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"disfigured" poems
"Grow up tall, little kid," said grandpa Joe. And so I did. The watermelon grow tall too. The sunflowers look to the sky, keeping their chins up, raised real high. So maybe it's silly, watching grass grow, but if you never try, how could you ever know? So maybe it's crazy, chanting for the rain, but if it never comes, how could I grow the grain? I'd prefer to stare at clouds, than sleep forever like a rock, skidding by life. Why, that would just **** So, if you ask me to leave this here place, you better shove it, before you wake up in an unknown space, tied up with lace, with a disfigured face, completely full of mace, and a strange case of something poisonous.
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May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 1:06 PM UTC
The Farmers Granddaughter
"No! No! This cannot be happening" The words stumbled out as I tried hard to keep the sogged eye from draining My vision became blurrer And blurrer as I turned and run out of the house Grabbing my stiletto as I did Under the pear tree in the garden I stopped And allowed the now heavy eyes To drain the burning water They flow on like pain from broken heart Bitter and hurt Bitter from the disappointment and forlon From a mixture of shock, disbelief and loss Served in a glass of betrayal and a tray of painful regret I raise the dagger in a drunken cognition For my sob now has become the cry of a damage soul A disfigured spirit I can barely hear them from without in the midst of the caos Those little voices in my heard Screaming out at me Hitting hard on the walls of my mind Pushing my conciense "Do it!" one says "It wouldn't solve the problem" the other retorts "But it will end it!" "Leaving bigger problems" The blood in my head boils The heat rising in exponents The tension now causes my whole body to trob To ache My mind cannot hold it any longer The quicker the better I opened my mouth to say my final words But all the came out Was a scream.
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Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 9:41 AM UTC
A scream
A man I once loved told me he wished I “cared more about my body” But I do care I care for every lump and curve as much as I hate them As much as he hated them I remember yearning for puberty A thing to make me tall And thin A biological fix for my PROBLEMATIC BODY Does he know the history? The gain and loss The bullies The pushed-into-puddles The nightmares I despise the power of his lips A lover disfigured That’s the vibe His words birthing a mantra of shame And I’ll never outrun this skin Thirty years later And he’s pushing me into a lake No principal to save me this time No dry clothes He left me years ago Found a much thinner replacement for my side of the bed It’s for the best I tell myself as I drunkenly throw rocks at his window “Don’t think Just eat” Is this just a game I play? Three glasses of whiskey and a Postmate Won’t chase the horror away Momentary pleasure (add guacamole) Is that enough? Will I ever be enough? No I am too much Too much skin Too much softness Too many folds Too much of me is filling up space That’s what they tell me I see the reflection and I hate all of this excess ME “I wish you cared more about your body” What is the remedy? A perfect diet A perfect exercise regimen Pills Sweat Porcelain Think before you speak on a body, sir Because your words alone Have the power to ignite a hell Of The Utmost Destruction His venom is still pulsing through me And I’m burning up I want to escape Crawl out from the water Become pure wind But how do I love me? How do I allow myself to occupy space? To stop hiding from every mirror, every glance at the ocean of my belly? I don’t know I’m not there yet I am on an opposite shore consumed by self-hatred Longing to set sail for somewhere Somewhere I can cherish the secrets that these sacred ripples of flesh hide Where my waistline is a treasure map of my wisdom A place where his words have no power Where I collapse into the sunset and set myself... F R E E
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Feb 15, 2021
Feb 15, 2021 at 11:46 AM UTC
I Care About My Body
A man I once loved told me he wished I “cared more about my body” But I do care I care for every lump and curve as much as I hate them As much as he hated them I remember yearning for puberty A thing to make me tall And thin A biological fix for my PROBLEMATIC BODY Does he know the history? The gain and loss The bullies The pushed-into-puddles The nightmares I despise the power of his lips A lover disfigured That’s the vibe His words birthing a mantra of shame And I’ll never outrun this skin Thirty years later And he’s pushing me into a lake No principal to save me this time No dry clothes He left me years ago Found a much thinner replacement for my side of the bed It’s for the best I tell myself as I drunkenly throw rocks at his window “Don’t think Just eat” Is this just a game I play? Three glasses of whiskey and a Postmate Won’t chase the horror away Momentary pleasure (add guacamole) Is that enough? Will I ever be enough? No I am too much Too much skin Too much softness Too many folds Too much of me is filling up space That’s what they tell me I see the reflection and I hate all of this excess ME “I wish you cared more about your body” What is the remedy? A perfect diet A perfect exercise regimen Pills Sweat Porcelain Think before you speak on a body, sir Because your words alone Have the power to ignite a hell Of The Utmost Destruction His venom is still pulsing through me And I’m burning up I want to escape Crawl out from the water Become pure wind But how do I love me? How do I allow myself to occupy space? To stop hiding from every mirror, every glance at the ocean of my belly? I don’t know I’m not there yet I am on an opposite shore consumed by self-hatred Longing to set sail for somewhere Somewhere I can cherish the secrets that these sacred ripples of flesh hide Where my waistline is a treasure map of my wisdom A place where his words have no power Where I collapse into the sunset and set myself... F R E E
