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"disapprove" poems
S • Skin tight, skeletal cage both ribs and mind. K • Keep a strict diet, never break it, always hide it from those who would disapprove, so I learned to suffered in silence. I • Internally a growl would emit, I reveled in the power I would get from it. To know I was structured, I wasnt a jumbled mess. Like the mass jiggling, clingling to this withering carcass. N • Never could the fat girl come back out. carve her, choke her, starve her till she lost the will to shout. Shout for help, shout for freedom, shout for love in this life. Useless, everybody knows only fit people have that right. N • Nobody would believe if I told a soul my struggle. "You are huge, big blue whale how can someone like you have a disorder? Y• Yell, scream "I WANT TO BE ME" But I can't because of our society deeming people like me are wrong, why should my weight define wether or not I belong? But because it does I hate myself. I live this life with a wish to die, all because my body is not S•K•I•N•N•Y
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Sep 17, 2016
Sep 17, 2016 at 9:34 PM UTC
S•K•I•N•N•Y
Warning: Use dis list in context. You decide on which side you fall. disappear disregard disaster displace disqualify disrepair disturb dissipate disability dispose dismal distribute distrust disturb discriminate discuss disdain disguise dishearten disinherit disown disparage disagree disgruntle disclose discolour dispute disarm discover disassemble disadvantage disallow dispossess discontent discontinue disrespect disincline discomfort disrepute dishonest disillusion dishonor dismiss disobey disjoin disappoint discipline discord discern discrete disfigure disconnect disapprove discharge disbar disease discord disfavor disengage disassociate discipline discount disembody displace dissaray disembowel discombobulate discredit discourse disentangle disenfranchise disembark discard disburse disbelief discover disable disagree disintegrate dismay dispense dislodge disclaimer disapprove dissatisfy disrupt dispel dislike dismantle disloyal disbatch disrobe disperse display disaprove disciple disavow disconcert disinfect disorder dismal dismember displease dissemble disunity dislocate distort distrust distress dissolute disassociate distill discect (?) distemper distain distasteful distraught dissolve dissonant dissuade And dis isn't de end.
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Aug 22, 2015
Aug 22, 2015 at 12:06 PM UTC
Is Dis Good or Is Dis Bad (a partici-poem)
When your children Near berserk us; When the maitre de Would disapprove; When the pastor Stops the service To ask your cut-ups To stop and move, I shrug my shoulders. Don't grow nervous... I buy, of course, Though they don't deserve it.... When the ice cream vender Tries to serve us.... Not my monkeys! Not my circus!
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Aug 25, 2015
Aug 25, 2015 at 7:17 AM UTC
Not My Circus
my eyes cry a million tears my heart feels many fears my mind feels so alone my life feels like there's nothing left but im still going im far from dead no feelings left to feel few experiences left to have i can only think of one more thing one that isnt so bad you are my final experience left to be had you make me happy you make me sad you make me feel everything good and bad you make me love you! and its so sad because you have no idea and some would walk away and just say thats too bad but ill stay here with you ill pay my debt to you and this i will never do ill never leave you because nothing can separate me from you ive got one last thing to do and that is to fufill my love to you let the rain drip down your face let the tears drain all of your fears let the darkness fall to the floor and i will make sure that nothing will hurt you anymore let the wind brush through your hair let me show you i will always be there tell me what i must do to forever be with you if your friends leave you and if mine do to that doesn't mean we cant be true beyond the end of time your family might disapprove and mine might too this is gonna be difficult for me and you but ill stay here with you ill pay my debt to you and this i will never do ill never leave you and on the foggiest days ill make the skies look blue and on the darkest nights ill show you the sunlight with one wing black and one wing white we will live between the dark and the light we will live our life with strength and might and be in our love with passion and flight
0
Mar 14, 2010
Mar 14, 2010 at 12:38 PM UTC
I'll Never Leave You
my eyes cry a million tears my heart feels many fears my mind feels so alone my life feels like there's nothing left but im still going im far from dead no feelings left to feel few experiences left to have i can only think of one more thing one that isnt so bad you are my final experience left to be had you make me happy you make me sad you make me feel everything good and bad you make me love you! and its so sad because you have no idea and some would walk away and just say thats too bad but ill stay here with you ill pay my debt to you and this i will never do ill never leave you because nothing can separate me from you ive got one last thing to do and that is to fufill my love to you let the rain drip down your face let the tears drain all of your fears let the darkness fall to the floor and i will make sure that nothing will hurt you anymore let the wind brush through your hair let me show you i will always be there tell me what i must do to forever be with you if your friends leave you and if mine do to that doesn't mean we cant be true beyond the end of time your family might disapprove and mine might too this is gonna be difficult for me and you but ill stay here with you ill pay my debt to you and this i will never do ill never leave you and on the foggiest days ill make the skies look blue and on the darkest nights ill show you the sunlight with one wing black and one wing white we will live between the dark and the light we will live our life with strength and might and be in our love with passion and flight
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59
