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"disappointments" poems
i. I intentionally failed to wish you a happy birthday this year, though I know significant dates, hours, moments, people, by heart. I still search for you in boys I mistake for bandages, the ones with eyes almost the same shade of your hazels, lips resounding your laughter, resembling a wisp of your smile, But they aren't you. ii. Sometimes I pretend you're dead, because it's less painful to stop reaching out into voids. iii. My mom still blames you for everything that preceded that year. Though you probably had no idea what happened when we stopped talking altogether. Can you believe it's almost been three years? iv. My dad wonders who was my 'one that got away' Though, I'm pretty sure he knows it's you. v. Remember how I mentioned Sylvia Plath? How most everything she wrote brimmed with melancholy? How I loved every single word? Especially that piece where she talked about expectations and disappointments. You'll never know that up to this day I still think people are selfish enough to always, eventually turn into the latter. Even you. vi. It's sad I never got the chance to tell you about Ted. How she loved him so much, she just had to figuratively dive headfirst into the flames-- burning herself, what was left of her-- after she found out he never really loved her the same way she loved him in the first place. vii. *truth is, some of us never learn to accept the love we think we deserve.* viii. I don't know if you still read my poems or if you still think about me, about us, sometimes. Every time you fall asleep past eleven, a part of me hopes you do. because I always remember you-- in birthday candles, red ribbons, off-tune voice records, golden arches, concrete sidewalks, pedestrian lanes, the last flickers of city lights softly fading out of the blue. I remember you in everything, in everywhere, in everyone. It's useless, no matter how much I try to forget. No matter how much I just want to forget. I want to forget. But, how could I? When forgetting means forsaking the very memory of you.
0
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018 at 6:00 AM UTC
i'm sorry. i thought i was done writing about you
i. I intentionally failed to wish you a happy birthday this year, though I know significant dates, hours, moments, people, by heart. I still search for you in boys I mistake for bandages, the ones with eyes almost the same shade of your hazels, lips resounding your laughter, resembling a wisp of your smile, But they aren't you. ii. Sometimes I pretend you're dead, because it's less painful to stop reaching out into voids. iii. My mom still blames you for everything that preceded that year. Though you probably had no idea what happened when we stopped talking altogether. Can you believe it's almost been three years? iv. My dad wonders who was my 'one that got away' Though, I'm pretty sure he knows it's you. v. Remember how I mentioned Sylvia Plath? How most everything she wrote brimmed with melancholy? How I loved every single word? Especially that piece where she talked about expectations and disappointments. You'll never know that up to this day I still think people are selfish enough to always, eventually turn into the latter. Even you. vi. It's sad I never got the chance to tell you about Ted. How she loved him so much, she just had to figuratively dive headfirst into the flames-- burning herself, what was left of her-- after she found out he never really loved her the same way she loved him in the first place. vii. *truth is, some of us never learn to accept the love we think we deserve.* viii. I don't know if you still read my poems or if you still think about me, about us, sometimes. Every time you fall asleep past eleven, a part of me hopes you do. because I always remember you-- in birthday candles, red ribbons, off-tune voice records, golden arches, concrete sidewalks, pedestrian lanes, the last flickers of city lights softly fading out of the blue. I remember you in everything, in everywhere, in everyone. It's useless, no matter how much I try to forget. No matter how much I just want to forget. I want to forget. But, how could I? When forgetting means forsaking the very memory of you.
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78
What tragedy has seeked me out this year, I know not. For in hope I expected, but t'was disappointment I got.