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78
A bird rests its wings On the thin disfigured fingers of The trees branches Reaching ever so helplessly To pull the clouds from the sky And the breeze beats them to the stroke – The wrinkled eyes of the painter grin in an open field With a canvas the bristle has yet to caress Before rolling it up Like a chess mat Or a map He taps it shut like a telescope Departing for home where there is a woman waiting for him To inhale her sweet aroma To swallow the food she’s prepared To delicately draw the hair Falling over her face And tuck it behind her ear And whisper the words And brush her skin with quiet hand-language And he will not be beaten To the stroke (c) 2015
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Mar 25, 2015
Mar 25, 2015 at 6:05 PM UTC
Strokes
*rocks don't care all stubble and stones a difficult geometry so if they don't fit they are hammered and crushed to rubble jammed together to make virile walls and if stabbed with swords care not about torn bellies and broken necks soaking them crimson rust or drowned nautilus beneath the sea humans have futility in common with rocks except that everything girds and gnaws at their belligerent sensitivity all clouded soft towers bi-pedal mortal spires with tender flesh beaten into place lacerated truncated amputees to fit the outer life of status and statues a scandal to the inner coves of self I'm envious of rocks except for moments of shifting watery kisses clamorous for love we remain disfigured terrains hunters of souls balmy unguents while fluctious immolating moons unravel in a hidden grieving oh countenance of apathy only to be more like you a wilderness of stumps and dead rock gods and our aspiration indifference our exit the path of the renunciate a penitence feasting only on futility and the vagaries of spirit*
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Nov 21, 2017
Nov 21, 2017 at 2:36 PM UTC
THE FUTILITY OF ROCKS
Once upon a time There stood a frigid little snowman With finger holes for eyes Which spoke no truth nor lies Two twigs made his disfigured arms And a stoll for keeping him "warm" There he stood with all his smiley charm From the dusk until the dawn! His head covered with dad's old beret And a stalky little carrot nose Oh yes,He was our brave little snowman Who grew as he further froze. Then came the mighty spring Putting our little snowman at risk! And then came the sunshine Leaving only the beret,stoll and the twigs. Months passed by Winter came again And Childern came along With the Brave little snowman!
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May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 8:54 AM UTC
The Brave Little Snowman
The Milk-and-Water School Alas! she would not hear my prayer! Yet it were rash to tear my hair; Disfigured, I should be less fair. She was unwise, I may say blind; Once she was lovingly inclined; Some circumstance has changed her mind. The Strong-Minded or Matter-of-Fact School Well! so my offer was no go! She might do worse, I told her so; She was a fool to answer "No". However, things are as they stood; Nor would I have her if I could, For there are plenty more as good. The Spasmodic or German School Firebrands and Daggers! hope hath fled! To atoms dash the doubly dead! My brain is fire--my heart is lead! Her soul is flint, and what am I? Scorch'd by her fierce, relentless eye, Nothingness is my destiny!
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Photography Extraordinary
**** head, struggling for breath Final hit, before the red Light flashes, warning to stop Over dose, **** the innards She never chose to lose this Battle, between herself & it Where'd she go, lost in space Chasing herself, a dog with his tail Praying to an above, to lead her Straight laced, not swerving off track Please God save me, her last plea Before another day dawns, her final wish Sketcher, tweaker, where's that syringe The lights too bright, reality a curse Rolled up in rehab, another ghetto kid Not this girl, high class, white, moneyed Lost to the night, speed freak, hopeless Drowning in addiction, using again Chemical structures defining her fate Her brain the game Disfigured face, unrecognizable eyes Family love, isn't ever enough Rushed to ER, another broken soul Promises that drugs will save her When only she can ever Save herself This time, she's not another life Lost The Gods sure blessed her, not with Her wish So she's packaged off to rehab The third times a charm, right? © Sia Jane
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Nov 14, 2013
Nov 14, 2013 at 3:11 PM UTC
Rehab
The Serpent squeezes the mundane egg, for a moment in time, …to begin the ages, turn the wheel, and so begin the rhyme, The circus has commenced, a dancing, swirling motion, …a pit of ghastly horrors, seen as a vast deep ocean, …or celestial or cosmic, as some would have the notion. Some of them were large, although some were also small, …and grotesquely figured or disfigured, a scary monster’s ball, …and trudging, stampeding, stomping or slithering down the hall. There they danced, sang or prattled, where giants fought and where they battled, …thunder unto heroes rattled, with awful screams so frightening, and terrifying lightning! Scaly, hairy or feathered, wet and fiery or weathered, …conjoined, twisted or tethered, slithery writhing together, Kingu and his wife, some say it was t’was his mother, …his plan was war and strife, pitting brother against brother, A ******* existence and so morally depraved, …a state of sickly persistence, they found themselves enslaved. Then abounding voice of heaven, that divided night by day, …brought forth a princely king of Luke; the warrior Marduk. Fourteen engaged in combat, the one against thirteen, …and thus aligned with the ecliptic, at night they can be seen,   Sloshing in the Apsu, beaten with the club, …slain and torn to pieces, cutting channels of their blood, A north wind sent them to their places, fixed on Tiamat’s wheel, …and the starry constellations, did Marduk bring to heel.