The dead-bolts on the interior doors Against the nephews most securely locked (One is destructive; the other explores) Ignored by their mother (usually crocked) The brother-in-law babbles about his bowels And surgeries over the festive spread Ignoring his wife’s disapproving scowls Detailing each grim therapy and med The puppies are safely penned inside Because of an incident with a crowbar And a nephew who kicked and screamed and cried - He wasn’t allowed to **** the dogs or bash the car His mother comforted him in his tears And glowered at me for telling him no And comforted herself with a few more beers Her special child is sensitive, you know The brother-in-law’s colonoscopy With lurid adjectives of graphic doom Comes with the pie and more iced tea His miseries circulate around the room Then from the living room an expensive crash “Not me!” “Not me!” More screams and denials and cries An old family vase – it’s now just trash “You shouldn’t have glass around,” their mother sighs The brother-in-law offers to show his scars He finds his shirt buttons, makes his move We other men escape outside for cigars Cigars!? The women uniformly disapprove One nephew leaps upon a garden seat And jumps and yells until it falls apart Their mother says her boy is cute and sweet “Are you all right, my dear little heart?” The brother-in-law holds his tummy and groans And tells us all about his flatulence And just which foods lead to what moans (Perhaps he should practice some abstinence) The women come outside to cough and choke With practiced puritan disapproval and sneers About the satanic scent of tobacco smoke The world’s best mother chugs a few more beers The brother-in-law explains why he can’t drink It’s about his digestion (be surprised) And we shouldn’t smoke; if only we’d think And we (got a match?) are properly chastised Then at the end of this mandatory day Of mandatory Hallmark merriment All of them finally go the (space) away And how did the mailbox get broken and bent? But the brother-in-law pauses at the garden gate “Say, did I tell you about my new pills…?” And so dear solitude again must wait While darkness slowly falls upon the hills
0
Nov 21, 2018
Nov 21, 2018 at 4:51 PM UTC
A Good, Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving with the Family and the Relatives Who Just Won't Go Away
The dead-bolts on the interior doors Against the nephews most securely locked (One is destructive; the other explores) Ignored by their mother (usually crocked) The brother-in-law babbles about his bowels And surgeries over the festive spread Ignoring his wife’s disapproving scowls Detailing each grim therapy and med The puppies are safely penned inside Because of an incident with a crowbar And a nephew who kicked and screamed and cried - He wasn’t allowed to **** the dogs or bash the car His mother comforted him in his tears And glowered at me for telling him no And comforted herself with a few more beers Her special child is sensitive, you know The brother-in-law’s colonoscopy With lurid adjectives of graphic doom Comes with the pie and more iced tea His miseries circulate around the room Then from the living room an expensive crash “Not me!” “Not me!” More screams and denials and cries An old family vase – it’s now just trash “You shouldn’t have glass around,” their mother sighs The brother-in-law offers to show his scars He finds his shirt buttons, makes his move We other men escape outside for cigars Cigars!? The women uniformly disapprove One nephew leaps upon a garden seat And jumps and yells until it falls apart Their mother says her boy is cute and sweet “Are you all right, my dear little heart?” The brother-in-law holds his tummy and groans And tells us all about his flatulence And just which foods lead to what moans (Perhaps he should practice some abstinence) The women come outside to cough and choke With practiced puritan disapproval and sneers About the satanic scent of tobacco smoke The world’s best mother chugs a few more beers The brother-in-law explains why he can’t drink It’s about his digestion (be surprised) And we shouldn’t smoke; if only we’d think And we (got a match?) are properly chastised Then at the end of this mandatory day Of mandatory Hallmark merriment All of them finally go the (space) away And how did the mailbox get broken and bent? But the brother-in-law pauses at the garden gate “Say, did I tell you about my new pills…?” And so dear solitude again must wait While darkness slowly falls upon the hills
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52
Oh my god, what have you done to your hair Please tell me you didn’t buy those clothes with the money I gave you What happened to the you that I use to know? Why are you doing these things to yourself? What have you done to my baby girl. And there we go: that right there is just it. Your baby girl isn’t the correct terms anymore Don’t you remember when I was little, All the times I ran around looking like I did. You can’t tell me that you thought I’d really grow out of that. When I was just a wee kid I think deep down I knew, I was just unsure of what it meant. When I was only in the fifth grade I had a girlfriend, but we didn’t really know that. Love, and what does that truly mean? Favoritism, lying, shame, broken- hearted, depression, think on all of that. Do any of the above mean crap to you now? I know I’m not the favorite kid you don’t have to fake it anymore. Face this, we all know that I’m the unwanted, the black sheep, bah bah. Although I will give you that you both help me out a lot. What is the reasoning behind this you ask, but I shall not give you the answer you want. The reasoning is for me to explain that who I am is who I will always be. Maybe I’ll even improve on the person I know I am supposed to be. I know it’s not either of your faults that I didn’t develop the right parts. I would change the way I am if I could because no it’s not easy, trust me I hate it too. It’s a chemical imbalance they say, something you can be born with. Why am I sitting here pouring out my heart that I already have on my sleeve? I have no reason to believe that anything could even matter at this point. We all know I will be me and you will disapprove regardless. You say you love me in which I do believe that you both do. My only thing is I feel as if I’m just not what you wanted. Hell I wasn’t even meant to be so maybe that’s why I’m the black sheep. Baahh Baahh cried the poor baby sheep. Wiping the tears of my face now, I’m sorry dad. I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t mean for this to happen, I hope you don’t mind another son. I know it’s going to be heart breaking and mostly against God as you always say. I know life isn’t meant to be perfect maybe that’s why I’m cursed with this pain. The fear of it all is so scary I wish I could truly change. I hope you know this has nothing to do with my preference in which I’m with. For that sake is another topic we shall not address for now. With all this out on the table now, I say it’s time to eat, feast on it with however you want my dear parents. To the final tale about how the baby girl became a grown man no one ever knew about.