0
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 2:37 AM UTC
With great expectations come greater disappointments
Some say life is like a box of chocolates. I say life is like a PUZZLE You and I Are the pieces If one piece is missing the picture is incomplete Making things(relationships,disappointments,let downs,set backs,loss) a little harder to solve who would think a piece so small could make such a difference Or a IMPACT I SHOULD SAY we need you it is time to get into your position To figure out what part you are or where you belong GET THERE because you matter you are a piece to the puzzle. NOW PLAY YOUR PART
0
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 1:42 PM UTC
Pieces to the puzzle
This poem was written after watching a few hours of slam poetry on Youtube. Let me know what you think...it's my first shot at slam poetry. There are so many words flowing around out there about the big girls. The thick girls, the curvy girls, the p-h-a-t phat girls. About their plush and soft exteriors, their abundant backsides, their willingness to accept themselves and their hopefulness that others will do the same. Their….thereness. They are beautiful, don’t get me wrong. They are beautiful. But what about the skinny girls? The small girls with petite builds and large hearts and an aversion to the word short. The size two and under girls, the drive thru can’t gain a pound girls, the I AM NOT ANNOREXIC OR BULLEMIC girls. The girls who will always be referred to as “pixie-like” or “waif-like” or “twig-like.” The perfect model body girls that all of the other girls hate…because of their lack of fat. Aren’t they beautiful? The girls with the size 32 bust line, the girls who, at 24, still shop in the junior sections of department stores. The girls who, regardless of their age, their strengths and weaknesses, their experiences, heartaches and joys, disappointments and triumphs, their want or need for life and love will always look like they missed a meal or gave it back purposefully with the intent of becoming even thinner. The girls who, no matter how ******* HARD they try, cannot even weigh 100 lbs soaking ******* wet. Aren’t they beautiful? The big girls have to search and search for cute and **** and attractive clothes because of their size. Guess what? So do the skinny girls. Do you know ******* hard it is to find a pair of pants with a size zero waist and a 34 inch leg? To finally find an extra small shirt that doesn’t have one of the top three cartoon characters of the time plastered across the front? All I’m saying is yes, the thick girls, the curvy girls, the p-h-a-t phat girls… They are beautiful. But ****** so am I.
0
Dec 13, 2011
Dec 13, 2011 at 11:58 PM UTC
Skinny Girls
This poem was written after watching a few hours of slam poetry on Youtube. Let me know what you think...it's my first shot at slam poetry. There are so many words flowing around out there about the big girls. The thick girls, the curvy girls, the p-h-a-t phat girls. About their plush and soft exteriors, their abundant backsides, their willingness to accept themselves and their hopefulness that others will do the same. Their….thereness. They are beautiful, don’t get me wrong. They are beautiful. But what about the skinny girls? The small girls with petite builds and large hearts and an aversion to the word short. The size two and under girls, the drive thru can’t gain a pound girls, the I AM NOT ANNOREXIC OR BULLEMIC girls. The girls who will always be referred to as “pixie-like” or “waif-like” or “twig-like.” The perfect model body girls that all of the other girls hate…because of their lack of fat. Aren’t they beautiful? The girls with the size 32 bust line, the girls who, at 24, still shop in the junior sections of department stores. The girls who, regardless of their age, their strengths and weaknesses, their experiences, heartaches and joys, disappointments and triumphs, their want or need for life and love will always look like they missed a meal or gave it back purposefully with the intent of becoming even thinner. The girls who, no matter how ******* HARD they try, cannot even weigh 100 lbs soaking ******* wet. Aren’t they beautiful? The big girls have to search and search for cute and **** and attractive clothes because of their size. Guess what? So do the skinny girls. Do you know ******* hard it is to find a pair of pants with a size zero waist and a 34 inch leg? To finally find an extra small shirt that doesn’t have one of the top three cartoon characters of the time plastered across the front? All I’m saying is yes, the thick girls, the curvy girls, the p-h-a-t phat girls… They are beautiful. But ****** so am I.
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14
I'm having tea with Life, And his band of Disappointments. They dine at my expense, And they're a hungry bunch of guests. Tea turned into Supper, Where the Disappointments drank My finest wine, And Life wiped his cruel mouth On my tablecloth. You can't have supper without dessert, So they ate up more of my Food for thought. And if you stay for dessert, You may as well spend the night. So they did And burgled my pantry of hopes For a midnight snack. One night was lovely, So Life cackled, "Why not stay two?" And two turned to a week, And a week turned into My sickeningly merry guests Moving into my dreams, And inviting in Doubt, To live with them too, And of course Pay no rent. So I watch my chaotic household Of a skull, Where Life has made himself at home And brought all of his friends. I stare dully at my ruined Dining room of thought, Which they have dominated. And look wearily for a spare idea In my raided cupboards. I've never been one To evict friends, So I suppose they're here to stay. But learn a lesson from me, And don't ever Have Life over for tea.
0
Jul 18, 2016
Jul 18, 2016 at 1:38 AM UTC
Tea With Life
I made it... Though I haven't much of what it takes. I certainly saw some pretty dark days Though I have had my fair share of heartbreaks, The Lord has blessed me in many ways. I  made it... Even though I've waddled in emptiness And had my share of disappointments And my equal share of Loneliness I have also had so many blessed moments. I Made It... Though  I had my share of sorrow Despite all this and through it all, God kept me here to see tomorrow I know by grace I will not fall. I Made it... Even though I made it without any money And have had my share of Troubles, I know my joy will come in the morning For my meals will be served on many tables. I made it!
