"disbelieving" poems
first I smell myself.
the deep bass tonality of my musk,
hot, creamy, sweetness unique, of coffee and creamy,
my owned sweat oiled secretions massaged into her skin
emplaced by vigorous parts rubbing and tongue caressing,
under the fading shadows of my glancing, desirous admirings
then I smell herself.
sinking sunset glimpses of last nights parfume parfait,
scattered in random strategic locations architecturally planned,
some flavors come over me like modest waves,
others spelunking found in crevices, cracks and caves,
where humans tread in guileless search of guiltless pleasure
then I smell our sharings.
lemon and thyme, paprika, sea salt and pepper,
a basted rub laid upon animal skin consuming, and consumed,
the vinaigrette balsamic and California yellow raisins, pine nuts,
decorating leaves of red soil spinach and spicy arugula,
word salads, so miraculously ingenious, you swear off eating flesh
then I smell our combinations.
the air conditioned atmosphere that blends us properly chilled,
the olive oils pressed from two colored differing skins,
the mortal and pestle finely grinding our own fresh crumbled dirt,
appearing in places where dirt is wet panko crumbs encrusting us,
our combined liquidity, shaken and stirred, drying in martini tandem
it is 8:17am and this recipe of reciprocity,
at its most pungent peaking,
for soon raining waterfalls of potable city water
and the sophistry of French soap,
the pseudoscience of modern chemical shampoo,
together erasing, scrubbing away this poems aromatherapy tapestry,
your perplexed complexing nostrils will mock you once more,
for ever disbelieving, thinking you could no longer write of
only love poetry that crested high above the trite
Friday, March 29 2019
Mar 29, 2019
Mar 29, 2019 at 8:40 AM UTC
My darling, will you marry me?
Years of hints
I decided to ask
Is it wrong for a woman to ask first?
Disbelieving
His reaction
His breath heavy and heaving
Fidgeting in his chair
My face, sallow in its seriousness
Cast a cold shadow on his bones
His body turning away
The back of his head
In my veins moved oxygen pure
My breath calm and subdued
Knowing the answer before it was asked
Confirmation from his lips due
What does one do after many years?
Is it ok to force one into marriage?
Am I giving myself up?
Am I giving in?
My darling. Will you marry me?
You are the love of my life.
Will you marry me?
No, he said.
Apr 29, 2022
Apr 29, 2022 at 8:06 AM UTC
Unsure
Not feeling so sure
Skeptical
Feeling insecure
Bashful
Completely intimidated
Fearful
Absolutely trepid
Doubtful
Unconfident and uncertain
Cowardly
Disbelieving
Shy and coy
Hesitant
Incredulous
Questioning everything
Dubious
Scared to death
Timorous
Feeling so unsure
But will I take the risk?
Sure...
Nov 9, 2014
Nov 9, 2014 at 10:49 AM UTC
all the **** from your mouth that you thought was inspiring
slowly broke me down until my hope was expiring
never opened my mouth to come back with inquiries
just kept my head down and wrote my thoughts in a diary
and you read it, pathetic,
invading my privacy
called me out for feigning sadness and my ‘bogus’ anxiety
cause “im a better dad than mine so shut up and be quiet kid”
“you’re lucky im the head of this dysfunctional dynasty”
well congratulations dad, you’ve earned notoriety
for forcing my respect in the form of compliancy
and disbelieving science and the facts of psychiatry
so i ran away from home to join the freaks of society
where else could i escape from your emotional piracy?