0
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014 at 5:56 PM UTC
BAAH BAAH! cried the black sheep
Oh my god, what have you done to your hair Please tell me you didn’t buy those clothes with the money I gave you What happened to the you that I use to know? Why are you doing these things to yourself? What have you done to my baby girl. And there we go: that right there is just it. Your baby girl isn’t the correct terms anymore Don’t you remember when I was little, All the times I ran around looking like I did. You can’t tell me that you thought I’d really grow out of that. When I was just a wee kid I think deep down I knew, I was just unsure of what it meant. When I was only in the fifth grade I had a girlfriend, but we didn’t really know that. Love, and what does that truly mean? Favoritism, lying, shame, broken- hearted, depression, think on all of that. Do any of the above mean crap to you now? I know I’m not the favorite kid you don’t have to fake it anymore. Face this, we all know that I’m the unwanted, the black sheep, bah bah. Although I will give you that you both help me out a lot. What is the reasoning behind this you ask, but I shall not give you the answer you want. The reasoning is for me to explain that who I am is who I will always be. Maybe I’ll even improve on the person I know I am supposed to be. I know it’s not either of your faults that I didn’t develop the right parts. I would change the way I am if I could because no it’s not easy, trust me I hate it too. It’s a chemical imbalance they say, something you can be born with. Why am I sitting here pouring out my heart that I already have on my sleeve? I have no reason to believe that anything could even matter at this point. We all know I will be me and you will disapprove regardless. You say you love me in which I do believe that you both do. My only thing is I feel as if I’m just not what you wanted. Hell I wasn’t even meant to be so maybe that’s why I’m the black sheep. Baahh Baahh cried the poor baby sheep. Wiping the tears of my face now, I’m sorry dad. I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t mean for this to happen, I hope you don’t mind another son. I know it’s going to be heart breaking and mostly against God as you always say. I know life isn’t meant to be perfect maybe that’s why I’m cursed with this pain. The fear of it all is so scary I wish I could truly change. I hope you know this has nothing to do with my preference in which I’m with. For that sake is another topic we shall not address for now. With all this out on the table now, I say it’s time to eat, feast on it with however you want my dear parents. To the final tale about how the baby girl became a grown man no one ever knew about.
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40
You hate my printed tees and high top shoes, you disapprove that I still wear my toque in June. Always saying that I ruin the plot too soon. You don’t know your worth, you are my Earth my sun and my moon. It’s how you get my smile to touch my cheek, and the way you get my knees feeling weak. The ten things that you hate about me, are outnumbered by the things you’re loving. You hate my shark shorts even though they’re cozy, you can look past it because you’re the only one who truly knows me. I’m tripping on words, the ones you prefer because you know I’m clumsy. You say I’m too loud, or my head in a cloud, but the way that I feel I’m always showing. It’s the way that you look me right in my eyes, and how you still manage to give me butterflies. The ten things that you hate about me, are outshined by the things you’re seeing. You hate when my hair gets too long, and when my cologne smells too strong. You hate when I exaggerate during fights and when I snore during late nights. Just the way that our fingers interlace, and how you get that look on your face. The ten things that you hate about me, are just quirks, you’re making it work, as you still get to know me.
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Sep 18, 2025
Sep 18, 2025 at 3:29 PM UTC
Ten things you hate about me
Everything thing you are about to read is the whole truth, and nothing but... she flew via jet blue, da coop decamped urban lands, leaving poet producing this piece de (at-the-door poem-de crap) resistance: Sad mad bad where I asked? a mountain in Mexico, where purpled pink wild flowers decorate, and the yoga mat is never rolled up and post pampering included! harrumph, and worse, exclaimed **NYC got florists and yogi masters for hire** with my sisters, will commune, hike by dawn light, eat veggies day and night and bone my body with exercise **Manhattan got veggies, central parks, and occasionally a pretty dawn, bone doctors extraordinaire, don't you know the best veggies, grown in Whole Foods in the Time Warner Center? go then, leaving poet, sad mad bad to salve my soul, know this! I am eating a tuna Swiss melt, French Fries and ketchup, Danish made with Danish cheese, drinking my fatte latte. This my stress, so well expressed, but baby, be advised, I am doing it, in our bed! all day tv watching, crushed neath an inconsolable need to do all those spiritual things of which you disapprove!** you went down the long hallway at 6am, you thot you heard me say, Leila, you got me on my knees! what was said but this: *Save me babe, from doing as I please!*
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May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 10:02 AM UTC
She Decooped and Decamped
"He's young now." I look into the mirror. "He'll grow on you." "He's learning. Unwise in his few years, low in confidence." I ponder..." Will he always be so...scrappy?" Here stands a young man, looking in the mirror. Still baffled at the reflection he sees. There goes a woman, his mother, still determined to have a youngest daughter. People say "He's changing, look in the mirror...see for yourself." What I see is a scared young man.... scared to live, scared to take up space, scared to make a sound in the noise of society's never ending chaos. She's trying...she says. To understand. To support. To move on. She knows not her faults nor the effect her words have on you...she only knows that one day her daughter stopped wearing dresses, cut her hair, and left a life of pink and pageantry behind. No, she doesn't know what she does, but she can see the light in your eyes began to dim when she calls you her little girl. His father....slowly decaying, pushes the ideas of a son out of his mind. Refuses to see the beard and changing physique in front of him, clings desperately like a moth to a flame to his little girl who he swears never grew a day past the age of five. Back when things were simple. Back when there wasn't so much **** change. Back when things mattered less about pronouns and more about peace of mind and reputation. When I grow up, I want to be the change that I wish I saw in all of you. I want to embrace who I love with open arms, decide that I'd **** for the man I see in the mirror. Let all those who disapprove be ****** Because if I couldn't protect the light in that little girls eyes so many years ago, I'll be **** sure that the man I become is one who will protect mine.