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Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 5:47 PM UTC
The Order
The Serpent squeezes the mundane egg, for a moment in time, …to begin the ages, turn the wheel, and so begin the rhyme, The circus has commenced, a dancing, swirling motion, …a pit of ghastly horrors, seen as a vast deep ocean, …or celestial or cosmic, as some would have the notion. Some of them were large, although some were also small, …and grotesquely figured or disfigured, a scary monster’s ball, …and trudging, stampeding, stomping or slithering down the hall. There they danced, sang or prattled, where giants fought and where they battled, …thunder unto heroes rattled, with awful screams so frightening, and terrifying lightning! Scaly, hairy or feathered, wet and fiery or weathered, …conjoined, twisted or tethered, slithery writhing together, Kingu and his wife, some say it was t’was his mother, …his plan was war and strife, pitting brother against brother, A ******* existence and so morally depraved, …a state of sickly persistence, they found themselves enslaved. Then abounding voice of heaven, that divided night by day, …brought forth a princely king of Luke; the warrior Marduk. Fourteen engaged in combat, the one against thirteen, …and thus aligned with the ecliptic, at night they can be seen,   Sloshing in the Apsu, beaten with the club, …slain and torn to pieces, cutting channels of their blood, A north wind sent them to their places, fixed on Tiamat’s wheel, …and the starry constellations, did Marduk bring to heel.
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23
Mother, mother, what ill-bred aunt Or what disfigured and unsightly Cousin did you so unwisely keep Unasked to my christening, that she Sent these ladies in her stead With heads like darning-eggs to nod And nod and nod at foot and head And at the left side of my crib? Mother, who made to order stories Of Mixie Blackshort the heroic bear, Mother, whose witches always, always Got baked into gingerbread, I wonder Whether you saw them, whether you said Words to rid me of those three ladies Nodding by night around my bed, Mouthless, eyeless, with stitched bald head. In the hurricane, when father's twelve Study windows bellied in Like bubbles about to break, you fed My brother and me cookies and Ovaltine And helped the two of us to choir: 'Thor is angry; boom boom boom! Thor is angry: we don't care!' But those ladies broke the panes. When on tiptoe the schoolgirls danced, Blinking flashlights like fireflies And singing the glowworm song, I could Not lift a foot in the twinkle-dress But, heavy-footed, stood aside In the shadow cast by my dismal-headed Godmothers, and you cried and cried: And the shadow stretched, the lights went out. Mother, you sent me to piano lessons And praised my arabesques and trills Although each teacher found my touch Oddly wooden in spite of scales And the hours of practicing, my ear Tone-deaf and yes, unteachable. I learned, I learned, I learned elsewhere, From muses unhired by you, dear mother. I woke one day to see you, mother, Floating above me in bluest air On a green balloon bright with a million Flowers and bluebirds that never were Never, never, found anywhere. But the little planet bobbed away Like a soap-bubble as you called: Come here! And I faced my traveling companions. Day now, night now, at head, side, feet, They stand their vigil in gowns of stone, Faces blank as the day I was born. Their shadows long in the setting sun That never brightens or goes down. And this is the kingdom you bore me to, Mother, mother. But no frown of mine Will betray the company I keep.
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The Disquieting Muses
Mother, mother, what ill-bred aunt Or what disfigured and unsightly Cousin did you so unwisely keep Unasked to my christening, that she Sent these ladies in her stead With heads like darning-eggs to nod And nod and nod at foot and head And at the left side of my crib? Mother, who made to order stories Of Mixie Blackshort the heroic bear, Mother, whose witches always, always Got baked into gingerbread, I wonder Whether you saw them, whether you said Words to rid me of those three ladies Nodding by night around my bed, Mouthless, eyeless, with stitched bald head. In the hurricane, when father's twelve Study windows bellied in Like bubbles about to break, you fed My brother and me cookies and Ovaltine And helped the two of us to choir: 'Thor is angry; boom boom boom! Thor is angry: we don't care!' But those ladies broke the panes. When on tiptoe the schoolgirls danced, Blinking flashlights like fireflies And singing the glowworm song, I could Not lift a foot in the twinkle-dress But, heavy-footed, stood aside In the shadow cast by my dismal-headed Godmothers, and you cried and cried: And the shadow stretched, the lights went out. Mother, you sent me to piano lessons And praised my arabesques and trills Although each teacher found my touch Oddly wooden in spite of scales And the hours of practicing, my ear Tone-deaf and yes, unteachable. I learned, I learned, I learned elsewhere, From muses unhired by you, dear mother. I woke one day to see you, mother, Floating above me in bluest air On a green balloon bright with a million Flowers and bluebirds that never were Never, never, found anywhere. But the little planet bobbed away Like a soap-bubble as you called: Come here! And I faced my traveling companions. Day now, night now, at head, side, feet, They stand their vigil in gowns of stone, Faces blank as the day I was born. Their shadows long in the setting sun That never brightens or goes down. And this is the kingdom you bore me to, Mother, mother. But no frown of mine Will betray the company I keep.