Aug 13, 2021
Aug 13, 2021 at 9:58 AM UTC
many will know the beauty
of a butterfly's wing
and the delicate intricacy
of their decoration
those swathes of colour
meandering boldly in flight
a proclamation of
their presence
their providence
whose startling eyespots
can mimic the stolid gaze
of the stern and the alluring
observing in judgement
or perhaps in wonder
blinking only as they flutter
flattered disbelieving
yet there are reminders
in that Rorschach patterning
that those with ill intent
should observe
threats and
warnings overlooked
by those in admiration
of such beauty
where few will heed
that gossamer fragility
broken by any
not considerate enough
in their handling
Oct 2, 2023
Oct 2, 2023 at 9:51 AM UTC
Once for Halloween
I dressed up as Athena
The Greek goddess
My favorite Greek goddess
And it was a decent costume
Your standard iParty fare
Paired with an elaborate hairdo and some 50 cent earrings
And I knew I was only a cheap imitation
Nothing close to the real thing
For no one would ever build me a temple
Burn cattle in my name
Put on white robes and fall to their knees
For me
No, not for me
But for Athena
Oh, how they fell!
How the ancient Greeks worshipped her very name
Gave her their capital city
And dedicated the most powerful force to her
Wisdom
That force which drove the philosophers
The very energy
That sustained Socrates
And Plato
And Aristotle
And all those dead guys we read about in class
I was in a class
Reading the words those dead guys collected
In their moments of clarity
But all I could think about
All I really wanted
Was to throw on a white robe
And fall to my knees at the Parthenon
Begging for wisdom, wisdom
Please, Athena, some wisdom!
I don't care if it's heresy
I don't care if you're a myth nowadays
Because you once reigned
You once stood on Mount Olympus
In all your ancient power
And watched your people crying out wisdom, Athena, wisdom!
Please!
I wish
I could have been there
I wish I could have seen
The day the goddess cracked open Zeus's skull
And was born
Fully armed
Ready for her battle
Not the fight for wisdom, no
The fight she faced was undying
The war she would lead
Would ripple through the ages
Taking all civilizations
And tearing at their social order
For it was the men she was fighting
The disbelieving fools who put her *** down
Taking all women's wisdom
And deeming it inferior
Substandard
Not good enough
So Athena blazed in glory
And for her, men believed
Believed in their mothers and wives and daughters
Saw in that enthroned goddess
The sparks that fueled women's minds
Yes, I wish I'd been there
I wish I could have kissed her sword
And asked her to stick around
To blaze her way to the twenty-first century
And make these guys tremble, too
Instead
I look around my 80% male college of engineering
And wonder why I need to prove my worth
Simply because I have a second x chromosome
I wish that I could blaze in glory
And dazzle them all the same
That my Halloween costume could be enough to fool them
That they would turn their toga-party bedsheets
Into white robes
And fall to their knees
Gasping, "Wisdom, wisdom!"
And that, for one moment
I could be their goddess
Nov 27, 2010
Nov 27, 2010 at 6:38 PM UTC
Pretentious
you stumble, heeding
terra cotta voices and
the sigh of broken chimes.
Disbelieving
you fall,
a sybil breathing rime-
for visions have a price
and you too must taste the salt.
Flounder
my pretty,
for time has bought your emnity
The blossom of your beauty
a weathervane of trust.
Dec 24, 2011
Dec 24, 2011 at 1:47 AM UTC
A LIFE TORN APART
When I first peeped into the world, I deemed it fit for the growth of my
miniature. When I peeped again, I trembled with disbelieving eyes at the
emergent live labyrinth that stood staring; but then, can an opinion change
an existence? Maybe, just maybe
As our mother packed and left, our father drove away. We remained hidden in
desolate souls. We were striked with a giant of a being called sustenance,
which dwelt in providence. Sincerely our begetters ought to have thought of
our brilliant futures. We deserved a life, to run the race towards academic
heights
Just the other day I overheard, my hemophilic father tying the famous knot
with a fellow MAN. Then I thought, what would become of my ego? Would I
walk with MY head held high facing other heterosexually raised colleagues?
Would I even get the strength to chase after the big price? I think not
As I grew up, I hoped for an illuminated course. Now I walk in converging
paths. After my fore-bearers kicked their ***** apart, I sobbed after my
dressed mother, they say. But who could have thought that I would turn into
a walking stone?
Walking through streets in search of well-wishers, I wished my parents had
held onto their existence. She blamed it on lewdness while he held it all
upon the mistake of an early pregnancy. Was I born unwanted? Was I smuggled
into this existence? I cease to think about it.