0
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 7:05 PM UTC
I Made It
Defeating the power of pain by resilience, and defining themselves by the number of times they get back up , they are making a head towards cherishing the every moment they still have in their own life. Mistaken for being numb, They not even feel the intensity of pain that comes with life, Socially detached , they feel nothing . Oh but they do feel something , In fact they feel everything, The feeling of loss , disappointments and regrets with heavy heart . But the power of resilience does not let their pain to define them , Instead it defines their tenacity and strength !
0
Aug 5, 2018
Aug 5, 2018 at 8:12 AM UTC
Power of resilience
In this life you will find Degradation unavoidable For it is in the weather of our life Degradation is like radioactive waste We pass like presents to each other The rain on a wedding day As I did once live In the shadows of dread As degradation breathed on me And I fell into the pits of self doubt And stank of slimy sewers For I was lost in loathing , But my soul grew rapidly In the muck and mud of this world For it was fertile and rich As my roots drank up all its goodness So please send me your degradation Your disrespect and contempt Your pretty wrapping of best interests Makes no fool of me For I will soak it up like the sky above For I embrace my madness And caress her beauty Like the most cherished lover As you reject your life Within the tight confines Of your own reason As you seek to bury your Disappointments in me I hold your self doubt in my hands For you live by scales and ranking As I throw away all scales And burn all efforts For there is nothing I can take from this world So please, please Strain if you must Look down on me If you can, As I am above For I own the sky And live above and beyond But all degradation disappears In the softest heart Of self acceptance As I fill the room All banter falls like the softest snow As we serenely dance and play In our snowball games As I learn to swing and play All jokes bounce and tickle The inside of my belly For I live in the ecstasy Of my own self acceptance As we roll around like clowns All barriers broken Our bellies full of joy As we spill over with love And bounce around like jelly For no degradation exists In the center of our hearts Where God permeates our souls For his love should be Followed into us whole As I accept God's goodness And perfection in all of me
0
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 6:06 AM UTC
DEGRADATION AND SELF ACCEPTANCE
In this life you will find Degradation unavoidable For it is in the weather of our life Degradation is like radioactive waste We pass like presents to each other The rain on a wedding day As I did once live In the shadows of dread As degradation breathed on me And I fell into the pits of self doubt And stank of slimy sewers For I was lost in loathing , But my soul grew rapidly In the muck and mud of this world For it was fertile and rich As my roots drank up all its goodness So please send me your degradation Your disrespect and contempt Your pretty wrapping of best interests Makes no fool of me For I will soak it up like the sky above For I embrace my madness And caress her beauty Like the most cherished lover As you reject your life Within the tight confines Of your own reason As you seek to bury your Disappointments in me I hold your self doubt in my hands For you live by scales and ranking As I throw away all scales And burn all efforts For there is nothing I can take from this world So please, please Strain if you must Look down on me If you can, As I am above For I own the sky And live above and beyond But all degradation disappears In the softest heart Of self acceptance As I fill the room All banter falls like the softest snow As we serenely dance and play In our snowball games As I learn to swing and play All jokes bounce and tickle The inside of my belly For I live in the ecstasy Of my own self acceptance As we roll around like clowns All barriers broken Our bellies full of joy As we spill over with love And bounce around like jelly For no degradation exists In the center of our hearts Where God permeates our souls For his love should be Followed into us whole As I accept God's goodness And perfection in all of me
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65
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid, it's like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real, it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."
0
Nov 14, 2013
Nov 14, 2013 at 10:44 AM UTC
Bob Marley 'Love'
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid, it's like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real, it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."