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56
When I was younger I was very girly, I wore dresses and leggings, But never jeans. I loved pink and purple, And I loved sparkles and bows. I was very girly, But I hated dolls. I drew on my sister's baby dolls with ballpoint pens, Covering their foreheads with my cryptic squiggles. I would strip my Polly Pockets, And let them lay naked and ashamed on my bedroom floor. I would take all the limbs off of my Barbies, And rearrange them into disfigured beauty queens. Fake people have always bothered me.
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Jun 23, 2013
Jun 23, 2013 at 9:43 PM UTC
Plastic Anatomy
Bony small fingers wrapped round the cup and lifted it to pale dry lips she took a sip and lowered cup Sat opposite I looked at a face that was once to me the most beautiful face ever Now for the first time in my life I had undoubted confirmation that beauty does fade And those that say 'beauty is only skin deep were right all along I was never in love with her, I liked her, liked her a lot, but right now I sat broken hearted Heartbroken because to me God's magnificence has been defaced, the Divine work of The Most Divine has been destroyed How could this be, how can this happen Is evil such a powerful force, powerful enough to obliterate the face of an Angel. Yes, I know the prettiest Rose will one day wither and die Yes I know nothing last for ever in our world Yes I know we will all grow old and die Yes I know night turns to daylight Yes I know we all return to dust It hurt, it hurt, it hurt, for how can Aphrodite turn into Medussa within the course of a year To twist the dagger in me more, it seem as if all the changes were by her deliberate design and welcomed by her How can one blessed as such decide I want to alter myself and look the most unattractive I can be It was as if Lucifer stood there, saying 'you see my power, anything you consider worthy, proper, Holy or beautiful, I can ******* mess up or destroy'... Small bony claws put down the cup after the final sip, internally I was in stunned disbelief, how cruel is evil, how can an Angel be thus disfigured. Where is God, why allow this. I was never in love with her, I liked her but never had any reason to think we could be an item. But her beauty always reminded me of God's magnificence and induced praise to God anytime I saw her. Now the hurts burnt so deeply into my soul, that I don't believe in the beauty of humans anymore. I was shallow somewhat Now I know only Inner Beauty matters and everything happens for a reason Ashes to Ashes Dust to Dust
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Aug 6, 2018
Aug 6, 2018 at 6:42 PM UTC
ASHES To ASHES.........
Bony small fingers wrapped round the cup and lifted it to pale dry lips she took a sip and lowered cup Sat opposite I looked at a face that was once to me the most beautiful face ever Now for the first time in my life I had undoubted confirmation that beauty does fade And those that say 'beauty is only skin deep were right all along I was never in love with her, I liked her, liked her a lot, but right now I sat broken hearted Heartbroken because to me God's magnificence has been defaced, the Divine work of The Most Divine has been destroyed How could this be, how can this happen Is evil such a powerful force, powerful enough to obliterate the face of an Angel. Yes, I know the prettiest Rose will one day wither and die Yes I know nothing last for ever in our world Yes I know we will all grow old and die Yes I know night turns to daylight Yes I know we all return to dust It hurt, it hurt, it hurt, for how can Aphrodite turn into Medussa within the course of a year To twist the dagger in me more, it seem as if all the changes were by her deliberate design and welcomed by her How can one blessed as such decide I want to alter myself and look the most unattractive I can be It was as if Lucifer stood there, saying 'you see my power, anything you consider worthy, proper, Holy or beautiful, I can ******* mess up or destroy'... Small bony claws put down the cup after the final sip, internally I was in stunned disbelief, how cruel is evil, how can an Angel be thus disfigured. Where is God, why allow this. I was never in love with her, I liked her but never had any reason to think we could be an item. But her beauty always reminded me of God's magnificence and induced praise to God anytime I saw her. Now the hurts burnt so deeply into my soul, that I don't believe in the beauty of humans anymore. I was shallow somewhat Now I know only Inner Beauty matters and everything happens for a reason Ashes to Ashes Dust to Dust
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33
Mickey Mouse is so Scary So one-dimensional So simple So odd That eerie grin And his three fingered hands Each with a clean, white glove Slipped over them Why gloves? Why white gloves? What about his fingers? Why would a mouse need fingers? And why does he only have three on each hand? Is he some type of ungodly Ghastly and disfigured Form of a man? Or did someone Drop a rat's DNA in with A man's in a test tube? Nuclear radiation, maybe? Other-worldly being? Resident of a parallel universe? Or we're mice and/or rats walking around Smiling relentlessly, donning red trousers White gloves, and cursed with two three-fingered hands When the dinosaurs Were eating each other?
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Feb 26, 2013
Feb 26, 2013 at 12:41 AM UTC
Mickey Mouse (Weird Rant)
I feel close to you, Though far, I feel the chill down the spine. Like raindrops falling on leaves, you slipped right through me. You slipped right into me. I imagine your hands and how it would feel like to hold them, I imagine your eyes, and how it could read my play by play. Imagination fuels curiosity, Curiosity fuels death – death in your hands. Unique relationship of a thousand purposes, We walk towards an oriental sun, I remember your perfume like memorizing keyboard characters. But we have dismembered physicality. We have configured a disfigured mentality. Let’s not go outside, Beauty has its way to disconnection, I know it too well from you. I feel detached from my consciousness, In this dream, rationality became serendipity. I turned to sleep – only to stay awake.