As a student, I thought my father’s charm the way to go. As a child, my
mother’s “generosity” to male neighbors elated me. Now as a parent to be I
think, what would my apprehended seed think of my responsibilities? Will I
be faced by delinquency? I thought the rod could do a lot to effect
change. It never did on me. Maybe I ought to mind the examples that I was
given not.
With my Progenitor bidden by the feared misfortune, I still sink in the
memories of my father, taken away by the same old grabber, HIV/AIDS. How I
hate you HIV….I beseech thee to move away from me. I promise my dear life;
that I will always run against the traffic. I will ensure I entangle myself
not, in a creased heart and walk with head held high. With the hope of
giving my bairm, the kind of life that I always wanted
Jun 29, 2014
Jun 29, 2014 at 8:43 AM UTC
True colors have been reflected
like glossy panels of deceit;
A palette of mixed aggressive tones
to paint a hue of hate;
****** images depicted,
displaying a forgotten world
of an imagination still sputtering on
A heart scarred for disbelieving the
truth with each stroke;
Empathetic swirls of long repressed
feelings, staccato marks the untraceable
A blend of emotions that leaves my gut
reeling, like pigments of color circling
a water-filled bowl
Jul 29, 2012
Jul 29, 2012 at 2:56 PM UTC
He was the only man who I knew could gaze on me naked forever
And never stop wanting me.
I bewitched him
And I believed him, believed this;
That I could mesmerise another.
This he gave me,
Belief in my beauty.
The chance to see through his eyes;
Someone amazing,
Someone who shines.
I wish I could tell him how he enriched me
With confidence, pleasure, such moments of joy.
He introduced me to my bodies longings,
For months I could think of nothing but him
A thunderstorm of lust from dawn 'til dusk.
I wouldn't change it,
I wouldn't go back,
Not even now,
He gave me
Something I had never had,
May never have again.
In time I may realise
That he has given me other things;
The strength to forgive myself,
The tendency to be less judgemental of others,
The ability to embrace contentment, and calm.
I don't have those things yet,
It is all too raw
And I'm still dazed, and disbelieving,
Self-forgiveness is a long way down the line, but...
Everything teaches us something,
I am willing to learn.
Sep 28, 2013
Sep 28, 2013 at 8:12 AM UTC
*** 101
by Michael R. Burch
That day the late spring heat
steamed through the windows of a Crayola-yellow schoolbus
crawling its way up the backwards slopes
of Nowheresville, North Carolina ...
Where we sat exhausted
from the day’s skulldrudgery
and the unexpected waves of muggy,
summer-like humidity ...
Giggly first graders sat two abreast
behind senior high students
sprouting their first sparse beards,
their implausible bosoms, their stranger affections ...
The most unlikely coupling―
Lambert, 18, the only college prospect
on the varsity basketball team,
the proverbial talldarkhandsome
swashbuckling cocksman, grinning ...
Beside him, Wanda, 13,
bespectacled, in her primproper attire
and pigtails, staring up at him,
fawneyed, disbelieving ...
And as the bus filled with the improbable musk of her,
as she twitched impaled on his finger
like a dead frog jarred to life by electrodes,
I knew ...
that love is a forlorn enterprise,
that I would never understand it.
Keywords/Tags: first, love, *** lust, passion, desire, school, bus, foreplay, ********* odor, musk
Apr 27, 2020
Apr 27, 2020 at 4:29 AM UTC
For he with the blonde curls,
Who set you from stone to glass,
For he with greyness and age,
Who set you from virtue to lust,
And for the fathers who warned,
Who set you in a statue of shame,
With his constant looks of disbelieving.
For she with the stars of freckles,
Who set you from glass to shards,
For she with the condensation of coldness,
Who set you on route to loneliness,
And for the mothers who neglected,
Who set you with no comfort,
With no help after the males visited.