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Jul 26, 2023
Jul 26, 2023 at 8:05 PM UTC
This little light of mine...
"He's young now." I look into the mirror. "He'll grow on you." "He's learning. Unwise in his few years, low in confidence." I ponder..." Will he always be so...scrappy?" Here stands a young man, looking in the mirror. Still baffled at the reflection he sees. There goes a woman, his mother, still determined to have a youngest daughter. People say "He's changing, look in the mirror...see for yourself." What I see is a scared young man.... scared to live, scared to take up space, scared to make a sound in the noise of society's never ending chaos. She's trying...she says. To understand. To support. To move on. She knows not her faults nor the effect her words have on you...she only knows that one day her daughter stopped wearing dresses, cut her hair, and left a life of pink and pageantry behind. No, she doesn't know what she does, but she can see the light in your eyes began to dim when she calls you her little girl. His father....slowly decaying, pushes the ideas of a son out of his mind. Refuses to see the beard and changing physique in front of him, clings desperately like a moth to a flame to his little girl who he swears never grew a day past the age of five. Back when things were simple. Back when there wasn't so much **** change. Back when things mattered less about pronouns and more about peace of mind and reputation. When I grow up, I want to be the change that I wish I saw in all of you. I want to embrace who I love with open arms, decide that I'd **** for the man I see in the mirror. Let all those who disapprove be ****** Because if I couldn't protect the light in that little girls eyes so many years ago, I'll be **** sure that the man I become is one who will protect mine.
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14
I Know You're Not Proud, Is It Because I Did More Then You Allowed? Why Do You Disapprove? Can't You See I Can Improve? Why Are You Keen On Removing My Chapter? What About The Memories We Could Capture?
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Apr 19, 2015
Apr 19, 2015 at 3:08 PM UTC
Disapprove?
The bible in my hand feels far too heavy. I open to a random page, and realize that, although it would make grandma happy, I will never read it. Still, when I sit down at the piano here, I hear divinity in the music. When I smoke **** on the hill outside, and look up at the stars, I feel the excitement, the awe, of being a tiny part of something infinite. So who is their God to disapprove?
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Jan 26, 2021
Jan 26, 2021 at 1:51 PM UTC
Alone in a Church
You go for more or settle for less Run after them or go at your own pace You can climb higher and higher You can always get what you want None should tell you that you can't If you can proceed, you shouldn't retire You can soar higher than the sky You can poke your limits in the eye Ahead lies a wonderful reward Go for it, focus on moving forward You can change your little story By constructing yourself greater glory Navigate the icy unchattered waters You can go beyond the definate borders Nothing about their words matters You can disapprove your doubters You can hit the spot, if you truly aim You can change the rules of the game
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Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 2:41 AM UTC
YOU CAN CHANGE THE RULES OF THE GAME
If the clouds went away, far away from me, they would continue to rain on my parade. Nobody should march to the beat of someone else's drum; I will always be a disappointment to somebody. They come they go- the compliments and sacrifice. How inconsistent they always are. How can I firmly establish my identity, when my identity is what they disapprove of?
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Jun 26, 2010
Jun 26, 2010 at 10:06 AM UTC
Indomitable Spirit
it is cold, and you're walking, and you can't see your feet you're numb not just your face and hands but everything detached unable to distinguish from emotions now and emotions then you're walking down the road and the stars are shining headlights flying past, rocking your body threatening to pull you under and break you, crush you and your mind and everything else you're walking down the road, and the moon is low and dark and the sky is otherwise empty lets say that your eyes are closed but the drivers eyes are also closed in the car behind you and you, perched precariously toe the white line between death and a dirt road everyone, it seems, is waiting for something unknowable a feeling a thought a pat on the back, signalling that everything's okay everything's allright it's just fine go back to sleep ignore the questioning looks and just relax the man in the tan trenchcoat is looking for you his brothers, his family disapprove, but why not you're not a  bad person after all you've done bad things, yeah made bad decisions, yeah but overall what's so bad about sleeping in hotels when the back of your car is not as comfortable as it looks so you're desperate and he's desperate and you keep missing each other the looks and idle touches while comforting scare you you are not a  person who feels so you cannot feel the stubble whispering over your skin and you did not swallow openly and stare across the tables as his blue eyes watch you he doesn't judge you and for that you love him wait. no. you don't love him because that would be wrong, and decades of reinforcement are telling you this but honestly if he just loved you back... there's that word again the lights over the Arby's are hovering 100 feet above the ground and you're freezing and alive and maybe you wish you were dead but you're not and that's what really matters probably you hope.
