just say goodnight?
Say that we'll see each other once again,
when morning comes to light.
Good-bye sounds irrevocable and disheartening,
but good-night sounds free.
It makes me think of love,
of everything that we've become,
of "don't say good-bye"
and wonderful, wonderful things.
Left Foot Poet Sep 2017
The muse inquires,
knowing that a question such as this is
cannon fodder, an off-the-shoulder-blouse tease,
just a hint of cleavage, a whiff of parfume,
something to make poet sneeze,
ejecting an answering essay
without a clue where to go, but,
now the fifth gear engaged,
compulsion full,
immédiatement, en ce moment, laisser's aller!
and he knows exactly what to say

what if poet possessed a special character,
to define the sadness that reflects that
summer has had its memory card wiped,
and even though today,
will be a Saturday of
jeans shorts, a halter top, sort of day,
the chill of dreaded winter is not coming,
already present and accounted for,
enchanté, déjanté,
has already encased his heart in ice so thick,
that even if poet drank a Joni case
of his fav summer quaff,
un provence rose,
his seasonal loss cannot be overcome,
the summer man~king is dead

all that in but a single character, a precise capture,
a labor and  time saving device, but
a character with no character
for the labor would be love lost

yet you swear by your succinct emojis,
their immaculate efficient composition,
and I would not trade one accidental,
just-slipped-out I love you
even for ten thousand disheartening heart symbols

would you prefer
|£%!<#
instead of:
I love you so much it is
driving me batshit crazy!


I'm stuck with my troop of twenty six
and their multiple endless quilted rearrangements

call me old and out of fashion,
to your question,
this poem is my ask and answered at 5:13am
In Autumn

Mark Irwin
When within ourselves in autumn we feel the autumn
I become very still, a kind of singing, and try to move
like all things green, in one direction, when within ourselves
the autumn moves, thickening like honey, that light we smear
on faces and hands, then touch the far within one another,
something like autumn, and I think when those who knew
the dead, when they fall asleep, then what, then what in autumn
when I always feel I’m writing in red pencil on a piece
of paper growing in thickness the way a pumpkin does,
traveling at fantastic speed toward orange, toward rot, when
in autumn I remember that we are cold-smitten as I continue
smearing red on this precipice, this ledge of paper over which
I lean, trying to touch those I love, their bodies rusting
as I keep writing, sketching their red hands, faces lusting for green.
Lain Ender Oct 2011
I had a guest to dinner,
It was a Nietzch ghost.
The ghost brought with him five volumes,
A stranger barring gifts in the night.
In civility i poured him tea and examined these books.
The first book was a Book of Contradictions.
A book that called for morality and peace,
But it was laid in the path of genocide and hate.
A disheartening tale of the Gott that grew to the point of oppression.
The second book was titled the Tot of Gott.
A book of the slaying of the oppressor.
The fall of the mighty by the disenfranchised man,
In its effort to cover all, the controller spread himself to the point of destruction.
The third book was the Book of Cosmic Emptiness.
A book of a speck, a book of existential glory.
It showed however grand our perspective,
We are small and empty.
The fourth book was a Book of Mirrors.
In it i saw everything and nothing.
The world around me was so clear,
But i knew nothing of myself.
The final book was the most perplexing.
Unlike the book of mirrors it was empty as the “o”.
Page after page of emptiness, lonely of words,
Save the corner of the last page which said “Your Tale”
I looked up and the ghost smiled,
A bizarre smile of accomplishment.
It took Its tea and softly rose, for the door.
It never said a word but why would it.
I wonder what my tale will be.
AB May 2016
It's horrible to realize you're
No different than any one before or after,
For the one you loved.
It's awful to see them
Treat someone else the same way
They treated you.
It's disheartening and heartwrenching
To see them brag about the new person
In their life
The way they bragged about you.