For the creaks of floorboards,
Threatening unholy arrival,
For the thousands of bed squeaks,
Helping by gifting distraction,
For the hotel clerks gentle knowing smiles,
For the cheeks I can force upwards,
For the sacred of tears that disappeared with new numbness,
For the child within me who had such urgency to grow up,
And for me...for me.
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 8:45 AM UTC
“My poems are often wiser than me, lean into a more keen universe of understanding.” Joy Harjo
<•>
instant recognition moment, Joy, your words,
(despite the kitchen cooking clanging chatter next door),
spilling into the quiet space of my thanksgiving brain
my wiser poems are insights inscribed inside,
exposed and released all in their own good time,
they, always blogging, leaning out to escape,
asking the Governor for clemency, early release
poems that are my self-defensive explicit explanations,
excuses, convoluted ratinocations, prosecutorial accusations, leveled by my disbelieving, revealing, sworn to silence
not-to-be-trusted-confessor-me against the indefensible
nobody likes a wise guy,
but out they come, under the covers, dem poems
of nighttime darkness, spilling beans and silent screams,
asking you if we remember that time when we...
yes, we.
but writ in the first person personal,
in words summoned from his own ****** deep darkness?
better in plain english when sharing shadings of universal,
and you leaning in on me from within,
presence of pressure, a plaintive palliative wailing,
ejecting an *********** of joy
when “please release us” is honored with our
collective wisdom
<•>
11/24/17
9:07am
Nov 24, 2017
Nov 24, 2017 at 10:07 AM UTC
Everybody needs inspiration and a soul.
But remembrance is sometimes untold..
Life isn't meant to be easy, just a journey through the scenery.
Things aren't always what they seem, but actually sometimes disbelieving.
Believing everything you see and hear is a no go.
Although Life is all about perspective inspect it.
Interconnect with your mind, body, and soul.
Sooner or later you'll reach your goal
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 11:48 PM UTC
The light grows brighter
As I dream
Desolate
Alone
The light grows brighter
As I listen
Disbelieving
Hopeful
The light grows brighter
As I watch
Eager
Excited
The light grows brighter
As I think to myself
Finally
Free
Nov 5, 2012
Nov 5, 2012 at 11:04 PM UTC
The Trojan dead are whispering
Indecipherable secrets to sodden-eared earth.
The wind has eyes and sees beyond, Titans outremembered.
Ajax and his oft-turned back
Carries again the fallen from the fields:
The murder-slept clouds, unsuspecting;
Slumped Achilles of disbelieving-godless eyes,
Flinging the final spear of his own blood.
Soldiers all now of the green husk.
Titanic silence engulfs sound,
Except from those who mourn.
The storm is only a storm
As long as the leaves are lost.
Such is the untimely, timeliness of war.
Jun 26, 2019
Jun 26, 2019 at 1:50 PM UTC
I remember creeping reverently past
The yawning maw
Snarling braches, overgrown foliage
Sad eye sockets
The defeated roof
Listing drunkenly to the left
The black spirals on the ground
Where the fire had scored earth bare
Crouched from the sanctity of the sidewalk
Damp palm snaking back to
Clasp tight
My best friend’s hand
Fear skittering up our spines
We skirted past poisonous green weeds
That swayed in the yard
Unkempt and our eyes
Darted, seeking, feral
For movement in that open doorway
Her shadow
The witch
Years pass
Looking out into suburbia
Manicured green boxes
And cookie-cutter plans
From my own cracked window
My newly acquired reno,
I spot a flash of moving colour
From beyond the overgrown hyacinths
A tousled flash of curls between the green
Puzzlement ripples as
Three lanky preadolescent forms
Snake from the protection of my shaggy firs
Thin chests taking a breath before
Their whippy arms point accusing
And I barely see a flash before
The clutched rock leaves the
Stupid-looking red headed one’s hand
Crashing through my upstairs master
And I hear it
Witch, witch, where’s the witch?
And I feel it.