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1
Like an onion, I had layers. And you peeled me away, one at a time. One layer off. You saw my favorites. The food and drinks I crave for. The wall paint I wanted for my room. The perky dresses, nail polish, knee-high boots. And the spot I always prefer to be- on the front seat. One layer off. You saw my hobbies. The words I stitched together. The stars that formed our zodiac sign. The wallclimbing, badminton, volleyball. And the guitar strings that strum our lullaby. One layer off. You saw my dreams. The plane ticket to Paris. The thrill of a bungee jump. The candlelit dinner, fireworks, dancing fountain. And the license as a medical physician. One layer off. You saw my strengths. The smile behind the false judgements. The tears I fought back with pride. The temperance, confidence, adjustments. And the self-love I have strongly magnified. One layer off. You saw my insecurities. The missing dimple on my left cheek. The pimples on my forehead. The bitchface, fierce stare, strict walk. And this prominently thin-but-tall body figure. One layer off. You saw my regrets. The kisses I could have refused. The friends I thought were true. The false assumptions, unmet expectations. And the trust I gave to the wrong person. One layer off. You saw my secrets. The punches I had to take. The bruises I covered with my sleeves. The lies, frustrations, disappointments. And the brokenness suppressed in my memory. The last layer, off. You saw through me. The anxiousness escalating slowly. The exposure feeling uneasy. I felt stripped, explored, unguarded. And in my nakedness - you had to choose: To love or to leave me, For who I really am.
0
Oct 27, 2013
Oct 27, 2013 at 2:49 AM UTC
Peeling Layers
Like an onion, I had layers. And you peeled me away, one at a time. One layer off. You saw my favorites. The food and drinks I crave for. The wall paint I wanted for my room. The perky dresses, nail polish, knee-high boots. And the spot I always prefer to be- on the front seat. One layer off. You saw my hobbies. The words I stitched together. The stars that formed our zodiac sign. The wallclimbing, badminton, volleyball. And the guitar strings that strum our lullaby. One layer off. You saw my dreams. The plane ticket to Paris. The thrill of a bungee jump. The candlelit dinner, fireworks, dancing fountain. And the license as a medical physician. One layer off. You saw my strengths. The smile behind the false judgements. The tears I fought back with pride. The temperance, confidence, adjustments. And the self-love I have strongly magnified. One layer off. You saw my insecurities. The missing dimple on my left cheek. The pimples on my forehead. The bitchface, fierce stare, strict walk. And this prominently thin-but-tall body figure. One layer off. You saw my regrets. The kisses I could have refused. The friends I thought were true. The false assumptions, unmet expectations. And the trust I gave to the wrong person. One layer off. You saw my secrets. The punches I had to take. The bruises I covered with my sleeves. The lies, frustrations, disappointments. And the brokenness suppressed in my memory. The last layer, off. You saw through me. The anxiousness escalating slowly. The exposure feeling uneasy. I felt stripped, explored, unguarded. And in my nakedness - you had to choose: To love or to leave me, For who I really am.
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52
Eggnog and whiskey, eggnog and whiskey Come on baby whisk me ....... Away Holiday cheer and Holiday beer Come on maybe take their ....... Blues away Toast to life's disappointments Life's disappointments today I got those, we got those, we got yo Holiday blue,  blues, .... blues I got the Christmas bluuuuse Those family.... Those Holiday Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse We got the Holiday blues Santa's a comin', drummer boys drummin' I make my simple .... list That you will forgive me and just stop bein' .... ****** I made mistakes but baby it's you that I miss I'll stop the drinkin' if you stop thinkin' That I'm the devil .... to you That's why my white Christmas ... is blue Forget the gifts and the mistletoe I just don't want you to go No, I just don't want you to go Eggnog and whiskey, eggnog and whiskey Come on baby whisk me ....... Away Holiday cheer and Holiday beer Come on maybe take their ....... Blues away Toast to life's disappointments Life's disappointments today I got those, we got those, we got yo Holiday blue,  blues, .... blues I got the Christmas bluuuuse Those family.... Those Holiday Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse We got the Holiday blues A new year's a comin' but you keep on runnin' New year's a time for fresh starts So baby I get 365 ...  new hearts I'll give them to you So you so can  keep tearin' 'em apart On midnight I'll be waitin' I've got my faith in your heart If you don't show, my heart will moan But I won't be kissin' alone 'Cause I got my friends in a ... glass They'll fight the blues When I'm stuck kissin' your ... *** Eggnog and whiskey, eggnog and whiskey Come on baby whisk me ....... Away Holiday cheer and Holiday beer Come on maybe take their ....... Blues away Toast to life's disappointments Life's disappointments today I got those, we got those, we got yo Holiday blue,  blues, .... blues I got the Christmas bluuuuse Those family.... Those Holiday Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse We got the Holiday blues