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Oct 21, 2013
Oct 21, 2013 at 4:15 PM UTC
The Man in the Tan Trenchcoat
it is cold, and you're walking, and you can't see your feet you're numb not just your face and hands but everything detached unable to distinguish from emotions now and emotions then you're walking down the road and the stars are shining headlights flying past, rocking your body threatening to pull you under and break you, crush you and your mind and everything else you're walking down the road, and the moon is low and dark and the sky is otherwise empty lets say that your eyes are closed but the drivers eyes are also closed in the car behind you and you, perched precariously toe the white line between death and a dirt road everyone, it seems, is waiting for something unknowable a feeling a thought a pat on the back, signalling that everything's okay everything's allright it's just fine go back to sleep ignore the questioning looks and just relax the man in the tan trenchcoat is looking for you his brothers, his family disapprove, but why not you're not a  bad person after all you've done bad things, yeah made bad decisions, yeah but overall what's so bad about sleeping in hotels when the back of your car is not as comfortable as it looks so you're desperate and he's desperate and you keep missing each other the looks and idle touches while comforting scare you you are not a  person who feels so you cannot feel the stubble whispering over your skin and you did not swallow openly and stare across the tables as his blue eyes watch you he doesn't judge you and for that you love him wait. no. you don't love him because that would be wrong, and decades of reinforcement are telling you this but honestly if he just loved you back... there's that word again the lights over the Arby's are hovering 100 feet above the ground and you're freezing and alive and maybe you wish you were dead but you're not and that's what really matters probably you hope.
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67
You are the one I wish I could love. Flirtatious smiles, and laughs Can never be anything above the bond of friendship we have. Others would disapprove in an instant. Not only that, But you always seem so distant. Your feelings change at the drop of a hat. Glances are caught, this is anything but new. Similar feelings? is what I thought. But it's hard to tell with you. One minute we're sitting, and laughing. The next, we do anything to ignore the other. This whole thing to me is baffling. You will forever be, my almost lover.
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Dec 19, 2011
Dec 19, 2011 at 9:32 PM UTC
Taboo Love
People say sheltering your child is good. No one can hurt them, no one can bully them, And It makes them feel loved, but it don't for me. But no one thinks about the child, and how they feel. I feel insane, alone, I get paranoid when I'm outside because I'm afraid you'll disapprove of me once more. I always feel like I'm not enough, I always feel ashamed, I always feel lonely, I always feel blamed, When I get taught that you'll never be enough, I don't know, But I know you'll never be proud of me, That's for sure. One day I will grow older and look back and say, 'I'm happy I'm older, I didn't want to stay.' I'll be less paranoid, I'll be able to go outside without fear. I'll be less sheltered from the horrible world I now have to now know, But because of you, I don't expect anyone to **** me because I walk down an ally, I don't expect to get shot when I walk in on a drug deal. They say sheltering children is good, No one can hurt them, No one can bully them, And it makes them feel more loved, but it never did for me.
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Sep 27, 2014
Sep 27, 2014 at 11:15 PM UTC
Sheltered.
sometimes i wish i was alone. completely and utterly alone. i wish i didn't have to worry about anyone or anything. i want to be in charge of my own life. as awful as it might sound i dont want to have a family. i want to do what i want, when i want. it seems nice, ya know? not having to worry or fend for anyone but yourself? no need to worry about grades because your parents wont yell at you. i could go wherever i wanted, whenever i wanted. i have this dumb fantasy... that one day i will be in a cafe, snow falling outside. i would be sitting at a little table, drinking a cup of tea, reading a book. and a cute boy will come up to me and we would just start talking. no worries, no family, just us, no one else. i know, its dumb, but its just my mind. i guess id like to imagine that if i didn't have a family i could do all of this. its just that sometimes the people we really love are the ones who hold us back the most. and im tired of being held back, im tired of living my ordinary life. i hate watching these tv shows because it makes me sad. all of these people have such interesting lives. being bit by a wolf, dating someone who your parents disapprove of, going off to magical lands where you never grow up, shrinking to the size of a mouse, fighting bad guys and saving mankind... it just seems like a live a normal life. nothing ever happens and i feel like its because of my family. they hold me back and prevent me from having fun, or seeking out adventure. i want to live the life i want to live. so im going to do dumb things, make mistakes, read, write, drink, go to parties and live my life. because im sick of people telling my how to live my life.
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Jun 19, 2013
Jun 19, 2013 at 10:37 PM UTC
im tired of living my ordinary life
sometimes i wish i was alone. completely and utterly alone. i wish i didn't have to worry about anyone or anything. i want to be in charge of my own life. as awful as it might sound i dont want to have a family. i want to do what i want, when i want. it seems nice, ya know? not having to worry or fend for anyone but yourself? no need to worry about grades because your parents wont yell at you. i could go wherever i wanted, whenever i wanted. i have this dumb fantasy... that one day i will be in a cafe, snow falling outside. i would be sitting at a little table, drinking a cup of tea, reading a book. and a cute boy will come up to me and we would just start talking. no worries, no family, just us, no one else. i know, its dumb, but its just my mind. i guess id like to imagine that if i didn't have a family i could do all of this. its just that sometimes the people we really love are the ones who hold us back the most. and im tired of being held back, im tired of living my ordinary life. i hate watching these tv shows because it makes me sad. all of these people have such interesting lives. being bit by a wolf, dating someone who your parents disapprove of, going off to magical lands where you never grow up, shrinking to the size of a mouse, fighting bad guys and saving mankind... it just seems like a live a normal life. nothing ever happens and i feel like its because of my family. they hold me back and prevent me from having fun, or seeking out adventure. i want to live the life i want to live. so im going to do dumb things, make mistakes, read, write, drink, go to parties and live my life. because im sick of people telling my how to live my life.