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Sep 27, 2012
Sep 27, 2012 at 2:50 AM UTC
Dreams
Generations pass as autonomy eludes us denying us the opportunity to reach for liberality. Indifference, being a predecessor, digs shallow graves in so many ways, Watching heritage that once was become something uncanny, Unrecognizably lingering; lifeless. Racial force fields, forces fields of incarcerated thoughts to take root, Keeping us from seeing beyond ourselves, and The barriers built to keep those out, only keep us, from letting us, to allow others in, and trust is placed on trial, looking at a life sentence of death, unaware of its opportunity to freely avail or elude it’s predicament. If only it would appeal to the counsel of the majority. Stubbornness sometimes refuses to embrace what we know needs to be confronted in order to bring about change, unifying an outside world where life is not always fair and those around us calculate thoughts to hinder our progression. We live in a place of democracy and disdain where street corner pharmaceuticals ****** the weary, where adolescent girls are forced to become teenage mothers or prostitutes, where empty baseball diamonds and dugouts are replaced by thick scaling barb wired walls and gray barred cells, where young men and women trade their age multiplied for the number they will where in a system for life, and where the sound of a crying disappointed child is exchanged for anger and abuse, in the absence of a father or mother figure, figuratively disfigured and lost in translation; an abandonment of generations past. Who will lead and guide us? Who will plead and advocate on our behalf? Who will stand in the gap? Who will lead us past the captive mind to captivate hearts? Who will provide the keys to unlock and break us free? Free from the broken barriers that divide us? ~
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Aug 18, 2013
Aug 18, 2013 at 7:55 PM UTC
Dividing Barriers
Generations pass as autonomy eludes us denying us the opportunity to reach for liberality. Indifference, being a predecessor, digs shallow graves in so many ways, Watching heritage that once was become something uncanny, Unrecognizably lingering; lifeless. Racial force fields, forces fields of incarcerated thoughts to take root, Keeping us from seeing beyond ourselves, and The barriers built to keep those out, only keep us, from letting us, to allow others in, and trust is placed on trial, looking at a life sentence of death, unaware of its opportunity to freely avail or elude it’s predicament. If only it would appeal to the counsel of the majority. Stubbornness sometimes refuses to embrace what we know needs to be confronted in order to bring about change, unifying an outside world where life is not always fair and those around us calculate thoughts to hinder our progression. We live in a place of democracy and disdain where street corner pharmaceuticals ****** the weary, where adolescent girls are forced to become teenage mothers or prostitutes, where empty baseball diamonds and dugouts are replaced by thick scaling barb wired walls and gray barred cells, where young men and women trade their age multiplied for the number they will where in a system for life, and where the sound of a crying disappointed child is exchanged for anger and abuse, in the absence of a father or mother figure, figuratively disfigured and lost in translation; an abandonment of generations past. Who will lead and guide us? Who will plead and advocate on our behalf? Who will stand in the gap? Who will lead us past the captive mind to captivate hearts? Who will provide the keys to unlock and break us free? Free from the broken barriers that divide us? ~
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A mansion reeking of mystery and *** Unlike your parties, the brain is the hex Who's got the most phantastic story Stitch the real hunters with unreal quarries By candlelight she writes in her mind Death-obsessed, web-like bind Study the corpse, exhume the dead Fresher the better, revive the head Harvest the organs, strike a chord Of nerve tissue and spinal cords Touch your jutting collar bone Think there's no place like home Electric frogs and pinwheel rats What do you think about that Run from the monster disfigured It's trying to hug you like a gun hugs a trigger Go worship all your seraphim Yeah, it's a freak, but you made him Where have you gone Prometheus Were you our guest or just an atheist Yeah, wonders come in clear handcuffs You're only safe anonymous Oh, it's dead and it's jiving in no man's hands Oh, it's alive and it's lying in no man's land Electric frogs and pinwheel rats What do you think about that Run from the monster disfigured It's trying to hug you like a gun hugs a trigger Go worship all your seraphim Yeah, it's a freak, but you made him
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Nov 19, 2011
Nov 19, 2011 at 6:58 PM UTC
Electric Frogs
Can we believe -- by an effort comfort our hearts: it is not waste all this, not placed here in disgust, street after street, each patterned alike, no grace to lighten a single house of the hundred crowded into one garden-space. Crowded -- can we believe, not in utter disgust, in ironical play -- but the maker of cities grew faint with the beauty of temple and space before temple, arch upon perfect arch, of pillars and corridors that led out to strange court-yards and porches where sun-light stamped hyacinth-shadows black on the pavement. That the maker of cities grew faint with the splendour of palaces, paused while the incense-flowers from the incense-trees dropped on the marble-walk, thought anew, fashioned this -- street after street alike. For alas, he had crowded the city so full that men could not grasp beauty, beauty was over them, through them, about them, no crevice unpacked with the honey, rare, measureless. So he built a new city, ah can we believe, not ironically but for new splendour constructed new people to lift through slow growth to a beauty unrivalled yet -- and created new cells, hideous first, hideous now -- spread larve across them, not honey but seething life. And in these dark cells, packed street after street, souls live, hideous yet -- O disfigured, defaced, with no trace of the beauty men once held so light. Can we think a few old cells were left -- we are left -- grains of honey, old dust of stray pollen dull on our torn wings, we are left to recall the old streets? Is our task the less sweet that the larve still sleep in their cells? Or crawl out to attack our frail strength: You are useless. We live. We await great events. We are spread through this earth. We protect our strong race. You are useless. Your cell takes the place of our young future strength. Though they sleep or wake to torment and wish to displace our old cells -- thin rare gold -- that their larve grow fat -- is our task the less sweet? Though we wander about, find no honey of flowers in this waste, is our task the less sweet -- who recall the old splendour, await the new beauty of cities? The city is peopled with spirits, not ghosts, O my love: Though they crowded between and usurped the kiss of my mouth their breath was your gift, their beauty, your life.