My eyes beadily narrow
Peering over my bulbous nose
Shoulders hunching
Toes curl
And I reach for
The broom leaning next
The painter’s cloth
Grabbing on with knobbly fingers
Hurling myself
Out
Of
The door
Their eyes widened
Disbelieving
As they spot me
And thumbs clutched between index fingers
They run
Leaving me cackling
Breathless
While my familiar
Looks up from
Sunning her black self
On the step.
Sep 2, 2009
Sep 2, 2009 at 7:49 PM UTC
*When it's pitch black in the mind
Seeking.
Looking for something?
You're afraid of something, I know so.
It's the one thing I always know,
People's greatest fears:
Yours is that no one will ever believe in you.
And worst of all, you're afraid
you'll never know why.
Why you? Why were you chosen
to be like this?
Everything you wanted to know,
in this little box.
Why did you end up like this,
unseen?
Unable to reach out to anyone?
You want the answers so badly
you want to grab them
and fly off with them
But you are afraid:
Afraid of what they will think
Afraid of disappointing them
But ease your mind about one thing
they will never accept you, not really
after all, you are not one of them.
You don't know what I am!
Of course I do.
You make a mess wherever you go.
Why, you're doing it right now.
What did you do?
More to the point, Jack,
What did you do!?
Disbelieving.
I thought this might happen
they never really believed in you.
I was just trying to show you that.
But I understand.
You don't understand anything!
No!? I don't understand
what it's like to be outcast?
to not be believed in?
to long for a family?
All those years in the shadows, I thought
no one else knows what this feels like.
But now I see I was wrong
You don't have to be alone.
I believe in you and
I know children will too
Look what together we can do.
No! That's not what I want!
And for the last time,
Leave me alone!
Very well, you want
to be left alone.
Done! But first, - - -*
●○
°
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015 at 11:25 PM UTC
Forever Faithful
to you, my dear friend.
I promise to cherish
each moment we spend.
I’ll always be grateful
you extended your hand.
Disbelieving, I took it,
and now here I stand
We know the secret;
the reason we live.
Not for wealth or prestige,
but for love that you give.
Forever I’m yours,
and I know you’re mine.
Together we pray,
as our hearts intertwine.
Jul 28, 2012
Jul 28, 2012 at 1:58 PM UTC
From out of space my love re appeared
and fast I ran away disbelieving.
while hunted by webs
of predators in greed modes
trashing impeccable character
inborn parenthood trait
courage, heart skill grace,
as weapons eluding chase
avating jealousy outface.
Each grotesque stunt
trampled me to fall in pain.
losing all crops of my hard labour scenarious so turbulent to depict.
in any story poetry or book
My love spark within outlived
travesty and misery sent in.
From an ancient love spell
propelled a new lovers aim
following me with grace
deep as space, honor truth
understanding patience
Twin loss, twin dreams
Experiences base the glue.
Large as the cosmos we both
Phathom, thirst, crave and love.
Synchronicity in telepathy;
the cosmos conspires offering
cards to read virtual modes
to explore our receptiveness.
Our loving is a Deja-VU indeed.
An ancient powerhouse,
with outworldly, genetic legacies
We both share in our weave.
a hybrid mutant Adam and Eve.
Who's my mystic
beloved?A brightest star
over Jaipur! Intergalactic,
art at heart.
Poet verse, he's honey bee.
His aim is firm as his name
He is me I am him within!
similar avatar in the outside
We tingle a double mystic smile.
A magnetic vortex keep us both
In one LOVEz voyage loop,
through space.🐝🐝🛸.
His vessel his gates his hands
His mind,heart, soul is my own.
Nothing and no one can pull us
apart, we call HP our
time machine to beyond
Alpha Century bound.
Thus, a billion stars cinthilate
with gentle beams of hope
Antimatter lovers lane
And our heart Rd-Ad
our home.🦋🦋.
~~~~
By: Karijinbba.
Inspired by- Good better best MOI.
