"disconcertion" poems
You are washed up
Out-dated
Old-fashioned
Never fashionable.
You treat me like an anomoly
Like my intelligence is withered.
Your goal in life is to make me feel small.
In response, I stand up.
Shout
Scream
Belt
Until you can no longer ignore me
Or put me in my place.
I love when you get that look on your face.
That look of utter
Disgust
Disconcertion
Defeat.
It just goes to show that
I know how to outsmart you.
This is why I need feminism.
Why I have embraced it.
Because everything that makes me "unlady-like"
Makes a man ideal in your eyes
And in society's.
To rid the world of
So-called human beings like you.
While in reality
You are nothing but a sexist.
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 1:37 PM UTC
i haven’t said a word in fifty-three years
no, i told not a soul what i felt
i crumbled dreams like paper notes and
when i spoke i felt my own heart melt.
while you so declared your own ravaging fancies,
shouted like a song
a voice of purity, clear as glass
somehow, you were always wrong.
no, i am not bold, externally;
though my thoughts roared so loudly in my head
and when i put my words on paper
i could say what i wanted to be said.
my thoughts were so much louder than my words that
my head was almost deafened by their sound
perhaps i’d rather dwell in my imagined tales
than the sweet syllables i had almost found.
i dreamed, like you, to speak so clearly,
so greatly, and with such confidence;
but i mumbled, and so sillily
slurred vowels into consonants.
i dwelled in mere introversion so much that
when i opened my mouth to speak
i was held in great aversion, complete and utter disconcertion
and i could not tell you why.
indeed, i may be full of anxieties
but truly it did not matter to me, because
alone is not lonely
alone is not lonely
and i am not alone.
Oct 4, 2016
Oct 4, 2016 at 11:39 PM UTC
Some sinister stare, some mocking grin
Some sauntering gait
Poison drips from the chin
Smelling of medicine though reeking of sin
Sweet, sweet, sweet absolution
Guilt isn't heavy, regret is a feather
Love is a memory buried deep in your dresser drawer
What is more; the sores cease to sting
Lacerations healing
Love is a son who's died in the war
A war that's for peace but brings disconcertion
My son died in a clash of raw rash emotion
Drowned in the Pacific under titanic swells
And here, where I stand, I will drown just as well
In some fight I surrendered so long ago
To some serendipitous tide
Some hellish curse
Some bittersweet brutish tempestuous flirt
For in a fight with a devil I know I can't win
Inside this bottle I find absolution
Dec 16, 2016
Dec 16, 2016 at 11:28 PM UTC
You don't love me, do you?
I wonder constantly. I know it.
Your love is immature and selfish.
I remember thinking love would be bliss.
You wouldn't mourn me, would you?
I watch as you do nothing as I die of stress.
Do my eyes look angry, accusing?
You don't help because you want to do less.
I'd be far too inconvenient, wouldn't I?
You watch me drown in my efforts.
I fully expect you not to reach out a hand.
I wonder if I could possibly think of you worse.
You wouldn't spit on me if I was burning.
I hate you when you are smiling, lately.
I'm having premature heart attack symptoms
Anxiety, stress, and PTSD are killing me
I'll rip the smile off your face and the air from your lungs.
I don't care that you're frustrated, lately.
Or did you think empty platitudes would calm me?
Tell me everything you plan to do
And will I believe you? Probably not, we'll see.
I'm tired of feeling like a glory hole, lately.
I'll pay for your comfort and deal with your lust
Nice to meet you, I contain a brain, wow!
And I'll use that brain to leave you if I must.
It's disconcerting to me that you make promises you break so easily.
Do you read my poetry anymore? I doubt it.
I'll wait to post this just in case.
Just how you gave me no warning that you don't care for me.
I'll give you none when we part ways.
Jan 29, 2017
Jan 29, 2017 at 7:44 AM UTC
An affinity sequestered away in a languid beat of my heart.
To whom I've fallen for so gravely ill, this churning affection grows a part within me.
The fire toils for a great satisfaction,
one of which I cannot fufill.
The strung voices that I provoke to keep you in the know are nothing but a timid reliance to keep me in the dark; a fault I've succumbed to, and a death I'll forever hold in disconcertion.
Perhaps it is best I keep the key for my own, but this pent affliction will be a pernicious ailment, gutting me within as the present becomes the past—day by day.
Oh, how I walk among the shadows,
lurking in a void, consumed by the daunting portents of failure.
Oh, how the hauntings of what could have been lingers.
But, alas, my silence has spoken, and now I must walk the shade of night and bear the quietude of my lonely plight.
May 7, 2020
May 7, 2020 at 7:37 AM UTC