0
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 10:37 PM UTC
Holiday Blues (Blues Poem)
Eggnog and whiskey, eggnog and whiskey Come on baby whisk me ....... Away Holiday cheer and Holiday beer Come on maybe take their ....... Blues away Toast to life's disappointments Life's disappointments today I got those, we got those, we got yo Holiday blue,  blues, .... blues I got the Christmas bluuuuse Those family.... Those Holiday Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse We got the Holiday blues Santa's a comin', drummer boys drummin' I make my simple .... list That you will forgive me and just stop bein' .... ****** I made mistakes but baby it's you that I miss I'll stop the drinkin' if you stop thinkin' That I'm the devil .... to you That's why my white Christmas ... is blue Forget the gifts and the mistletoe I just don't want you to go No, I just don't want you to go Eggnog and whiskey, eggnog and whiskey Come on baby whisk me ....... Away Holiday cheer and Holiday beer Come on maybe take their ....... Blues away Toast to life's disappointments Life's disappointments today I got those, we got those, we got yo Holiday blue,  blues, .... blues I got the Christmas bluuuuse Those family.... Those Holiday Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse We got the Holiday blues A new year's a comin' but you keep on runnin' New year's a time for fresh starts So baby I get 365 ...  new hearts I'll give them to you So you so can  keep tearin' 'em apart On midnight I'll be waitin' I've got my faith in your heart If you don't show, my heart will moan But I won't be kissin' alone 'Cause I got my friends in a ... glass They'll fight the blues When I'm stuck kissin' your ... *** Eggnog and whiskey, eggnog and whiskey Come on baby whisk me ....... Away Holiday cheer and Holiday beer Come on maybe take their ....... Blues away Toast to life's disappointments Life's disappointments today I got those, we got those, we got yo Holiday blue,  blues, .... blues I got the Christmas bluuuuse Those family.... Those Holiday Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse We got the Holiday blues
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58
I exist in a world of careful structure Taken out of Chaos and made habitable By strict planning and strict ruling— Structure is imperative Order keeps us going Deviations are not allowed If you wish to live in my world You must learn to follow rules Reliability is key Being dependable as the rising sun Predictable as a new moon Always infallible Disappointments are not tolerated Insufficient will be cast away Deviations are not allowed So if you can’t be trusted Then you don’t belong here There will be order in my house For in games of two, there can be no others There Are Rules And they exist to keep us out of Chaos They exist because structure Ensures that we don’t collapse So when your eyes are wandering You are marking yourself as inconstant Dangerous Unacceptable And I will stop at nothing Until you’ve suffered for every sweetness you’ve laid at another’s feet I will stop at nothing Until you’ve learned that you must always choose me I will burn you for every betrayal And some will call me jealous
0
Dec 27, 2011
Dec 27, 2011 at 5:41 PM UTC
Hera
Calories. When I was 6 years old, my mother told me I would consume too many calories. I would consume them by the hundreds, by the thousands. I was Godzilla and they were the people I dominated. When my parents left one another I had to fill myself with some other source of affection. And the insulin rushes were tremendous. When I was 11, I had to see the doctor to be in fear of getting Diabetes, and being grossly overweight. At at age of 15, I was over 280 pounds of walking disappointments. I had always believed my stomach carried my happiness and the fat under my chin kept my head high. But after being rejected for so long, I snapped. I always had an attachment to food, a sort of inseperable bond. But I remember looking at myself in the mirror one night, completely disgusted, tears welling in my eyes, and I puked from the anger I felt inside of me. So don't tell me the calories I consume today don't burn more than the bleach Amanda Todd drank, or that the more hollow my stomach becomes, I am not able to better hide my sorrows. Do not dare tell me eat something, because I've craved biting the bullet for the past 8 ******* years, and carbohydrates has caused more sadness in my heart than anything else. Do not tell me other teenagers do not cut open their arms, to let calories out, because they are scared to Christ that someone may judge them, if they eat an apple. Because the first woman that ate an apple, ****** humankind. And by having a sip of your Iced Tea, or a french fry, might just dissolve the earth from beneath us. Why we hide from nutrition labels, and run from anything with a number greater than ZERO on it. I was taught that happiness comes from a nutrition label, and how many servings one consumes, not the smile on ones face, or the good in one's heart. Calories have ruined my life, and I will never forgive any nutrition label for that.