It's terrifying and it hurts so much
For them to show you you're not special
In their heart.
Love is a very finicky thing
Apparently, there is a word for people who like to cover up pain with a smile.
That's such an odd thing to have a label and concept around
Considering how broad the meaning could be.
Are these people simply masochists?
What type of pain are they subject to?
Physical?
Mental?
Emotional?
My body doesn't always know the difference.

But when I think about my personal embodiment of such a concept,
I think of tense social situations.
Either private, or public
With only one other person, or a group
And the smallest tip of the scales has led to,
what was previously,
a tall and solid tower sculptured by your own iron will
Only to be unveiled in all its fragility
as a flimsy stack of paper sheets

Maybe you see your ex-lover are at a coffee shop
And you realize they don't think about you all that much any more
Or maybe they never did
Or maybe they just moved on.

He used to say he saw a universe inside of you
and oh, how he longed to be a part of it.
One day, he could see a future with you
One day.
But just not now.
He lied.

The anger grazes a kiss across your heartstrings
like the most vengeful angel fire
It sends low and heavy static through your bones until waves reach your seasick gut
and all of its contents beg to scrape a way back out of you now.
You're restless jaw flexes
primal reactions lead to feeling far too eager
to latch onto flesh and rip
Maybe you catch your own tongue or cheek in the process
and the blood will taste familiar
and coppery sweet

You're probably enraged.
You feel livid and betrayed and
entitled to their future and love and
at least some sort of explanation.
As if that would serve as sugar
to make the drug taste sweeter on the way down.
But, it does not change what's underneath that loud, hot and passionate aggression.

You're sad.
Your hurt, demanding to be heard.
Your body is carrying weight it wasn't a few moments before
And yet, you have not shown any of this.
You're not throwing a fit,
knocking over ****
or punching him in the face
in the way you really, really want to.
You're not screaming, or crying, disappearing or leaving
in a way you wish you could even more.

Because you may think your first response is more trouble overall if expressed
On some level you don't want to guilt or blame on this person
You may want to make it seem you're in the same boat of composure and indifference.
As if this show of self restraint will change his mind
And he'll come running back to you
As if him being impressed by apathy
and begging forgiveness is what you'd want him to do

No, on some level, its a feeling of embarrassment
and trying to cover up the fact that
four poems and two songs ago you swore
you'd stop having feelings for this boy
That your heart was your own once again,
and no one had a leash to **** you around
one way or the other.

Nonetheless, out loud, you say: "oh."
Because that is a few second window
to wrap all the dread and fury and hyperactivity
the adrenaline has shot into your bloodstream.
The entire world is frantically on full volume
There's a locomotive, crashing against your sternum
every split second
And you have to dye every sun spotted moment with him
In oily black disappointment

"Oh" buys you enough space to find bandages to hide the bruises
underneath your chest
In that "oh" you have compacted all that space junk whipping around and rattling your skeleton into a black hole
that will self destruct and,
hopefully,
collapse all it's contents unto itself

You hold that star sucker in your centre
and you slap a smile on top
You grin in the face of your own pain
Because it is safe, and what is familiar to you.
And you can hold it in a cocoon for protection
until your left alone to bleed
or breathe
or convince yourself this never really mattered.

But for right now, you show complacence in this agony
as not risk any more damage with exposure
Maybe you say something that sounds mature and impartial.
Convince them you are so happy they've had something good come into their life;
Implying that the same has come to you
Something, at the time,
you can't remember is necessarily true or not.

You are insistent not to stir the living creature
wrangled in muscle
sitting atop your lungs
And that grimace is a 'Do not Disturb' sign.

I think "oh" speaks for itself in its pain and simplicity
Its a gasp of pain
And the pause after a blow
The start to so many sentences with no end
And a reoccurring soundtrack to all my reluctant epiphanies
Played on repeat
and more consistently skipping than my lovers.

Disheartening moments like that
serve as uneven pavement I trip over and simultaneously
have gravel split my skin and break my nose on impact.