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2.9k
Cities
Can we believe -- by an effort comfort our hearts: it is not waste all this, not placed here in disgust, street after street, each patterned alike, no grace to lighten a single house of the hundred crowded into one garden-space. Crowded -- can we believe, not in utter disgust, in ironical play -- but the maker of cities grew faint with the beauty of temple and space before temple, arch upon perfect arch, of pillars and corridors that led out to strange court-yards and porches where sun-light stamped hyacinth-shadows black on the pavement. That the maker of cities grew faint with the splendour of palaces, paused while the incense-flowers from the incense-trees dropped on the marble-walk, thought anew, fashioned this -- street after street alike. For alas, he had crowded the city so full that men could not grasp beauty, beauty was over them, through them, about them, no crevice unpacked with the honey, rare, measureless. So he built a new city, ah can we believe, not ironically but for new splendour constructed new people to lift through slow growth to a beauty unrivalled yet -- and created new cells, hideous first, hideous now -- spread larve across them, not honey but seething life. And in these dark cells, packed street after street, souls live, hideous yet -- O disfigured, defaced, with no trace of the beauty men once held so light. Can we think a few old cells were left -- we are left -- grains of honey, old dust of stray pollen dull on our torn wings, we are left to recall the old streets? Is our task the less sweet that the larve still sleep in their cells? Or crawl out to attack our frail strength: You are useless. We live. We await great events. We are spread through this earth. We protect our strong race. You are useless. Your cell takes the place of our young future strength. Though they sleep or wake to torment and wish to displace our old cells -- thin rare gold -- that their larve grow fat -- is our task the less sweet? Though we wander about, find no honey of flowers in this waste, is our task the less sweet -- who recall the old splendour, await the new beauty of cities? The city is peopled with spirits, not ghosts, O my love: Though they crowded between and usurped the kiss of my mouth their breath was your gift, their beauty, your life.
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83
Here God, Everything is for you: Here are my Testicles, looking like smashed purple grapes, Bruised, mashed, and crushed along with what Is left of my once proud, now exploded, tattered ***** I have laid before you my Disemboweled, bloodied and tangled intestines; Blown into bits and pieces, here lays my torso along with Shattered ribs, ruptured lungs, exposed internal organs: Erupted heart; battered, split, spleen; torn, mangled liver; Next to them, my legs, minus a few toes; Arms with hands missing thumbs, fingers; My head, Less pieces of skull, cheek bones, nose, tongue, and teeth, Is nearby; Those puffy messes of glutinous, jellied, deflated ****** orbs are my eyes; Over here, piles of chunks of obliterated pieces of flesh floating On a thick soup of congealed blood, mixed and meshed with Splintered, fractured, cracked bones; everything Convoluted, disfigured, impossible to identify. All of this is for you, I am your martyr, Your soldier, Your obedient servant; I blew myself up, Along with many infidels including Men and women, Unborn babies and children, Young boys and girls, I tore their bodies to shreds, Mangled and mutilated, they Suffered deaths no nightmare could imagine. I sacrificed myself for you, Exemplifying piety and righteousness, I await my reward, Wait for you to put my pieces together again; Been here for what seems an eternity and You have not come near; Not made me whole. Where are you? Are you not great? Where are the young, innocent, ****** girls or The boys with silky, pearl smooth skins; Will I ever have an ******** again? Uncomfortable, anxious, concerned I Lay here on this sacred, hallowed ground, Like a fleshy puzzle, scattered in jagged pieces, Waiting to be solved; Praying to be completed and recomposed. Where are you God? A virtuous, faithful, prostrated one waits; I have much to show you.