0
May 26, 2014
May 26, 2014 at 2:57 AM UTC
Calories
Calories. When I was 6 years old, my mother told me I would consume too many calories. I would consume them by the hundreds, by the thousands. I was Godzilla and they were the people I dominated. When my parents left one another I had to fill myself with some other source of affection. And the insulin rushes were tremendous. When I was 11, I had to see the doctor to be in fear of getting Diabetes, and being grossly overweight. At at age of 15, I was over 280 pounds of walking disappointments. I had always believed my stomach carried my happiness and the fat under my chin kept my head high. But after being rejected for so long, I snapped. I always had an attachment to food, a sort of inseperable bond. But I remember looking at myself in the mirror one night, completely disgusted, tears welling in my eyes, and I puked from the anger I felt inside of me. So don't tell me the calories I consume today don't burn more than the bleach Amanda Todd drank, or that the more hollow my stomach becomes, I am not able to better hide my sorrows. Do not dare tell me eat something, because I've craved biting the bullet for the past 8 ******* years, and carbohydrates has caused more sadness in my heart than anything else. Do not tell me other teenagers do not cut open their arms, to let calories out, because they are scared to Christ that someone may judge them, if they eat an apple. Because the first woman that ate an apple, ****** humankind. And by having a sip of your Iced Tea, or a french fry, might just dissolve the earth from beneath us. Why we hide from nutrition labels, and run from anything with a number greater than ZERO on it. I was taught that happiness comes from a nutrition label, and how many servings one consumes, not the smile on ones face, or the good in one's heart. Calories have ruined my life, and I will never forgive any nutrition label for that.
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50
Yesterday it rained. ‘ ,  ‘,/  ‘ ,  ‘ ,\’ ,‘ , ‘ , ’ ,   ‘ ,\ , ‘ ,‘ , ‘/‘,  ‘, , ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘ /‘ , ‘ , ‘  \’  ‘, ‘ , ‘   ‘  ‘ ‘  ‘   ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘   ‘ Forcing my lights to power off. Last month we planted a seed. We fantasized about our future SUN(or)FLOWER. But lightening struck late last night. Destroying my garden, Snatching away my sunshine, Leaving me trapped under heavy rain clouds. Pouring teardrops of pain on my window. Filling the skies with thundering disappointments, As our paper plane came crashing down. Dissolving in sorrow-filled puddles before our eyes. All too soon, there was no time left between our “Hellos” & our “Goodbyes.”
0
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 9:37 PM UTC
A Missing Carriage
Please take a quick a moment to write a review. If you were not satisfied, what could I do? Customer care is always my goal, to all future guests who visit my soul. Closure’s essential to us moving on, It matters to me why now you are gone. Fearful my future will repeat mistakes, I need to know first I might have what it takes. Did I love too strongly at first when we met, then settle for stable as needs being met? Was it the fact that we need to work harder? disappointments too much for you, so why bother? With your help, my program can surely improve, for now I am ready to make my next move. Patrons of my heart may have different needs, beyond conversation and sowing of seeds. They may not discover the flaws that you see, because they love past them, unlike you, with me.
0
Oct 7, 2018
Oct 7, 2018 at 7:15 AM UTC
Yelp (for lovers)
I pile up twenty years worth of Publisher-declined Collections. They reach me to my knees. Little towers of Poetic Injustice; Mini-monuments to the years Of mailbox disappointments And cursing the arts. Now I thank for every manuscript Returned with their polite regrets. Another volume of *"Unpublished Works"* for the future. They are my Twelve Monkeys. My Poetry of Gold at the Rainbow's End.