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27
Self Righteous indignation, separation, and a flare for othering the man who strove to bridge the gap between himself and the world made himself an island to be safe from the chaotic trade winds Here, he felt, hell, he felt stronger than he was accustomed to but this only tempered his approach kept his destructive tendencies at bay and filled his time His ennui and his thirst for consequence His self deprecation, his lust for power, his empathy unbidden He knew of his own privilege, he knew other's pain was greater than his He knew other's success, and had tasted glory in doses unsatisfying He was meant to be satisfied with stagnation and was tailored to disapprove of the play by play but was forced to place bets on the rat race and to have his mind occupied by symbolism while he realized the cross was only two lines placed adjacently He was forced to explain to his lover, what love means, and how to believe What it meant, how it was, and why it was held in such high regard He comforted an ailing cherub, watered her roots with his own excretions For in appeasing her, he cut into himself All he wanted was to be big enough, to cut himself down enough that when he gave of himself, he could give what would have been his all while still holding on to what could be all he was.
0
Aug 20, 2014
Aug 20, 2014 at 2:05 AM UTC
Why should I believe in love baby?
Silver linings Are dreams of clouds Yet with a sliver of silver We take to the skies The angels ask us To keep their silence The price for our forbidden flight But enamored by beauty Befuddled by grace we are forever chasing after that which we wish were A dozen glass roses velvet lined stairs Glass ballroom slippers Pearls in our hair Slivers of longing Are what we have left The angels disapprove Silence is broken The vow unfulfilled A dozen gold roses To pave all the stairs and golden glass slippers To match our hair Silence lingers We are struck blind The angels turn their backs to us The gates of heaven are closed Not even the holiest of days Will cleanse our souls Goyim Infidels ****** a dozen red roses Line the graves to the stairs They shattered our slippers And tore out our hair
0
Sep 12, 2013
Sep 12, 2013 at 7:18 AM UTC
A bedtime fairy tale
He is there to spill tears of happiness when his eyes fall upon his infant daughter. He is there with arms to catch her when she takes her first steps or stumbles. He is there to teach her at the youngest age, even though she might not understand half of it. He is there to help her color inside the lines, make her grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, and tie her shoes. He is there to hug her and kiss her on her first days of school, and to walk her in if need be. He is there to teach her and tease her and laugh with her. He is always there to embarrass her, but that’s part of life. He is there to tell her to go ask her mother, when her mother told her to ask him. He is there to lecture her, prepare her for the monster called high school. He is there to put up with her teenage moods and her co-ed relationships. He is there to approve, disapprove, accept and forgive. He is there to give her a big bundle of flowers when she graduates, to smile when her name is called and feel proud. He is there to embrace her and kiss her before she goes to live and learn a thousand miles away. He is there to see her become a workingwoman, to walk her down the aisle (or not, if her independence and stubbornness prevail after all). He is there to watch her grow as the lines on his face grow. He is there to welcome her home, always, and let her hug him and smell the smell she remembers from childhood, the warm, protecting, comforting smell of dad. But most of all, he is always there to love her. And she is always there to love him back.
0
Jun 22, 2013
Jun 22, 2013 at 8:43 PM UTC
Father: A Daughter's First Love
He is there to spill tears of happiness when his eyes fall upon his infant daughter. He is there with arms to catch her when she takes her first steps or stumbles. He is there to teach her at the youngest age, even though she might not understand half of it. He is there to help her color inside the lines, make her grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, and tie her shoes. He is there to hug her and kiss her on her first days of school, and to walk her in if need be. He is there to teach her and tease her and laugh with her. He is always there to embarrass her, but that’s part of life. He is there to tell her to go ask her mother, when her mother told her to ask him. He is there to lecture her, prepare her for the monster called high school. He is there to put up with her teenage moods and her co-ed relationships. He is there to approve, disapprove, accept and forgive. He is there to give her a big bundle of flowers when she graduates, to smile when her name is called and feel proud. He is there to embrace her and kiss her before she goes to live and learn a thousand miles away. He is there to see her become a workingwoman, to walk her down the aisle (or not, if her independence and stubbornness prevail after all). He is there to watch her grow as the lines on his face grow. He is there to welcome her home, always, and let her hug him and smell the smell she remembers from childhood, the warm, protecting, comforting smell of dad. But most of all, he is always there to love her. And she is always there to love him back.