0
Oct 21, 2010
Oct 21, 2010 at 7:50 AM UTC
All about You
Here God, Everything is for you: Here are my Testicles, looking like smashed purple grapes, Bruised, mashed, and crushed along with what Is left of my once proud, now exploded, tattered ***** I have laid before you my Disemboweled, bloodied and tangled intestines; Blown into bits and pieces, here lays my torso along with Shattered ribs, ruptured lungs, exposed internal organs: Erupted heart; battered, split, spleen; torn, mangled liver; Next to them, my legs, minus a few toes; Arms with hands missing thumbs, fingers; My head, Less pieces of skull, cheek bones, nose, tongue, and teeth, Is nearby; Those puffy messes of glutinous, jellied, deflated ****** orbs are my eyes; Over here, piles of chunks of obliterated pieces of flesh floating On a thick soup of congealed blood, mixed and meshed with Splintered, fractured, cracked bones; everything Convoluted, disfigured, impossible to identify. All of this is for you, I am your martyr, Your soldier, Your obedient servant; I blew myself up, Along with many infidels including Men and women, Unborn babies and children, Young boys and girls, I tore their bodies to shreds, Mangled and mutilated, they Suffered deaths no nightmare could imagine. I sacrificed myself for you, Exemplifying piety and righteousness, I await my reward, Wait for you to put my pieces together again; Been here for what seems an eternity and You have not come near; Not made me whole. Where are you? Are you not great? Where are the young, innocent, ****** girls or The boys with silky, pearl smooth skins; Will I ever have an ******** again? Uncomfortable, anxious, concerned I Lay here on this sacred, hallowed ground, Like a fleshy puzzle, scattered in jagged pieces, Waiting to be solved; Praying to be completed and recomposed. Where are you God? A virtuous, faithful, prostrated one waits; I have much to show you.
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53
i asked my god for rest and in pagan desperation he gave me apolaki god of the sun and war i mistook him for seraphim God struck me down with the force of a thousand spaniards reaching my country's once untouched shores *your land had a god of the sun and war before they pinned you in virginal grace your country wanted you to see the sun and remember war was not for the bloodthirsty for your people it was god's will* i asked my god for love and in carnal frustration he gave me anagolay goddess of lost things i mistook her for a saint archangels unsheathed their swords celestial eyes filled with rage *your land had known loss long before you did your country had known loss long before love had made it known you will find yourself again* i asked my god for light and in familiar search he gave me tala goddess of stars and i stopped seeing them as stained glass figures i no longer saw my banished gods engulfed in the power of rome my land saw the stars before God's first day "let there be light" He said and apolaki bowed in recognition tala greeted Him with a smile and promise anagolay laughed in joy and gratitude my country had gods before wooden crosses before the galleons carrying friars came armed in holy water before my archipelago had become a sprawl of cathedrals now i'd like to think my God and bathala smile down on me saint jude conspiring with lakapati cherubim sleeping in diyan masalanta's arms i'd like to think the gods are at peace i'd like to think they would only want me to remember to never forget every disfigured reflection of the almighty Thy will be done.
0
Oct 9, 2016
Oct 9, 2016 at 4:17 PM UTC
the gods are all at play
i asked my god for rest and in pagan desperation he gave me apolaki god of the sun and war i mistook him for seraphim God struck me down with the force of a thousand spaniards reaching my country's once untouched shores *your land had a god of the sun and war before they pinned you in virginal grace your country wanted you to see the sun and remember war was not for the bloodthirsty for your people it was god's will* i asked my god for love and in carnal frustration he gave me anagolay goddess of lost things i mistook her for a saint archangels unsheathed their swords celestial eyes filled with rage *your land had known loss long before you did your country had known loss long before love had made it known you will find yourself again* i asked my god for light and in familiar search he gave me tala goddess of stars and i stopped seeing them as stained glass figures i no longer saw my banished gods engulfed in the power of rome my land saw the stars before God's first day "let there be light" He said and apolaki bowed in recognition tala greeted Him with a smile and promise anagolay laughed in joy and gratitude my country had gods before wooden crosses before the galleons carrying friars came armed in holy water before my archipelago had become a sprawl of cathedrals now i'd like to think my God and bathala smile down on me saint jude conspiring with lakapati cherubim sleeping in diyan masalanta's arms i'd like to think the gods are at peace i'd like to think they would only want me to remember to never forget every disfigured reflection of the almighty Thy will be done.