"Oh" was the delayed fire alarm
to tell you the building has already burnt to the ground.
Come and see the remaining disaster, now that it's over.
Watch helplessly as the building collapses with a whisper.
"Oh."

That is the sound of you hearing part of your friend group
Still hangs out with your local ******
Even after the dam of stories cracked onto their lap
the night they assured you that you had their ear
That they were listening
That someone cared
But now he's a different guy around me,
he doesn't remember it, I swear.

"Oh," is realizing the friend you never quite got the chance to know in school
killed themselves last week.
It's the sound that escapes me, when someone is interested in who I am
Until they realize I'm trans.
It's a noise that gets stolen when people are interested in me,
accept me for being trans,
but leave when I fall short of expectation because of who I am.

There is so much hurt encapsulated in those two letters
one syllable
one sound
for me
It's packed in pearly whites and dead eyes
a shaky wall with a tornado tucked behind.
How can a storm pass so quickly
Without any sign of trouble outside?

Simply put:
I don't want to let anyone know
I would rather be left to suffer on my own
Without any rescue team to disappoint
when they cannot find a single living body
to dredge from the rubble.
~Christi Michaels~January 2015~

We could talk about Us
honest, open, kind
find a mid point
that makes sense
for both Our minds
lay out confusion
smooth it out right
no more discomfort
enveloping precious nights
Our puzzle all in pieces
need to reconnect
find the matching patterns
place them back correct
disheartening
so much anger
beneath the day to day
want Our world right again 
make this heart hurt go away.
take a few steps back
embrace a new fresh start
hope for Our future
things come together
not fall apart


Copyright ©  2015 Christi Michaels
All Rights Reserved.
We Could
there is only one thing ever happening
the mind is essentially just wandering
even though these protopian discoveries
lead us toward disheartening realities
they show us our resistances
to living in impermanence
I just want to stay in bed all day
with satellites circling my head
can we tell the green ones from the red
or have we all just gone astray
would you even try to tell me
if there was something I could say
to alleviate your suffering
nothing, oh well perhaps
that's the most attractive thing
for if we disagree and can still be purposeful
then its possible that we are already free
Katy Owens Sep 2013
O Kypris and Nereids, undamaged I pray you
grant my brother to arrive here.
And all that in his heart he wants to be,
make it be.

And all the wrongs he did before, loose it.
Make him a joy to his friends,
a pain to his enemies and let there exist for us
not one single further sorrow.

May he willingly give his sister
her portion of honor, but sad pain
[ always an astounding action ]grieving for the past
[ breakneck, breath-taking ]
[ calling, crying. Can't. A ] millet seed
[ Disheartening downpour drenches. ] Once again no
[ Enclosed eyes evident, ears extended ]
[ Fatally flawed ]
[ Groaning ground grows grey ]but you Kypris
[ Hell-bent, heavy, hopelessly hurricaning ] setting aside evil [Insubordinately incoherent]
[ Just jolly ]
Derek Yohn Oct 2013
My words are translated Aramaic
to your tender divinity,
a slurred expression of
time immemorial.
Satan visited me profusely
under the guise of
mistrodden eloquence.

     (i can't breathe in this.)

There was a time when
constraints defied my
powers like kryptonite,
when my head was lopped
and guarded with gold eyes.

     (i don't like wearing your mask.)
     (Have you seen mine lately?)

Some days distant on the cold
snow banks, laughing
breezily at easy disjuncture
and spending the better part
of this existence trying to
bleed my fingers dry,

     (We are the finest musicians
     you have never heard of.)

a disheartening side project
placed upon a stone altar.

     (Did you know i was an Aztec slave?)

Complacent and supple we have
lined up longingly for our visions,
but i am next, i am the
lamb, the ambrosia-slicked
path to zen.
i am the lamb...to the slaughter(?)...it isn't going to end well for any of us, i suppose

— The End —