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1
I was suprised to see Robin appear at the onset of dawn. Looked on at my withdrawn self, tucked on my shelf, whereupon I return his look. With his wings, he made a gesture pointing out, out and beyond to fields in a vesture of green. Never I had I seen such pastal pastures, nor known them to be so near. Robin started to sing of spontaneous adventure, away from my miscellaneous thoughts. Extraneous in nature for they did discouraged this possible venture. In an act of defiance, I went to move, and felt a strain tightening around my brain. Denying the laws of science, the frightening shackels restraining me and my plumed heart from taking flight. I struggled against the chain, I wiggled until bruised and blood and sweat covered my skin. The sticky heat of desperation consumes me, wishing someone smuggled the key in and remove these chaotic chains. "I can't move," I cried to Robin, expecting him to disapprove. "I'm not like you. I can't just go and do what I want, it doesn't work like that." Even though I wanted to go. My soul longs for it, to be like the Robin where its only goal is to go faraway like a bird of prey, flying high complying to no one, just like Maslow wanted. The reclamation of self-realization. Robin did not reply. Robin did not leave. Nor did he grieve for me. He simply waited. This wasn't a rue. He was glued to me and thus Proving the legends true; of how he got the mark of Christ's blood upon himself. For he waited in hope 'til the day when I can cleave the chains and he'll supply the rope and reeve the opening of my escape. But that day is not today. Today's untimely end neared with the threat of an upset sunset, warning Robin that he must retreat to avoid being a prisioner of the dark. Yet, before he left, he nodded, as if tell me not to fret. For he will be back at sunrise His wise eyes conformed him to be sans falseness. And I prayed to empty skies that I was right. From my spot, I watch Robin's flight, as night fell with gravity, pushing the sun down and for a split second it turned to a green jewel. I smiled like fool at Joule's "last glimpse" feeling the chains, ever so slightly, loosen.
0
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 6:05 PM UTC
To be the Robin
I was suprised to see Robin appear at the onset of dawn. Looked on at my withdrawn self, tucked on my shelf, whereupon I return his look. With his wings, he made a gesture pointing out, out and beyond to fields in a vesture of green. Never I had I seen such pastal pastures, nor known them to be so near. Robin started to sing of spontaneous adventure, away from my miscellaneous thoughts. Extraneous in nature for they did discouraged this possible venture. In an act of defiance, I went to move, and felt a strain tightening around my brain. Denying the laws of science, the frightening shackels restraining me and my plumed heart from taking flight. I struggled against the chain, I wiggled until bruised and blood and sweat covered my skin. The sticky heat of desperation consumes me, wishing someone smuggled the key in and remove these chaotic chains. "I can't move," I cried to Robin, expecting him to disapprove. "I'm not like you. I can't just go and do what I want, it doesn't work like that." Even though I wanted to go. My soul longs for it, to be like the Robin where its only goal is to go faraway like a bird of prey, flying high complying to no one, just like Maslow wanted. The reclamation of self-realization. Robin did not reply. Robin did not leave. Nor did he grieve for me. He simply waited. This wasn't a rue. He was glued to me and thus Proving the legends true; of how he got the mark of Christ's blood upon himself. For he waited in hope 'til the day when I can cleave the chains and he'll supply the rope and reeve the opening of my escape. But that day is not today. Today's untimely end neared with the threat of an upset sunset, warning Robin that he must retreat to avoid being a prisioner of the dark. Yet, before he left, he nodded, as if tell me not to fret. For he will be back at sunrise His wise eyes conformed him to be sans falseness. And I prayed to empty skies that I was right. From my spot, I watch Robin's flight, as night fell with gravity, pushing the sun down and for a split second it turned to a green jewel. I smiled like fool at Joule's "last glimpse" feeling the chains, ever so slightly, loosen.
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64
A fearful submissive creature stares up at its captor with anxiety and admiration. His ivory skin glistens like the first dews of spring, His eyes are prudent and observant, full of thought, but absent of any sign of compassion, His hands neither taking nor giving. As the ugly creature looks up at its captor, aggrieved that it was not the hunter’s target, he did not even want to capture it, if anything, he probably regrets it. All the poor creature can do is fear and pray, fear that the hunter will set it loose again, never to meet again and praying that he might be a kind master to his pitiful but loving creature. Perhaps even offer… kindness? Will he listen to its stuttering words, desperately trying to convey a desire for approval? Will he willingly accept its dishonored form? Its long disheveled hair? its uneven skin? its hideous and shameful body? Will he sympathize with its silence, its fear of rejection? Regardless, its wishes to know what its master thinks of it. Does he disapprove of it? Does he disdain it? Does he merely not care about it? Please show compassion, Dear Hunter, it loves you. It only wants to know whether or not you care about it.