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46
It’s 6:47am on a Monday morning on I-71 south towards Cincinnati and I’m driving in the middle lane entirely surrounded by semis and service trucks and out of nowhere, like it was some miracle act of God, it starts pouring down rain so hard that all of the traffic stops in the height of morning rush hour, everyone’s radios playing morning talk shows so loud it vibrates the ground our tires are on and everyone’s coffees move back into their hands from their cup holders, I guess we’re all just trying to wait it out right now I guess I have no choice but to wait it out right now, he says, hoodie wrinkled, two all nighter’s deep and still no passing grade, standing outside of the campus Starbucks, as it’s pouring down rain I guess we’ll have to wait it out, says my sister to an 8 year old me, as I wait on the curb of our neighborhood for the ice cream truck, no matter how disfigured the spongebob popsicle’s face looks by the time I get it in my hands, and no matter the fact that I never understood that his eyes were bubblegum I guess I have to wait it out, my father says, watching my grandmother lying in her hospital bed, getting tests taken for her potentially and what would be proven deadly, lung cancer, Her eyes glossed over and her lips still yearning for the pull of her usual afternoon pack of cigarettes You just have to wait it out, says my grandpa, standing next to me in his garden, after having helped me plant my first tomato seeds, The summer has felt like forever at 10 years old, I wish it stayed that way, and I wish I liked tomatoes I guess we just have to wait it out now, the head of police says to his crew of swat members, after having everything fail towards coaxing a young high school boy out of his boarded up bedroom, the shotgun he killed his ex girlfriend with, still in his arms Well, we’re just going to have to wait it out, I think to myself as I sit in this traffic at what is now exactly 7am on a rainy Monday morning in the middle lane of I-71 south towards Cincinnati, entirely surrounded by semis and service trucks The rain will stop eventually
0
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 9:22 PM UTC
Rain
It’s 6:47am on a Monday morning on I-71 south towards Cincinnati and I’m driving in the middle lane entirely surrounded by semis and service trucks and out of nowhere, like it was some miracle act of God, it starts pouring down rain so hard that all of the traffic stops in the height of morning rush hour, everyone’s radios playing morning talk shows so loud it vibrates the ground our tires are on and everyone’s coffees move back into their hands from their cup holders, I guess we’re all just trying to wait it out right now I guess I have no choice but to wait it out right now, he says, hoodie wrinkled, two all nighter’s deep and still no passing grade, standing outside of the campus Starbucks, as it’s pouring down rain I guess we’ll have to wait it out, says my sister to an 8 year old me, as I wait on the curb of our neighborhood for the ice cream truck, no matter how disfigured the spongebob popsicle’s face looks by the time I get it in my hands, and no matter the fact that I never understood that his eyes were bubblegum I guess I have to wait it out, my father says, watching my grandmother lying in her hospital bed, getting tests taken for her potentially and what would be proven deadly, lung cancer, Her eyes glossed over and her lips still yearning for the pull of her usual afternoon pack of cigarettes You just have to wait it out, says my grandpa, standing next to me in his garden, after having helped me plant my first tomato seeds, The summer has felt like forever at 10 years old, I wish it stayed that way, and I wish I liked tomatoes I guess we just have to wait it out now, the head of police says to his crew of swat members, after having everything fail towards coaxing a young high school boy out of his boarded up bedroom, the shotgun he killed his ex girlfriend with, still in his arms Well, we’re just going to have to wait it out, I think to myself as I sit in this traffic at what is now exactly 7am on a rainy Monday morning in the middle lane of I-71 south towards Cincinnati, entirely surrounded by semis and service trucks The rain will stop eventually
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11
My eyes are not furnaces, melting realities into idyllic casts disfigured until their original forms are but ashen memories upon the ****** anvil. Nor are my eyes windows Through which I gaze And through which others gaze back Pure transparency And no deception Or mirrors that reflect Images mimicked Upon an insincere facade Merely a copy Never as beautiful as the first My eyes are not any of these They are pools of water In which I see both myself And that which is beneath The world below the surface Everything I see is painted me The shade that I have made For myself and no one else Ugly, beautiful, personal To me and me alone
0
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 24, 2018 at 1:11 PM UTC
My eyes are pools
The heat of the tequila sunrise On the seashore of Cape Creus Melts flaccid pocket watches, Soft as overripe cheese; The dreamscape's permanence dissolves Before distant amber cliffs; On sweet, rotting flesh termites sup; A time fly lands. The monstrous fleshy mutation Across the seascape draped - Deformed, distorted, Disfigured with decay; Centipede shades lash alien flesh And sluggish tongue oozes From the snout of the surreal Self-spectre of Salvador's craft; Persistence of Memory.
0
Jun 24, 2010
Jun 24, 2010 at 8:32 AM UTC
Camembert Time
A ceaseless compulsion Memorizing every mark and story you tell My destructive ways Playing the game destroying your name Starving Cutting Burning Anyway to create more pain Here you stand striking and majestic You walked away resilient Disfigured to society I only see grace Every mark encompassing you resembles strength I now respect myself We are binded together boundless through intertwined life Our infinite form My spirit and body Combine as one I promise to love
0
Jul 27, 2016
Jul 27, 2016 at 10:07 PM UTC
Awake
There’s a door that leads into the hallway Of the house that lives under the trees Whose trunks are beleaguered with knobbles Like a twisted collection of knees The handle looks faintly organic Any moment it might come alive The paint is like vertical shadows And the number is seventy-five The foot of the stairs is before you And the door sidles shut to your rear The carpet is damp and disfigured And the walls are uncomfortably near The windows are coated with algae So the light is all mottled and rank The varnish and the paper are peeling And curtains hang mouldy and lank There’s a hole in the wall with an angle And a view of the kitchen within There’s a nest in the bowl on the table There are rats living out of the bin Disjointed lugubrious echoes Of a whisper without any voice The spoons haven't stirred in a decade So the cups haven't had any choice It’s then you should really be leaving But you've taken your time and the bait For a sound of a footstep behind you And a voice saying simply "too late" There’s a breath on the bone of your collar It’s as cold as a final decree There’s death to be found in that kitchen And a death that came looking for me
0
Jul 7, 2013
Jul 7, 2013 at 7:23 AM UTC
Creepy Creepy Shudder