Aug 5, 2021
Aug 5, 2021 at 11:33 AM UTC
when he looked at a woman he searched for qualities that attracted him because he wanted to desire her yet this tendency created an imbalance or disadvantage he was rendered weak to a woman’s beauty or whatever traits he idealized self-realizing this propensity he looked away from women years of disappointment neglect changed him he became afraid of women gynophobic
when she looks at a man she searches for qualities she is critical of because she wants to be impervious to his power she is suspicious of all men their upper body strength penchant to be in control misperception of women as property misogyny emotional immaturity neediness to be mommyed selfishness insensitivity or over-sensitivity depending she wants to be treated with equal respect a loving nurturing relationship she is suspicious of all people their alternate realities passive aggressive behavior co-dependence craziness
he sees her then looks away she suspiciously notices nothing happens they go back to their separate homes alone always home alone grown calm in resignation yet disbelieving of this destiny saddened by this fate both worry about the future she looks at her face naked body in the mirror her stomach churns feels a sad sickening remembers a time when she was more carefree he puts one foot in front of the other then walks tries to remember who taught him to walk how many times did he fall who taught him to laugh where did his sense of humor go
he sees her thinks she is lovely resists the urge to turn away he smiles says hello she notices nervously smiles her shaky voice articulates louder than a whisper hi
Jul 6, 2010
Jul 6, 2010 at 9:47 AM UTC
Consistency is thinning with the sun
Our minds crawl-
Yet race on overdrive inside our homes and out in the damp streets.
Simple static,
A mental block of conscious
spread by word of mouth from one disaster to the ****** birth of another.
Another bag of bones,
Clanking over our shoulders-
With heavey arms to bare with
Another gust of wind full of ashes and crowds all dressed in black with their throats in knots.
The words inside our mouths burn as they leave
There is a kid with a guitar on the outskirts of it all.
Watching in as the faces drain from the bodies in the streets.
So he began to sing.
He sang about shades of grey
He sang about the spaces in between
And he sang about the heart that’s been thrown among one person’s beliefs to another’s lack of.
He strummed until the sky turned a shade of blue which resembled his mothers eyes on the night he learned what strength and will was.
As the wind hushed,
The crowd began a melancholy motion,
with their backs turned to all that was
Some with new sight and others in disbelieving disgust.
But one thing held constant-
though time had been tampered and irreversibly changed
They all hurt the same
Each mind had been scrambled like eggs
(C) Tiffanie Doro
Sep 26, 2013
Sep 26, 2013 at 12:06 PM UTC
Terror-struck now, they bow their heads and shed their tans like snake-skin suits
As the inevitable full extent of the reckoning unfolds
And the scrolls are unrolled before their disbelieving eyes
These self-professed Titans now turn to pallid ghosts
As the great myth of invincibility
Shatters like a champagne flute - blasted by a soprano’s high note
And they who grew fat upon the flesh of others
Are pulled down into dripping caves and dragged through labyrinthine tunnels
Meanwhile, far away from off-shore maritime law, the true nobility
For so long held in grim captivity -
-They, driven by love, truth and empathy
Rise and fly like sprung angels.
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018 at 6:39 PM UTC
"You really loved him,
Didn't you?"
My perfectly pink lips quiver
As hot tears brim my eyes.
I nod my head yes;
Of course I did.
But I loved him much more
Than just a nod.
He was a deep breath
Of fresh air,
A shooting star
Across a jet black sky,
The split second silence
Under a highway bridge
In the pouring rain.
But I could only nod.
"Smile, darling.
You have so much ahead of you."
But once again, I could
Muster only a nod.
A disbelieving nod,
But a nod just the same.
May 13, 2013
May 13, 2013 at 9:59 AM UTC
I remember much
Too much it would seem
But some things are better burned
Others perhaps buried…
Somewhere along that forgotten highway
But still,
As the images continue to flicker
There are foul tastes
Disguised underneath all the splendor
Hidden amongst carefree smiles
Deeper than any smoldering look
Lies the darker truth
Built to be whispered ever so slowly
Against disbelieving lips
By all means,
Tell me my own story
You seem to do it so well
I’m sure you’ll be singing so sweetly in hell
© 2014 Peach
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 6:09 PM UTC