0
Apr 5, 2011
Apr 5, 2011 at 9:37 PM UTC
Hunter
Putting her in front of anyone and everything She promises love ever lasting but blink and then she's missing Giving you the cold shoulder her mood swings only make you lust for her more Find out her core she's not perfect, aborted before she could be reborn Torn away before you want her to go, do some blow to help you cope but she will come back and show you its not just the snow outside that's causing your bad connection Her complexion will send you in the wrong direction She knows her imperfections hurt your reflection Natural selection she is an infection in the section of you that no surgeon can remove Parents disapprove and refuse that she is right for you thinking you can improve Seduces you so you stay Knight in shinning armor you make her your bride so it's till death do you two part Playing poker only to find that she holds more than your heart She reminds you that's what behind you has designed you inclined to rewind to the unkind but you realize you have a blind spot for her Unable to see your past without her in it any way you spin it there she is Wake up from the car wreck only to see the way you spun it didn't turn out right You try to fight to stay alive but On your deathbed you lie and once again there she is, holding your hand in a tight clasp You gasp as you grasp that all along she was the forecast As you bask in the sun and dry up you look at her and she's more beautiful than ever No light cast upon her could age her skin what so ever Looking in her eyes you slowly begin to realize that because of death you two will part and your time is about to end Spending your last few moments thinking about her wishing you could make amends for everything you've done wrong You try to speak but she just says not to worry Starting to cry she says she's sorry Apologizing for the night you wanted freedom from her, she says she just couldn't bare to see you leave Right as you close your eyes for the final time She says you know we never would have met if it wasn't for your parents, see they gave you to me
0
Nov 7, 2013
Nov 7, 2013 at 10:05 PM UTC
Guess Who
Putting her in front of anyone and everything She promises love ever lasting but blink and then she's missing Giving you the cold shoulder her mood swings only make you lust for her more Find out her core she's not perfect, aborted before she could be reborn Torn away before you want her to go, do some blow to help you cope but she will come back and show you its not just the snow outside that's causing your bad connection Her complexion will send you in the wrong direction She knows her imperfections hurt your reflection Natural selection she is an infection in the section of you that no surgeon can remove Parents disapprove and refuse that she is right for you thinking you can improve Seduces you so you stay Knight in shinning armor you make her your bride so it's till death do you two part Playing poker only to find that she holds more than your heart She reminds you that's what behind you has designed you inclined to rewind to the unkind but you realize you have a blind spot for her Unable to see your past without her in it any way you spin it there she is Wake up from the car wreck only to see the way you spun it didn't turn out right You try to fight to stay alive but On your deathbed you lie and once again there she is, holding your hand in a tight clasp You gasp as you grasp that all along she was the forecast As you bask in the sun and dry up you look at her and she's more beautiful than ever No light cast upon her could age her skin what so ever Looking in her eyes you slowly begin to realize that because of death you two will part and your time is about to end Spending your last few moments thinking about her wishing you could make amends for everything you've done wrong You try to speak but she just says not to worry Starting to cry she says she's sorry Apologizing for the night you wanted freedom from her, she says she just couldn't bare to see you leave Right as you close your eyes for the final time She says you know we never would have met if it wasn't for your parents, see they gave you to me
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26
I cannot do this. I fear. I fear repetition. Repetition that I crave, yet also repulses me at the same time. An internal battle between neurons and ventricles and atriums. My chest burst open today when I recognized the face under that mocked brim and, for two moments, the Doppler effect was just something scientists invented to make themselves feel better. But it all came crashing down without the connection of soul windows. Blue? Brown? Who remembers. Remember is such a simply complicated word. I fear the anger and the holes in the wall and the murderous screams. and ripping church out of ears and heart and mind. cause that hurts. I fear November. My best and worst two days in heaven. And how badly I would...do...want that to happen again. Next I fear the eyeless, lipstick, lover of hands. The shallow one with a faux deep soul. The hypocrite. Her acid words that burn through screens. They rip away the moment they penetrate my skin and touch my heart. I fear her disapproval. because she will disapprove, this I know. Silver tongue like the snake. Venom pointed at me, her sister. Betrayed. So she will disapprove and that means much. Then I fear giving half of my heart, that is his, away. Well, it wouldn't be half, because is it still dipped deep in love. So a sixteenth of my heart-his heart- and that is still much. For us. It is just a crush. and that is it. But isn't that how everything starts? Tender pressings on your heart until they become the pulses and beats and poundings and crushing sensations. Once. Once. Only once that has happened to me. Still is. And even if it is unrequited, I fear losing that. I fear fearing. I fear rejection. I fear losing the one thing that I care about. and I fear not finding something. Or finding it to only lose it in a few months time. So I will refrain.
0
Apr 25, 2013
Apr 25, 2013 at 11:34 PM UTC
I Waited For You to Want Me Again
I cannot do this. I fear. I fear repetition. Repetition that I crave, yet also repulses me at the same time. An internal battle between neurons and ventricles and atriums. My chest burst open today when I recognized the face under that mocked brim and, for two moments, the Doppler effect was just something scientists invented to make themselves feel better. But it all came crashing down without the connection of soul windows. Blue? Brown? Who remembers. Remember is such a simply complicated word. I fear the anger and the holes in the wall and the murderous screams. and ripping church out of ears and heart and mind. cause that hurts. I fear November. My best and worst two days in heaven. And how badly I would...do...want that to happen again. Next I fear the eyeless, lipstick, lover of hands. The shallow one with a faux deep soul. The hypocrite. Her acid words that burn through screens. They rip away the moment they penetrate my skin and touch my heart. I fear her disapproval. because she will disapprove, this I know. Silver tongue like the snake. Venom pointed at me, her sister. Betrayed. So she will disapprove and that means much. Then I fear giving half of my heart, that is his, away. Well, it wouldn't be half, because is it still dipped deep in love. So a sixteenth of my heart-his heart- and that is still much. For us. It is just a crush. and that is it. But isn't that how everything starts? Tender pressings on your heart until they become the pulses and beats and poundings and crushing sensations. Once. Once. Only once that has happened to me. Still is. And even if it is unrequited, I fear losing that. I fear fearing. I fear rejection. I fear losing the one thing that I care about. and I fear not finding something. Or finding it to only lose it in a few months time. So I will refrain.
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57
**** format i'll place my words wherever                               i want          how           ever   i want and if you disapprove                                        go read Shakespeare.
0
Mar 14, 2013
Mar 14, 2013 at 8:42 PM UTC
Middle Finger To English