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Apr 27, 2014
Apr 27, 2014 at 2:36 PM UTC
Poetic Injustice
The sunset sky dazzling with the golden hues, Taking bow in brilliant sparkle of experience Is it not a ****** of the story so far, that was today? Or is it building anticipation of the night yet to come. Watch the days go, some proud of their accomplishments Some leaving sighs of disappointments, Leaving all in awe of its Amaranthine twists and turns And the fortunate get to see the moon trying to steal the show from setting sun, Oh she is such a show off, isn’t she, basking in reflected glory Its magical, the sunset sky, Puzzling, sometimes just like a riddle, Leaving the nature stunned and amazed For it has been filling the canvas whole day with colours And now the sunset threatens to hide them all And in dark all the colours will be same A cue for the wise. Sunset sky has so much to offer, is she not a fine example of how uncertain a life can be Often reminding no matter what you planned, there will be some unexpected returns For End has its own brain, its own script Charting its own course So why just the beginning, every moment of the life should be grand, meted with equal passion and fervor She has been so clever; the sunset sky Leaving Twinkling cryptic messages for the night sky For even the dark has sparkle and hope if you keep your head up, A constant reminder that exuberance is an attitude of deep, rich, warm hearts **I want my sunset sky to be grand, magical, and full of stories of my life that has been And its memories to linger on in this world, in the tomorrow and a few more years to come**
0
Jun 27, 2011
Jun 27, 2011 at 7:45 AM UTC
In The Sunset Sky
The sunset sky dazzling with the golden hues, Taking bow in brilliant sparkle of experience Is it not a ****** of the story so far, that was today? Or is it building anticipation of the night yet to come. Watch the days go, some proud of their accomplishments Some leaving sighs of disappointments, Leaving all in awe of its Amaranthine twists and turns And the fortunate get to see the moon trying to steal the show from setting sun, Oh she is such a show off, isn’t she, basking in reflected glory Its magical, the sunset sky, Puzzling, sometimes just like a riddle, Leaving the nature stunned and amazed For it has been filling the canvas whole day with colours And now the sunset threatens to hide them all And in dark all the colours will be same A cue for the wise. Sunset sky has so much to offer, is she not a fine example of how uncertain a life can be Often reminding no matter what you planned, there will be some unexpected returns For End has its own brain, its own script Charting its own course So why just the beginning, every moment of the life should be grand, meted with equal passion and fervor She has been so clever; the sunset sky Leaving Twinkling cryptic messages for the night sky For even the dark has sparkle and hope if you keep your head up, A constant reminder that exuberance is an attitude of deep, rich, warm hearts **I want my sunset sky to be grand, magical, and full of stories of my life that has been And its memories to linger on in this world, in the tomorrow and a few more years to come**
Continue reading...
31
She's thoroughbred hunger From her double shift mom to her deadbeat dad She tiptoes through junkyard junglegyms Collecting alleyway beach glass She learned to swindle Haggled survival with the big guy Big sisters traded on corners She was one Karma mustve forgotten While doing rounds She's got an invincible soul Stitched of disappointments Wrapped in sorrow Hope as a bow He's thoroughbred gluttony From mommas limelight jewels to daddy's sin-shined shoes He learned to swindle To thrive Wall street walk on the 99% Politician promises To impermanent faces Costly trips To extravagant places Mixing up "enough" With "more" Looking for happiness In a store Though it seems to me Whats made of life Is what makes life worth living for
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Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 4:34 AM UTC
Two sides to a story
We the citizens, who live as refugees, We keep earning & see if our life is turning, To the price rise, we lose savings, Still we remain rock-bottom in standard of living. We belong to the middle class, Whose life always a breakable thin glass. Our life remains completely unsettle, Every second, life tests our mettle. Life chases us with pressure, failure and useless lecture, We are nurtured with a fear of future, Happiness remains just a leisure, Live with the unsecure & unsure present for a secure future. We keep us busy and function, We fear, when there arrives a function, Towards happiness, we run as a pilgrim, For the corporates, we become a mere victim. We run like an athlete for salary, food and target, For this globalized world, we are just a market, Like hungry dogs, we wait for increments, We keep running with bitter disappointments. We live in own house, only in our dreams, Our hearts cry with hopeless screams, Failures remain our tutors, Inability has turned us the irrecoverable debtors. Our appearance has a rich look, We have untold hidden burdens, That keep us shook, Keeps us forbidden and fear-ridden. Low class think us rich, High class always want us to be their ***** Politically neglected by the rulers, Economically exploited by the rich powers. We exhaust ourself for subsistence, We remain victorious and satisfied only in our existence, We lose our life to sustain in competence, We run our life with a mere persistence. More than the high class and low class, we suffer, Our lives never progressed as governments differ, All see low class with empathy and sympathy, To our difficulties, we are looked with apathy. On rich, we are not jealous, Towards our aim, we are zealous. Never think we are nothing, We truly have nothing to lose. We take risks to make history, Our path is nothing less than a mystery, You never allow us to come up, But we are not going to give up. Hello High class, Never pretend to live like us, to exploit us, Gone are the days, we remained fools, You will stand a day as the super intelligent fools. Before, we are hungry for food, Now, we are hungry to rule, Before, we feared to live, Now, we are ready to win the world. We are nothing! We are nothing We have nothing to lose! We won’t stop until having nothing could do nothing to us.
0
Nov 9, 2018
Nov 9, 2018 at 7:35 AM UTC
We- The Middle Class
We the citizens, who live as refugees, We keep earning & see if our life is turning, To the price rise, we lose savings, Still we remain rock-bottom in standard of living. We belong to the middle class, Whose life always a breakable thin glass. Our life remains completely unsettle, Every second, life tests our mettle. Life chases us with pressure, failure and useless lecture, We are nurtured with a fear of future, Happiness remains just a leisure, Live with the unsecure & unsure present for a secure future. We keep us busy and function, We fear, when there arrives a function, Towards happiness, we run as a pilgrim, For the corporates, we become a mere victim. We run like an athlete for salary, food and target, For this globalized world, we are just a market, Like hungry dogs, we wait for increments, We keep running with bitter disappointments. We live in own house, only in our dreams, Our hearts cry with hopeless screams, Failures remain our tutors, Inability has turned us the irrecoverable debtors. Our appearance has a rich look, We have untold hidden burdens, That keep us shook, Keeps us forbidden and fear-ridden. Low class think us rich, High class always want us to be their ***** Politically neglected by the rulers, Economically exploited by the rich powers. We exhaust ourself for subsistence, We remain victorious and satisfied only in our existence, We lose our life to sustain in competence, We run our life with a mere persistence. More than the high class and low class, we suffer, Our lives never progressed as governments differ, All see low class with empathy and sympathy, To our difficulties, we are looked with apathy. On rich, we are not jealous, Towards our aim, we are zealous. Never think we are nothing, We truly have nothing to lose. We take risks to make history, Our path is nothing less than a mystery, You never allow us to come up, But we are not going to give up. Hello High class, Never pretend to live like us, to exploit us, Gone are the days, we remained fools, You will stand a day as the super intelligent fools. Before, we are hungry for food, Now, we are hungry to rule, Before, we feared to live, Now, we are ready to win the world. We are nothing! We are nothing We have nothing to lose! We won’t stop until having nothing could do nothing to us.
Continue reading...
59
m*any days I feel it isn't worth it it is better I end it I just do not fit right Small disappointments unfilled expectations make my daily lessons I am no longer surprised gifted with so many unused liberties armed with many facilities having all basic amenities why still unsatisfied? my thirst for what? but compare it to so many of them where do my problems stand should my opinions even matter God still has to hear my many complaints every other day No wonder he doesn't listen, I wouldn't too. Blessed with so much wasted it all on being this bitter self I hate my present state draws the ugly future and the only cure is to feel gratitude on the things I still have on my conscience who still cares*.
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Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 2:07 PM UTC
Counting Blessings
Sometimes I wonder what you ever have seen in me, You stayed for 30 years, through thick and thin, Enduring all my flaws, loving patiently, Despite my disappointments and my sins. It hasn't been an easy road, I know, I've put you to the test more times than not. I've been a less than stellar beau, I wonder did you ever want me shot? I'm sloppy, weak, unkempt and always late, I haven't been the best at earning cash. Could this be what you wanted in a mate? I often think I've made our life a hash. I know I make you laugh once in awhile; Is that enough to keep you coming back? A chuckle here, an unexpected smile, Does that make up for everything I lack? I hope I give you something more than that, Perhaps a sense that life is not so grim. A lift in spirit, a peppy morning chat, Something to make you shake your head and grin. My contribution to our life is small, Diversion and distraction certainly, A joke or two, a pratfall, that is all I've learned to do, I'm sure you would agree. You've given so much more to me it's true. A rock, an anchor, a shelter from the gale. One thing's certain, I can count on you; You have a love that never flags or fails. I'm grateful for you every single day, There's not an hour goes by that I don't wonder why, You've stuck so long with me, but anyway, You did, and till the very day I die I'll say a prayer to God above, Thankful for your crazy stubborn love.
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Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 10:54 PM UTC
Crazy Stubborn Love
I live on the edge Driving into a cliff in my imagination Here the game plays Over and over from one triumph to the next I regret I forget Disappointments revive each play I lose myself Upon the ledge I had stood and gazed At the power But what is the use When nothing ever stays We laugh how hollow we are How nothing matters while we hold back the tears We emphasize the importance of Some distraction Then we belittle our actions for ones judgement We play this game Of desire and destruction While sinking deeper in numbing of pain We pretend the world deepends on our play To hide the fact that we are fading into oblivion One step at a time
0
Mar 8, 2016
Mar 8, 2016 at 8:43 AM UTC
Sports disillusion